"They already caught the suspect?" I asked Uno when I saw the headlines about this high-profile socialite rape-slay case, as I browse on my iPad for news updates. He nodded and took a sip from his cup of brewed coffee. It's our norm kasi kapag day off ko sa hospital—tatambay lang sa terrace ng bahay at magkakape.

"They'll just probably stir up the drama and then set him free," he said. "Justice can be bought here anyways. Just bribe the shit out of the media and they'll fall into the pit."

"Well not everyone," I said and smiled. "Marami pa naman diyan na mas pipiliin pa rin 'yung tama kaysa sa mali."

Uno paused for a while and looked at me, "Pero pa'no kung wala nang totoo? Pa'no kung puro mali na lang pala lahat?"

"Then you seek the truth," I said. "If no one else's buying what's the truth—the real truth—already, then show it yourself, find it. There's nothing wrong naman if you pursue it even without their permission, 'di ba?"

Uno smiled and stood up from his chair and walked towards me hanggang sa mapunta siya sa likod ko. Napangiti na lang ako nang malawak no'ng niyakap niya ako mula sa likuran, at hinalikan ang gilid ng ulo ko, "You're my truth," he whispered. "Thank you for keeping me grounded."

I smiled and held his arm, "Always."

Wala akong pasok ngayon, pero si Uno naman may trial sa RTC. I haven't really watched him in the courtroom setting kaya sumama na lang ako sa kan'ya. Wala rin naman akong gagawin sa bahay since naka-schedule naman 'yung pagre-review ko para sa boards... pero siyempre, the paranoid student in me brought small reviewers para kahit pa paano may binabasa pa rin ako. Although sayang lang din kasi last trial na rin 'to.

"Pro-bono?" I asked.

Uno nodded, "A doctor was the prime suspect for the murder of a former medical student. I took the case as pro-bono since that guy lost everything already the moment he became the suspect," he said. "It feels something's not right..."

"So, you took the case?" Binitiwan kasi no'ng dating abogado 'yung kaso dahil maraming na-overlook. Sakto naman nailipat sa firm nila Uno 'yung kaso kaya siya na ang kumuha agad.

"Yes," he said. "Although the prosecution did an investigation already, there's something really odd about the case."

"Like?"

"I can't really tell anything further about this but, there's just one thing... There's no motive for the crime—that's one thing that the past lawyer overlooked," he uttered looking at me for a little while and then focusing his attention back to the road again. "I mean, matagal naman na silang magkakilala, naging sila pa raw... pero hindi naman alam no'ng doctor na matagal nang nakauwi sa Pilipinas 'yung biktima, nalaman na lang niya no'ng isinugod siya sa hospital."

I sighed.

"But Uno, crimes without motives can happen naman, 'di ba?"

"Actually yes. But isn't it odd, Brandi? Hindi alam no'ng doctor na nandito na siya."

"You're the lawyer and I know it's your duty to believe your client... but this is an obvious case..."

"Brandi... you know rigor mortis, right? When they arrived at the crime scene, the body was already in the phase of rigor mortis. And I tracked every CCTV that would show the doctor... he left the hospital 2 hours after the suspected time of death."

I paused for a while, "So... the victim was already dead when he left..."

"Exactly," he said. "Prior to that, she was also with a tutee before she died. The condominium where she stays at has a lot of cameras except for the rooftop, so the tutee left already before she died, tapos sa nakuha naming footages sa mga nakaparadang sasakyan na nahagip 'yung tutee, an hour after that... saka siya nalaglag."

"Oh my God... tapos wala nang sumunod?"

He nodded.

"I also matched the affidavit with the CCTV footages that we acquired, they were all exact..."

I sighed. "This might be suicide, Uno..."

"We're trying to suspect that..." he sighed and showed me a file. "I'm showing this to you because you're a doctor, and I need a second opinion from you."

I immediately checked the document at nagulat ako sa laman. "These were all found from the blood of the victim?"

He nodded.

"Uno... higher doses of these drugs from the normal range that should be injected inside the body has a lot of complications." Napatingin ako sa kaniya, nanlalaki ang mata. "That includes..."

"Hallucinations."

"Hallucinations."

I bit my lower lip in disbelief. Sobrang lagpas sa normal range ng doses ng drugs na nasa katawan niya... hallucinations, if not 100%, maybe 90, would be the main reason why she fell from her condo's rooftop and eventually killed herself.

Besides the drugs were illegal...

"The prosecution knows about this already?"

He nodded, "We'll be appealing for a new investigation for the case," he said. "Someone has to be an accessory to the crime."

"What if she just... really wanted to die?"

"These aren't lethal doses, right? Just enough to cause confusion to guise it as suicide." I nodded. "If she really wanted to commit suicide, she'd take doses that would really paralyze her and stop her heart. These are study booster drugs, Brandi. She wanted to study... it must be the one who gave her the drugs. So that no one would suspect it's the drugs..."

"How... how would you be sure?"

Uno tapped on his steering wheel and bit his lip, "I just... felt."

"Uno... you might just want to check the drug she's been taking," I said. "Medical history says she has tachycardia, but there's no traces of medications for it."

He looked at me.

"Someone might've changed the content." It was as if they heard us dahil biglang tumawag sa kaniya 'yung Prosecutor. They figured it out already and waited for the results before informing Uno.

He smiled and held my hand.

"You were right," he said. "It was the victim's doctor."

I sighed.

"God... why would she even do it," I uttered. "You got this, Uno," I said. "I'll always be here to cheer you up."

The courtroom felt sad—people were silent, but the atmosphere felt gloomy and sad. It wasn't a really high-profile case, but the doctor's quite well-known din kasi kaya may media din sa paligid. I chose to sit at the back and smiled at Uno when he looked at my direction, napangiti na lang din siya at tumango.

"All rise for the presence of Honorable Teofilo de Guzman." We all stood up when the Judge entered the courtroom. "The court is now in session." The sound of gavel hitting the block echoed throughout the whole room. Napaupo na kaming lahat habang binabasa ng clerk 'yung tungkol sa kaso.

"Prosecution and Defense counsel," the Judge uttered. Napatingin naman ako kay Uno, at sa Prosecutor na may hawak na files. Napatingin ako sa doctor na nakatingin lang sa iisang direction—asawa niya siguro. Napa-buntonghininga ako. Takot na takot siguro sila sa lahat ng nangyayari... sobrang nakakatakot naman kasi talagang mapagbintangan sa bagay na hindi mo ginawa.

We waited for a while as they review what the prosecution submitted hanggang sa may nagsalita.

"In light of new pieces of evidence after careful analysis of the Office of the Prosecutor hereby recommends the dismissal of the case of murder against Erik Manabat." Napako lang ang tingin ko kila Uno habang inaalo niya 'yung doctor... Suddenly it came to me. If they weren't able to figure it all out, that guy could've just lost everything then and there...

"The release of Erik Manabat is ordered effective immediately. An investigation for the new case will be opened effective immediately."

Napatingin sa'kin si Uno habang nakatingin lang ako sa kanila. Napangiti siya dahilan para ngumiti rin ako pabalik.

If there's one thing I'll never get tired of... it's this. Seeing him happy doing what makes him happy.

I just... can't wait for them to stand on the defense, and there's nothing even the best lawyer would be able to do.

I just want them behind bars.

"Hey," he whispered, sliding his hand behind my waist. "Gutom ka na ba? Kain muna tayo bago ako pumuntang firm?" I smiled and nodded bago kami lumabas ng RTC ng Makati. We just settled for a restaurant near his firm para hindi rin siya ma-late.

"Nakausap mo na ba 'yung lolo mo?" I shook my head. Almost magt-three years na rin no'ng natapos ang term nila lolo at ng father ni Chen—of course, they wouldn't let go of the power so their substitutes were from their parties, still. Until now, the media bribing doesn't stop—although I'm kind of relieved since dumarami na rin 'yung nagiging critics nila.

"Uno... have I ever told you that Fallon didn't give the drugs back then?"

Napatingin sa'kin si Uno at nangunot ang noo, "What?"

"I heard that... just like the case of the dead victim, someone urged Fallon to use drugs before doing the crime," I said. "They said violence wouldn't do it, drugs would..." I bit my lip to stop my voice from cracking. Nagulat na lang ako nang bigla akong yakapin ni Uno.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered as he caresses my hair. "I swear Brandi... I'll put them behind bars."

I smiled.

"Just as long as you're there... and you're okay, and no one harms you. I'll be okay, Uno."

***

The case did bother me quite a little kasi naalala ko na naman 'yung nangyari noon kaya ilang oras lang din akong nakatulala sa kwarto imbes na makapag-aral. The trauma is there... it still is there. The nightmares are never-ending. Lagi ko naman silang naaalala.

Pero kailangan ko na ring maging matapang para sa sarili ko.

I took a deep breathe in and opened my reviewer. Two months and two weeks na lang kasi matatapos na 'yung PGI namin. Rotation na lang sa OB at Ophtha tapos PLE na. Konti na lang magiging licensed na'ko...

But even then, I still feel caged. Na parang isang maling hakbang lang, nandiyan na naman sila para guluhin ang buhay ko... Natatakot pa rin naman talaga ako hanggang ngayon.

There were no assurances. They never made us assured. Na parang araw-araw naglalakad lang kami nang dahan-dahan sa sinulid—that even though I try to convince myself that I am in control of my life... at the end of the day, it still sounds like a lie.

I guess it's a curse.

I spent the whole day reviewing for the licensure examinations. Punong-puno na ng sticky notes 'yung cork board ko kaya 'yung iba sa dingding ko na lang din dinidikit. Mukha na ring coloring pad 'yung mga libro ko. Ilang samplex na rin yata sinagutan ko. Pero super helpful pa rin talaga kapag nae-expose ka sa workforce ng healthcare

I was in the middle of watching a Netflix movie for my 2-hour break nang biglang tumawag si Chen. I was smiling when I answered the phone.

"How's my pamangkin!" I exclaimed pausing the movie that I was watching.

"Hay nako, ang likot-likot na! Phoebe, say hi to your tita, she'll give you toys." Napangiti ako no'ng tinutok ni Chen 'yung video sa anak niya. Halos magkasabay na umalis sila Fallon at sila Chen—yet the difference, umuuwi-uwi naman si Fallon, but thank God he has never bothered me ever since naman...

"Anyway Bran... we're coming home," she uttered—her tone, serious. "This is about you, our family..."

"H-ha?"

"Fallon received a tip about my family and the Juarez... it's quite complicated but once we get home, we might as well start looking for private investigators. We'll try to infiltrate the system of the Juarez and my family... I'm sorry it took so long, Brandi. We've been trying to find way ever since we came here, but those psychopaths are just so good at hiding their dirt."

"It's going to be unsafe, Chen. Mas safe naman na kayo diyan sa Seattle. 'Wag na kayong umuwi. Si Phoebe..."

She sighed, "As much as we want to stay, Brandi. Delikado na rin kami rito, if we won't come home baka mamatay na lang kami rito... they're not stopping Brandi. They will not stop. The more we try to run away, the more they catch us..."

Napapikit na lamang ako at napamasahe sa sentido ko... God, they weren't after us but they've been trying to chase Chen just to send them back home?

They're that afraid?

"We know it'd be easier to find fault when we're far from them, but they can't chase us when we're home..." she said. "We're gonna be okay, Brandi. We'll end this."

I sighed.

"Be careful," I said before ending the call.