We all fell into silence. Nagkatinginan lang kami ni Chen habang naghihintayan kaming lahat na may magsalita. Too silent that we could almost hear Ali's heart breaking...

"Will we be able to meet them?"

"We'll arrange the schedule. Don't worry, you're all protected."

"Thank you," Ali said before ending the call. He was playing with his phone with both of his hands... hanggang sa napatingin siya sa'min, nakangiti.

"You heard that? They killed my mom." His voice started to crack, but he was still smiling. Tears started to fall from his eyes but he remained silent... biting his lower lip to stop himself from sobbing. Niyakap naman siya ni Chen.

I chewed on my thumb—I wasn't really sure how I'd react. I knew at some point that Ali could've had an idea that that's what really happened—pero ang sakit pa rin palang marinig 'yun mismo sa iba.

Sometimes, the truth hurts the most when you hear it from others.

"I'll never forgive them..." he uttered. "I'll have to eliminate them all."

Ilang minuto rin kaming binalot ng katahimikan—I couldn't even think of the right words to say to them. Parang mental block na lang nang biglaan... minsan kapag sobrang affecting talaga sa emotional state rin ng taong malapit sa'yo, biglang hindi mo alam kung pa'no i-approach 'yung problem because you're trying to weigh words... and their emotional capacity... it gets harder the more you try it.

"It'd be really hard to figure out how to hack into their intel... but we'll try to find ways," Ali said, wiping his face, and then smiling at us. "Matatapos na'to... konti na lang."

The atmosphere was too heavy and gloomy, pero buti na lang nandito si Phoebe para pagaanin 'yung nararamdaman namin—lalo ni Ali... God, I really hope she doesn't get to witness everything that's happening right now when she gets old. All I want right now is for them to be free, without any cost... because that's the real freedom that we all should have.

That's what they deserve.

That's what we'll work hard for...

Chen cooked Kare-kare kaya do'n na rin kami kumain. We were all laughing as Chen feeds Phoebe. Ang kulit-kulit na rin kasi! Grabe, sobrang surreal ding makita at makasama 'yung batang 'to. During medschool hanggang sa maka-graduate kasi ako lagi na lang na sa phone ko siya nakikita. Tapos sobrang busy pa kaya super dalang din na nakakapag-video call kami. Hanapan ng time na lang talaga minsan.

Ayaw ko rin namang walang kinakausap si Chen... sobrang dami na rin niyang pinagdaanan looking back. I was just glad Ali didn't turn out like the douchebag we thought he was... He was even encouraging Chen to study forensic pathology again, pero sabi naman niya kapag okay na lang daw ang lahat.

The dinner went well, although we were really trying our best to avoid a serious topic. Kahit two years old pa lang kasi 'yung bata, ayaw naman din naming makita niya na malungkot kami, or maramdaman niyang may negative energy. That's the least we can do to kids kasi—to stop inducing them traumas, or negative memories. Most of us didn't really grow up in a nice environment because they were all either busy with their businesses, or just plain dumbasses who didn't know how to care for a child—so we already know how it feels, and we don't want her to grow up in an environment such as that.

It's very horrifying, honestly. It'd feel like the negative aura will always be there to linger because you just grew up with it.

"Gusto mo ng soda and chips after this?" Chen asked as we wash the dishes. Sila Uno naman na 'yung nag-ayos ng lamesa at naglinis ng kalat ni Phoebe. "Couldn't stock up on liquors kasi alam mo na... there's the kid." We chuckled.

I really love that I witnessed how she was able to transition from a lady to a very fine young woman with a family. She grew up spoiled and protected a lot kaya she wasn't really that independent back then ... but seeing how she works hard together with Ali to overcome these all... sobrang wow, talaga.

I smiled and nodded, "We have a lot of catching up to do, honestly," I said. Natawa naman si Chen sa sinabi ko.

Pagkatapos naming maghugas no'ng mga pinagkainan, umakyat muna kami sa kwarto ni Phoebe since inaantok na nga 'yung bata. Nilinisan muna siya saglit ni Chen at binihisan habang nakaupo lang ako sa bean bag at hinihintay sila.

Sa garden malapit sa pool area nila kami naglatag ng picnic blanket. Sobrang liwanag no'ng lights sa labas, kaya in-on na lang namin 'yung fairy lights sa gazebo sa gilid. Sila Uno naman nasa opisina ni Ali kaya hinayaan na lang muna namin silang makapag-usap.

"You think this well end anytime soon?" Chen asked as she popped open a can of soda and took a sip from it. Napa-buntonghininga naman ako habang nakatingala sa langit, "You know it's really possible that we'll all just end up getting tired from doing this chase kasi it seems like it's never going to end."

"It really eats you up inside, 'no?" I said, chuckling. "I just... pray every day na sana hindi tayo mapagod... kasi hindi na lang naman para sa'tin tayo lumalaban 'di ba? There's Phoebe already... and she really gives me strength to fight for this, Chen." I bit my lip and tried my best to smile at her—pero feeling ko nagmukha lang akong tanga na pinipilit ngumiti habang umiiyak.

Nakakapagod na talagang umiyak.

Pero feeling ko hobby ko na lang yata 'yun.

Chen sighed, "To be honest for the first time in my life I wanted to thank all of them because I met Ali," she said. "Maybe that meant breaking up with my first love... pero it led me to my greatest. But you know it gets tired, too, kasi akala namin kapag nasa ibang bansa na kami hindi na nila kami guguluhin... mas malala pa pala... gusto ko na lang matapos lahat."

"How about you... what do you really feel deep inside?" Chen asked.

"Sobrang nakakapagod Chen, sa totoo lang... gusto ko na lang tumigil minsan kasi feel ko rin parang wala na lang patutunguhan. Kasi ilang taon na rin no'ng ginawa sa'kin 'yun ni Fallon, pero hanggang ngayon wala pa ring nangyayari... siya 'yung may kasalanan pero ako 'yung nagbabayad," natatawa kong sambit bago uminom sa soda ko. I harshly wiped away the tears that fell from my eyes and looked up to try and stop them from falling.

"It's tiring... kasi it always haunts me every day... There would be times that I'd wake up with a clear mind, there would be times that I'd wake up crying kasi nandiyan na naman... pero may mga gabi rin na ayaw ko na lang talagang matulog kasi pakiramdam ko babangungutin na lang talaga ako," I uttered. "Kasi gusto ko pang mabuhay... gustong-gusto ko pang mabuhay, kasi gusto ko silang makita na pinagbabayaran nila lahat ng ginawa nila sa'kin, sa'tin... sa panloloko nila sa bansa."

"Perfect family my ass." I snorted as I chuckle over that phrase. I abhorred it... because none of it was true. Perfect? Family? They don't even treat us like family—we're just pawns for them... chess pieces that they'd get to move just to protect the queen.

Chen laughed, "These people don't even have an inkling how bad shit's going on inside," she said. "And nobody even dares to stand up against the current."

"They just go on with it," I said. "Of course, with a price."

Natawa na lang kaming pareho.

***

Sobrang hectic ng naging schedule the next day—nag-expect na rin kami kasi nga weekend at kadalasan 'yun lang din ang available schedules ng mga buntis na nagpapa-check-up. Sobrang daming patients na nakapila, kaya 'yung iba na 'di naman need ng equipment, kami-kami na lang din ang gumagawa.

Ang dami ring mga nagreklamo kaya sobrang sinumpa ko na talaga na ayaw ko masyado ng OB—or siguro ako lang 'yun. Ewan. Hindi naman sa super ayaw ko, pero sobrang different lang siguro talaga kasi sa gusto kong i-specialize. Kasi ang cute rin kapag nagche-check kami ng fetal heartbeat, although may time na iyak nang iyak si Amelia kasi no'ng nag-check siya one time, patay na pala 'yung baby, hindi tuloy naming alam kung pa'no sasabihin sa mother.

"Grabe, nakakaloka pota. Makapag-demand mga pasiyente kala mo naman kayang mag-clone ni Doc?" Natawa naman ako sa bulong ni Tims habang chine-check namin 'yung charts ng mga pasyente. Medyo marami-rami pa rin kasi.

"Gaga," sambit ni Amelia at napasandal na lang sa pader. "Grabe... keri ko kaya 'yung pagiging demanding kapag nag-volunteer doctor?"

Natawa ako, "Demanding na rin naman na talaga kapag nag-residency tayo..."

Tims sighed, "Sabagay," he said at napatingin sa'kin. It was our sign already to assist the patients—grabe, kailangan talaga may coordination ka sa mga kasama mo para mapabilis 'yung work.

Medyo nakahinga na kami nang maluwag no'ng dalawang patient na lang ang natitira, natatawa naman si doc habang tinitignan kami. "Hirap din sa OB 'no? Minsan chill, tapos biglang surprise." Natawa rin tuloy kami, pati 'yung medical clerks na nagu-update ng paper works.

"Kain tayo sa labas? Libre ko na," Doc asked habang naglalakad kami sa hallway ng hospital. Um-agree na kaming lahat kasi nakakahiya rin naman kung tatanggi ka pa, e si Doc na nga nag-aaya. May ramen house naman sa malapit kaya do'n na lang din kami kumain. Konting kuwentuhan bago bumalik sa ospital.

"Uy, sagutin ko lang 'to, 'wag niyo na 'ko hintayin." Amelia and Tims nodded kaya sumabay na sila sa mga clerks.

"Hey..." I greeted with a smile.

"Hey, love. I miss you. Tapos na duty mo?"

"Hmmm... yup, why?"

"Let's go for a walk at the mall?"

I nodded as I see his car entering the gate. "I'll just get my stuff."

"Okay," he said. "I love you."

I chuckled, "Sweet mo ngayon, ano meron?"

Natawa naman siya at pinatay ang tawag bago lumabas ng sasakyan, "Bawal ba?" he asked as he walks towards me. "Hintayin na kita sa loob."

Nakakainis... sobrang mellow na tao ni Uno. He doesn't really show that much of affection, kaya kapag sinusumpong kinikilig pa rin talaga ako.

Baka naman mabuntis ako nang 'di oras, kaloka. 'Di pa'ko pumapasa ng boards! Kalma muna...

We entered the hospital habang magka-hawak ng kamay kaya 'yung iba inaasar kami—minsan lang kasi nila kaming makitang magkasama sa hospital kasi alam din naman nilang lawyer 'yung asawa ko. Iniwan ko muna siya sa lobby at mabilis na pumunta sa station namin para kunin 'yung gamit ko.

"Hindi ba'ko mukhang haggard?" I asked Amelia. Natawa naman siya.

"Ang bastos nito... mukha kang model kaya araw-araw, shuta ka," asar ni Tims at napairap pa nga sa'kin. Tinawanan ko na lang sila bago nagpaalam at pumunta kay Uno.

"Sorry, natagalan ba?" I asked. Uno chuckled and held my hand then intertwined our fingers bago kinuha 'yung bag ko.

"Beautiful," he uttered. We got inside the car and drove to the nearest mall sa hospital. Naglakad-lakad lang kami, tapos bumili na rin ako ng sticky notes para sa review sessions ko, tapos kumain na lang ng meryenda.

"Uno?"

I squinted my eyes as I look at the girl who approached her—"Irish?" I asked. Ngumiti naman siya at tumango, ngumiti rin naman si Uno. "Hi! How have you been?"

"Ito, working na rin," she said. "I just dropped by to buy stationeries." I nodded.

"Sa'n ka nagtatrabaho?"

Irish smiled, "Sa firm nila Brandi, actually," she said which made me pause for a while. Nagkatinginan naman kami ni Uno saglit. "Oh wait, I have to go na. May client pa within 30 minutes. If you need anything, you can contact me here. Nice to see you!" Ngumiti naman kami at iniabot 'yung card niya bago nagpaalam.

"She landed on a good firm agad, ha," I said. I wasn't sugarcoating my words, if there's one thing that's good in our family, there's the Jerardo&Manumbayao Law Firm.

'Yun lang.

Although I doubt it'd last long—I'm pretty sure they're hiding things there, too.

"I heard she was a topnotcher," Uno said. Napatango na lang ako.

Pagkatapos kong bayaran 'yung mga pinamili ko, umalis na rin kami agad at dumiretso kila Chen since tinawagan siya ni Ali. I was getting anxious kasi may ibabalita raw sila...

"Here," Ali said, pushing a thick brown envelope in front of us. Mabilis na kinuha 'yun ni Uno at binuksan.

It was a conversation...

"My mom was a maid," he said. "We actually visited her grave a couple of hours ago, had a little chit-chat. We had it recorded and transcribed since we can't really keep soft copies. Hard copies are better."

"They killed her... Dad was the Prosecutor of a case wherein she got involved. We still couldn't figure out what this is all about kasi wala naman daw kinekwento 'yung kapatid niya sa kaniya. Ang hirap maglabas ng impormasyon," he added. "The only words he remembered were pinapatay 'yung nanay."

"We're still trying to figure out who's who..."

Uno and I nodded.