Apollo

I heard every single word Percy told Nico about the gods.

The thing was, I didn't have an argument against it.

When I'm a god. Technically. Supposed to be.

You get the point.

That's bad.

I was being brought to Olympus tonight for reconsideration of being a god. Discussing the topic of me once again being an immortal God and reclaiming my throne.

Percy and William left along with everyone else and after dinner I was sent to Olympus.

They didn't think I'd have terms for returning to my throne. I never did the last two times this happened, why now?

This time I was mortal. I could die. And I had emotions. Human emotions, human mindset.

That changes a lot.

"Terms?" My father asked and laughed. "What 'terms?' You'd get your throne back, isn't that enough?"

"Let him speak, brother." Hades remarked," maybe he has a point to what he wants to term. And plus, it doesn't have to be accepted. It can also be negotiated."

"Fine, fine." Zeus said," your terms?"

I unfolded the paper I had been writing on ever since I became mortal.

"Pawning." I started off with and Zeus stopped me before I could continue.

"What about it?"

"We shouldn't do it as often as we do," I tell them," I've noticed when I've been at the camp that demigods we pawn and use don't like it."

"So?" Ares asked. "They're human, mortal. Half of it. Anyways. They're just going to die, anyways."

"Well yeah." I agreed with that they'd die," but they'd like to feel appreciated every once in a while. Luke left and served at Kronos hand because we used him as a pawn and treated him like he didn't matter. I'm starting to worry Percy will do the same with another's summers time."

"Percy?" This shocked Poseidon. He didn't believe it," Why would Percy of all demigods follow in Luke's footsteps?"

That's what made me snap.

"Because he's sick and tired of our crap!" I snapped at them, something I've wanted to do ever since I saw what we've put the demigods through. "Because he doesn't think we care about our kids and he'd be right! Okay? He didn't go through 12 years of abuse and loss of hope to meet his dad and fins out his dad doesn't care, that all his dad would do is ignore him. And that hurts. And he's not the only demigod that feels that way. Annabeth told them when they were 12 that were too busy for them, that we don't care enough about them, we just ignore them. Kids sit there in Cabin 11, waiting for a lost hope for a claiming that's never going to come because their parent doesn't care enough to even tell them that they're their parent. They think maybe if they do these insane things we'll notice them. They can feel like for once in their life, they mean something. There's so much self hate there, but nobody brings it up because they know nobody will take care of why they even put themselves through it. Because we're assholes. We've been in power for so long we forgot what it was like to be them—"

"Apollo," my father stopped me where I was at," that's enough. You may leave now."

"But-"

"I shouldn't have to repeat myself.

"Yes, sir..."

I returned to Camp just in time for the campfire sing-a-long, and normally I love the sing along. But I just wasn't feeling it tonight. Not after what Zeus said. How he dismissed me.

I was awaiting a call to the Big House and got it the next day, immediately after breakfast.

"I've been summoned." I said, walking into the Big House, where both Chiron and Mr. D were. Mr. D didn't look too happy to see me.

"Yes, Apollo." Chiron said. "Mr. D would like to speak with you."

Great.

Nico

There was a council meeting the next day as always right after summer session is over with, and walking through Mr. D and Apollo were arguing.

Nobody knows how yesterday went. Apollo didn't say anything about it. But we all stood outside, on the porch, listening to this.

"Its foolish!" Mr. D told the former God.

"Well its true!" Apollo had the guts to yell back at him. "If they won't speak up I'll do it for them! I don't care if it means somebody else takes my throne! They can have it, I won't tolerate it!"

"If Zeus is feeling as kind as to give you your spot on Olympus back, you won't care." Mr. D told him. "Its not like you ever did before!"

"I was never a mortal before! I never could have the risk of dying! I never could feel actual emotion! Now I can. And now that I can I can see why they hate us so much. Why they would rather die trying to defeat us rather than serve us. Are you blind to half of your campers here? Luke, Ethan, Percy, Annabeth, even your own fucking kid, Pollux. They hate us. But because they saw what happened to Luke and what happened to Ethan they're terrified to try and do anything."

"Well good, then they know their spot."

"That they're useless?"

"Yes."

"You're as impossible as Dad, you know that?" Apollo snapped at the confined god. "You treat these kids like they don't matter, you don't even bother calling them by their rightful name. But then you expect them to defend you and everything you stand for. It's no wonder Percy wanted to kill himself."

"Did I hear that right?" Leo was first to speak up.

"I hope not." Came from Jason.

After ten minutes we figured it was safe to go inside. Neither of Chiron or Mr. D was at this meeting. Council only.

"So first of all. Did we all hear Apollo say the same thing?" Reyna was first to bring it up. "About Percy?"

"Well what did everyone hear?" Thalia did arrive late. Yes, she came in five minutes ago.

"Mr. D and Apollo were fighting, I imagine it started as something about what happened yesterday." Will explained. "Apollo was trying to explain him why people like Luke or Ethan left camp. And then he said, plain as day Its no wonder Percy wanted to kill himself."

Thalia considered this for a second.

"You know, I actually wouldn't doubt that," she piped in," I barely knew him before I joined the hunt. But he didn't seem very happy at Camp the couple months we were at Camp together."

"What do you mean he wasn't happy?" Malcolm asked. "He was the happiest camper we had."

"No, he wasn't." Thalia told him. "Maybe he was before I was there, but after, no way in hell. Because everyone thought it was so funny he had a brother with one eye, so let's tease him about it. Just because he acted like he didn't hear it doesn't mean it never affected him. After Bianca died, he blamed himself. For everything that involved her death. He blamed himself that he could've stopped her, he could've gone in and sacrificed himself instead, he blames himself for how Nico hated him, how Nico left, and how they found him. I wouldn't doubt she's the only one he blames himself for their death. I mean. He was there when Charles died. Luke. Ethan. Silena. Everything we don't have the courage to talk about because half of us in this room don't know what's coming out of my mouth right now, its news to you. And the reason it's news is because you weren't there when it happened. When Percy wasn't our leader. When we were a happy camp. When Nico had a sister. When most councilors were in college because they all lived long enough to see it. When we had a handful of runaways here but nobody cared they ran away because now they were here. Now if somebody's sibling dies, they never hear the end of it. If you ran away once, even if you went back, you're made fun of. If somebody dares mention a time before Percy. They get in trouble. So yeah. No wonder he wanted to kill himself. He had nothing he could say. If he talked about his problems he'd get in trouble."

Hazel was in the room. All of the 7 were on the council.

"I'm right here..." Hazel remarked. "I'm not dead."

"Oh, honey." Thalia told my little sister. "I wasn't referring to you."

That whole meeting was basically therapy for all of us.

But boy was Hazel pissed off afterwards.

"You have another sister!?"

"Had, Hazel." I tell her. "I had another sister."

"And you never told me?"

"No."

So she made a huge deal out of that and turned it into that I didn't trust her and I didn't care enough about her to tell her something as simple as that of to her about my mother and why I never went home and she pushed my buttons, the ones nobody dared to push before. Because the last time the subject rose, I fled camp.

"I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE I WASN'T READY TO TALK ABOUT IT!" I silenced my sister. The first time I've ever yelled at her. I didn't want to, but it seems to be the only way she'd listen. "OKAY, IS THAT A GOOD ENOUGH ANSWER!? I DON'T TALK ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD! THEY'RE GONE AND THEY'RE NOT COMING BACK AND I NEVER ASKED FOR THAT BUT IT HAPPENED ANYWAYS! SO NO. I DIDN'T TELL YOU. BECAUSE I CAN BARELY EVEN TELL MYSELF. SO SHUT UP AND MOVE ON ALREADY, WOULD YOU! IM TRYING MY BEST WITH WHAT I HAVE BECAUSE I NEVER ASKED FOR ANY OF THIS."

I didn't think me yelling would scare her enough to start to tear up.

I calmed myself and realize I had hurt her.

"Oh god, Hazel, I—" but she already had let have my share of words.

"No, its fine," she insisted, and picked up her duffle bag," I'll be at Camp Jupiter."

And she left.

I went over to them fountain they have in every cabin and took out a drachma. Hoping to Gods Percy had time for me being an emotional wreck. He should know what to do, right?

His image did appear. He was in his room. Mom's apartment, wearing a really nice suit. That's right, he said he had his interview today. I imagine that was earlier though.

"How'd it go, honey?" I heard Sally ask.

Ah yes, Sally Blofis. She was a wonderful woman. So nice and polite and a wonderful cook. I'd had a few of her meals and some of her baking. Percy acted a lot like her. Sometimes. Not always.

"Pretty good, I think." Percy told his mother. "They thought my arts was wonderful, but we're skeptical about my math and English, and I had to explain my Dyslexia to them for ten minutes. But aside that, I thought it went pretty good. They said they'd call by the end of the week since I'd need time to move out to the UK assuming I get accepted. So..."

"That's good to hear."

She must've went to make dinner or something. It was almost dinner time.

He closed the door and I spoke up.

"You sound excited." I tell the son of Poseidon. Who jumped at my voice and turned to where the message was.

"Nico?" He asked, seemingly confused. "What on...? How long have you been here?"

"Just a minute." I told him and looked down, hanging my head in shame.

"What happened?"

"I messed up so badly, Percy," I told our former camp leader," we had a meeting, and Apollo heard part of our conversation yesterday and was fighting with Mr. D and the whole thing about your deoression, he used it against him and the whole council heard it. I didn't say anything about it. But Thalia was kind of pissed off by everything, and I don't blame her what she was mad about. But she brought up and usually it wouldn't be a big deal, but she referred to her as my sister that died and Hazel was in there and said she wasn't dead and Thalia told her she was talking about Hazel, but rather Bianca. Who I hadn't told Hazel about yet. And she questioned me afterwards and I tried to answer but she overlooked it and ignored it and I snapped at her and told her I didn't tell her because I wasn't ready to talk about it myself and I know I wasn't being a very good brother, but I was doing my best with what I could because its not like I asked for any of this and... She thought I meant when she showed up that I didn't want her as my sister."

"Where is she now?"

"Camp Jupiter. Or at least, on her way."

Percy just sighed.

"Nico, I..." He tried to think of something to say. "I don't know what to tell you. Tyson and I had a few moments like this. But he was Tyson, he easily forgave and easily understood if I explained I meant something else. Hazel on the other hand... She's stubborn. And I was friends with Tyson before I even knew he was my brother. Or a Cyclopes. Just don't let her take it as far as to start ignoring you. Talk to her. Anything is better than being ignored."

"Alright, I'll try, thanks..." I said and noticed he seemed a little off. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm—" he stopped himself a second.

"No," he told me, looking down, shaking his head," it's so hard, Nico. I can't look in the mirror because every time I do I want to punch it because I can't stand what I see. And with Tyler running around the house it makes me feel like I can't tell them because they're both worrying about her so much right now with how little she is. Because they don't know. They know about the depression, that I was diagnosed. But they don't know how bad it is. How many times I've had the urge to just jump out of my window. Neither does William, but he'll find out. And he'll pity me. Like everybody else that found out. And then I'll have to deal with that for at least four years. If not five or six. I try to be as honest and I can be with him, I really do. But I just don't want to scare him. I don't want to tell him I went through Tartarus because it might scare him. I don't want to tell him I injured the god of war when I was 12 because even that slightly terrified me. I try to be a good boyfriend. I try as hard as I can. He's always been easy about being honest and open with me. It was never hard for him."

"Just ease him into it, Percy." I tell my friend. "I've had the same problems with Will, believe it or not. And now that William knows of the gods, it'll be easier to tell him about all of it. He won't insist you're insane, at least. And as of your depression, one of them needs to know, at least. You can't just tell me and me only, they deserve to know. Will it suck to hear. Yeah. But they'll feel so much better knowing you trust them to know."

That was when the connection cut out.

Percy

He wasn't wrong. They deserve to know.

After Tyler went to bed, Paul had a meeting, but I figured at least tell my Mom. Who knows? She might tell Paul.

"Hey, Mom." I said, standing at the door to her and Paul's room. "Can I talk with you?"

"Of course." My mother said with that smile she ways carried handy with her and we headed into the main area of the apartment, sitting down at the table across from each others. "What's going on?"

"This summer," I started off simple, recalling Will diagnosed me, not my normal city doctor, so they actually didn't know about the depression, " not long after camp started, I had gone in and Will offered to get my college physical check up crap done and I figured why not. And because of my Dyslexia and what not he had to check for anything mental."

"What were the results?"

"My Dyslexia is still the same as ever, that's probably never going away," I was honest with my mother, " but my ADHD was finally gone. Worn away."

"That good news, honey. Now you won't have to feel so distracted when you go to classes, just worry about reading everything."

"He diagnosed me with depression, Mom."

I've never seen my mother do a 180 faster than that. From seemingly joyed and happy by the news, to almost devastated by the next sentence.

"And I know I should've said something a long time ago, I know." I tell her. "Because it wasn't new, I've been waiting to be told that for years now by somebody. I always knew about it, I was aware of it back when Gabe was around. When they told me I was going to die, they knew my fate. I figured okay, I'll die and it'll be no big deal. I'll die at least trying to save the world. But I didn't die and I thought maybe it'd go away. But it went to hell along with me and it hasn't gotten any better. Mom, I can't look at myself anymore because all I see is a monster. Because the last time I did I punched the mirror and got glass in my hand for it. He gave me medication for it and it worked for about a week. I still take it, I have to. But it doesn't really do much like I hoped it would."

Paul walked in on me crying for the third time that day.

The first time was when I woke up from a nightmare and well it happens every once in a while. Then talking to Nico, and then now to my mother.

I was a wreck.