July 31, 2016

I had not written for the past month, it felt wrong to do so. My brain had associated writing with my favorite... subject, so whenever I tried to write about someone else—in a very weird way—I felt like I was cheating. Stupid, I know.

I did say I would get over the professor, and the best way to get over someone, is getting under someone else.

Amy, Nay and I decided that we would party as hard as we could for a month. Which meant we were out almost every night—not the best lifestyle for someone who used to have constant migraines, but at least I was not drinking, and I was getting enough sleep, in the morning, that is—, but the crazy lifestyle did not last for long.

Since I could not drink, I was always the designated driver—not that we would come back home together very often. Most nights Amy ended up with someone new—those blue eyes did wonders.

Nay on the other hand, did not seem to take interest in anyone, even though plenty of girls tried to hit on her. Which also meant she sort of got in the way. No one would get near me because she was always around.

It did not take me long to figure out why though.

All it took was her uncontrolled consumption of alcohol to get her to spit out the truth, about how she felt that since the whole Cecilia thing was over and done with, we should just get back together—I would not say we were ever truly together, though.

It also made me feel like shit to notice that all that time she was harboring feelings when I no longer saw her as more than a friend. She was as far in the friendzone as possible, and there was no turning back from that.

It took a few uncomfortable sober talks before she seemed to finally accept it. Once she did though, that was when we indeed started having fun.

I met a few girls I felt very much attracted to, but they could not keep my interest for more than a night—I knew the blame was all mine.

I needed a conscious effort just to keep myself from thinking of Cecilia.

And then, one night, it was different. Someone got my attention for more than their looks. Amy was right, I did have a type.

She had light skin, and very dark hair—for a split second her figure made me think of the professor, but the eyes were different.

Her eyes caught my attention the most, they were a mesmerizing shade of green.

I could not stop looking at her as she danced with some other girl. I had had a feeling she was teasing me—I turned out to be right.

She would grind her back on the girl's front as her eyes kept fixated on mine—she knows how to be sexy, I will give her that.

She was getting me hot and bothered just by dancing, and she was not even dancing with me—even though she was indeed dancing for me. After a while of just watching her, I motioned with my head for her to come to where I was.

I watched her as she walked up to me. I was sitting on a high stool near the bar when she approached me stopping right in between my legs, as her eyes kept moving from my own eyes, down to my lips—she was bold, and I liked that about her.

"Hi," she used the loud music as an excuse to get closer and whisper on my ear, resting both her hands on my waist in order to do so.

"Hi." I was waiting to see where that situation would lead me to—I do not think I had in mind just how much those green eyes would become a part of my life.

And just like that, Katherine and I became inseparable. That was the last night I went partying with my friends.

I switched back to sleeping regular hours as I spent most of my days with Kat—I am glad I can finally write about someone else and not feel like I am doing something wrong.

She had a new idea for a date every day, and she would blow my mind away every single time.

I could not believe my luck.

There it was. A girl that was everything I did not know I needed. She was consistent, loving, always caring, never scared to show me off to her friends and family—even if I thought the family part was a little bit too soon.

But most important, she made sure to tell me how lucky she was to have found me—although I knew it to be the other way around.

We had not put a label on it until a few days ago in the most casual way possible. She was helping me look for a poetry book for myself at the bookstore, just because I felt like reading one.

When she decided to ask a clerk if he had any new poetry books to recommend, the guy—who was clearly trying to hit on her—asked if she meant it for herself or as a present and she just told him it was for her girlfriend.

Just like that—because with this girl it is always, just like that—I was informed I was in a relationship, not that I felt like complaining though—I am whipped.

That clerk was a bit of a jerk—okay, he did back off once she said she had a girlfriend, but I am allowed to be just a little bit possessive—, but his book recommendation was very much on point. I loved it so much, I just might gift copies of it to some of my friends.

I did feel like now I had more than just Amy and Nay to use the word friend with. Even though Cecilia and I had not talked all throughout the break, it did not mean I had not been in touch with Lucy and Evelyn.

I did not blame the professor for not keeping in touch, seeing as I thought she was celebrating the proposal, and I was truly trying to be happy for her.

Lucy was still pissed Cecilia had gone to Cancun with the doctor, even more so when I told her about Kat—she seemed to think it was her sister's loss, but I think both the professor and I had different paths to follow.

The younger Bailey and I would exchange a couple messages every other day and she even got to meet Kat last week.

Evelyn on the other hand, had a more... motherly approach to the whole situation, and seemed glad I was moving on—even if Cecilia was her best friend, she still thought I was doing the right thing.

Eve, much like my own mother, had not met Kat—although I did show them both some pictures of Kat and I together.

A couple days ago Lucy called me to remind me that it was Cecilia's birthday. I had no idea what to do with that information though. What if I called to wish her a happy birthday and I ended up making things weird? What if Miranda got mad over my call?

Since I did not know what to do with that, I thought it was best to do nothing at all, the professor would just have to take my apology later on—but later on could not have come sooner.

Today was my last day off before school started again. Which meant it was also the last day I would have my girlfriend's company whenever we felt like it. I would go back to my studies and Kat would go back to teaching English at the primary school close to my building—I wondered often if Miranda's youngest would end up being her student.

Seeing as it was our last day of freedom, we decided to go out for lunch at a seafood restaurant at the beach. We were all dressed up—not overdressed though—and I was actually starting to change my mind about going out, my girlfriend looked too good, and it was getting me turned on, more than I would like to admit.

But all good things come to an end eventually, and as the door to the elevator opened, we were met by none other than Cecilia Bailey herself.

I stood still, too baffled to move.

She looked different, her hair had grown, and she had a tan, but there was also something in her eyes I could not pinpoint.

"Hi! You look great, Cancun did you wonders. Cecilia, this is Kat." I said over enthusiastically as I tried to hide my surprise. "Babe, this is my neighbor, Cecilia." The professor was the one to take initiative as she held her hand for Kat to shake.

My girlfriend was clearly unaware of the tension building up as she complimented Cecilia.

The elevator's doors had closed leaving her downstairs with us, she would have to wait for it to come down again.

"It's so nice to meet you. Isn't she Lucy's sister? They do look a lot alike." What a way of starting small talk Kat.

I do not think Cecilia knew how to react to that because her faced stayed as stone cold as it was the moment our eyes met. Maybe that should have been clue enough that something was wrong with her, but I was more worried with the situation potentially going sour.

"You've met my sister?" She might have been asking that to Kat, but it was me her eyes were fixated on.

"Lucy invited us over for lunch last week. She wanted to meet the girlfriend." I felt like I owned her an explanation, even though I did not—it sucked to realized she still had some control over me.

"Where's Miranda?" I asked looking around, as I both tried to change subject and find a way to get out of that situation.

"Not here, clearly." She motioned to the bags that she was caring by herself. "Anyways, I should go, you girls have a nice afternoon." She dismissed us as the elevator seemed to be getting to the garage floor once again.

We were almost at the car, when Kat insisted that I went back and helped Cecilia with her bags because, apparently, she seemed too tired to take care of it by herself.

I did not want to go, but I worried she would overthink it if I made a big deal out of helping my neighbor.

"Wait, Cee!" I got her to hold the doors for me just as they were about to close. "Kat said I should help you." I did not know how to act around her anymore and the silence we found ourselves in was once again very much awkward.

"So, where is Miranda then?" I was truly just trying to make it less awkward, but I clearly made things a whole lot worse.

She put her sunglasses down from the top of her head to cover her eyes, but I could still see the tears starting to form.

"Probably with her ex-husband now, not that I would know though. This fucking trip was all just a scheme to let me go easy. Apparently, her husband had agreed to her final... sapphic adventure before they got back together." For that I was not expecting at all.

"The fuck, so she spent the whole month playing the perfect girlfriend as she waited to break things up with you?" She just nodded, "That bitch!" I breathed it out as I let my back hit the wall of the elevator.

"That's not even all. She did it on my birthday. She said she was going to wait until our last day there, but she just couldn't take it anymore." This was a whole new level of messed up. How was I even supposed to leave her after that?

"Kat is waiting downstairs, let me just call her and reschedule and then we can do whatever you want, okay?" I was trying to be the supportive friend even if I did not feel like it was my job to do so anymore.

"No way. You go and have fun, I'll just sleep it off, I have to be done with this whole heartbreak drama by tomorrow, I've classes to teach. See you later." She basically shoved me out of the apartment by the time she was done talking.

I was left with a closed door staring back at me.

Not knowing what else to do I got back into the elevator to meet with my girlfriend who was waiting for me by my car. Although not before I did the only thing that came to mind—this time I had someone to call for help.

"Lucy, she is back. Miranda left her to get back with the husband. You should go to her." I left a voicemail to the younger sister seeing as she did not pick up my call.

And I knew it was all I would be able to do to help—at least for today.

"Ready?" I smiled to my girlfriend trying to hide my worries from her, today was our last day and I was not going to let anything fuck this up—not even myself.

"I was born ready, love." She was so tacky sometimes, yet I could not help but go to her instead of the driver's side so I could kiss her properly—at least for then, her kiss got my worries to vanish from my mind.

And just like that, she put a huge smile on my face—this girl was something else.

The rest of the afternoon I felt like I was on top of the world and nothing else mattered but Kat.

I was clearly starting to fall for her, even if in the beginning I had tried to take things slow—I think in the back of my mind I kept thinking it was best to wait until the professor got back, just to make sure about how I was feeling.

And by the time I drove Kat home I was fairly sure I was over the professor.

But once I was alone again in my apartment, forcing myself not to go down to the seventh floor and knock on a certain door, I realized my mind had once again been consumed by Cecilia, only this time I could not stop thinking that maybe my chance had finally arrived and this time I was the one dating someone else.

Fuck, I hate myself.

Remi

I did say you were too afraid to follow your own heart, you ended up breaking three. So just as Nay was number one, Kat had to be heart number two, although this one was on me as well. What a mess we made.