March 6, 2016

Today was anything but average.

It was the first day in over two weeks in which I was able to wake up feeling completely rested and migraine-free. Clearly the medication Doctor Myers had prescribed was working better and faster than I had expected.

Amy left on Friday to spend the weekend at her mother's, which meant I was alone, and even though I loved Amy like a sister, it felt refreshing to wake up without her making noise around the kitchen. The solitude and silence were blessings and they helped me to feel brand new.

What really made this day a whole lot different was what happened after I decided to leave my abode.

Today was going to be a good day, I knew it as soon as I woke up well rested and the sun coming through the window hit my face without any sign of discomfort. The refreshing feeling along with my good humor made me realize the day should not be spent inside doing nothing.

As I walked to the kitchen to eat yogurt and fruits, I unlocked my phone to google something to do, something out of ordinary.

After a while I found out there was a new dirt biking track in town for adults only, which meant all the childish fun without the child part.

I figured a simpler outfit would suffice, since it was not a cold day—in fact it was rather lukewarm—and I would end up with a protective gear once I got there. I dressed into a black high-waisted legging with mesh sides, a plain red V-neck t-shirt, and matching sneakers.

My hair was not much different, it was growing bigger, about an inch or two over my shoulder, and seeing as I didn't want it to become a bird's nest once I put the helmet on, I secured it in a firm ponytail.

It took me an hour to get myself ready before leaving my apartment, and by then the clock was reading 11:30am. I would not be hungry anytime soon, I also did not want to go to the track when the sun would most likely make me melt inside the protective gear, but for the first time in over two weeks I felt confident to drive myself around again, which meant I was not about to get back inside just to wait for time to pass.

I pressed the elevator's button and waited for it to get to my floor, but it was taking too long and the panel on top of it showed it was being held on the seventh floor, people just do not get how inconvenient it is to hold on to the elevator's door for so long when there is only one working elevator for the whole damn building.

It would not budge, and after waiting for 10 minutes, I figured I would take the stairs to the seventh floor and get the elevator from there, maybe it would help whoever it was to realize they were being jerks.

As I write it now, I can see that deep down my idea revolved mostly around the chance of it being Professor Bailey, although I do not think I was prepared to admit it this morning.

I ran down the stairs, not because I was in a rush, but just because my newfound energy was making me a little too excited to do something as simple as going down the stairs.

I slowed my pace once I noticed there were people screaming at each other followed by a childlike cry. I knew I should have kept going all the way down to the garage and just pretended I had not heard anything, but curiosity got the best of me once I distinguished Professor Bailey's voice as the one pleading for the other person to stay, so I hid myself behind the half open fire door.

"We are over. You are unable to put yourself in my shoes! You have been out to your family since you were young, but I am a forty-five-year-old mother of two, who up until a year ago, to my family's eyes, was as straight as they come. It isn't that simple for me to just come out, maybe your field and family are more accepting, but mines aren't!"

I knew that voice and it took me by surprise, it sounded a fucking lot like Doctor Myers's. Professor Bailey, well, I had my suspicions about, but the almighty doctor Miranda Myers, that was... revealing.

The doctor did not stop there, and as I looked through the crack between the wall and the door, I could see her back facing me and a desperate Cecilia with the cute little girl—whose name I can't be bothered to remember—from the other day in her arms as both of them cried hugging each other.

"I am over you forcefully pulling me out of a closet I didn't even fathom existed until we got closer again. Now please, we are leaving, so don't come looking for us." The doctor voiced in a sober voice, much different from when she first started.

She pulled her arms forward to get her daughter from Cecilia's arms and told her older daughter to let go of the door to the elevator. Professor Bailey stayed still as she cried in front of the closed elevator's door.

I knew I should leave and let her alone in her sorrow. She was vulnerable and had just gone through a very intimate breakup, not to mention she did tell me how she did not want us getting closer. Yet I could not get myself to leave, I felt the guilt over eavesdropping, but I knew I would feel a lot worse if I did not at least try to lend her a shoulder to cry on. I knew exactly how she was feeling.

I could see the door of her neighbor half opened and I knew they were just preying on the situation out of curiosity. I decided it was best I helped rather than the nosy neighbor whose only concern was to hear a juicy story about their gay front-door neighbor's.

It was only after I opened the very boisterous fire door that I was able to notice how out of it the professor was.

I tried to be as smooth as possible as I touched her shoulder as she had yet to acknowledge she was not alone.

She did not jump from my touch, nor tensed, all she did was look at me with helpless eyes before letting my hand bring her closer to embrace her as she hugged herself as if to keep from completely breaking down at the hall.

I whispered in her ear to follow me before leading the both of us to the opened door of her apartment.

She sat on her couch, looking to the framed picture on the wall, it consisted of herself, Doctor Myers, and the doctor's daughters. As she hugged her legs while sobbing like a defenseless child.

I could not help but think about how even the strongest of us were helpless to the harm a broken heart is able to inflict. I helped myself around the kitchen to get her a glass of water, which took me a while to find.

Once I did find it and had already poured some water in, I stopped by the kitchen's doorframe with the glass in hands to assess the situation displaying in front of my eyes.

It was hard to believe the ever so confident woman I knew to be my professor was able to get that much lost and vulnerable.

"Here, it will help get your breathing back to normal." I said handing her the water and she obeyed without any protest.

I got my phone from the kitchen counter where I had left it and the clock read 12:55am. I was getting hungry, and I did not exactly know what to do in that situation.

We were not friends, which meant I did not know any of her friends or family members who I could call to stay with her, but I also did not feel like asking her and making her feel like she was being a burden.

I figured she had yet to eat. That kind of argument does not just start out of nowhere. They were probably at it since they woke up.

I also knew, out of own experience, she was not going to feel hungry anytime soon, but she had to eat, and so did I.

"Hey, I know you don't feel like eating right now, and you won't feel like it anytime soon, but you have to, so we can either order something or we can go out to get a bite, that's as much of a choice I'm giving you. Which one is gonna be?" I patiently waited for her to reply.

We spent a couple minutes with the silence taking over and I was starting to doubt she had even listened to what I had said. I was about to repeat myself when she rubbed her face clean of the tears and looked up to meet my eyes.

"I can't stay here. Everything reminds me of them." I felt bad for her, the place was covered in family pictures.

"That is the understatement of the year. Out it is then, you should get cleaned before we leave though." I said sitting down on the couch and pointing her to the corridor that led to the rooms.

She stopped in the middle of the corridor before looking back at me, "You look like you were going somewhere, I don't want to hold you back."

"Nonsense, I can include you in my plans." I said back with a toothless smile, and she nodded without any more protests. "And wear something casual!" I shouted so she was able to hear from the room.

I could hear the water from the shower running as I played on my phone, that is, until it started to ring.

"Hi mom." I didn't intend to, but thinking back, I probably sounded annoyed. "You are always so darling answering my calls." She retorted, as sarcastically as ever, "Nevertheless, I just wanted to know if you have any plans for today. I thought we could have lunch today because I won't be able to do it tomorrow."

I breathed in harshly, it was just typical of my mother to make last-minute plans and expect me to be free, "I actually have plans already, mother." I answered her as Cecilia walked past me towards the kitchen giving me an inquisitive look.

My mother asked me something about it being a date, but I could not focus on what she was saying while the professor was in front of me with no makeup on, her hair in a messy bun still very much wet, and a simple outfit like my own. She looked nice and I felt dirty for thinking like a horn dog when she was most likely feeling like shit.

"What?! No mom, just a friend!" I answered once I noticed what my mother had implied. As I looked again to see what the professor was up to, I saw her taking a Tylenol.

"Don't sound so defensive, the person you are with might actually believe you are putting them on the friendzone thing." She answered back taunting me before hanging up.

Cecilia got her phone and wallet from the dining table, before opening the front door, "Are you okay? Your face is all red." She sounded concerned which only helped to increase my embarrassment.

"I am okay, my mother can be a little too intruding," Was all I said before walking out and leaving her to close the door as I went to press for the elevator.

"Oh. I can relate to that." I couldn't help but laugh a little as she closed the door. I sort of wanted to press on the matter so I could get to know her, but I knew it would have to be a talk for another day.

Once inside my car, as she was fastening her seatbelt she recalled about my migraines and asked me if I was okay to drive. I could feel myself tensing up, so I stayed quiet as I turned on the engine and I guess she figured it meant I had gone to see Doctor Myers, because she opened her mouth in an O shape before resting her head on the window averting her gaze.

I did not know what she liked to eat, so I used that as an excuse to make her take her mind off the events of her breakup, "How do you feel about Italian?" I gently touched her shoulder to get her attention.

"Anything is fine. I don't really feel like eating though." She answered back without taking her eyes from the street.

"Look, I know what you are going through..." she scoffed interrupting me, probably thinking what a twenty-year-old could know about that kind of break up.

"I mean it Cecilia. I moved to a new apartment because my old one was in the same building as my ex's. We were one of those high school on-again off-again relationships, and in one of those offs she ended up getting pregnant. So, don't think for a second that just because I'm younger than you I haven't had my fair share of fucked up experiences because you will be wrong."

I was a little pissed at her for judging me when I was only trying to help, "Anyways, what I meant to say was that you have to eat even if you don't feel like it, no one is worth you starving yourself." By then I was able to get her attention and she nodded at me with sorry eyes.

"Don't worry about it, I know we can feel like we are the only ones to ever have experienced such pain and we end up thinking no one will be able to understand just how much it hurts." I assured her before turning off the engine.

I had taken us to the Italian place Amy and I usually go to. Once we walked inside the waitress complimented me as she pointed to my usual table at the back. We sat down and the same waitress handed a menu for Cecilia, she knew I always ordered the same thing, so it was no use handing me one as well.

After a while going through the whole menu, she gave up, "I really don't feel like eating, everything just seems like too much for me to handle." She gave me a guilty look, and instead of answering her I turned my attention back to the girl standing by our table and ordered a lasagna with spinach pasta, for us to share and two sodas.

I turned back to the professor only to see she was glaring at me, "I'd much rather some wine." I shook my head laughing at her small tantrum.

"First of, no one should drink when they are in a bad place, and you are definitely not in a good one right now. Second of, I can't drink anymore because of my medication, I figured you could do me the courtesy of accompanying me in this sobriety torment." She looked at me with mocking guilty eyes before muttering something that resembled a giggle.

I was content with that response considering the circumstances.

Our food came and it took almost an hour for her to eat half of what she had on her plate. I was pleased though because I knew even though it was not much it would be able to keep her standing.

"Anyhow, what are you planning on doing after this?" She questioned as she played with her food.

"Have you ever gone dirt biking before?" I was half worried she would get too scared and bail on me to go back to her sorrow, but I guess brokenhearted Cecilia Bailey is an adventurous one.

Her caramel eyes grew bigger with excitement, and her lips parted open, "I have never been on a motorcycle before." She sounded more astounded than scared and it made me laugh.

"There is a first time for everything. Don't worry though, we will get you all sorts of protective gear, you will look one fine biker in those." I mocked her earning a fake slap on my arm in return.

The drive to the track took about half an hour since it was just out of town, the professor did not seem to mind it though. After a little over 5 minutes inside the car she fell asleep resting her head on the window, I was probably right about her argument with the doctor being an all-nighter.

At one point, as we got stuck in traffic—probably from people getting back to their own cities, seeing as we lived where most people went for vacation, or in this case, weekends—, I got the chance to inspect her face.

She looked tired, with bags under her eyes. Her face looked blanched, even her freckles seemed lighter due to her paleness. Her nose though had much more color, with a nice shade of red covering it as result of all the crying from earlier.

Even then she looked beautiful, and I felt a little envious of her for managing to look that good after a breakdown.

Once we got to the track, I left her sleeping in the car for a little bit as I went inside to pay for the equipment and our bikes, I knew it would leave me pretty much broken for the rest of the month, but I felt like she deserved being spoiled after the trashy morning she had endured.

I walked back to the car and to my surprise she was standing outside of it looking at one of the easier tracks while someone practiced on it.

I got closer, and whispered close to her ear, "Ready for that?" I did not imagine she would be so jumpy, and it made me laugh when she got so frighten by the sudden proximity, she ended up falling on her butt as a failed attempt of a step back.

"Fucking shit! You scared the hell out of me. Fuck!" I had to hold my stomach of how much I was laughing.

She got up all on her own before slapping me multiple times on my arm making me run away from her crazy self, "Chill woman, I know you are old and all but the times of disciplining your students with violence are over." I mocked her, but all it got me was one final slap before she crossed her arms in front of her torso.

"Who you calling old? For your information I was the younger one to ever graduate in that University." She said defensively and I nodded to let her know I knew of it already.

"Everyone studying law there knows about it, you don't need to fish for a compliment, I know you are smart." I answered back making her blush.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Cecilia falling off her bike after every turn she took, and me bathing her with mud as I passed her sorry ass on the floor.

I could tell she felt less shitty by the time we went out of the track to get rinsed before getting inside to take off the protective gear.

It was around sundown when we got inside the car to leave, "Thank you for taking me today, I wouldn't be able to teach tomorrow if I had stayed in crying my eyes out." She touched my arm in gratitude as I drove back to the main road.

"It's no problem, you gave me company. I am positive it wouldn't have been half as much fun if I didn't have you to bury under all that mud." I laughed as I tried to lighten her mood, which earned me yet another slap on the arm.

"You do know my arm isn't your personal punching bag, right?" I joked and she gave me a sincere apologetic look, "Sorry, I get a little carried away, it's a bad habit I got from having an annoying younger sister." I nodded to that, it was one thing I could relate to.

"I don't have any siblings, but I do have fifteen cousins on my father's side, and I am the youngest, I know just how your sister felt." I said making her really laugh out loud for the first time all day.

The rest of the ride was spent in a comfortable silence, which I found odd considering our weird habit of uncomfortable moments in silence.

The drive back to our building was faster, and before I knew it, we were back and her sorrow along with us.

"Do you think you could give me a ride tomorrow? Miranda was supposed to drive me, because my car is getting repaired, but..." I interrupted her before she went down the rabbit hole.

"Sure thing. You'll have to wake up early though, I am a front row kind of student, and the frat boys get in there too early to ogle all over you." I said crunching my face in disgust to which she reciprocated.

"I much rather have you on my front row than those kids... I mean, not that I think of you as a child... your classmates are just a little too much for my liking," She rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"How much early though?" the professor inquired, and in return I said it would be around 7:45am.

To that I got a surprised expression out of her, I do not know if she was surprised over how early I woke up or over me doing so just to be able to get the seat I desired. If only she knew my true reasons for such trouble.

We said our goodbyes once the elevator stopped on her floor, and before I let go of the elevator door, I told her to knock on my door if she needed anything.

Today surely was the furthest thing from average, and even with all the heartbreak and mess involved, I was glad the professor had given me a chance to get closer.

She was just the kind of person that made you want to befriend them, and it was nice to feel like I had at least one neighbor to run to if I ever needed anything.

Remi

Did you know back then you were going to turn my world upside down? Did you plan on turning me into your punching bag from day one? Can you at least begin to see now how confusing you were? You have seen the warm, and now you need to prepare yourself to see what cold looks like.