"Babe..." Napapikit na lamang ako nang maramdaman ko ang pagyakap ni Uno mula sa likuran ko habang naglalagay ako ng toner sa mukha. I just got my license yesterday, tapos pinagsimula kaagad ako, and today was a full-blast at the hospital. Being a Neurosurgery resident required a lot, and I was exhausted as hell. "I missed you," he whispered and kissed my cheek.

I sighed, again, "I didn't want my overthinking ass get the best of me so I really tried my best to just ignore this," I said. "But really... what's going on?"

Uno sighed bago inikot 'yung inuupuan kong stool at iniharap ako sa kaniya, and then he knelt down in front of me, "I know we haven't been speaking a lot for the past two months, that's because first, I wanted you to focus on your examinations... it's... I know this reason is bullshit, but that's one."

"Yeah, it's bullshit," I said—chuckling. "You're never like this, Uno. Something happened and you don't want to tell it to me."

"Brandi..." he sighed, again, and then run his fingers through his hair—his frustration evident.

"What the hell is happening, Uno? You know us being not quite okay boggled the hell out of me. This is about that firm invitation pa rin ba?" I asked. "Tell me... you haven't been coming home ever since. If you will, ang dalang lang. Where have you been? I know this marriage was just for us to save me from getting married to Fallon, but Uno... three years. Are you trying to throw that away now?"

"Two months ago... I accepted a case."

"W-what case?"

"It's not political," he said. "Quite. But then it got really complicated because I found out that... I was after a big syndicate already... and they have connections with a lot of politicians and I... I didn't want to endanger your safety."

"So... you tried to avoid me?" He nodded. I sighed. "I-I thought we were... falling apart.

"Babe... no," he said and kissed my knuckles. "I promised you I'll fight for you, right? I can't let them hurt you. Your family, or anyone else."

"Uno... I told you to never bottle up your feelings," I said. "Until when are you going to keep this up? Nakakainis kasi... kasi gusto ko rin namang malaman kung okay ka pa ba... kung okay pa ba tayo... okay lang naman maging vocal kung hindi ka na okay, Uno, e. Kasi mas nakakatakot kung okay lang tayo... tapos biglang, wala na. Biglang may problema pala talaga... sabihin mo naman sa'kin."

"I-I'm just scared, Brandi," he whispered, his lips quivering as tears started to fall from his eyes. "I'm scared that I might not even be capable of making you safe."

I got down from the stool and held his shoulders, and smiled before wiping his tears away, "Why are you crying?"

He bit his lip before he pulled me and hugged me, "I know it doesn't make sense, but believe me, it will... one day," he whispered and broke the embrace before kissing my forehead. "I love you, Brianna... more than my life."

***

Dumaan muna kami ni Uno sa coffee shop malapit sa hospital para mag-breakfast nang kaunti since sobrang aga pa naman. Bumili na rin ako ng kape para sa mga kasama ko since si Tims na 'yung bumili. Nag-Neuro na rin kasi si Tims, tapos si Amelia napunta sa Lubang as a volunteer doctor. Parang gusto nga naming pumunta someday ni Tims since ang ganda and ang peaceful no'ng island.

Initially, we wanted to appy for PGH, but in the end, we ended up at my Tita's hospital. PGH would've been nice, too, to be honest, but some other doctors deserve the slots better.

"How are you and Uno?" Tims asked. I smiled before I took a bite from the strawberry na dala no'ng isang intern na kagagaling ng Baguio.

"We're... okay," I said. "We're going to be."

"So... you know there's something wrong?"

I nodded, "and he didn't want to admit anything, or tell me if there's something wrong... I mean he did, but it was obvious," I said. "Ang funny kasi alam mo 'yun? Three years... and Uno thought I still wouldn't get it when he's lying."

Tims chuckled, "Maybe he knew you'd get his lies," he said. "Maybe what he wanted to tell within those lines... was for you to still trust him on what's bound to happen."

I sighed. "I do trust Uno... but I want to be involved. Tims, pamilya ko 'to, e. Gulo ko talaga 'to, e. If he'd hurt himself in the process of trying to find justice for me, then is that still justice when they can buy it for themselves, and hurt my husband?"

"If that's justice for him then I don't want it." Nagulo ko na lang 'yung buhok ko bago ipinusod at inubos 'yung natitirang strawberry sa tub. Medyo matagal din 'yung one year na general surgery residence before neuro proper, pero I do enjoy the work naman. It's also nice to get a scope of general surgery procedures before proceeding sa specialty training.

Pagkatapos naming mag-ayos ni Tims, dumiretso na kami sa meeting room para sa referrals at information galing sa night team. We were all enthusiastic, siguro kasi may intern na nag-v-vlog kaya natatawa kami. After ng referrals at pagkauwi ng night team, nag-rounds agad kami ng mga pasyente.

"Ano oras pa surgery niyo?" Tims asked habang sabay kaming pabalik kami sa room.

I checked my wrist watch, "Mga 10 pa," I said. "Goodluck," I said. Natawa naman siya at nakipag-fist bump sa'kin. We parted ways pagkarating ko ng room since pa-diretso ng OR si Tims. Ako lang 'yung natira for notes and updates, since sila Tims nasa OR, tapos 'yung iba nag-check ng patients.

Come 9:30, I wrapped up my notes at nag-ayos na ng table bago nagsuot ng scrub cap. Minor surgery lang 'yung surgery na need kong mag-assist ngayon kaya mabilis lang most probably.

The surgery last for two hours, pero pagkabalik ko, wala pa rin si Tims. Nag-ayos muna ako saglit habang tinitignan 'yung charts bago pinuntahan 'yung ibang pasyente na pinapa-check ng chief resident namin.

I was on my way to the next patient nang mapahinto ako at mapatingin sa isang emergency patient na tinatakbo sa ER. I was stunned for a while—his face... it was literally crashed, if my eyes were right, pieces of flesh were dangling from his face—but there was just a huge blow in the middle of his face—like a crater... He was still bleeding midfacial, but there was blood all over his head and down to his chest.

It was my first time to see a maxillofacial trauma patient.

I took a deep breathe in. I wasn't scared... maybe a little; for a while. I'd be seeing a lot more than that if I'd be specializing in Neuro...

Napangiti na lang ako at napailing bago dumiretso sa susunod na patient to follow up on their vitals since schedule na ng operation mamaya.

"Hala po..." I gasped when I saw the patient eating. "Sched na po ng surgery ng anak ninyo mamaya kaya kailangan po munang mag-fast..." I explained calmly, but the patien'ts guardian seemed to not take it.

"Eh anong gagawin ko?! Gutumin 'tong anak ko? Ooperahan ninyo tapos gutom, e pa'no kung mamatay 'yan?!" I was stoned when she started yelling at me. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng gagawin para pakalmahin siya... it was my first time getting yelled at as a doctor, and suddenly, it felt like I was the smallest person in the world.

"A-ano... ano po kasi, hindi po muna pwedeng kumain 'yung anak po ninyo. Naka-dextrose naman po siya kaya nakaka-receive pa rin naman po ng supply ng nutrients ng kailangan ng katawan niya," I calmly explained as I was trying to stop myself from crying. I took a deep breathe in before plastering a smile, and hugging my clipboard. "Requirement po... na wala munang kakainin ang pasyente bago ang operation po, siguro naman po in-explain po 'yun ng attending ko."

"Eh pa'no nga kung magutom?! E 'di manghihina 'yan? Pa'no kung mamatay, e 'di kasalanan ninyo? Kabobo, e."

I bit my lower lip to calm myself, "As I said po... naka-dextrose po ang anak ninyo. Kapag po may anesthesia na sa katawan ng anak niyo during operation at kumain siya, may possibility po na pumasok 'yung intake, or even the acid itself na pumasok po sa lungs ng pasyente, which can cause more danger. Aspiration can be more dangerous po."

Nagulat na lang ako nang biglang may tumapik sa balikat ko. "Misis tama po ang sinabi ni Doc Manumbayao," he said. Ngumiti naman 'yung attending ko na medyo hinihingal pa since kagagaling yata ng OR. "Go," he mouthed. Napatango naman ako bago lumabas ng ward. Napasandal na lang ako sa dingding bago napa-buntonghininga at bumalik sa room namin.

"Okay ka lang?"

I bit my lip to stop myself from crying pero hindi ko na lang napigilan at napayakap kay Tims. I knew it was a part of being a doctor... pero, ang sakit pa rin. We studied a lot to give half of our lives to save other people, and hearing words like that felt like a slap...

Parang all of a sudden, all my efforts to be where I am today fell down the drain.

I broke down for a good minute or two. Tims went down to the cafeteria para bumili ng juice, and I went back to my business. My attending asked if I was okay, too, and explained that the mother thought it was not big of a deal and asked my attending to apologize for her. I was okay with it, anyway... I mean, I could understand her frustration naman. Siguro nadala lang din ako ng pagod kaya naiyak na lang din ako.

There were three consults before our 24-hour shift ended. I couldn't bother to check my phone because I was busy the whole time.

"Susunduin ka ba ni Uno, or gusto mo na lang sumabay sa'kin pauwi?"

"I'll ask Uno na lang," I told Tims and hugged him. "Thank you ulit."

He nodded, "Anytime, bakla," he said. "Alis na'ko. Ingat!"

"Ingat." I smiled before checking my phone habang inaayos ang gamit ko. I was on my way out when I spotted a local provincial news on my Facebook feed.

Patay sa pamamaslang: Isang 67-taong ginang ang natagpuang patay sa loob ng kaniyang bahay. Ayon sa pulisya, pagnanakaw ang tinitignan na motibo ng krimen. Kasalukuyang tinutunton pa ng mga pulis ang suspek.

Nagulat na lamang ako nang may kumuha na cellphone ko at hinila ang kamay ko papalabas ng ospital. My eyes were blurry from the tears but I knew it was Uno.

"You've seen it."

"It was Ali's aunt..."

Uno nodded and held my hand.

"Uno tama na..." I uttered. "If they can kill her... hindi rin tayo ligtas."

"Pero Brandi paano sila? Paano 'yung mga namamamatay? Paano sila Alex? Do you want their deaths to be in vain?" I stayed silent.

Uno started to drive away from the hospital. Nanatili lang akong tahimik hanggang sa makarating kami sa bahay.

"Brandi," Uno said. "I will be giving you two options... one, we'll run away and forget everything that's happened. We'll forget about everyone. We'll let them have their way—and we'll be safe," he said.

"Two?"

"Two... you'll know what happened to your mother."

"W-what?"

"Your mother," he uttered. "Lucy Montemayor."

"S-she died from a disease," I said. "At least... that's what my Dad said."

"What if they lied?"

I stayed silent.

"What happened?"

"Two?"

I closed my eyes.

"Two," I said. Uno got a document from his bag before handling it to me. Confused, I still opened the envelope and read what was inside.

Lucy Trinidad Montemayor

Cause of Death: 10 Gunshots to chest, 3 gunshots to head

"W-what..." I looked at Uno. "What's this?"

"Your mother did not die from a disease," he said. "She was assassinated at the house that your father bought for her... when you were young."

"Dad knows this?"

"I'm sure he does not," he said. "Your father loved your mom. And if he knew about this, he would not have you near anyone who killed her."

"W-who?"

"The Jerardos," he said. "For what you say? For the pettiest reason a fucked up rich man could say—because he didn't want a commoner in their household."

"What about Ali? Why did he get adopted?"

"Her mother was a witness in the killing of your mom. Ricardo Juarez, a bigtime Prosecutor back then, was responsible for the case of your mother's death. He, too, was blackmailed by the Jerardos that he and his family will be killed once a testimony for the maid gets out," he uttered. "Fallon's father hired people to kill the maid, but they kept Ali—funny because, he knew he has a son, and he killed his mother because he has a son."

"You mean it was out of mercy?"

Uno nodded, "And now that's why the Juarez has your family and the Jerardos on their hand," he said. "They know the biggest secrets—the massacre, and your mother's death."