I was looking for Y/n, I haven't seen her since this evening, she needs me right now, wherever she is. I saw her standing far, I was on the bridge and I could see her from a distance.

I took a relieved sigh, she often comes here to make herself feel better.

My heart jumped out of my stomach when I saw her enter the water. She can't swim.

I didn't think twice and jumped into the river from the bridge. It was freezing cold. I could feel the cold in my bones. I looked at Y/n, and I could see her struggling. Then I couldn't see her head.

My heart stopped and tried to swim as fast as I could. She was drowning, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her out of the water.

  Y/n was coughing and gasping for air, tears streaming down her face. I held her close, trying to comfort her and keep her warm. "Are you okay? It's fine, I am here."

I hugged her as we both were drenched and shivering, she pushed him. "Why did you take me out! I wanted to d'e!" She yelled.

"D'e? What would have happened to me Y/n?" I asked her.

"You must hate me too! How can I be so careless jungkook? Our child d'ed because I was careless." Y/n cried. I wiped her tears.

"No, honey, don't blame yourself. I have told you it's fine. Let's go home okay?" I tried to help her stand up, but she pushed him.

"Leave me! What home? I don't want to go where my son is no more." She yelled.

"Am I not your home?" I asked. She was silent, she then started crying harder.

"I don't feel it Jungkook, I don't feel like home. I don't feel like myself, I don't feel myself." She cried. It will get better. I am sure it will, the pain will go away. It has to go.

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January 2021

"Dad, look! The fireworks are so beautiful!"

I smiled at the small kid, who was with his father. Hyun would be his age if he was with us.

I look at the fireworks, It's new years, everyone is getting a new hope, everyone is excited for the year.

I have hope to. This year I will make her pain go away.

I went back home, with a huge smile, I wanted to show Y/n the fireworks too, she likes them a lot.

I opened the room, which was a mess, I cleaned it just before leaving and now it was a mess again, and Y/n was sitting on the floor.

It has been months and she hasn't got any better. "Honey, I brought your favorite take out, would you like to join me for dinner?"

She just stared at the wall, as if she was lifeless, blank. It hurts to see her like this.

She looked oddly quiet today, and was just staring at me with blank eyes, so I stepped closer to her. I felt like I stepped into some liquid, I looked down and realized it was blood.

It looked at where the blood was coming from, I walked to her and held her hand which was hiding and she cut her wrist. "Oh god Y/n!"

I looked at her, she had no expression and was just looking back, is she feeling no pain? Is she really that numb?

She has been hurting herself again and again. She has done it so many times.

"Just a little more, you will be free. I am crazy. It's better if you just leave Jungkook. I know I am not getting better." She said I tried to pick her up but she pushed me and tried to get away from me.

I could finally see expression in her, she was fighting back with me, because she wanted to d'e that badly.

"Y/n, just come-" I was taken back and groaned when I felt sharp pain on my shoulder.

"I SAID I WANT TO D'E!" She yelled, she stabbed the broken glass that she used to cut herself in me.

"Y/n, please," I ignore the pain, I need to save her first. She is more important than my pain.

She broke into tears. "Please just leave me."

___

I caressed her hair softly and kissed her forehead. She looked pale, she had lost so much blood, now she was fine, and the doctor had to give her sleeping pills.

I looked at my shirt and it had blood stains again. The bandage must have opened up, so I stood up and went to change my dressing.

I took off my shirt, my body is filled with scars, she doesn't do this on purpose, she doesn't purposely hurt me. But she always ends up and it's fine, as long as I save her.

I changed and went out, I remember Taehyung was here. I had to call him, because I couldn't drive because of my shoulder.

"Jungkook, you have to do something about her." Taehyung said.

"What? I am doing everything I can to heal her." I replied.

"Heal her? You are a psychiatrist. You should send her to asylum." Taehyung said.

"I can't, I promise her that I will not send her to asylum." I took her out of there, now I cant send her back there.

"Jungkook, you are losing your focus, your business is doing so bad, why don't leave her-"

"Leave her? Can a body live without a soul? A body without a soul is dead, I don't want to be dead. I don't want to be without her. I am struggling too, because she is in pain."

___

October 2015

As I stepped on the dry leaves, I heard a crackling sound beneath my feet. I gazed up at the tree, and the sight of the leaves falling to the ground made me feel melancholy.

Autumn was in full swing, and it felt like life was leaving everything. I turned my attention to the asylum building and took a deep breath before entering.

Dad did it on purpose, I hated this place and he purposely sent me here.

The walls were tall and old, and the architecture was in dire need of renovation. That's why I was here. My father owns an architecture firm, and I aspire to join his company.

For my project, he gave me this job. I haven't completed college yet, it was just a fun side project. He wants to see if I am capable of doing a simple task or not.

The autumn season made it even more intimidating. I walked inside and gathered the courage to talk. There u talked to the owner of the asylum.

As I was lost in thought, admiring the architecture of the asylum, I saw a girl. She had a notebook in her hand and was writing something intently. She was sitting on the ground and there were some nuts that were right beside her, she was feeding the squirrels. The squirrels don't look scared of her. That means she has been doing this for a while.

She was wearing a dark brown outfit that perfectly matched the color of her eyes.

The way her hair fell around her face in soft waves was captivating, and I couldn't help but stare.

It was typical for an Asian girl to have black hair, but there was something different about her.

The black of her hair and the brown of her eyes seemed unmatched, as if they were from different worlds. I had never seen such a striking contrast before.

As I watched the girl writing so intently in her notebook, I couldn't help but wonder what she was writing. She seemed completely absorbed in her work, as if nothing else in the world mattered.

Suddenly, I heard a nurse say, "Y/n, it's getting cold, how about we go inside?"

Y/n? What a beautiful name. Wouldn't it look beautiful with my surname? Jeon Y/n

I looked at the asylum owner who was with me and asked, "Is she a patient?"

He looked at Y/n and said, "Yes, she has been here all her life."

"All her life? Is she suffering from something that serious?" I asked another question.

"Hmm, not really. Her family dropped her off here, and she was only supposed to be here for a few months, but they never came back to pick her up." He replied. I felt a pang of sadness for Y/n and wondered what her life had been like all these years.

"So she is fine?" I asked.

"Can anyone be fine by staying in an asylum 24/7 for years? Even if she was fine, she is not anymore." The owner replied.

I saw her leave, she kept hugging her notebook as if she was hiding all her secrets in it.

I want to know all her secrets, I want know her, I want to be her secret.

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