Trigger Warning // italicized parts

Contains abuse, rape, and substance use.

This isn't a very detailed depiction of what happened to Brandi, but can still be triggering. Skip if you want to. Doesn't really have much bearing on the plot. 

**

The lights were blinding my eyes so bad. Gusto ko na ring umuwi kasi ang dami na ring wasted sa paligid. Hindi lang ako makaalis kasi baka pagalitan lang ako ni Tita Anna. Wala naman daw kasing klase bukas kaya dito na lang daw muna ako sa private resort nila Fallon since my rooms din naman dito.

Kaso ayaw ko na rito... Nakakatakot sila. Ang wild kasi nilang lahat... hindi ako sanay. Hindi naman ako sheltered; hinahayaan naman ako ni Dad na gawin kung ano'ng gusto ko kasi sabi niya i-enjoy ko naman daw 'yung youth ko, pero kasi mas gusto ko lang talagang mag-aral. Sanay naman akong humaharap sa media, kasi siyempre hindi naman talaga maiiwasan 'yun, pero as much as possible talaga mas gusto ko lang na nasa bahay. Gano'n yata talaga pag INFJ-T ka. Ambivert.

Ang random talaga ng ginagawa ko sa buhay. Sinendan kasi ako ni Zachary ng MBTI Personality test kahapon, scientific naman daw kaya triny ko na lang, tapos 'yun 'yung lumabas. Sumakto naman siya sa personality ko—although 'di siguro siya bragging rights, kasi sabi nila 1.5% lang daw ang INFJ sa mundo, pero ang dami ko namang kakilalang INFJ. Given na siguro talaga si Tims kasi kaya naman talaga kami magkasundo kasi puro lang daw kami aral. Totoo naman.

Kaya ewan ko na lang talaga sa mga nagsasabi na kaya raw matataas ang grades ko kasi takot silang magbigay ng mababa kasi Vice President si lolo ko. Nakakainis din talaga kapag alam mo namang privilege ka... parang kasalanan mo pa lahat ng bagay.

"Not having fun?" Fallon asked before taking a sip from his bottle of beer. Medyo umusog ako palayo kasi ang lakas na ng amoy ng alak sa katawan niya, pero lumapit lang siya ulit kaya hinayaan ko na lang. Pilit na lang akong ngumiti at uminom sa juice ko, pero nagulat na lang ako nang bigla niya akong hinila patayo. "You're my fiancée now, Brandi. Act like you are."

I sighed at nagpahila na lang sa kaniya. They said Fallon has high alcohol tolerance kaya kahit ilan pa'ng inumin niya, mahirap talaga siyang malasing. I noticed that when we went to his friends—he was talking, laughing, and introducing me to them as if he didn't chug bottles of beers.

I was looking for a non-alcoholic drink since ayaw ko talagang umiinom masyado. No'ng nandito pa si Chen, nakakainom ako nang kaunti, kaso umuwi na rin siya kasi may klase pa nga sila bukas. Baliw na 'yun, 15 pa lang pero sanay na sanay na.

"Looking for a drink?" Nginitian ko naman 'yung isang kaibigan ni Fallon no'ng inabutan niya ako ng four seasons. Bartender siya for the party, pero since wala naman nang tao at kami-kami na lang, nasa lounge na lang din siya. "You hate parties? You seem distant," he asked, chuckling.

I shrugged, "I'm used to it naman, but kinda just want to go home na lang din."

"Aw, you could really have some fun, Bran. 'Wag naman puro aral. You're like a walking book now. Chill."

I chuckled, "Sorry," I said.

"Is this like... your first time being with Fallon?"

I nodded, "I mean we see each other sometimes, but this is like the longest time. Can't argue anymore since they just straight up bound us for marriage," I uttered looking at my juice before taking a sip. "This tastes good, ha. I might just hire you for my birthday."

He laughed, "Yeah sure! Just finish it for me. I'll make you another batch." I smiled. We were just talking as I finish my juice, but somehow, I did notice my speech was getting slurry already. At some point I had to make him repeat his sentence because I was getting confused, too...

"Bran? You okay?" I involuntarily laid my head back before dropping the glass I was holding—I wasn't passing out, but it feels like I am. Hindi ko na rin masyadong maigalaw 'yung katawan ko, pero bago pa'ko natumba, nabuhat na'ko no'ng kaibigan ni Fallon. "Fallon, pare. Tangina mo dude, tiba ka dito ha. Baka naman pwede pa-isa."

"Gago lumayo ka nga. Akin lang 'yan," I heard him say before carrying me. I was still aware of my surroundings... and I was already getting aware of what they're doing to me... "Sorry babe if it had to come to this point... You're just so... manang. I just have to do it forcefully since my hook-ups are getting boring."

Why...

I wanted to fight, but I couldn't move... I couldn't even breathe properly. Shouting wouldn't even do anything because they were the only people here, and I doubt their workers here would even try to help if they still want their jobs to feed their families.

I just... cried.

I was just trying my best to stay awake. Fallon entered inside a room—his room, to be exact, and laid me on the bed. I was just crying as he trailed kisses from my neck, and then ripping my gown and my underwear until I was naked.

I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't say anything.

I was scared... and angry... and confused.

"F-Fallon... w-why..."

My vision was already blurry from all the crying, but all I could remember was his smirk before he rammed so hard inside of me that I just passed out.

***

I was raped.

That was the first thought that registered in me when I woke up. I wasn't stupid...

And I couldn't even digest the fact that he let me fall asleep inside this room—white sheets stained with blood that it almost seemed like a murder took place, and he's gone. My clothes were everywhere, I was still naked, and... he was nowhere to be found.

I could remember every detail of that night vividly, like it's purposely etched on my mind to haunt me over and over again—I woke up for a minute, and he was still ramming inside of me while his friends were taking photos.

I couldn't do anything... that one moment where I woke up, my hands and feet were already cuffed.

They... they treated me as if I was just an animal to be feasted on.

I was still crying but I knew I had to leave. Mabilis kong kinuha 'yung damit na nakatiklop sa gilid ko at dahan-dahang naglakad papunta sa banyo. Halos hindi ko na alam kung ano'ng gagawin sa sobrang sakit... napapasigaw na lang ako nang malakas habang nasa ilalim lang ng shower. I was crying... and shouting... and even though I yell in pain because it was just too unbearable...

Everybody here will just turn a blind eye.

Pagkalabas ko ng kuwarto, malinis na 'yung venue. It was squeaky clean... but the sinful things they did to me will forever remain.

Gio was already there. I was limping so hard but I ignored him... I couldn't look at men. It feels like everyone looking at me are violating and harassing me already.

Pakiramdam ko sobrang dumi ko.

"Are you okay, ma'am?"

I stayed silent at kinuha na lang ang earphones ko at nakinig sa music.

It was harder than I thought—hiding, that is. I knew I wasn't the Brandi that everyone knew—the INFJ-T kid just became even more miserable and sad. I just kept up with that for weeks until I couldn't anymore.

"Fallon raped you?"

I nodded, trying to stop the tears from falling. My hands were shaking as I watch Tita Anna talk to someone through the phone.

But just when I thought justice would be served.

The tables turned.

"I'm sorry Brandi..." she said, shaking her head. "Fallon has already fled to New York. But... we can help you recuperate for 2 years, darling."

"H-huh?" I was confused as I look at her, and then two unfamiliar men barged inside her office.

"These are Jay and Dan. I'm sorry Brandi... you have to stay inside the mansion for two years. No buts, no what-ifs. No one has your side here," she said and smiled. Leaving me crying as they lock me up.

They didn't want me to tell other people... they confiscated all of my devices and enrolled me for homeschool.

I was being watched.

And I have never felt unsafe in my entire life.

***

I woke up when someone suddenly barged inside my room. Mabilis akong napabalikwas nang makita si Zachary.

"W-what... what's happening!?" I shouted. "A-ano'ng..."

"Brianna... you told him?"

I paused for a while... he was the only person na sinabihan ko ng nangyari...

"Of course, I'll know Brandi. You can't hide anything from me. You see... your phone calls were recorded," she said. "You lied to me Brianna... and you know what that means," she whispered. "Your friend can die here and we'll set you up..."

"You don't want to go against me..."

She chuckled, "Everyone's against you already, Brianna. You are not a Manumbayao. You are just Lucy Montemayor's daughter." She smirked. "Hold her tight. Just... bring him to the ICU."

I was crying so bad as they torture him in front of me. Nakapikit na lang ako habang umiiyak, hanggang sa tumahimik na lang ang paligid. Pagkabukas ko ng mata, nakatingin lang sa'kin si Zachary—duguan 'yung mukha, halos hindi ko na rin makilala... atsaka ngumiti, bago tuluyang nawalan ng malay.

Nalaman ko na lang na pinalabas nilang nakipagaway siya sa bar... kasi do'n nila siya iniwan...

Hindi ko na alam kung kakayanin ko pa lahat...

"Brianna... anak, I'm sorry," my Dad said and pulled me into a hug. I was crying like a baby as I hug him back. I didn't care about Anna, my lolo, the Juarez', or even the Jerardos' anymore.

I have my Dad.

That's all that matters to me.

"I'm sorry..."

I smiled, "Dad you owe me nothing. Wala kang kasalanan, don't... don't blame yourself. Please."

"I promise I won't let you marry him."

I nodded.

"Thank you, Dad..."

***

"So, your dad knows already?" I nodded and rested my chin on Chen' bed. Ngumiti naman siya. Si Zach naman tinapik 'yung balikat ko.

"You're going to get it now," he said and smiled.

"Those guys almost killed you and you're still smiling?"

Natawa naman si Zach sa sinabi ko, "Well... I got bad publicity which helped the band, tho," he said.

"Baliw."

"Sinabi mo na ba kay Uno?"

I nodded, "I called him while I was on the way here," I uttered.

"How about the wedding?"

I smiled at them.

I stayed for a while bago ako nagpahatid papunta sa bahay ng mga Juarez. God, that place reeks pure evil. How do they even sleep at night?

I greeted them one by one with a beso. Sobrang plastikada talaga ng mga taong 'to.

Pagkarating nila Daddy, dumiretso na kaming lahat sa dining table. I let them do the talking as I quietly enjoy my steak.

They're so done.

"So, Brandi. What are your thoughts, hija?"

I smiled.

"I can't be married."

"I won't let my daughter marry him." Napatingin ako kay Daddy. His eyes were bloodshot... looking at Fallon across the table as if he'd be ready to throw a fit anytime. "I won't let her marry a rapist."

Everyone gasped.

"You all thought I'll never know this?! Pa, you even kept this a secret? For what? For our namesake? Putangina, ginahasa 'yung anak ko tapos wala akong kaalam-alam?!" he shouted, his whole body shaking in anger. Napapikit na lamang ako habang tuloy-tuloy lang ang pagtulo ng luha mula sa mga mata ko. "M-my daughter... She was even scared to tell me anything."

I've never seen him this angry.

"Did you know anything about this, Anna?" she kept quiet.

That was the last straw.

"I want you out of my house."

"B-but that was four years ago... I'm sure they've reconciled. I mean... they were engaged, right?"

"You think just because they were engaged all of a sudden makes him acquitted of his crime, Anna?" he scoffed. "If you don't want to get out of this house, ipapakaladkad kita."

"Babe..."

I sighed, "Dad... just let her be," I said and smiled.

"She's right, it's been four years. Let's just... try to forget it already."

It seemed like Anna's face beamed as she looks at me.

"So, you'll still marry Fallon, hija... 'di ba? Let's all just bury what happened four years ago."

I scoffed.

They just want to bury that? Goodness gracious, I was raped!

"I can't," I said. "I'm already married," I said before flashing them the ring that Uno gave me.