I was heaving with so much anger and sadness. I could even care less if they'd kill me right now. I'm so done with being a sacrificial lamb—always covering their dirty little secrets as if I was destined to become a collateral damage.

Nakakasawa na rin maging tahimik.

"Why... you can't?"

Anna hissed, "Keep your voice lower! Don't... don't create your petty little scandal here, Brianna."

I chuckled, "We both know who here has more scandals... in private," I said. Anna remained mum. "What? Cat got your tongue? Because my dad's here? Why don't you tell him what the hell you've been doing to me for the past four years, stepmom?"

"Brandi!" Lolo stepped in, his authoritative voice almost echoing in the mansion's hallways. Napairap na lang ako—as if they're not used to moments like this. We literally swallow death threats for breakfast every day, they won't mind an acting granddaughter.

They're just scared... that may dad would know what happened four years ago.

And I think, what breaks me the most is that... I don't want him to know, too.

"Anna." She turned around, meeting my father's gaze, her hand holding the other to control the shakiness. She's scared... she's angry. She's every negative energy that exists... if that's even the best way to describe it. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"O-Of course not!" she uttered. "Your daughter's just angry, okay? Let's just... calm down for a bit."

Dad shook his head. "Tell me," he whispered, looking at me—his eyes pleading. "What happened?"

I smiled.

I hate my life, Dad. Sometimes I just want to die. Most of the time, I want to live. I'm always in between. Sometimes I'm okay... most of the times, I'm not. I want to keep living... but not this way.

"I-it's nothing dad. Just an outburst... I'm just stressed out." I gripped tightly on the purse that I was carrying. Things started to crawl in my hands and in my legs—my anxiety was acting up again.

It's gonna be okay... Brandi.

"I just need to... to rest, dad. I'll settle with this myself," I added, trying to pacify him with a smile. "I'm sorry..." I immediately turned around and walked away from them, letting the tears to silently flow down from my eyes.

Napapikit na lang ako at napaupo sa damuhan... I was out of their sight already. I couldn't swallow acting up anymore. I was clutching my chest, trying so hard to breathe in between the sobs. The pain felt so real that I wanted to rip my chest to let it all out... so that I could be finally done with all these things.

Maybe that's why I wanted to be a surgeon... because I'm so tired stitching myself up over and over again, that I wanted to just help fix people.

At least they still have a chance to be fixed.

I don't anymore.

What's sadder is that... they keep on tearing me apart and sometimes, it doesn't even hurt anymore.

I'm just... getting number and number every day.

"Why do I always have to see you crying?" I looked up—my sight blurry from all the tears... but I managed to smile upon seeing him. "It hurts seeing you like this."

"At least you're here..." I muttered. Uno crouched down, held my hand and pulled me closer to him.

"You know I'll do anything, right?"

"I love you so bad, it hurts, Brandi. I don't like seeing you like this..."

I smiled.

"You'll probably see more."

"I've seen a lot, already."

I chuckled.

"It's gonna get sadder, sometimes."

"I'm up for it."

"Even in my dark days?"

He wiped off my tears using his thumb and kissed my forehead, "I'll always be here... even in your dark days."

"What if it's always the dark days? What if I can't find myself anymore?"

Uno smiled.

"Brandi... I know, I'm not always the way for you to heal, and I don't want that for you—because I want you to find healing for yourself, and not just for the sake of us. You find yourself. But I'll help you. I won't let you go through it all alone," he uttered. "You'll find yourself, love. It'll be hard but you will."

"You said you'll do anything," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "Can you get rid of them?" I joked... but somehow, it didn't feel like it.

Uno chuckled.

"I'll try."

I wanted to laugh. We both know it was a joke... somehow, Uno's answer felt... real.

***

Dad talked to Uno first before we were able to finally go. I looked horrible, with all the make-up stains all over my face. Napasimangot na lang tuloy ako.

He didn't have to see me in this state.

Sometimes it really feels like the world's conspiring against me.

"Hungry?" Uno asked the moment he got back to the car. I nodded. I wasn't even able to take a bite a while ago. Uno reached out for a paper bag from the backseat and gave it to me, smiling. "Figured you'd like it."

"You really know how to make my heart flutter, 'no?" I asked before stuffing my mouth with chicken wings. Natawa na lang siya bago pinaandar 'yung kotse.

"Told your Dad I'll bring you somewhere for a breather."

"Explains the basket."

He paused for a while before letting out a small laugh, "You really have an eye for details."

I smiled and held Uno's hand, "Thank you. For always being there for me."

He smiled and intertwined our fingers, even holding my hand tightly. "It's the least I can do, Bran. I love you, okay? I won't let them hurt you over and over again."

Napangiti na lang ako at umusog nang kaunti para idantay ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.

The ride wasn't that long, pero nakatulog din naman ako kahit pa paano. I was filled with adrenaline when I realized that we were in a beach. Gabi na pero maliwanag pa rin naman. Uno was outside with my bodyguards as they check the whole place, napatingin naman sa akin si Uno at ngumiti.

Mabilis akong lumabas ng kotse at lumapit sa kanila, tinanguan naman ako ni Gio bago lumayo.

"There are guards everywhere so you're okay here."

"You own this?"

"Mom," he said.

"Basically, you do."

Uno chuckled and held my hand before putting it inside the pocket of the suit he was wearing. 'Yung suot niya kanina sa school, 'yun pa rin pala 'yung suot niya.

"You didn't change."

"I have spare clothes in the car," he muttered. "I just didn't have time to change. I was worried sick."

I sighed, "I'm sorry... I keep on worrying you."

Ngumiti naman si Uno at bahagyang hinila 'yung ulo ko palapit sa kaniya. I smiled when I felt him kissing my head, and then wrapping his arms around me, "If I could just keep you with me every day, love..." he whispered, sighing.

I chuckled.

"We see each other every day naman."

"Still, Fallon's always around," he said. "I can't stand seeing you around him."

I stayed silent for a while.

"They're... they're talking about the wedding again." I whispered. I felt him loosen his arms around me. Napatingin na lang ako sa dagat habang niyayakap ang sarili ko. Hanggang sa naramdaman ko na lang na pinatong ni Uno 'yung suot niya sa balikat ko. I looked at him, pain was evident on his face... but he forced a smile.

"We're going to do something... right?"

"Of course."

Tears started to fall from my eyes as I look at Uno. He immediately pulled me into a crushing hug, kissing my forehead, "I can't afford a losing game, Bran," he said. "You're not my losing game... I'll do anything, whatever takes."

I nodded, looking into his eyes before his lips met mine.

"I love you," he whispered in between the kiss. "Always."

***

My head was in a haywire, but I couldn't afford to skip classes. If I want to really leave that hell of a house, putting my personal fiascos shouldn't be an option—I should finish medschool.

Leave that house.

That's the plan.

"Bran, pa-check nga kung kabisado ko na." Lumapit naman ako kay Amelia at tinignan 'yung binabasa niya. Tumingin lang siya sa'kin. "So, 'yung brain surrounded siya ng cerebrospinal fluid 'di ba, tapos isolated 'yung fluid na 'yun sa bloodstream by blood-brain-barrier?"

I nodded, "So, kapag may acute inflammation, nagb-breakdown 'yung BBB, leading to the influx of blood-borne immune cells into the CNS, tama 'di ba?"

"Tapos... kapag Alzheimer's, Parkinson's or any degenerative processes, walang breakdown sa BBB."

Napatango ako ngumiti, "Yup."

"Ayun. Thank you, Bran!" Nag-thumbs up na lang ako at umupo na sa tabi niya bago tinuloy 'yung pagre-review ko. Finals na rin kasi. Finally. Matapos lang 'to, kakain talaga ako nang marami.

Lumabas muna ako ng library para kumuha ng kape sa vending machine, pero nagulat ako nang makita ko si Uno sa labas ng library. Ngumiti naman siya at lumapit sa'kin.

"Ang aga mo naman..."

He raised his codal, "Hindi ako makapag-aral sa bahay, ang ingay nila."

Natawa naman ako. "Good luck sa finals."

Ngumiti naman ako.

"Ikaw rin," I said. "Kuha ka rin coffee?"

"I was about to give you one inside the library."

Natawa naman ako at inabot 'yung hawak niyang can ng cold coffee. Tumambay na lang muna kami sa labas ng lib hanggang sa maubos namin 'yung kape.

"I'll see you later?"

I nodded. Papasok na sana ako pero humarap ulit ako kay Uno at humalik sa pisngi niya.

"Good luck."

"Tease. Isa pa."

I squinted my eyes, "Mag-review ka na."

"Isa pa nga..." Uno pouted at nilapit 'yung pisngi niya sa'kin. Natawa na lang ako at hinalikan ulit 'yung pisngi niya.

"Mag-review ka na."

"I think I'm gonna ace the test already," he said and winked before bidding his goodbye.

"Baliw talaga," I whispered, my hands on my face because it felt like they were heating up.

God.

I just love him so much.

***

I was thankful that nothing happened during our finals week. Although madalang kaming nakapag-usap ni Uno, understandable naman. Kapag may free time naman kami, nag-uusap kami saglit. Minsan, magvi-vidcall din kami pero pareho lang din kaming nag-aaral, at least there was still communication.

"Shet, tapos na," Tims blurted out, even stretching his arms pagkalabas namin ng classroom. "Kain tayo?"

I checked my time. Hindi pa naman tapos ang exams ni Uno kaya sumama na'ko sa kanila. Sa loob lang din naman kami ng Univ kumakain since may restaurants din dito sa loob.

"Grabe... papasa kayo ako..." Amelia said, out of the blue. Sa'ming magkakasama, siya lang 'yung Music ang undergrad.

"Baliw," I said. "I'm sure you'd ace it," I added. She's really smart naman kasi, to be honest. Ang bilis niyang maka-catch up sa mga lessons, kaya 'yung ibang prof namin, favorite rin siya.

We were in the middle of kwentuhan nang biglang tumawag 'yung secretary ni Lolo. I immediately ignore the call, and sighed before excusing myself. Tapos naman na siguro 'yung exams ni Uno...

"Bran." I immediately pulled him towards the student lounge and showed him the secretary's call. Napapikit na lang si Uno.

"Uno... I can't live a horrible life with that guy... you know what he did. I'm sure he'll do that over and over again..." I wasn't even aware that I was crying again, when I felt his hand on my face, wiping off the tears away.

"Uno... hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko. I'd even wish that I'm better off dead than being married to him."

Uno sighed and hugged me.

"I'll only suggest one thing to get you out of that fiasco, Brandi. But it would be really absurd."

"Whatever that is, Uno. Let's just do it."

"You sure? There'd be no turning back."

I nodded.

"I trust you," I said. "If this is a game of death, it's either they'll kill me or we'll just have to die together. I'll choose the latter."