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𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝘃𝗲: 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀

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When Cassandra Blake was on the cusp of turning fifteen years old, she had already gone through the five stages of grief. The denial, the anger, the bargaining, the depression, and the acceptance. She never thought she would be going through it so soon, so suddenly.

But John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron had died.

There was no changing that.

And Cassandra Blake knew that.

She never thought that she would be this distraught over Sarah Cameron, the girl that made her whole world sparkle and then crushed it in a blink of an eye only for them to make up in the end. Only, perhaps too late. Too late for them to really become real friends again.

And she never thought that she would this distraught over John B Routledge, the boy that seemed to understand her the most and who accepted her as a Pogue before anybody else. But if his life is what brought her in as a Pogue, his death had been the reason for her disbandment from the Pogues.

Since the night of their deaths, Cassie hadn't seen any of the Pogues. Although she didn't want to go back home to her mother, it was the only place for her to go since the others wanted nothing to do with her. Especially Kiara.

That same night, Cassie and her mother, Savannah, made a deal. If the former never spoke a word of what she had suspicions about (you know, the whole Ward killing Big John thing and Savannah supposedly knowing about it), then the latter wouldn't keep her locked away.

Cassie agreed to it. It wasn't like she had any evidence to give to the police to support her theory. And it wasn't like they would even believe her anyway if she did go to them. They would just think she was another crazy teenager telling lies in order to spite her parent.

So, instead of turning toward the police or her friends (not anymore), she turned toward the one thing that never let her down: alcohol.

Once her mother had gone to bed every night since their deaths, she would sneak downstairs and drown her sorrows with the familiar burning sensation in the back of throat. She did it when she was mourning her father, and she was doing it to mourn John B and Sarah.

However, one particular night, she found herself wandering out of her house with a bottle of Vodka in her hand. She didn't even know how she had gotten there until she dropped the bottle on the concrete and it shattered, causing her to pull out her phone (the one her mother finally gave back to her after a few days of begging) and tap on someone's contact to come pick her up.

The someone that, for some reason, she felt was the least mad at her out of all of the Pogues.

"...Cassie?" They answered, confusion written all over their tone since A. It had been the middle of the night and B. Cassie usually never called them.

"JJ," Cassie drawled as she stumbled over, placing her hand on a streetlight to balance herself.

"Cassie, why are you calling me?" JJ questioned slowly. He hadn't seen the girl in days and now she had been calling him in the middle of the night? That didn't seem normal to him. Especially since it was Cassie, someone who never even wanted to talk with him at the beginning of the summer.

"Why am I calling you?" She voiced out loud, looking up at the black sky. "I don't know."

She heard JJ sigh over the phone. "Are you drunk right now?"

"Maybeeeee," she replied, prolonging the word.

"Yeah, I don't think that's a maybe," she heard the boy mutter to himself before he sighed again. "What's going on?"

"Well, I seemed to have found my way outside my house and I don't remember how to get back," she giggled like it was no big deal.

"Jesus, how much did you have?"

"I don't remember."

"Cassie..." He trailed off, although he shouldn't have been saying anything. He, too, had been drowning himself in alcohol. Maybe not as bad as her, but he was still doing it nonetheless. John B had been his best friend since the third grade and now he was dead. How else was he supposed to react?

"What, JJ?" She whined.

"Just — Do you need me to drive you back home?" He offered, knowing it wasn't safe for her to be out alone and drunk out of her mind.

"Oh, yesssss. Get your cute, little ass over here on that bike of yours. Come be my hero again," she drunkenly slurred, using her free hand to spin around the pole of the streetlight like a little kid.

"...Cute, little ass?" He repeated, releasing a short laugh of confusion.

"You heard me."

JJ shook his head at her from over the phone, but didn't question it again. He knew it was the alcohol talking. He's said some pretty fucked up things when the alcohol took over his body. "Alright, alright. I'm coming. Just send me your location and I'll come get you."

And so, JJ hopped on his motorbike and drove to where Cassie sent him the location. When he had got there, he found her sitting on the side of the road. "JJ!" She sprang up when she saw him, going over to him and giving him a hug.

"Oh, whoa," he breathed out, freezing up a bit since he didn't expect that kind of greeting. The two didn't exactly leave off on a bad note the last time they saw each other, like with her and Kiara. But it didn't make sense for her to greet him in that way. "Yeah, you're definitely wasted."

"Am not!" She denied once she pulled away from him, only for her to start falling backward before he caught her by her wrists. "Okay, maybe I am."

JJ shook his head at her before he said, "Come on, get on the bike. I'll take you home." Cassie grinned as she booped him on the nose, making him blink at her in surprise before she got on the bike. He did the same, sitting in front of her with his hands placed on the handlebars. "Make sure to hang on or else you'll probably fall off."

JJ then revved the engine and took off, making Cassie squeal as she wrapped her arms around his husky torso and placed her head on his back. She stayed like that until JJ made it up to her house, pulling in the driveway.

"Okay, we're here." Cassie tried stepping off of the bike, but she ended up falling over onto the grass and laughing like it had been the funniest thing in the world. "Seriously?" JJ breathed out before he got off the bike, helping her up. "Yeah, you're not gonna be able to walk alone. Let me get you to your room."

"I have my key this time. No breaking and entering for youuuu," she teased as he helped her up to the door.

"Hooray..." JJ trailed off sarcastically as Cassie clumsily unlocked the front door with her key.

However, she actually ended up locking it. "Oh, wait, I never locked it to begin with," she realized and JJ gave her a look. "Whoops." She unlocked the door for real the second time and JJ brought her inside, leading her up to her room so she didn't fall down the steps. "I am getting major deja vu right now. Are you getting deja vu?"

"I wish I wasn't," JJ grumbled before they finally entered her room. "Voi-effing-là, we're here."

"Ooh, yay. Come here," she said, pulling JJ further into her room.

"No, Cassie, I gotta get back. It's late and I wasn't even planning on being here," he told her as she continued to drag him into her room. He would rather brood about John B's death on his own time.

She let go of his hand and pouted. "If you don't want to be here, then why did you come?"

"Because you were drunk and outside in the middle of the night?" He said it like it was obvious.

"Aw, so you were scared something was gonna happen to me?" She teased, poking him on the chest. "You scaredy-cat."

He gave her a look. "Is it wrong for me to be concerned about a girl who's drunk and outside at night by herself?" He countered. He was also concerned about the state she was in, using the alcohol to console her grief. Yes, he had been doing the same, but he knew this had been a common occurrence for her. JJ really only did it when things got rough, really rough.

"I guess chivalry isn't dead after all," she jested and JJ scoffed, rolling his eyes at her. "But yes, it is wrong. It's wrong when that girl is me. I, like, half-expected you to laugh at me and hang up when I called," she laughed.

JJ furrowed his brows. "Why would you think that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know 'cause you hate meeee."

He sighed, "Cassie, I don't hate you." And it was true. He didn't. Not anymore, at least.

"But I slept with Rafe who's a murderer," she pointed out, pouting once again.

"That doesn't mean I should hate you."

"But Kiara does. Kiara hates me. She doesn't want to be my friend anymore."

JJ sighed again. She hadn't exactly been wrong. In all the times that JJ had seen Kiara that week, all she had to talk about was that she could never trust Cassie again. Honestly, JJ understood Kiara. Cassie slept with the guy that was to blame for John B and Sarah's deaths. If Rafe never shot Peterkin, they would still be alive. But how was Cassie supposed to know that was going to happen?

"Okay, no, look, she just...needs some time. We all need some time to-to get over this," he began, although he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to get over the death of his best friend. "She'll come around," he assured although he wasn't exactly sure it was the truth.

"You really think so?" She gasped, her eyes going wide like a little puppy.

JJ smiled a bit. "Yeah, I really think so."

"Yay!" Cassie hurrahed before she wrapped her around the boy yet again, which made his eyes go wide. But this time, he decided to wrap his arms around her body to hug her back. In all honesty, he needed to the hug. And hugging Cassie just felt so...different? He couldn't place his finger on it.

Once she pulled away, she stayed neared him as she stared into his ocean blue eyes. "Your eyes," she stated.

JJ quirked a brow. "What about them?"

"They're just so...pretty," she gushed.

JJ blinked, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "You think my eyes are pretty?" He asked and she nodded in confirmation. "Well, I think yours are pretty, too," he shrugged before he thought about what he had said. Why the fuck did I just say that? I'm not the drunk one here.

Cassie paused. "Wait, really?"

"Y-Yeah. Sure, yeah," JJ stammered, suddenly growing nervous.

The smile on her face began to turn coy, almost seductive. "You know what's also pretty? Your face."

JJ raised his eyebrows at what she was saying, laughing a bit. "Cassie, you're drunk," he brushed it off, turning away from her.

Cassie grabbed his shoulder and turned him back to her, getting closer to him. "Just because I'm drunk doesn't mean what I'm saying isn't true," she pointed out, tilting her head to the side.

"Yeah. Yeah, it does, actually," he denied but he didn't try to turn away again. Not when they had been so close.

"No. No, it doesn't," she replied as she moved her face closer to him. "I think you're really pretty, JJ Maybank." JJ swallowed hard as he looked at her eyes before glancing down at her lips, which were way too close to his face for two people who supposedly didn't like each other. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

JJ blinked at the question, looking back up at her eyes. Of course he thought she was pretty. Any guy who had eyes would think that. But why did him saying it feel like he was admitting to something else?

"Come on, what kinda question is that?" He decided to say instead since it kind of answered the question, but it also didn't at the same time.

"One you're not answering," she pointed out.

He gulped. "I don't know if I should," he admitted.

"Why?"

JJ glanced back down at her lips, seeing the way she had slowly been inching closer to him. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down once again, feeling how his stomach had dropped and his body had become rigid. "Cass..." He breathed out as he held his gaze onto her lips, almost longingly. Like it was all he had craved.

She had seen the way he had been looking at her lips. It was like after the hot tub incident, but even more intense. And this time, she had been the one to initiate. Wait, what was she trying to initiate?

JJ then snapped out of it and shook his head, turning away from her as he ran his hand through his hair. What the fuck am I doing? She's drunk, he scolded himself, not knowing why he was entertaining it. Clearly, she was drunk and not in control of what she was doing. What other explanation could there be?

"Uh, tomorrow we're having a small memorial," he blurted out, his back still turned to her as he rubbed his chin.

Cassie blinked rapidly, realizing what she was about to do. Why was I doing that? Am I crazy? Oh, I'm drunk. That's why, she thought. "What?"

He glanced over at her before he looked at the wall, not being able to keep eye contact. "Kie, Pope, and I...we're having a small memorial for John B and Sarah at the Château. You should come."

She slowly shook her head, trying to forget about what just happened since she chalked it up to being wildly drunk out of her mind. But, in that moment, she didn't really feel it. Not like she did when she was outside. "Kie wouldn't want me there."

He looked back at her. "It's fine, I'll talk to her. And John B would want you to be there," he assured her.

She felt her heart twinge at that. Would John B want her there? He wouldn't if he knew what she had done. "Oh, uh, okay. I'll see."

He nodded with pursed lips before he backed up toward her door. "I'll, uh...I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, he left.

Cassie backed up onto her bed and fell down upon it, rubbing her face. "What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe I do need to stop drinking," she whispered to herself. But she knew that was never going to happen. Not any time soon.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Cassie drove up to the Château. She wasn't sure what time she was supposed to get there since JJ never told her, but she at least wanted to try to be a part of the memorial. And if JJ had talked with Kiara, then Cassie had hope that maybe she could try to make amends.

Cassie got out of her car and walked toward the Château, seeing the three Pogues all standing by a tree. Once Cassie caught sight of the back of JJ, her breath hitched. She began to think about last night. God, what was she even thinking trying to do that? What was she even trying to do?

She hoped JJ just assumed it was the alcohol talking. Since that's all that it was. Obviously. She was just being an annoying drunk girl, no actual feelings involved. He had to know that because she knew that. Yeah, she knew that. Definitely.

Instead of immediately going up to them, Cassie slowly walked up behind them, not wanting to interrupt just yet. She could just watch from afar for now.

Pope chiseled a heart into a tree trunk with an axe while JJ and Kiara stood behind him with sad looks on their faces. After Pope was done, JJ stepped up and branded "2003-2020 JOHN B ROUTLEDGE P4L" into the heart. Once he was done, he stepped back and held up his flask. "To John B."

"And to Sarah," Kiara added weakly before the two boys began to drink the alcohol they had in their hands. They then started burying John B and Sarah's belongings that they left behind underneath the tree to commemorate them.

When Cassie finally took one step forward, a twig snapped underneath her foot and the three Pogues turned, seeing the girl. "Oh, hell no," Kiara immediately said, her head shaking at her. She had tears on her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away angrily. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Cassie furrowed her brows and looked at JJ, who started to rub the back of his neck. "You didn't tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Kiara crossed her arms, looking over at JJ. JJ didn't talk to her? What the hell? "Another thing you didn't tell me she did?" She snarled and Pope released a sigh next to her.

"Look, I-I invited her, okay? I thought it would be good for you guys to talk it out. You know, let her explain," JJ reasoned, gesturing between the two of them.

"There's no explanation needed," Kiara stated before she turned to Cassie. "You fucked the guy that caused this." Cassie shut her eyes, pursing her lips. "Hey, now that I think about it, maybe this would have never happened if you never slept with Rafe and then ghosted him right after. Maybe that's why he went so fucking ballistic. Guess you got what you wanted though. To spite Sarah. 'Cause, look, now she's dead. Along with John B. So, congratulations on that."

But that wasn't what Cassie wanted. She hated Sarah in the beginning, but after they had talked it out on the boat and Sarah had saved her from Mrs. Crain...Cassie didn't want her dead. She was just starting to warm up to her again. And she definitely didn't want John B to be dead either. Not when she understood the boy and he understood her.

"Kie," JJ warned through clenched teeth.

"No, no, it's okay. I know when I'm not wanted. I'll just leave," Cassie cut in before she turned around, shaking her head furiously. She didn't want to fight, not when it would only dig herself deeper in the hole she put herself in. But why had JJ even invited her there if it was obvious Kiara wasn't going to be okay with it? Had he done this on purpose?

"Shit," JJ breathed out before he followed after the girl, making Kiara roll her eyes and turn to Pope to complain. "Cassie, come on. Cassie."

"Just stop, JJ. They don't want me here, so I'm just gonna leave," she responded, not even looking back at him as he followed her.

"Just because they don't want you here, doesn't mean I don't want you here." He had surprised himself when he blurted it out. The words were what he said to her at John B's after finding the gold at the Crain house, but reversed. Was it true? Or was he just saying that to get her to stay? They both didn't know the answer.

"Oh, please, JJ!" She exclaimed, turning around to finally face him. Once she met his eyes, her face twisted. Those same eyes she called pretty last night didn't seem so comforting to her now. In fact, all she wanted to do was just scratch them out for deceiving her so easily.

Why had she let him deceive her so easily? With his pretending to care about her well-being and the way he looked between her eyes and lips when their bodies had been so close. Had that all been to get her to here to watch Kiara drag her ass? How did she fall for it? Why did she fall for it?

She knew why. She wanted to feel, well...wanted. Needed. To feel like she had belonged. And JJ had made her feel that way. God, why did he make her feel that way? Well, if he did make her feel that way, she certainly hadn't felt like it anymore.

"This is all you've wanted, for me to be gone from your life! I mean, what, did you just invite me to here to humiliate me?! You didn't even tell her I was coming!"

"No, no, that's not what I was trying to do," he tried to explain.

"Oh, really? Because that's what it seems like!"

"I invited you here because you should be here! John B cared about you!" He told her.

"Well, John B might have, but you definitely don't. If you did, you would have never told me to come here and give me false hope to make up with Kiara!" She argued.

"But—!"

"No, I don't wanna fucking hear it!" She cut him off. "I shouldn't have called you last night. It was a mistake," she muttered, but he had heard it, which made his heart pang for some reason. He didn't know what to make of last night between them. He assumed that Cassie had let the alcohol take control, but why was he entertaining it?

She then stormed off back toward her car. And just like that, everything new she began to think about JJ Maybank had evaporated. Or that's what she tried to convince herself of, anyway.

"But I do care," JJ whispered to himself as he watched her walk off before he sighed in frustration and took a swig of alcohol out of his flask.

Why did he care?

authors note!
sorry this took a little bit longer
than usual. i was brooding about my
math test i think i did shit on LMAO
anyway im on winter break now
with no classes so that either means
more frequent updates or less frequent
updates. depends on what i have planned
on the schedule but im obviously gonna
update as best as i can unless something
gets in the way. hopefully yall enjoyed
this chapter but as u know, every good
thing i write always has to end with
something bad bc i cant let my ocs
be happy for more than one chapter
LMFAOO