March 8, 2016

I wonder if people ever felt like they were hit by a tsunami, I mean, I know there are a shit ton of people who have literally been hit by one.

I guess what I am trying to figure out is, have they ever met someone who is just like one? So much so that this tsunami-person can make them feel like the air was knocked off their lungs and now everything inside burns as if they took one long breath of salty water.

It might seem like I am rambling here, but this mess of thoughts represents how I'm currently feeling, and whatever these feelings are, all I know is they leave me feeling like I am less.

To begin with, yesterday was an odd day.

The beginning of my morning was not all that Important, so I am just gonna skip the waking up foreplay.

I did take a huge amount of time to choose an outfit, but in the end, I was satisfied with myself, I knew I looked good—I intended to do so at least—with a navy-blue short-sleeve dress that ended just above my knees and ankle-lengths moccasin-boots along with my matching hobo bag, I felt like I could rule the world.

I knew I had an itinerary that morning, so by 7:20am I found myself knocking on Professor Bailey's door, even though in that moment I felt she would most likely make us both late—and I was not half wrong.

It did not take long for her to open the door and as she did, she uttered she would only be a minute as she rushed me in.

I helped myself to the couch where I had witnessed her breakdown just the day before, and as I looked around, I could definitely see the changes all over the living room.

The huge frame with the family picture was gone and a slightly smaller one of Cecilia was replacing it. With the Trevi Fountain as background, she looked younger and more carefree than I had ever seen, and I had seen the woman dirt biking.

There was nothing in the living room that screamed children anymore-I had noticed a few toys laying around the prior day.

Even the smaller frames that were scattered all over on Sunday seemed to be gone.

Out of all those details, the thing that got my attention the most was the frame on the wall. The professor seemed younger, I could no longer see any wrinkles on the end of her eyes, there were no bags under them as well and they seemed almost a golden color with the sunlight hitting them. Her hair was shorter and darker, with the apparent wind blowing on it, revealing a carefree aura that seemed to be overflowing her.

The baby-blue long-sleeve shirt under a white baggy trouser with paint all over it, made her look more like one of those hippie painters who sell their art at park, beaches and fairs than the successful law professor with impeccable record everyone seemed to faint over.

It was quite hard to take my eyes off the framed younger Cecilia. She was sucking me in. My eyes only diverted their attention from the picture when the clumsy professor herself passed me by as she ran around to get her things.

Her display served to confirm it would take a lot more than just one minute.

After 10 minutes or so she had her belonging in hands, crossing the corridor that led to the bedrooms as she adjusted her heels with her free hand.

I do not know how people are able to do that without falling down, as a matter of fact, she came close to it, but the tight walls from the corridor kept her from landing on her ass, I recall inquiring if she was always that clumsy, to which she only answered with her middle finger—guess she's not much of a morning person.

We were driving to campus and I was surprised we would get there early, not as early as I had intended, but still early enough that I would be able to choose my seat.

The professor spent most of the ride there doing her makeup, and every red light was an excuse to look her way. I could not comprehend why she would have that much trouble when she looked better than most do before noon, hell she looks better than most people do periodt.

I wondered, when had the carefree spirit from the picture become the uptight lawyer beside me?

Maybe I was staring too hard, I could sense the space between my eyebrows starting to tingle from all the frowning. Or perhaps she felt judged under my eyes. Either way I got caught as she stopped abruptly, the brush still wet of foundation, and turned her head sideways.

"You'd get it if you were thirty-eight, with bags under your eyes, a puffy nose, and you knew you were bound to get scrutinizing attention from your coworkers and students." Once she was done with her sassy remark, she gave me a curt pointed look before rolling her eyes and dramatically turning her attention back to the mirror in front of her.

I quivered my shoulders as I nodded, putting my attention back on the road, where it should have stayed in the first place.

What could I answer back to that, anyway? She was right and I knew it far too well, my classmates would surely be nosy, and I knew just how nasty and vicious faculty members could be-let's just say when I got out of the closet, my mother's so-called friends didn't mind hiding their disapproving glares.

I was just about to enter the students parking lot, when she told me to turn right instead of left, to where the staffs' entrance was located.

"You do realize if I get in with your credentials, they will automatically register my car to your access clearance, right?" I asked because I did not think she had thought that through. Guess back then she just did not mind, at first that is—I bet she is freaking out about it now.

"I can't be bothered to walk that much just to get to my classroom." She answered as she looked for her credential badge in her bag.

She bent over me flashing her badge to the security guy that was waiting impatiently by my window, "Good morning professor, go-good morning m-miss Ha-y-yes." He addressed the both of us, but made sure to avoid my eyes, I couldn't remember his name so I just nodded his way before closing my window and moving forward.

"He was abashedly flushed, perhaps he's infatuated by you." She insinuated with amusement in her voice, and I couldn't help but laugh of how wrong she was.

"He was like that because my mother did a huge fuss over security when she couldn't reach me on my phone on freshman year, and they were told to look for me all around campus. Let's just say Nero wasn't all that pleased when that one interrupted his class because 'someone's mommy was worried about their kid,' his words, not mine." I air-quoted with my free hand, as if the recalling were not embarrassing on its own, Professor Bailey seemed to be having the best time laughing at it.

It was not too hard to find my way around to her parking spot, especially since she was micromanaging my every move as I drove.

The closer we got to the law building the fasted she spoke and the more she looked around for bystanders, like they would be able to see anything inside my car, the windows were as tainted as legally possible.

It was a little annoying how much she worried about who might see her with me. It was only after I had parked that I was able to release my breath. Her attitude had gotten me worked up.

My shoulders felt stiffer than normal, and I was starting to feel cloistered inside the car. Before I could open the door to get out, she stopped me in a rushed manner that just helped me to feel even more claustrophobic.

"Wait! there are some students coming." She half screamed, half pleaded as she held my wrist, keeping me from opening the door.

Her torso was almost touching my own, and our faces had ended up too close from one another. Even though I would not have minded the proximity under normal circumstances, at that moment it felt like she was taking all the breathable air to herself.

Once the professor noticed the closeness, her whole body jolted back to her seat and not even all the applied makeup was able to cover the reddening of her cheeks from showing up.

Cecilia caught up that something was off.

She took a moment to examine my face before asking if I was feeling okay. I almost rolled my eyes at that, but then I remember the time she had told me about how complicated it would be if we got close, and I knew, if people saw her with me, they would assume a ton of shit and it would end up harming her image.

I tried taking a long breath, but even then, it still felt like I had not inhaled enough oxygen.

I would have probably lost my shit with her, had she not done something I was not expecting. She rested her hand on my forearm, running it up and down as if trying to sooth me, which did in fact work, enough so that I was able to calm down and explain myself.

"You were so vigilant and tense, it got me worked up." I could see the guilt on her face, and it made me feel awful that I was guilt tripping her, "I didn't mean it like that, I get why you were so worried about someone seeing you with me. You warned me you didn't do buddies with students."

I tried to reassure her, but inside I kind of hoped she would say something to let me know it no longer apply to me—she never said anything back though.

Now, after everything that happened the past forty-eight hours, I can see how naïve I was to expect that.

She looked around once more, never saying anything back to my statement, all I got in return was a lame apologetic smile—yesterday I thought it meant she was sorry for how her reaction had affected me, but now I guess she was just sorry about how stupid I was to think we had bonded at all.

We stayed silent for about a minute as a couple students passed by my car before she was safe there was no one else around.

Although Cecilia did not want people to see us arriving together, she did not seemed half as worried about them seeing us walking to class together, and that made me feel a little less shitty—I had thought it was her way of compensating me for the car incident.

Walking up the stairs together was not half as weird as I expected, and even if we weren't exactly chatting, it wasn't uncomfortable.

"You know, we are really early, earlier than your usual." I looked at my phone just to check the time, "It's not even ten past eight yet. You should probably give people five minutes after the standard time just to make sure." I got a little hesitant to say the next part because I could see in her face, she had yet to grasp my point.

"It's just... I've come to notice... that most people count on you... on your tardiness," I was so nervous I almost did not see the devilishly smirk that formed on the corner of her mouth.

"It's rather cute when you get all worried you are going to say something that might end up offending me." I surely was not expecting her to call me cute, let alone doing so while looking at me with a face that remarked nothing close to professional, I'm pretty sure she was flirting, out of habit, that is.

She seemed to be flavoring the effect it was having on my uncontrollable pinkish cheeks.

"Ten years on the job has taught me that I can either come in early and wait for my students to inevitably be late for class, or I can be the one to get in late and this way no one misses the first few minutes."

Even if she had spent the night crying. Even if she felt like crap after the terrible breakup she had gone through just the day prior. Even if she had put on makeup just to keep people from noticing her fragility.

Even so, whenever she spoke about her work, it did not matter how minimal or insignificant what she was saying was, her whole body lightened up and the alluring mysterious woman from my first day of class reemerged to remind me of just how charming she could be.

We walked inside the classroom and the lights were still off. While I walked to my usual seat, she took a detour from her table to the light switch. Once the lights were on and she had discarded her things on her table, the professor took her phone off of her bag and as she seemed to be checking her messages, I could see the once confident face turning into a mixture of pain and anger.

I figured I would give her some time alone and leave to buy myself some tea, but she beat me to it, leaving the classroom before I could even properly get out of my seat.

I could see her leaning on the doorframe as she typed fiercely on her phone. I could also see another student outside going back and forth seeming to be unsure how to approach and ask her to get out of the way.

Her hair was blocking me from seeing her face, but I bet it looked intimidating seeing as the boy outside seemed almost scared to ask her to move. I chucked at that as I looked for my wallet inside my bag.

Once I decided I had everything I needed, I figured I could go get my tea and help the frightened boy outside, and as I walked to the door, I was able to get a glimpse of the professor's face.

Her eyes were watery, but it did very little to soften the mean look she had on. I figured it had to be the doctor giving her a headache—lame joke, but so true though.

I tapped on her shoulder to get her attention, which got me a soul-reaper look before she asked me what I wanted.

I almost laughed at her somewhat tantrum attitude, but I contained myself once I noticed we had no longer one, but five students waiting for her to step out of their way and enjoying the little show she was giving them unknowingly.

I gave her a knowing look, pointing to the other students, "I am sorry Professor Bailey, but could you please, maybe, move a little out of the way?" she looked at me funny maybe because I was being formal, but soon enough took the hint.

Without saying anything, but nodding in acknowledgment to the students, she walked farther away from the classroom entrance to a corner that was mostly unoccupied and went back to typing on her phone.

I ran down the stairs, as some people passed me by going on the opposite direction, thankful that the vending machine I got my tea from was just beside the bottom of the stairs.

There were about three people in line, so while I waited my turn I checked my phone and saw Amy had messaged me saying she would sleep over my place someday this week because she had a test early the next morning and didn't want to be late. I didn't think much of it and just told her to let herself in with the key I had given her—it was meant for emergencies only, but so far we had ever only used it out of convenience, big mistake though.

As I walked back upstairs with my berry fusion tea, I saw the clock on my phone screen read 8:25, which meant class was about to start.

I half expected to see the professor seating by her desk, but once I reached the door, I noticed she was nowhere in sight. Still outside the classroom I looked both sides of the corridor in hope of spotting her.

I almost missed her, but then remembered she went to the one spot people usually ignored, that was when I saw she was leaning on the wall trying to calm herself.

I looked around again, this time to check if no one was paying attention, and as expected they were either chatting among themselves or going inside their respective classrooms as the other professors approached.

Once I was sure the coast was clear, I walked her way, and the closer I got the clear it became that she was trying to force some tears back.

"I know I am gonna sounda little bit like a bitch, but you need to suck it up and pull yourself together." I said stopping right in front of her to block the view just in case someone decided to be nosy.

"Little bit might be the understatement of the year." She answered back but I could see the ghost of a smile on her face as she breathed in harder successfully avoiding the tears from falling down her cheeks.

I waited a little longer until she seemed like herself again and told her it was almost time for class to start. I turned around to leave and give her some time alone before she had to walk in.

"Can you believe she wants to go over today to gather the rest of their belongings? Like, can I at least get some time to mourn before I have to face her again?" she caught me off guard, and, out of surprise, stupid me offered to help.

"Just tell her you won't be home today and that she can go over tomorrow to pick up whatever it is she wants." I told her in hope it would help, "I can stay there while she gets her stuff so this way you won't have to meet her." She smiled my way but it seemed hopeless.

With another long breath she complained, "I would still be home, I only teach Family Law, and the mediations haven't started yet so tomorrow I'll be home."

Had I known my next idea would cause so much trouble, I would definitely take it back, but yesterday it seemed harmless.

"You can wait at mines while she is there, also she already knows me, so it won't be that weird." She gave me a pointed look and I had to agree, "Okay, it will be plenty weird, and she will probably say you outed her to me, which you didn't. And she is my doctor with whom I have other appointments all throughout the year, but really, I can handle it, or at least I can handle it better than you." That got her laughing and the glow in her eyes was less dead.

We agreed on my plan and walked side by side to the classroom.

Most students had still to arrive when we got inside, but Cecilia was having none of it, she had already given them more than enough time to be late and still make it in time for her lesson.

Her lesson—just like the other two I had after that—was pretty much uneventful, there was, of course, some jock that got in late to her class and tried to play it off by disrupting her line of thought as he threw a lame pass on her by complimenting her looks.

She did give him an amazing comeback though, about how she had not worked years on her résumé to be acknowledged by her looks. But apart from that it was pretty much the same old thing.

It was after my last class was over and I had to go to my car, I recollected we had not discussed if she would be riding back home with me.

I did not have her number and asking for her on the front desk was not exactly an option, as if I was going to be talking about carpooling in front of a bunch of faculty clerks.

I figured my best option would be to walk to my car and hope she would be waiting for me there, because otherwise I had no idea how to reach her to check if she needed a ride.

Luck for me she was seating by the bench in front of her parking spot, but she was not alone.

When she caught herself in that situation and noticed someone would know she was riding with a student and she would have to explain herself, well, she wasn't very please.

It turned out that the person she was with was the one person who would not give her shit about it. I knew he would no doubt give it to me though.

"I knew it had to be your Wrangler, no one else has that much bad taste in cars." Nero said making fun of my car, truth be told, he didn't know two shits about cars—Harley though, it was a whole different level of passion.

I looked Cecilia's way in hope for a hint on how to proceed, but she was beyond reachable, and seemed to be panicking all on her own.

"Nice to see you too." I said reaching for a hug, and once he was close enough, he whispered in my ear, "I know the both of you too well to refrain from thinking something is going on between you. You should definitely be more careful if she intends to keep her image status quo."

I hated that he was so on point about her status quo even if there was nothing going on between her and I.

"She's my neighbor, that's all. Please play it cool. I was hoping to keep my head where it is, and I know she will freak out about it." I whispered back before he leaned back to give me a mocking look. Nonetheless he respected my request and just played dumb.

The other professor in our presence seemed to be coming to senses about the same time Nero and I were done with our secret conversation.

"I didn't know you two were that close." Cecilia mentioned clearly trying to divert his attention. "This one is Amelia's kid. I'm sure you remember her. I think she was your professor when you were in grad."

Nero answered Cecilia's veiled question, "Oh, she knows. She also knows how much of a joke you turned me into on freshman year." I tried to play it cool and the little banter between Nero and I seemed to be calming her nerves.

I guess he did take my plea in consideration, because before it could get awkward, he excused himself. To my surprise my mom was his way out.

"I should get going, I'm having lunch with your mother, and we know how much of a pain in the ass she can be when it comes to punctuality." He was not lying there, "Good to know mother didn't bail on me to have lunch with her friends, I much rather it be you."

I was rather surprised my dear mother had a lunch date with a man her age, even if they were just friends, that was not at all usual, also, I was glad she did not cancel on me because of her annoying fake friends.

We bid our goodbyes briefly and soon enough both Cecilia and I were on our way out of campus.

"So, you are okay with your mother dating one of your former professors?" The professor seemed more curious then worried about my feelings, but I humored her anyways.

"It really isn't my business who she decides to date, but I doubt it is anything serious, at least not yet. Mom has been mourning my father's passing for years, it's only the first time I hear of her having any sort of dating life." Cecilia has that sort of effect on people, she can make you feel like you could tell her anything.

She seemed pleased enough with my answer and we fell back into comfortable silence once more, or so I thought.

It only took her about half the drive, which was not all that much considering how close we lived, before she spoke again.

"Do you have any plans right now?" her question took me by surprised. She had leaned back on her seat and looked a lot like the carefree woman from the frame I had seen earlier that morning.

But as fast as that mirage came, it went away.

She seemed to have thought something that served only to make her tense all over again and before I could say anything, she beat me to it, "Forget I asked, I was just thinking out loud."

That woman is many levels of intricate, even so, I thought it did not hurt to answer, "No I don't, why's that?" But all she did was struggle and brush the subject away.

The rest of the drive was spent pretty much the same way it did on our way to campus, at least on my part.

The professor intrigued me, and I could not help but look her way every chance I got. The more I looked the more what Amy had said in the beginning of the semester hit me, she was right.

Amy was so damn right, and it made me angry that I had let myself get in that situation.

I did feel more than just attraction to the woman besides me, and I surely would willingly get into a lot of trouble for the chance to have something with her, because she seemed worth it—now thinking back what my thoughts were on that car drive I just feel stupid to even consider it.

Turning off the engine I was finally able to notice, how beaten I felt, and how much I wished for my bed to be closer. It took me a while to even consider opening the door to leave the car.

"Are you sure you can help me tomorrow? I don't want to take you from your classes." I had both forgotten she was there and that I was supposed to help with her ex.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I don't have any classes. Some huge name on Criminal Law is giving a speech tomorrow." I turned to her we both cringed at the word Criminal.

We got out of the car and walked side by side to the elevator, that was thankfully right in front of my parking spot. "Thank you, it really means a lot. I think she is bond to come over around noon, but I'll check with her." The professor said before walking inside the elevator.

"No problem, this way I can sleep in. God knows I need it." It was close to 2 pm, but for my body it felt like 2 am.

"I guess I should also get your number?" She implied in an uncertain way, "So I can text you if she decides to come some other time."

I gave her my number as I held the door to the elevator on her floor and we said our goodbyes before the door closed.

The rest of my day was spent eating whenever my alarm reminded me to, studying in between and wishing I could throw it all up and just go to bed already.

Cecilia never texted me to confirm the time, so I figured noon it was, and by the time I felt like I had studied enough it was already close to 10 pm.

I took a quick shower before bed, glad I was finally able to go to sleep. I guess it did not take me long to fall asleep.

By the time I woke up my phone screen read 10:30 am, along with a shit ton of messages, all from Amy, though I figured I could read them after I was ready to go down to Cecilia's place.

I stayed on my bed for another 5 minutes or so before I mustered the courage to start my day.

Through the window I could see the sun was faintly shining as the sky turned into a dark grayish color, and it made me happy to know it would be raining soon. I loved the smell of rain, and I loved it even more knowing I would not be getting an unwanted shower at campus.

I figured I would spoil myself and make some descent breakfast for a change.

I was happily surprised when I discovered my refrigerator was stacked. Amy surely was one of the good ones, maybe that was why I liked having her over so much. I sure as hell did not have the time nor the energy to get out to do grocery shopping.

I did not exactly know how long it would take for the doctor to get all her things out of Cecilia's place, so I figured I'd make myself some fruit salad and a sandwich, just in case.

I ate in silence by my kitchen counter. I loved the lack of noise, it made me feel at peace—maybe this is what people mean by the calm before the storm, if only I had figured it out sooner.

I was about done with my food when I noticed it was cutting too close to noon. I changed and headed down to the seventh floor taking my phone and keys with me as well as my headphones-not like I intended on keeping a conversation with my doctor who also happened to be my professor/neighbor's ex, like, honestly, one just have to read it to figure out that is not the best situation.

I figured it would be faster to take the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, and good thing I did, or I would have probably gotten there too late. The professor was already leaving her apartment when I got there.

"Hey, sorry I took too long, I lost track of time." I said a little out of breath. " It's okay, I figured I could just go to yours and give you the keys." She showed me the keys on her right hand.

She was a little overdressed for what we had planned, but maybe it was just one of those things where you must dress up a little so you can throw it on your ex's face that you are doing better than they are, but then again, the plan was for them not to see each other at all.

"Are you still going to wait at my place, or are you going somewhere?" I asked looking her up and down and I noticed a little bit of color taking place on her cheeks, "No, I'm just going to wait at yours if that's still okay with you." She avoided my eyes as she answered that.

I was about to press further on her outfit when I noticed the elevator was coming up and it was already on third floor, "I think you better get going then." I pointed with my eyes to the number over the elevator, "Here, the keys, make yourself at home, there is food on the fridge if you feel like eating, I will meet you there once she leaves."

I rushed her to the stairs, as I handed her my keys and took hers from her hand. The door to the elevator opened just as Cecilia came out of view, and a very much surprised doctor appeared inside the elevator clearly overdressed and expecting to meet her ex to rub it on her face. Cecilia so did not tell her about me.

I smiled at the infamous Miranda Myers as she stepped out of the elevator to greet me, "I thought you said you and Ceci weren't all that close." She stated with a very different tone from the one she had used at my appointment, it was no longer warm and inviting, but rather accusatory and possessive, she seemed almost... jealous.

"Guess having similar breakup stories does the trick to bring people closer together, if you know what I mean." I fired back just as sharply, and even if I wasn't half as well dressed as her, I felt just as powerful. For the first time my youth felt like a blessing, rather than a pain in my ass.

I didn't mean for what I said to sound like I was helping Cecilia with her breakup in a more... carnal way, but Doctor Myers sure took my comment that way.

"Shall we?" I said as neutral as I could pointing to the door before using the keys to unlock it. "She never let me have a key, even though I lived here. I guess I was really just a guest." The doctor was fishing to see how much I knew about them, I could feel it.

"Trust is something that must go both ways." I have no idea why I felt so territorial and sounded so harsh. Maybe it was because every time I looked at her, I was reminded of how she had treated Cecilia on the day they broke up.

I walked to the couch and helped myself to it not minding much for courtesies and pleasantries as I let the doctor fend for herself.

"Look I don't know what she told you about us, but I can assure you I am the one suffering the most." I almost let out an evil laugh but refrained from it and chose a much better comeback.

"First of all, she didn't tell me shit, I know a Narnian when I see one, and your kind usually uses being closeted as an excuse to treat the ones who care about them the most like complete shit." I could not even take her seriously.

"You either do it to the people who don't know about you because you can't take having to lie about who you are, or you do it to the ones who do know because you feel like the fact they know who you really are makes you vulnerable to being outed, even if you know they would never do that. But judging by how you didn't care on making both Cecilia and your youngest cry on Sunday, I would say you are the worse of your kind. The one who treats both like shit." I could see the shock all over her face before turning my attention to my phone.

The woman had guts, after my verbal slap she seemed to have taken the hint and gotten on with what she was there to do.

After almost an hour gathering various things, I guess the itch on the doctor's ego had lessened. She walked hands full back to the living room, took one last look around before addressing me again, "She didn't waste any time erasing us from her life."

Her eyes remained fixed on the frame that had taken the place to where once stood a family picture. I felt pity for her.

"You know... actually, you probably don't, so let me explain this to you. When someone who isn't in the closet gets themselves in a relationship with someone who is as closeted as you are, the person who has long been out has to walk down a dark path and close a door behind them that was previously ajar." I gave her a few seconds to take it in.

"Although it may seem okay, people end up losing part of their identity by doing that. If this place looks different, it's because it reflects its owner, and instead of pruning them, it does the opposite, it compliments her, which is what you should have done to begin with." I tried to sound as friendly as possible, but who was I kidding?

She looked at me defeated and it occurred to me she had never once stopped to consider Cecilia's side before that very moment.

"I didn't tell you this to guilt trip you, just take the advice, because if you get another shot at finding someone like her, you better decide what you will be willing to do to make it work, because it looks to me that she gave her all in this relationship and all she got back were crumbs of you. And no one deserves to be a secret well hidden."

By the time I was done talking she was close to crying, so I decided it was best to leave it at that and just show her the way out.

I waited until I was sure the elevator had reached the first floor to go up to my apartment. If I thought the drama was over though, I was certainly not right.

As I reached the last step of the stairs all I could hear was an overly excited Amy shouting, "Sweetie, I am home." It was kind of an inside joke she did whenever she came over.

Before I could even stop her from seeing who was inside, Cecilia made herself known, "Oh my God, you ought to be kidding me!" Well, she was pissed.

"You know what this could do to my career. Why the hell did you not tell me you lived with another student?" by then the professor was shouting right on my face, completely ignoring Amy's presence.

"Chill out Professor Bailey, it's all cool." Amy said in her usual carefree tone, which in fact only served to fuel Cecilia's anger. "Oh, that's just great, she knows exactly who I am." The professor took her keys off my hand before showing herself out.

I told Amy to shut up and stay put before running after the professor.

"Please, let me explain." I held onto Cecilia's arm to stop her from leaving. "I live alone, Amy is my closest friend, she has the key, but I had no idea she would be coming over today. I'm so sorry that's happened but I can assure you, she would never do anything to harm you."

I could see in her eyes she wanted to believe me. But Amy just had to be Amy.

"She's saying the truth, I won't say shit." Amy said in a childish tone. I scolded her for not staying put as I had told her to, and in return she gave me the finger before getting back inside.

"And I should just take your word because, clearly she is a tamable one." The professor fired back with as much sass as humanly possible, before yanking her arm from my grip and leaving in a very diva manner.

And that was how I wished the week had never started to begin with.

It was only Tuesday and I had already managed to: most likely lose my doctor; jeopardize any chance of getting good grades in Family Law, as if she wouldn't take it out on me like that; managed to end a friendship before it even started; and probably hurt my closest friend by trying to amend things with the newest one, who doesn't even consider me a friend at all.

Am I good at making messes or not? Well, at least if I intended on working with Family Law, I had just gotten my PhD on drama.

Remi

I wish I had had no expectations; I wish I could understand the inside of your head. I really wished you would learn to listen, but I guess that is just another wish I didn't get, and it sucks it took you three years too long to learn to communicate.