I stared at Uno trying to absorb everything he has told me. A part of me did not want to believe this side of the story, but a part of me knew that they would really do something so cruel... and gruesome as this, just for them to preserve their namesake.

Their ill-gotten wealth they've been protecting for ages.

Of course, they did not want it to belong to someone who does not even have any kind of power to begin with.

But she was... no, she is my mother.

Naramdaman ko ang unti-unting pagpatak ng luha mula sa mga mata ko, hanggang sa hindi ko na mapigilan ang malakas na paghagulgol. Hinayaan lang ako ni Uno—hinila papalapit sa kaniya at niyakap nang mahigpit habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.

Halos hindi ako makahinga... it felt like my mind went blank. I wanted to scream so bad, pero wala nang lumalabas sa bibig ko.

I was just crying... and trying to let things sink into my mind.

Pakiramdam ko tuluyan na lang ako mababaliw sa sobrang dami ng nangyayari. Sa lahat ng ginagawa nila sa amin... sa lahat ng atraso nila sa'kin.

By this time it all became clearer... they never treated me as family. I only had my father's surname—but nobody treated me as one—well maybe my father did... but aside from him it felt like no one. I was the biggest collateral damage that they could have. I was their shock absorber. They knew I am the achiever because I wanted to prove myself that I am worthy, and they used that as an advantage.

And that wanted me to blind myself from the truth. To just run away, and never look back... when I knew deep within me that if I don't fight back. Who will?

If I can protect myself, sino'ng poprotekta sa mga taong naaapi?

I can't let my mother's death be in vain.

"Brianna... breathe," Uno shouted, pulling me back to my senses. Tears were still non-stop and I still couldn't breathe properly but if it weren't for him trying to wake the hell out of me, I might've just killed myself without even realizing. "Love... please."

"U-Uno... ang hirap," I said, trying to find the right words I could tell. I knew I was not in a good shape... the panic attack says it all. "A-ang hirap iproseso... kasi alam mo 'yun? Buong buhay ko... buong buhay ko ang akala ko namatay 'yung mommy ko sa sakit. Pinaniwala nila ako... Gano'n ba talaga sila kawalang-hiya? Na kahit sino na lang? Ilang tao pa ba ang mamamatay para sa kanila?"

"You know, Uno? Sana pinatay na lang din nila ako noon... kasi ang sakit, ang sakit-sakit na malaman na gano'n 'yung sinapit ng mommy ko, tapos ako nandito buhay... I have all the privileges to enjoy, pero para saan? Para ano?" Humiwalay ako sa pagkakayakap kay Uno at napatakip na lamang ng mukha ko habang patuloy lang na umiiyak. "Para pagtakpan silang lahat? Maging collateral damage? Nakakasawa na... pagod na pagod na'ko..."

Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap sa'kin ni Uno habang hinahalikan ang ulo ko. Hinayaan niya lang ako umiyak hanggang sa napagod na lang ako.

"Brandi... I'll save you. I'll save you whatever it takes."

***

"Packing, love?" I checked my wristwatch before finishing my packing. I really did not realize na sobrang hassle na umuuwi pa'ko sa bahay kahit malapit lang naman sa hospital 'yung bahay namin—siguro kasi enthusiastic pa'ko no'ng unang week. Pero isang oras lang kasi ang meron ako after the 24-hour shift, tapos kailangan ko nang tapusin 'yung next 8 hours para makumpleto 'yung 32-hour duty... sobrang draining pero dito naman ako masaya.

Kahit sobrang ironic, pakiramdam ko ito na 'yung pahinga ko sa mundo. Kasi hindi ko iniisip 'yung problema ko...

I picked up my bag and nodded, "Hassle kasi if you'll keep on picking me up pa. Baka ikaw 'yung ma-late sa firm niyo," I said before checking myself at the mirror. "Tara na?" Uno nodded ang grabbed my bag. I had a good cry, and the quick cold shower soothed my nerves, but I still had to take my meds to calm my mind. I can't continue on the next 8 hours kung sobrang blangko ko. Kahit naman naka-from duty status na'ko, may ginagawa pa rin naman kami sa ospital.

"I'll pick you up at 5:00?"

I nodded and smiled. "Okay," I said. "Let's eat out?"

He chuckled, "I'll cook when we get home. Sounds better?"

A lot of people ask how we make things work between us—we just like silence a lot. We understand each other's differences, and within three years of being with him, he has always been understanding and patient with me—even during my panic attacks when nightmares come.

My nightmares of what happened that night are still there. I still feel miserable and lonely... but lesser because Uno's there to make me feel safe. It doesn't feel right at some point, but maybe Uno knows, too... that this wound within me, even after seven years of trying to recuperate—I am still bleeding.

The wounds are still there... intact. Hurting me. Over and over again, as if it's never going to end.

I just had to live with it—as if it's a curse they've casted upon me.

"This information you got... where was it from?"

"Ali," he said. "How these private investigators got these documents, I have no idea."

I sighed. I didn't want to instigate anything kaya nanatiling tahimik na lang ako.

He said I should trust him.

I trust him.

But, I'm still scared...

"Uno..." I called pagkababa ko ng kotse. He raised both his eyebrows and beamed a smile at me. "Thank you."

He smiled.

"I don't say this every day, but I love you, Brianna," he said. "I love you so much."

Five minutes pa lang before eight no'ng makarating ako sa post ko. Tims already bought me breakfast from the canteen kaya kumain muna ako saglit bago 'yung morning endorsements ng cases na hinandle ko sa duty ko sa junior na magpe-present ng cases sa consultants.

I was updating the patient charts, habang si Tims naman umalis saglit para magpapirma sa chief resident namin. Dalawang oras na kaming nasa post, pero benign lang 'yung duty kaya sinabay ko na rin 'yung page-edit ng powerpoint since may conference pa mamayang hapon.

"Ikaw pala in-assign diyan," Tims said while opening a bottle of iced coffee. Pinaningkitan ko naman siya ng mata kaya natawa siya sa inasal ko. "Tanga malamang binilhan kita bakla." My face beamed bago ko inabot 'yung iced coffee at nag-thank you.

"Dahan-dahan mare, baka naman mag-palpitate ka niyan."

I chuckled, "Grabe! Hindi pa naman ako umiinom."

"I mean, reminder lang," he said before taking a small sip. "Baka tunggain mo na naman. Kala mo yata tubig 'yan no'ng medschool, e." Natawa naman ako sa sinabi niya. I mean, he didn't even lie! Literal na coffee is life talaga no'ng nasa medschool kami (hanggang ngayon naman kasi mas lalong wala rin kaming tulog) matapos ko lang basahin 'yung mga samplex at trans ko.

Natawa ako nang makita ko sa reflection sa laptop ko na nakangiti na pala ako. I wouldn't even notice... I am stressed from all the paper works, and patients, and surgeries I have to handle and assist... But I'm happy. Kasi within the hours of my duty, wala akong ibang maisip. I can't even check my phone because I'm too busy to be a doctor—to find out what causes their ailment, to finish up surgical operations, to follow up on other departments—a lot happens within a 32? 36-hours of duty... and that's my freedom.

Because within those hours I'm not just Brianna Andi Manumbayao—the former Vice President's granddaughter. A shock absorber; a collateral damage; a sacrificial lamb.

I'm Doctor Brandi Manumbayao—a junior resident.

And nothing makes me more than happy but being called as that.

"You're happy." Napalingon ako kay Tims at mabilis naman niya akong inabutan ng tissue. I was confused at first, only to realize I was crying again. "You're not okay, Brandi..."

I smiled, trying to suppress my feelings. "I'm okay," I said. "If not now... someday."

"And when will that be?"

"When freedom doesn't cost my happiness anymore."

I sighed and went back to what I was doing. "Papirma lang ulit ako kay doc," Tims said bago tinapik ang balikat ko at umalis sa post namin. I stared at the powerpoint that I was making bago iyon tinapos at in-email sa chief namin.

"Bili lang akong chips," I told Tims pagkabalik niya. He nodded naman and asked me to buy some for him. Bago ako dumiretso ng canteen pumunta muna ako ng CR para ayusin 'yung pants ko—but as I was currently fixing my pants, I couldn't help but eavesdrop...

"Ma'am, true ba? May VIP na naaksidente?"

"Alin? Ah... 'yung balita? Oo raw, e. Nando'n na rin yata Trauma Neurosurgery team sa ER."

"Sino na nga ulit 'yun? Juarez?"

"Juarez yata, oo. 'Yung anak ni Senator. Ali ba 'yun?"

W-what...

Halos mapaupo ako sa sahig nang marinig ko ang pangalan ni Ali. I was still trying to process what I've heard, pero pakiramdam ko mag-isa na lang gumalaw ang katawan ko—and before I even knew it, I was running towards the emergency room already.

There were fewer patients swarming in, and when I already heard the siren of the ambulance, I already prepared myself... baka naman nagkamali lang... baka kapangalan.

But I almost lost it when I saw the person lying on the stretcher...

"Ma'am clear the way po." Nagulat na lang ako nang biglang may humila sa'kin.

"Brandi..."

I shook my head, trying to deny what I just saw with my own eyes. Baka nananaginip lang ako... sana nananaginip lang ako...

"Tims... Tims I'm... I'm dreaming 'di ba?"

He sighed.

"Chen. She needs you."

Halos matumba na lang ako nang makita ko si Chen na nakaupo sa sahig... sinusubukang tulungang patayuin ng mga nurse. Mabilis akong tumakbo papunta kay Chen at niyakap siya nang mahigpit.

"B-Brandi..." she whispered, hugging me tight. "I can't... I can't lose Ali. I can't..."

"You won't," I said. "You won't. Ali will fight, okay? Kaya please, lumaban ka rin."

"Brandi, hindi ka ba pagod? Kasi ako pagod na talaga," sambit niya. "Ayaw ko na... I'd even kill them if I can. I just... want them dead."

***

We managed to calm Chen, but I still couldn't attend to her dahil pinag-assist din kami sa emergency surgery kay Ali since nagkaroon din ng impact sa abdomen niya. There were no spine injuries, thank God, but Ali... ended up being comatosed. Uno got out of the firm early, kaya I asked him muna to look after Chen since I still can't ditch my duty...

"Chen," I uttered after I rushed towards the hospital canteen pagkatapos ng duty ko. She looked at me and smiled a little before hugging me tight. "How about Phoebe?"

"I asked her nanny to pick her up from her school," she said looking at me with her eyes bloodshot. "She's okay."

"Babe, are you hungry? Bilhan muna kitang pagkain." I smiled at Uno and mouthed my thanks bago umupo sa tabi ni Chen.

"Brandi... nakakapagod na. Ang dami na nilang sinasakripisyo. You think Ali got comatose on a sudden car accident? Sobrang ingat ni Ali, Bran," she said. "I-I... I can't believe they'll try to kill a father and my husband because of their selfishness."

I sighed.

I had to go home to pack some spare clothes from Chen's stuff since may mga gamit din siya sa'kin, pero nagulat ako nang makita ko si Daddy sa loob.

"D-Dad..."

"How's Ali? What happened?"

I took a deep breath in, "Car accident," I said. "He's in a coma."

Napahilamos naman ng mukha si Dad at hinawakan ang magkabilang balikat, "Brandi... are you okay?"

I bit my lip... tears started to fall from my eyes as I try to smile at him.

"Dad... Dad I'm not okay. Akala ko... akala ko matatapos na 'tong lahat na hindi ko na lang pinakulong si Fallon, kahit natatakot pa rin ako sa kaniya, pero bakit gano'n?!" My father was taken aback—even I was shocked from my sudden outbursts, pero pakiramdam ko sasabog na lang talaga ako...

"W-what do you mean? You're safe with us, anak..."

I chuckled.

"Dad... do you really not know anything?" I uttered. "I'm not safe here, as long as they're existing. As long as they're in power. Pa! Why are you living in the dark?! Why do you keep on living in the dark?!"

"Bran... I-I can't understand."

I closed my eyes.

"You don't know?" I asked. "Si mama... hindi siya namatay sa sakit. Pinatay nila si mama. Pinatay nila 'yung mama ko."