I was shaking in fear the moment Zachary got up, holding Fallon's hand and then pushing it upwards just right before he was able to pull the gun's trigger—which had no bullets in. Napakuyom na lang ako ng kamao habang nakatingin lang kay Fallon.

Oh God...

Why... why are they so scary?

Fallon grinned, "You could've died, huh," he said, trying to stop himself from laughing—but still, he eventually did. "I'd kill you somewhere else, Benitez. Not here."

"S-stop..." I whispered. "Fallon please, tigilan mo naman na ako... Four years na nga 'di ba? Ilang taon ako kinulong ni Anna, two years? Two years na rin akong walang kibo sa lahat ng nangyari, Fallon. Bakit ba takot na takot ka?"

His jaw clenched, "Because I know how impulsive you are, Brandi," he said. "Don't you realize? You were impulsive on trusting your stepmother..." he chuckled. "I'm the only person who'd be able to shut your impulsiveness, Brandi. That's why your mom wants you by my side. We don't want any problems with Brandi's impulsiveness and your family's politics, right?"

Anna kept mum; she was just watching us like we're in a theater who're supposed to entertain her. I wanted to strangle her so bad, pero sobrang hinang-hina na'ko... sobrang daming nangyayari. Gusto ko na lang magising kung binabangungot ako. Kasi sobrang nakakapagod...

Fallon tried to move forward but Zachary immediately went between the two of us, stretching his left arm sideward, his eyes—filled with anger, "Leave her alone."

He smirked, "Trying to be a hero again, Dominique Zachary Bustamante. Mind you, the last time you tried playing hero... you almost died." Zach's jaw clenched pero nanatili pa rin siyang nakatayo sa harapan ko para harangan si Fallon. "Come on... give yourselves a break. The cards are all stacked against all of you. There's nothing you can do."

"Fallon, pwede ba? Tigilan mo na lang," sambit ni Zach. "Tahimik naman lahat, e. Wala ka namang narinig sa aming lahat... ano ba'ng gusto mo?"

"Simple..." Lumapit nang kaunti si Fallon, pero nanatali pa ring nakaharang si Zachary. Napakuyom na lang ako ng kamao... shit lang. I wanted Zachary out of this the most, pero bakit laging siya 'yung napapahamak nang dahil lang sa'kin!? "I want Brandi to marry me."

"She can't... you already heard her. Ayaw niya." Fallon let out a loud and mocking laugh, dahilan para mas matakot ako. Zachary tightened his grip on my right hand habang nakaharang pa rin siya sa'kin. "Bakit hindi niyo maintindihan 'yun?"

"Zach... please lang..."

Zach smiled, "You can't always be scared, Brandi," he whispered back.

"You look so tough, Benitez. I wonder what would you feel if I tell you that I can kill your fiancée... any minute right now?" Nakita ko kung paano biglang nagbago ang emosyon ng mukha ni Zach pagkarinig pa lang no'n. The corner of his eyes started to water, but he remained stoic as he stares at Fallon. His hands started to shiver, and all I could do was hold it tighter.

Ito na naman ako, walang magawa.

Fallon... Fallon can kill Sofia. Hindi man niya alam kung nasaan siya ngayon, alam kong gagawa at gagawa siya ng paraan para lang matunton kung nasaan ito ngayon.

When it comes to the Juarez.... There's just nothing impossible. Their words are sharper than the law. They can do anything they want and still get away with it.

They're just that... scary.

And I know I'm far more superior than them, but every time they're in front of me, they make me feel less than I am and should be. Na inferior ako sa kanila. Na apo man ako ng Bise Presidente ng Pilipinas, wala pa rin akong kapangyarihan laban sa kanila.

Kasi hawak din nila sa leeg ang pamilya namin. At hanggang ngayon... hindi ko alam kung bakit, kung paano.

Ang alam ko lang.... natatakot ako.

"Anna... please lang," I voiced out. "Leave us alone already... tahimik naman lahat... I won't do something out of my impulsiveness kasi hindi ako katulad ninyo, na walang pakialam sa nararamdaman ng ibang tao. Kasi para sa'kin? Mas uunahin ko na ang mga kaibigan ko kaysa sa sarili ko..."

Anna remained silent... hanggang sa nagsalita ulit si Fallon.

"Bakit, Brandi? Bakit ayaw mo sa'kin?"

I scoffed, "Who would want a criminal like you, Fallon?"

Zachary immediately contacted Uno after that incident with Fallon—agad naman siyang dumiretso do'n sa café na malapit sa bahay namin dahil dumiretso naman si Zach kina Sofia... sobrang gulo na ng lahat. Pakiramdam ko mas lalo ko lang siyang ginalit dahil sa sinabi ko, I should've just controlled my feelings... tama sila. Masiyado akong impulsive.

Napapikit na lang ako.

"Ayos ka lang?" Uno asked, concern was written all over his face... and I couldn't help but to smile upon seeing him the moment I saw him inside the café a few minutes back. Magulo ang lahat... sobra. But Uno... he was just a breath of fresh air. Na kahit pa paano, may breather pa rin pala ako sa screwed up reality ko.

I sighed, "Nakakapagod, Uno..." I said. "The least I would want to happen is dealing with Fallon... Minsan naiisip ko na lang na siguro gawin ko na lang 'yung gusto ni Fallon, kasi alam ko naman na kahit ilang beses ko pa siyang tanggihan, basta sabihin lang ni Lolo na gawin ko 'yun... wala akong magagawa. Ayaw ko nang matakot, pero lagi akong pinapangunahan. Pakiramdam ko wala na akong kontrol sa sarili ko, Uno... gusto ko na lang sumuko."

Nagulat ako nang biglang hawakan ni Uno ang kamay ko na nakapatong lang sa lamesa, na na-realize niya rin agad dahilan para bumitiw siya... only to realize that I wanted to hold his hand.

But I can't.

I can't... cross boundaries I've already set between the both of us.

"Can I ask... bakit ikaw nakakahindi kay Fallon, samantalang si Chen..."

I bit my lip, "I don't want you to hate the President..."

Uno chuckled, "I already do, Brandi. There's nothing you can do about it."

I chuckled.

"The President... he never really favored Chen the moment she told them na ayaw niya sa Politika... that she'd rather kill herself than involve herself in the political matters of our family. Sure, she's a legitimate daughter of the President and the First Lady, unlike me... pero kasi... the President likes the power so much that he could even sell his own daughter for the sake of taking care of our names that they have been grooming for the past decades," I explained.

"And you know what happened to me, right? Sa side rin kasi ng mga Manumbayao, ako lang din 'yung babaeng apo... Lolo knows what happened to me four years ago, and he guaranteed me that I will have the power over my marriage with Fallon. But the moment I break their promise that nothing will ever come out about what happened four years ago, I will be forced to marry him... and they will distort every news about me and Fallon. They'll do that to protect the Juarez—to protect their image, too. Sa ngayon... pakiramdam ko nanggugulo lang talaga si Fallon... walang magawa. Kasi, alam mo 'yun... gano'n siya kagago," I said, laughing. Nagawa ko pa talagang magbiro.

Inevitable naman. My life's a joke.

Uno scoffed, "What's with the Juarez? Why do they protect these assholes so much?"

I smiled.

"That... I also do not know," I said. "Our clan? We have so many secrets... Pretty morbid... and scary. Ayaw ko na lang din alamin ang lahat."

Uno chuckled, "It's inevitable, Brandi. Tsaka, paano ka gigising kung ayaw mong magpamulat sa katotohanan?" he said, adjusting his eyeglasses. "Lahat naman tayo may takot, pero hanggang saan mo dadalhin 'yang takot na 'yan?"

I kept mum. May tama siya, may punto siya... kaso ang hirap din kasing magdesisyon kapag takot ka... kapag natatakot ka para sa buhay ng ibang tao.

"Huwag mong alagaan 'yang takot na 'yan, Brandi. Kasi mas lalong lalaki 'yan, mas lalo ka lang lalamunin niyan hanggang sa mabuhay ka na lang sa pangamba, sa takot... sa pagkaduwag," sambit niya bago ngumiti nang bahagya.

"Iniisip ko lang naman kayo..."

Napa-buntonghininga naman si Uno, "Walang mangyayari kung puro ibang tao na lang ang iniisip mo, Brandi. Alam kong sinasabi rin sa'yo 'to ni Zach, o ni Chen. Isipin mo rin 'yung kapakanan mo. Kasi kung magpapadala ka sa takot dahil ayaw mo kaming mapahamak, baka mas lalo lang tayong mapahamak lahat. Ilaban mo. Kasi kapag 'yan lumabas na sa korte... wala na silang magagawa. Malakas ang laban mo, Brandi. Malakas din ang ebidensya sa panig mo."

I tried to smile. Muntik ko pa tuloy makalimutan na Law student ang kaharap ko ngayon, "Anything can be distorted when you have the power, Uno," I said. "Oo, I want to fight... pero hindi sila patas lumaban. Kaya nilang baliktarin lahat ng pwede nilang mabaligtad. Pwede nilang patayin lahat ng pwede nilang mapatay, and still get away with it because... that's how money works, that's how power silences."

"Pero hindi lahat, nabibili ng pera," sambit nito. "And money will never return what was lost in you, Brandi. Tandaan mo 'yan."

Ngumiti ako, "I may have lost a lot... but in the end, I never lost my friends," I said. "Kayo na lang 'yung pag-asa ko mabuhay, Uno... I can never lose any one of you."

Uno paused.

"You're losing Chen already, Brandi," he trailed. "As long as the Juarez are in power—holding a leash on your family's neck, they'll continue to rob everything away from you. So, think, Brandi... hindi lahat ng bagay kaya mong idaan sa takot, kasi baka mas mawalan ka lang din..."

Saglit akong napatitig kay Uno... Pakiramdam ko natatauhan ako. It was only him who made me realize that I'm losing Chen to the Juarez already. To think na ginamit din nilang panakot sa kaniya ang mga kaibigan ko.

That's what they're good at. Blackmailing. They're using every single thing that makes us happy against us. Kasi alam nila kung ano'ng kahinaan namin, alam nila na... kaya naming isuko lahat ng pagkakataon just to save their lives.

They're making us think that it's our burden to carry.

Nakakatakot kasi hindi naman talaga dapat ako matakot sa kanila...

"Brandi..." I came back to my senses nang tawagin ako ni Uno. Ngumiti lang siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko... this time, he didn't let go—he even held my hand tighter. "You're strong... Heck, you're one of the strongest people that I know. I know you can do it. Fight for yourself, fight for what you think is right..."

Ngumiti ako.

"Right time," I said.

Uno chuckled, "Hihintayin mo ba'ko maging abogado mo?"

Ngumiti ako.

"You're my anchor, Uno Sanchez. Despite of everything that's happening, you're still there to make me stronger," I said. "So, I'll wait... for that right time to come where both of us can fight a good fight. You and me, together."

He smiled.

"Together."

***

Maaga pa no'ng lumabas kami ng café kaya dumiretso na lang kami sa suggested place ni Uno. He didn't even tell me where! Basta-basta na lang niya ako hinila, pakiramdam ko nga masiyado na kaming kumukuha ng attention dahil lagi na lang kami nagpupunta sa kung saan-saan samantalang laging naka-convoy 'yung mga bodyguards ko.

My gosh, kunwaring concerned pa si Anna e alam ko namang unang-una siyang sasaya kapag na-kidnap ako. O kung maulit ulit 'yung nangyari ambush sa amin noong 17 ako.

Sobrang... nakaka-trauma pa rin.

I wonder why I'm still alive after every traumatizing event I've experienced. Gusto ko na lang bigyan ng plaque ang sarili ko. Expressing self-love naman kahit pa paano, kasi medyo nakaka-proud din naman para sa'kin 'yung gano'n.

"Spacing out?" Napatingin ako kay Uno no'ng bigla siyang nagsalita. Napangiwi na lang ako—bakit ba kasi ang hilig kong mag-space out? Nakakahiya. "We're here."

"SyCip Park?" Uno nodded.

"Figured you like parks, so I checked for near botanical parks." Pababa na sana ako pero mabilis niya akong pinigilan. Bumaba siya agad at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. I made face which made him laugh. "Di mo bagay."

He chuckled, "Come on, I'm trying Bran..."

I stuck out my tongue, "Where's the arrogant vocalist I've always hated?"

He shrugged. Sabay na lang kaming naglakad papasok habang nakasunod sila Gio sa amin. Wala naman akong magawa dahil protocol sa kanila 'yun...

Hinayaan lang ako ni Uno na kumuha ng pictures. Honestly, ngayon na lang ulit talaga ako nakapunta ng botanical park dahil naging busy nga rin ako sa College. I just had no time for myself... I didn't want to have time for myself kasi ayaw ko munang mag-isip no'ng mga araw na 'yun. I was just so devastated that no amount of consoling was able to suffice my broken self.

"You paused?" Napatingin ako kay Uno habang kumukuha ako ng pictures. Napangiti na lang ako sa kaniya bago itinago 'yung phone ko. Uno smiled and walked by my side. Kinontento ko na lang ang sarili ko sa ambiance ng paligid. "Ah... I think I need to tell you something."

"Hmm?"

"Irish," he said. Napahinto ako sa paglakad at napatingin sa kaniya, I didn't know why I paused... I would probably lie that I didn't feel anything upon hearing Irish's name from Uno. It sounded so bad that I wanted to rip my ears off already.

"Ayaw ko lang kasing isipin mo na... sinasadya ko. 'Yung bigla-bigla na lang akong nawawala tuwing maayos tayo, so I think it's okay for you to know that I'm just helping Irish with her papers since she's going to enroll in Law school... sa SBA."

I nodded... but still I didn't know why I still feel betrayed. Nakakapagod din minsan kasi hindi ko ma-figure out kung ano ba talagang nararamdaman ko. Kung ako pa ba 'to.

I paused for a while before flashing a smile.

"Okay lang," I said.

"Really? Thank God—"

"Kasi sino ba naman ako sa'yo, 'di ba? We're just friends, right?" I wanted to strangle myself the moment those words slipped from my mouth. My god... bakit ba kasi sobrang impulsive mo Brandi!?

Saglit lang akong napatingin kay Uno, hanggang sa napangiti siya.

"Right," he said, and I didn't know if what I heard was the sound of a glass breaking... or my heart crushed.