"Don't force yourself, Chen," I said as the stylist fixes her hair into perfection. Ngumiti lang ulit siya, but her eyes said otherwise as she looks at herself directly unto the mirror in front of her. I could see pain... anger, and even the desperation to escape this life that was given to us.

"Will something change if I won't?" she asked. And then it struck me kasi totoo naman, wala kaming magagawa.

I sighed.

Both of us—sobrang lost naming pareho.

I knew how hard this is for Chen. She's always been the free-spirited one. I can't even help myself to think na sobrang useless ko bilang kaibigan at pinsan niya, when all she ever did every time I was so down because of our family, was to cheer me up with random stories just to make me smile.

Tapos ngayon... wala akong magawa. Pareho kaming walang magawa, na kahit sabihin man namin na ayaw namin—what else can we do when other people's lives are at stake?

And even though we try not be scared... nightmares, constant nightmares just keep on visiting us.

And, I can't even believe that they only used Dash to threaten Chen to marry Ali. Kasi alam nila that they can't make her marry him unless they do something against her will, but still even if she's not glad—she'd oblige.

God... I know it sounds stupid but at the same time smart.

What else can I say? They're not the sick rulers of this country if they're not too smart to use their brains. Too smart that they just keep on brainwashing every citizen of this nation. Na parang walang baho na nakatago sa kanila... na parang walang dugong dumanak para lang maprotektahan nila ang gusto nilang protektahan.

Yet, I still can't even imagine how they could even wear such big smiles after hurting Chen. Na behind those smiles, may umiiyak na pala, nagmamakaawa ng kalayaan... pagmamahal.

Patas na mundo.

How heartless.

Siguro nga sa panahong ito... isang biro na lang kapag gusto mong lumaban para sa karapatan mo dahil ultimo sariling bansa, hindi na rin kayang ipaglaban. Na parang dayuhan ka na lang din sa bayang pagmamay-ari mo naman.

"Alam mo kung ako sa'yo, lalayas na lang ako," the stylist said out of the blue, and I could even sense the hint of sadness in her tone. Natawa na lang kami pareho ni Chen.

If only it's as easy as that. E 'di sana ginawa na naming dalawa. Okay pa no'ng mga bata kami—hindi pa kami mulat sa mga nangyayari sa paligid namin, we were just too innocent to know what's going on.

Pero ngayon... sabi nga nila, kapag namulat ka na, kasalanan na ang pumikit.

Ah, maybe that's why people keep on telling me that being kind's sinful too... siguro kasi sinusubukan kong pumikit kahit kailangan kong maging mulat. I keep on trying to move an inch further away from them, not even realizing that I can do nothing else but stay.

Because they'll just keep on doing things to push me away... but pull me back whenever I try to run.

Sobrang... daya.

After Chen' hair was fixed, dumiretso muna kami sa living room ng presidential suite. I couldn't help but to applaud our families with mockery... they really did prepare everything behind Chen's back—even the date of the Wedding was already set which was only a month away!

They really didn't want her to run anywhere anymore. Walang kawala. They literally just gave her free lifetime tickets to hell.

No, it's not a joke.

The Juarez are literal spawns of the Devil. Probably human forms. I don't even know how they always manage to get away from almost anything, aside from that one time when Ali got arrested for over speeding, and Fallon getting caught in a bar scandal after starting a fight with a celebrity—siyempre nakalabas din agad with just one phone call away.

Ugh. The endless power of money—they all think it can buy everything.

Napatingin lang ako kay Chen habang pinagmamasdan niya ang sarili niya sa malaking salamin sa harapan namin. I couldn't help but to admire her golden ballgown embedded with Swarovski jewels which fits her body into perfection. She looked very elegant... but knowing what she feels as of the moment... it's no joke that she feels very wronged.

Like she was being sold in a trade.

"I look pretty, right?" Chen trailed, still looking at herself. I tried to smile... probably the best that I could and nodded my head.

"Very," I said. "You sure with this? We can always run," I said, trying to joke para kahit pa paano mapagaan 'yung atmosphere. It felt very suffocating... sobrang gloomy, I couldn't even find the right words to say para pagaanin ang nararamdaman niya.

Kasi kahit sabihin naman namin na kaya naming tumakbo, saan kami pupunta? Kahit ano'ng gawin wala kaming kawala.

Walang magagawa.

Chen looked at me, "Run?" she said and smiled. "I guess you were right. It was never a choice in the first place. Not for us."

***

Malacañan seemed far from where we stayed, pero parang pakiramdam namin nananadya talaga ang mundo. Sobrang bilis at smooth ng naging biyahe, plus the fact that motorists needed to give way for our vehicle because of the police vehicles and our bodyguards in front of the Limousine we rode in.

Pagkarating na pagkarating namin sa venue, sobrang dami na rin ng tao kahit two hours pa bago magsimula—most of the guests were VIPs—ranging from businessmen to Philippine artists.

And what the actual fuck.

Agad akong napalingon kay Chen to check if she saw him, and I was right—she was looking at the same direction that made me fume in anger. How heartless could they be!? Pumayag na nga si Chen na makipag-break kay Dash, why do they even have to invite them as performers!?

"Chen..."

She smiled, "What?"

I sighed, "I know you saw them."

Her forehead creased, even faking a cackle as she looks straight unto my eyes—maybe trying to tell me that she's not hurt—hiding what she needs to hide, "Who? Dash?" she chuckled, "May kami ba? I already forgot... kasi 'yun naman ang gusto nila 'di ba? Kalimutan ko na lang lahat kahit masakit," she said. "I don't want to make a big deal out of it anymore. Besides, just like what my mom said to me—I'll never be capable of living and loving someone underneath me."

Underneath?

"Chen, snap out of it."

Pero ngumiti lang siya kahit pansin ko na ang pangingilid ng luha sa gilid ng mga mata niya, "I'll just make myself believe that I never loved him," she said. "It's the easiest way out of this pain. Kasi kahit ano'ng gawin ko, hindi kami pwede. Because the day we're born? Our lives aren't ours anymore. It's theirs."

I bit my lip to suppress my tears. As much as I wanted to cry in front of Chen, mas ginusto ko pang ipakita sa kaniya na dapat matapang kami. That Politics may have taken our whole life away from us as our own treasures, we still have each other's back.

Always.

Something they never did.

Tahimik na lang kaming pumunta ng Music room ng Malacañan na nagsisilbing reception area habang hinihintay ang formal start ng event. I even wanted to leave when I saw Ali and Fallon talking to several young business tycoons, holding glasses of champagne and laughing.

Sobrang. . . mali.

Bakit kaya nilang tumawa kahit hirap na hirap na kami? Ano ba'ng meron sa mga Juarez at kahit mga pamilya namin pakiramdam namin, niluluhuran sila?

Why do we always need to suffer in the hands of other people?

Hanggang kailan nila kami hahawakan sa leeg? Hanggang sa maisipan na lang ba naming higpitan ang pagkakahawak nila? Hanggang sa isipin na lang namin na tapusin na lang ang lahat?

Kasi sobrang...

Sobrang nakakapagod.

Chen sat beside me—maybe trying her best to contain her emotions.

And they say we're very lucky to be part of this clan.

When they actually don't know that. . . maybe we are one of the sacrificial lambs for the sake of the freedom of the whole nation.

In exchange, kami 'yung hindi malaya. Nakagapos.

Kinukulong sa walang katapusang ideya ng pagmamahal sa pamilya kahit ang paulit-ulit na isinusukli sa'min ay sakit.

"Just don't look at them," I said, giving her a glass of mocktail. Chen tried to smile as she stares on the content of the glass of champagne flute that she was holding, sighing for several times before taking a sip.

"I'm such an idiot," I heard Chen whispering, holding the glass so tight that I got afraid it might break in her palm. I reached for her other hand, gently squeezing it as I try my best to smile.

"You'll get through this, Chen," I said. "You're the strongest person I've ever known. Please... just don't give up."

Chen smiled.

"Promise you'll be there for me?"

I smiled.

"I promise."

Habang tahimik na umiinom si Chen ay nagulat ako nang biglang mag-ring ang phone ko sa loob ng hawak-hawak kong purse, I excused myself and immediately went to the nearest comfort room before answering the call.

"Zach," I said, releasing a sigh of relief. "H-how's Dash?"

Zach's breathings were heavier than the usual, and I couldn't even do anything to help my friends who have always been there for me, "Ano'ng meron, Brandi? The Presidential Spokesperson invited us to play for an intermission."

I froze. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang sabihin kay Zach kung ano talagang meron ngayong gabi, I couldn't even think of proper words to say just to not hurt Dash in any possible way.

Pero may magagawa pa ba'ko?

Kahit naman subukan kong itago, malalaman pa rin niya.

But sometimes... it's worth the risk.

"Uuwi ba kayong maaga?" I asked, my lips quivering as I wait for Zachary's response from the other line.

"Ayaw nila, e... Tapusin daw namin, tsaka hindi naman kami sa umpisa, Harmonya ng UP daw ang una, e. Nairita nga si Uno, e. Kailangan niyang magbasa, e 'di ba malapit na pasukan?"

I closed my eyes as I lean on one of the cubicles, trying my best to fight the urge to cry—as much as I wanted to save Dash from the pain. . . Maybe I really couldn't do anything about it.

Most of the times... we just have to face the fate that's been given to us. Even if it was manipulated at the very beginning.

Because how... how can we even face life if we can't even face our faceless defeats?

"Y-You'll know," I said, stuttering—endless sobs escaping from my mouth, and even though I try to suppress it, it just... goes on and on.

"Brandi... bakit ka umiiyak? Where are you?"

I shook my head, "They will not give you any permission na pumasok... just don't worry about me, I'm okay, okay? Just... please. Do great, Zachary—you and the rest of your band," I said, finally regaining my composed self. "Tell Dash... that whatever he's gonna witness tonight, tell him to stay strong... to be brave... because if it's gonna hurt for him, what more for Chen?"

Before Zach could even respond, in-end ko na kaagad 'yung tawag at napasandal na lang ulit sa dingding ng cubicle. I couldn't even think properly—paulit-ulit lang akong napapatanong ng bakit? What benefit do they get from torturing us over and over again?

"Ma'am Brandi, the event will start within ten minutes. Pinapatawag na po kayo." Napairap ako upon hearing my Lolo's Secretary's voice outside of the cubicle I was in.

I calmed myself first, trying to control my heavy breathings, "Susunod na lang ako," I said. "I'll just retouch." I waited until the comfort room's door closed bago ako nakalabas ng cubicle. My face wasn't exactly a mess, but my eyes would definitely give clues that I did cry kaya inayos ko na lang kahit pa paano. When I was already satisfied with how I looked, lumabas na rin ako ng comfort room at naabutan kong wala na ring tao sa loob ng Music room, kaya dumireto na ako sa Rizal Ceremonial Hall.

Cameras were quick to spot me as they take numerous shots while walking on the red carpet, I tried to smile as I fasten my pace—I never wanted the attention, but I guess, I can never escape it. And as soon as I entered the Ceremonial Hall, the President was already taking a step forward towards the podium in front of the crowd. Securities escorted me towards the table intended for the Manumbayao clan, smiling a little as I walk past my friends—Uno nodding his head a little.

"Hello my favorite granddaughter," Lola greeted, kissing both of my cheeks as I sit beside Anna, who's just really good at pretending that she likes me when the Manumbayao's already knew for a fact that she never did like me.

Funny.

The President started to deliver his well-written speech—apparently, it was also the celebration of the President's Day which gave me even the slightest creeps I could ever feel. They were really quick to plan it all, I mean—who would even dare to stop the President's daughter from getting engaged in front of Live television covered by CNN?

I sighed, shaking my head to ease the tension that I was feeling—even throwing quick glances at Chen who was just at the next table. She was barely smiling, even I, knew for a fact that they weren't even genuine at all.

As the President's speech gets nearer and nearer to its end, my hands started to feel cold. I was shivering in fear... in nervousness.

In anger.

Kasi wala akong magawa kundi umupo lang dito at makinig. My tears would not even help even if I'd be able to produce a river.

We were just so helpless.

The President's smile grew bigger as he holds unto his champagne flute, raising it in the air, asking for everyone to do the same.

"As this speech comes to an end, I would like to share a toast with you—as I announce my daughter's engagement with one of my loyal kumares' son—" He laughed in glee as everyone started to whisper to each other, asking if who might it be and maybe even how lucky they would be for being in-laws with the President, and then followed by another batch of silence, waiting for the President's next words. "Alfonso Isaiah Juarez and Chen, let's toast!"

The Hall was filled with a round of applause as Ali and Chen march their way to the front and then, clanking their champagne flutes against the President's. They were all smiles as different media outlets take their places in taking pictures of the families together—and the soon-to-be-wedded couple.

And as if taunting Dash after hearing the news wasn't already enough—they even had them play Mundo during an impromptu dance between Ali and Chen in which they both obliged. I couldn't help but stare at Dash, the edges of his eyes swelling as he tries to fight the urge of the tears.

And when they finished playing, Uno immediately left his spot as Zach delivers his congratulatory messages for the President—only to find him in front of me, hands shaking.

"Brandi," he said. "I think we need to talk," he added before grabbing my wrist and pulling me away, I immediately signaled my bodyguards to allow us to pass through the doors—and maybe Anna, too, wanted to see a show.

"Brianna Andi," he whispered, breathings heavier than the usual. Hawak-hawak pa rin niya ang kamay ko nang makarating kami sa labas ng Malacañan, parang walang balak bitiwan habang nakatingin siya nang diretso sa mga mata ko.

"Tell me... you know they're gonna marry you off with Fallon, too, right?"

I froze. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin... I suddenly got scared upon the realizations hitting me.

They almost married me off to Fallon... it's no surprise anymore if they'd do it again.

They already did it to Chen.

They won't stop now.

Tears started to fall down from my eyes as I stare back at Uno's eyes. Napahawak na lang ako nang mahigpit sa laylayan ng suot-suot niyang tuxedo, wala pa ring maisip na sabihin. Pakiramdam ko unti-unti akong tinatakasan ng bait.

"A-ayoko... Uno," bulong ko sa kaniya habang wala pa ring tigil ang pagtulo ng luha mula sa mga mata ko, hanggang sa naramdaman ko na lang ang mga kamay niya sa magkabilang pisngi ko.

He caressed my cheeks using his thumb, wiping away every single tear.

Uno smiled—a genuine one.

"Just tell me, Brandi," he said. "Just tell me that you'll be willing. Whatever the odds may be—even if I had to sacrifice my life, I swear... I'll get you out of here."