"Teka, teka Alex," hinihingal na sambit ko dahilan para mapatigil sa paglalakad si Alex. Naipatong ko na lang ang kamay ko sa tuhod ko habang sinusubukang huminga nang maayos. Why the heck would she even bring me to the rooftop nang gano'n-gano'n lang!? I mean, I would have voluntarily come with her naman if she said so.

"Sorry," sambit ni Alex bago ako inabutan ng isang bote ng tubig. I immediately got it from her hand and emptied it in one gulp. I was still panting when I heard footsteps behind me, only to realize that my bodyguards followed us.

I sighed.

"Sorry," I mouthed. Ngumiti lang si Alex.

"Ma'am Brandi." I raised my right hand, waving it for a bit nang akmang hawakan nila si Alex. Agad naman silang lumayo kay Alex, but she remained stoic. Nakatingin lang siya sa'kin, naghihintay siguro ng tamang tiyempo.

"I know her," I said, lying. I just didn't want this to reach my family kasi sigurado akong makakaabot din ito sa pamilya ni Ali.

And if Chen was telling the truth about them... then this will put Ali and Alex's life in danger.

I don't want any of that anymore. God! Kailan ba matatapos 'to!?

"Protocol," Gio said. "No one should pull away the Vice President's granddaughter without our knowledge, mostly if we don't identify the person, Ma'am."

I sighed, "You don't have to worry. Hindi naman ako namatay 'di ba?" I said, trying to sound convincing, or probably funny kasi sobrang random na lang yata ng death threats na pakiramdam ko, I could just freely joke about it. Magsasalita pa sana si Gio, pero tinitigan ko na lang siya at ngumiwi nang bahagya. "Just don't let the others know. Promise, this would be the last time."

Gio stayed silent for a couple of minutes before he took a deep breath in, "We'll stay behind the door. Call us if you need help." Tumango na lang agad ako at hinintay muna na makaalis sila sa tabi namin. Napa-buntonghininga na lang ako at napatingin kay Alex.

Ngumiti ulit siya.

"Chen must have told you already," she said as she walks towards the railings. Agad ko naman siyang sinundan at napatingin na lang sa lawak ng school grounds. Napapangiti nang bahagya no'ng makita kong magkakasama sina Zachary at Sofia sa kabilang building. I watch them smile, stealing glances whenever the other one's looking the other way and then laugh about it before I looked up.

It was probably the first time this year that I was able to properly look up to the sky... Sa sobrang dami ng nangyayari, minsan hindi ko na rin alam i-appreciate 'yung mga maliliit na bagay.

I was just too caught with everything that's happening, that I already forgot about these little things that used to be my happiness.

Hay.

"It's nice to see them happy, right?" I looked at Alex who was just looking down before she faced me. She smiled. "You know how it feels? When sometimes someone else's happiness depends on you? That being selfish isn't a choice... because still, at the end of the day... pare-pareho lang din naman kayong masasaktan."

And then it hit me.

The realization hit me...

It's so nice to see them smile, that I'm already scared to see them sad because of me... or my family.

Napatalikod na lang si Alex at napasandal sa railings, napapapikit nang kaunti nang biglang humangin nang malakas sa parte namin. Alex stayed silent for couple of minutes habang nakatingin lang ako sa gawi nila Zachary.

"You don't have to worry," Alex said, breaking the silence that enveloped us which almost felt like years. "They won't harm them... they can't harm them." My lips parted.

"What do you mean?"

Alex smiled, "You'll know why, soon," she said. "Chen... told you about Ali and me... right?"

I nodded at napasandal na lang din sa railings. Napatitig na lang ako sa sapatos ko habang hinihintay magsalita si Alex.

"Nobody knows about me and Alex," she trailed. I raised my head and noticed that her hand was shaking, kaya agad kong hinawakan 'yun. She looked at me, the corners of her eyes swelling as tears start to pool.

She smiled.

"I know long stories are supposed to be boring, so I'll make it short for you. Ali and I have been together for five years already," she said. "But he promised... that one day he'll be free from the family that adopted him. And I wouldn't get this awful treatment from their family anymore. You see... they don't want others to know about Ali and I, that's the only way for us to be free. What's free in there, anyway?"

Alex bitterly smiled, "You know... he hates them so much that he tried to rebel against them... only for him to be manipulated by Fallon," she said. "It's disgusting to hear from Ali, that he was almost framed up for doing what Fallon did to you if you didn't speak... I'm sure that... that screwed up guy will do everything just to get rid of his adopted brother. But of course, he can't. Nobody even knows that Ali Juarez is an adopted son."

Napapikit ako. There was just too much information coming from Alex... I didn't want to believe it, but everything seems to make sense.

"Haven't you noticed? Si Ali lang 'yung laging marami ang filed reports sa police, but he'd just get away from it, too, because Franchesca seemed to love their family name so much... but Ali would end up getting beaten up," she said, looking at me intently. "And when... when you were kept inside the mansion, he was jailed."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko, "W-what?"

"Franchesca didn't even do anything for months... kasi kapag pinaimbistigahan ang nangyari, madadawit din si Fallon sa nangyari, lalabas ang lahat... it went to trial but it ended immediately without anyone helping Ali... pinatagal lang nila na wala si Fallon sa bansa bago nila inayos, because the media already had a tip from several people that a Juarez got jailed—imagine a family portraying that they're good, and they're against drugs, but a son got jailed for possessing drugs, ang ironic 'di ba? Franchesca just got scared of getting exposed. Brandi, for all I know, Franchesca really wanted Ali to stay behind bars if the media wasn't involved," she said.

"The drugs... they found it on his bedroom, ang weird lang is because Fallon was tipping his mom about the drugs on his room, if he's telling everyone that no drugs were involved. And I know Ali, I know he seems so much fucked because of everything's that happening with him and the Juarez, but he'll never do such thing, Brandi... Fallon framed him up. That guy, he's just so full of bullshit."

My lips parted.

Bakit walang nagsabi sa'kin nito?

Why did they keep me in so much darkness?

Ali and Fallon. They're not close. I have never seen them together as brothers, maybe if not for political matters, they would not even budge talking with each other... Ali always keeps distant from his brother.

Bakit ngayon ko lang napansin? Was I... was I minding my own pain too much, that I never even saw that someone's struggling too?

"If you don't... if you still don't believe me. I brought Ali's case file. His DNA results... because, believe me or not, Ali wants to help you," she said. "And that he's sorry whenever he's there and he couldn't do anything when his brother's hurting you... he was scared that I might die," she chuckled.

"He doesn't even know I'm choosing death already," she whispered.

I closed my eyes. Tears started to fall down from my eyes. Ni hindi ko alam kung naintindihan ko ba talaga lahat ng sinabi ni Alex...

Alex held my hand, "If ever something happens after this... it's not your fault. It's my choice to help Ali. It's also my choice to keep you out of the dark now. Marami kang kalaban Brandi, and this isn't just the whole truth... you'll find out more soon... most especially about your mom."

I looked at her, tears still falling from my eyes. Ngumiti siya at iniabot sa'kin ang isang makapal ng brown envelope, "Don't... don't let anyone know that I gave this to you," she said. "Even when Franchesca asks you, keep your mouth shut."

My forehead creased, "W-why?"

"They cannot follow me here because of your bodyguards, but I intend to give this to a Lawyer whom they trust. I will give him a separate copy of these official documents," she warned.

"Why do you even have these?"

She smiled, "I stole them," she replied, sweetly. My lips parted. Natawa naman siya sa naging reaksyon ko, "How I stole them, it doesn't matter anymore. I left tracks that I stole it para ako ang habulin nila. They wouldn't think of you, anyway. They know how much you hate the Juarez. Ako lang ang paghihinalaan nila."

"Alex... this is suicide..."

Ngumiti lang siya.

"I know," she said.

I sighed. "But... anyway, you'll give them back another copy, right? You'll be safe then..."

Alex chuckled, "People who know the truth are never safe, Brandi," she replied. "It's my choice, anyway." She smiled before she went inside of the building, but it didn't hide the sadness that registered in her eyes.

Napatitig na lang ako sa hawak kong envelope at inilagay sa bitbit kong bag bago pumasok ulit.

Wow.

The Juarez' are so screwed up.

"Pakisundan si Alex," I asked one of my bodyguards. "Make sure she'll get home safe, please..."

Gio sighed before he nodded. Nginitian ko na lang siya bago bumaba ng rooftop. I was beyond glad na wala na kaming pasok. Napapikit na lang ako at napahinto sa paglalakad. Napaupo na lang ako sa may hallway, walang pakialam kung may nakatingin man sa akin, o kung nasa likuran ko lang 'yung mga bodyguards ko.

"Ma'am..." I raised my right hand.

"Please... please hayaan niyo na lang muna ako," I said in between of my sobs. Iyak lang ako nang iyak, ni hindi ko na nga alam kung bakit baa ko umiiyak. Siguro kasi ang dami na namang nangyayari... siguro kasi masiyado kong pinalala 'yung disgusto ko kay Ali kahit hindi ko alam na may ganito palang nangyayari sa kanila ng pamilya niya.

God, they're not even worthy to be called his family.

When I thought Alfonso Isaiah's just as worse as his brother... Na no'ng mga panahong iniisip naming lahat na totoo 'yung mga kaso ng abuso na muntik ng isampa sa kaniya.

Lahat 'yun kagagawan lang pala ni Fallon.

The hell... lahat kami pinaikot-ikot lang nila...

Ano pa'ng hindi ko alam? Ano'ng meron kay mama?

Ang gulo... mas lalo lang gumulo...

Napapikit na lamang ako habang tahimik na umiiyak. I just didn't care about people who would see me on my lowest state anymore...

"Brandi..." I raised my head to see who called for my name. My eyes were pooled with tears, but I automatically smiled upon realizing that it was Uno in front of me.

"Uno..." He crouched in front of me and cupped both of my cheeks, wiping away the tears falling from my eyes using his thumb.

He sighed, "Shit, Brandi. I hate you," he whispered. "Mukha tayong tanga rito."

Natawa naman ako sa sinabi niya, "E 'di umalis ka," sambit ko, humihikbi pa rin. Napasimangot naman si Uno at inalalayan ako para makatayo.

"Ba't ka umiiyak?"

Umiling lang ako.

"Stubborn," bulong niya at pinitik ang noo ko. "Next time, don't do that again. Tinakot mo'ko."

Sinimangutan ko siya, "Hindi naman ako namatay, baliw."

He glared at me, "Hintayin mo pang mamatay ka?"

Tinawanan ko siya.

Uno sighed, "But still, I promise I won't let anyone harm you in any way," he said. "Not on my watch, Brandi."

***

I didn't want to go home yet kaya isinama na lang ako ni Uno sa gig nila sa Vertis North. Ayaw ko pa sanang sumama, pero ipinilit pa niya kaya tinawagan pa talaga ni Gio 'yung mall para mas lalong higpitan ang security measures since magiging crowded.

Pagkarating namin sa Vertis, rinig na rinig ko na 'yung sigaw ng mga fans nila. 'Yung iba tinatawag din ako, kaya nginitingitian ko na lang. Pakiramdam ko sobrang frustrated na ni Gio sa'kin sa sobrang dami ko biglang kalokohan the past few days.

Ako rin naman

Nakaka-frustrate na rin.

"Alam ba ni Lolo na nandito ako?" tanong ko kay Gio nang makapasok kami sa tent, tumango naman siya. "What did he say?"

"He allowed it, ma'am, as long as the security's maximized." I smiled and nodded.

"Brandi!" I waved my hand when Zachary and Sofia entered the tent, sumunod naman sila Kuya Kirk at Ate Addie, tapos si Dash kasama 'yung kapatid niya. "Musta first day?"

Sinimangutan ko si Zach, "Para namang 'di ka nanggulo kanina." Natawa naman sila Sofia sa sinabi ko. Kung anu-ano pa ang pinagkwentuhan nila bago lumabas sila Zachary para i-check 'yung area. Dash stayed and sat beside me, smiling.

"Is Chen okay?"

Ngumiti ako, "She's fine," I said. "You'll... you'll come to her wedding, right?"

Dash chuckled, "Baka sapakin ako ni Ali kapag hindi," nakangiting sabi niya. "Sinabi na ba sa'yo ni Chen?"

I nodded, slightly bringing out the envelope from my bag.

"Nabasa mo na?"

I shook my head. Tapos bigla kong naalala si Alex, right on cue, biglang pumasok 'yung bodyguard ko na pinasunod ko kay Alex.

"Did you find her?"

He nodded.

"Nakausap ko po, Ma'am. Pero ang sabi niya 'wag ko siyang sundan, baka ikaw daw po ang mapahamak." Napayuko naman siya dahilan para mapa-buntonghininga ako.

God...

If something happens to Alex, I'd be damned my whole life...

"Sabi pa po niya... 'wag ninyo raw pong ipahamak ang sarili niyo para sa kaniya kasi 'yun naman po ang pinili niya."

I closed my eyes, my jaw clenching in anger.

Hanggang ngayon... wala pa rin ako magawa para sa ibang tao.

Am I selfish?

Pinalabas ko na 'yung bodyguard ko at napaupo na lang. I felt Dash's hand on top of my shoulder.

"Dash... if something happens to Alex, hindi ko na talaga alam," I said. "Hindi ko na kakayanin 'yun..."

He remained silent.

Napatingin ako kay Dash, "What if..."

Napailing si Dash at ngumiti nang bahagya, "You don't always blame yourself for their own choices, Brandi..." he trailed. "It's what they chose."

I bit my lip.

"It's not your fault," he said. "It's not your fault that you belong in a family where everything is not free, and life may be the only way to pay the price of your choices." Dash smiled bitterly and pulled me into a hug, tapping my back to calm me down.

I smiled, "Thank you, Dash..." I whispered and broke the embrace. "You don't regret letting go of Chen?"

He shook his head, "As long as I know that Ali will respect her the way she should be respected, then I know she's in good hands," he said. "But once he dares to hurt her, I will never think twice of hurting him."

Sabay na kaming lumabas ng tent ni Dash dahil magsisimula na rin 'yung gig. Napangiti na lang ako nang makita ko kung gaano karami 'yung mga manonood sa kanila.

"You okay here?" I looked at Gio and nodded my head. Napatango naman siya at tumayo na lang sa likuran ko. Napansin ko rin na mas dumami ang security sa bawat pwesto.

Hanggang sa napansin ko si Irish na napalilibutan din ng security detail. They were trying to stop her from coming, but she pushed herself through.

"Why is she here?" I whispered to myself. But still, I chose to ignore it at nilipat na lang ang pansin sa stage no'ng lumakas na ang tilian. I smiled at them, waving my hand when Uno looked at me.

The gig lasted for almost an hour, pero hindi ko napigilang mapansin ang pagiiba ng reaksyon ni Uno nang mapagawi ang tingin niya sa pwesto nila Irish.

"Uno..." I called him, pero nilagpasan niya lang ako. Agad akong sumunod sa kaniya hanggang sa makapasok kami ng tent. Hindi ako nagsalita at napaupo na lang sa may gilid habang nakatingin lang sa malayo si Uno, tulala. Nagulat na lang ako nang biglang pumasok si Irish.

"Uno," she trailed. "Akala ko ba okay na tayo? What happened? Bakit biglang ganito na naman?"

Uno stared at her, but Irish didn't back down.

"Ano ba'ko sa'yo?" she whispered, her voice breaking. "Uno, ano ba'ko sa'yo!? One second you were with me, sobrang saya naman natin! How dare you leave me hanging like this!? How dare you leave me hanging like this!?" Irish's eyes were flooded with tears already, and I knew I would sound like an antagonistic bitch if I'd interrupt Irish kahit biglang pakiramdam ko ay kating-kati na'kong hilahin siya palabas ng tent. God, wala ba siyang pakialam sa mga tao sa labas!?

Silence enveloped the two of them. Nagulat ako nang bigla niyang hinila si Irish palayo. He looked surprised and angry... and I couldn't even describe what he was thinking that time.

We all stayed silent, even when Irish got back to the tent to pick up her purse. She didn't even say a word when our eyes met—just when I thought she'd stir up another scandal for Pete's sake... but she just smiled at me, pain registered in her eyes, and walked out of the tent. She did not even mind that I was there—shoulder's down, tears still streaming down her face, as if the whole world's weight was given to her as her own burden.

I sighed.

"Uno?"

"Get out." Nabigla ako sa sinabi niya, kaya tinawag ko siya ulit. Nakatalikod lang siya sa akin, nakayuko.

"Sabi ko umalis ka na 'di ba?"

My lips parted.

"A-ano..."

"Brandi, please... just let me breathe," he calmly said, but his voice felt cold. Lumabas na lang agada ko—and I've never felt suffocated inside a large area before.

Ngayon lang.

Sa harapan niya.

"Ba't ka umiiyak?" Nagulat ako no'ng lumapit sa'kin si Dash dahilan para mapakapa ako sa pisngi ko.

Bakit... bakit nga ba ako umiiyak?

Napa-buntonghininga na lang si Dash at ibinigay sa'kin 'yung panyo niya bago ngumiti, "Ang gulo niyo ni Uno. Pero intindihin mo na lang 'yun, nagagalit lang 'yun sa sarili niya."

"Bakit?"

Natawa ito, "Maiintindihan mo rin iyan," sambit niya at tinapik ang braso ko, pero bago pa siya makapasok sa loob, biglang lumapit sa'kin si Gio.

"Ma'am, Miss Jerardo's at the hospital right now."