I have never written a full chapter from Jax's perspective so I hope I don't suck at it haha.

. . .

Jax saw that something was bothering Shane. He was never very present, but this time he seemed completely lost in his own little world. The first days he hadn't paid a lot of attention to it, but his eyes kept drifting to the staring glance of the boy. Usually he would have asked the kid's sponsor what was going on, but Chibs wouldn't be around the clubhouse today. For a moment he considered to ask Juice. Still he shook off that thought. He was the club president; he was supposed to be concerned with its members, also when they were not his biggest fans. Maybe it was about time to rise above it, as a leader. The well-being of his men was important, also that of the prospect.

"Shane." With a hand gesture he told the boy to come to him. He had been busy swiping the floor, but Jax had already seen that he'd swept up the same spot four times now. The fingers of the kid tensed around the broomstick when he looked at Jax, his face turning into a straight mask. Nevertheless, he put the broom against the wall and walked over to him. Jax turned around and led him to Chapel. Usually prospects weren't allowed to come in, but it was one of the few places that were soundproof. He might need that.

He sat down at the head of the table and motioned for Shane to sit down on the chair next to him. Shane's eyes went wide. 

"This ain't an official meeting," Jax explained. He respected the traditions, but now and then the formal stuff was annoying him. For once he just wanted to have a frank conversation with the kid. He had never done that and it was actually bothering him. Ever since the prospect had pointed a gun to his head, there had been revulsion when he looked at the boy. Still, he must honestly admit that if he had to pick a prospect to have on his side when the whole world was going to hell, he'd choose Shane. When it came down to it, he knew what to do. It was just difficult to read the guy. At some moments he was a bastion of temperance, at other moments he had a short fuse, challenging everyone's authority. 

Shane pulled back a chair and took a seat. He didn't look nervous, as many boys might have done in his place. The kid studied his face. There was a darkness in his eyes, as if he was preparing to get lectured and was working on his defense. 

"How are you?" Jax asked.

Shane raised his eyebrows. 

Yeah, Jax also heard how stupid it sounded, since he had been spewing on him for weeks. Even now, annoyance flared up because the prospect was just staring him down instead of answering his question.

"Listen kid. I know you and I aren't in the best place right now, but I am the president of this club and I can tell you're distracted. So I got to know why, it's simple as that. At the end of the day I do feel responsible for you, like I feel responsible for all my men. So tell me, what's botherin' you?"

"You really need to ask?" Shane huffed. For a moment anger shimmered in his eyes, or maybe it was something else, like pain, then the prospect bent his head as if he wanted to hide his feelings. He stared at his hands. 

"If I didn't need to ask, I wouldn't have done so."

Shane heaved a deep sigh. He didn't raise his head. For a moment Jax thought that he would flatly ignore him again, then he muttered: "The baby is dead."

"The baby?" Jax repeated, feeling confused. 

"Roosevelt's."

Jax cursed himself for not connecting the dots himself. A few days had passed since they'd come to learn that Rita had survived the attack, but that the child couldn't be saved. "You did everything you could, Shane."

The boy didn't look up. His voice sounded cold when he answered: "It's not myself I'm blaming."

Jax wasn't sure he was telling him the truth, but he listened to the rest of his words. 

"Two Sons did that, Prez. Two people I'm supposed to love like real brothers. But since that day I wonder: do I want to be part of such a family? Who shoot at pregnant women? Women who've done nothing to them, who are the victim of their greed?" Shane looked up, the look in his eyes fierce. 

"I also deplore what happened. But we're not all like that. And sometimes –"

Shane raised his eyebrows in contempt. "What, you really think you're better than them? You have such a hard-on for the gavel that you threaten your own stepdad with a knife in a hospital bed. Why do you think your guys are any different if it's an asshole like you they are supposed to look up to? Well, I'm not lookin' up to you. To me, your a gutless pig."

Jax's arms tensed and he was about to punch the kid in the face. Nevertheless he kept himself in check and ignored his insults. He knew the guy judged based on half truths, and that his version of the truth differed significantly from the real truth. And in a way he admired his courage to speak out his thoughts. It required some serious balls to talk like that to your president, and at the same time he understood why Shane couldn't stand the sight of him. He was loyal to his president, even when someone pulled him off the throne. The kid had no idea what was going on behind the scenes, he was completely unaware of all the things Clay had done. Could he really resent him for his disloyalty? 

Sighing, he studied the kid for a while. He was a good prospect, one that could turn out to be very useful. If he wanted to keep him in, he had to tell him the truth. As long as Shane believed that he was the bad apple instead of Clay, there would be tension between them. 

"I'm gonna tell you something hardly anyone knows. Only Chibs and Bobby. I'm not the guy you take me for, but I can see why you think of me like that. You can tell this to no one, Shane. Especially not to Juice, he doesn't exactly have nerves like steel. Once Clay gets wind of it, he's going to run, which will cause us trouble with the IRA and we'll end up deeper in shit than we already are. The moment Clay knows that you know the truth, you'll be the next we'll slide into an oven."

"I'd rather be buried."

Jax raised his eyebrows. The kid wasn't joking, the look in his eyes was dead serious and Jax concluded that he was willing to take the risk. "Soon after we came back from Ireland, Tara found letters which my old man had sent to his mistress in Belfast. Among other things, they expressed his fear that Clay was going to kill him, and not much later he died indeed because someone had tampered with his bike."

For the first time in his life, he saw Shane's eyes soften. He didn't even look shocked because of the truth he was exposing, it felt like sympathy and understanding were having the upper hand. It confused him, and he shook his head to get his thoughts straight.

"Tara talked to Piney about it, and when Clay found out, he wanted to eliminate them both. That time that men were trying to take her, when her hand was crushed? That was Clay. Piney threatened to tell his secret to the others, and that's why Clay killed him in the cabin, blaming Lobos Sonora for it."

"Jeez..." Shane bent forward, his elbows leaning on his knees while he rubbed his face. In his bright eyes, Jax could see how he was trying to piece it all together. Jax stared at his face for a while, it felt like he finally saw how young that guy actually was. About twenty? He'd already known that, but this time he could see it too and he wondered how he would have acted himself if he had been in Shane's shoes. 

"Opie found out that Clay had not only murdered his old man, but that he had also caused his wife to die. He flipped out and shot Clay in the chest, right in this chair."

"And you blamed black to cover it up." Shane cursed. "This whole fucking club consists of lies! Why did you only threaten Clay instead of killing him? Isn't murdering a member – an innocent one – a death sentence?"

"The Irish refuse to cooperate with anyone but Clay. They take the deal off the table if Clay is dead and the cartel is going to blow us all to pieces. I can't just kill Clay, but I'm workin' on it. And that's why Clay can't know that I know what he did; he will run and he can't get away with all this."

Shane sighed, rubbing his neck. "That's one hell of a mess."

He lifted the corner of his mouth. It definitely was. He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "You think we can smoke a pipe of peace?" He offered it to the prospect.

Shane looked him in the eye for a moment, then he nodded and took out a cigarette. Jax shoved his lighter towards the kid and lit up one himself. 

"So we're not all like Clay, Frankie and Gogo."

Shane blew out a cloud of smoke, keeping his glance. "No, not all of you." He was silent for a while as he leaned back in his chair. "I gotta admit that you've earned my respect by trying to solve all this shit."

Jax swallowed, his throat felt dry and he didn't even know why. Those eyes... they were so focused, so calculating. He didn't believe it was easy to deceive the kid and he was glad the guy didn't doubt everything he had just said. He felt a bit awkward and tried to hide it with a grin. After all, his presidency was still new. Since the moment he taken the gavel, he had been cleaning Clay's mess and half of the time he didn't even know if he was doing the right thing, especially not now Ope was dead. 

"Thanks," he said sincerely. "Appreciate that. It ain't easy."

Suddenly feeling defeated, he bent his head and stared at the floor. How would things have evolved if Clay had still been in charge? Would Opie still have been alive? He bit the inside of his cheek, the absence of his friend spreading like coldness through his limbs. His friend would never watch Clay suffer for what the man had done to his family. 

He looked up as a hand shoved across his. Shane's hand was delicate, his fingers so small and thin that it looked like those of Jax had an extra metacarpal. 

Quickly Shane pulled back his hand, slightly blushing. "Sorry. You're not like Juice."

Strange enough, the gesture had comforted him, and he wondered if this was how Juice's feelings had started, by touches like this. All this time he had been surprised that someone who looked as tough as Shane was into guys, but this time he'd caught a glimpse of tenderness he hadn't thought to find in the man, even though it also demanded courage to show it.

"It's okay," he answered. This shouldn't become a habit, but he knew Shane was trying to find his place among the others and he didn't want him to get lost in his head, questioning whether he could touch someone's hand or not. As long as the boy wasn't trying to push his tongue into his mouth, he could deal with it.

"You do feel guilty about the baby, right?" he asked after a while, when Shane was staring forward again, lost in thoughts. Jax was continuously in a fight with himself, wondering if he could have done things differently, so the feeling was familiar.

Shane sighed. "I never could have expected them to shoot someone. But still... If I'd entered the house sooner, it might never have happened."

Jax nodded slowly. "Maybe you're right. On the other hand – you might have been dead yourself. There's no way to predict the course of events. Fact is: Roosevelt's wife is still alive because of you." He paused for a while. "You think it would be good to take a few days off? You've seen so much shit the past weeks... more than the other prospects. And now you also know what Clay has done... maybe you're gonna need some time to let it all sink in."

The prospect was silent for a while. "Maybe you're right," he said eventually. "Actually I wanna go to Colorado for a while now. A friend of a friend of mine is livin' there, an orthopedic technologist. I wanna talk to him and see if he can do anything for Koz."

Jax raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Can't believe you never brought that up before."

The kid shrugged his shoulders. "Kozik wasn't ready for that, and I gotta admit that I haven't spoken to that friend in a long time and that there have been some... rough moments." He paused for a few seconds, then he added: "I think Koz should come with me. A few days ago his therapist already told him to spend some days out of town, to have some fun."

Jax nodded slowly. He could do without Shane for a couple of days. "Take Juice with ya. As long as he keeps his burner and laptop close, he can still help us out. Go pay SAMDEN a visit, it's always good to strengthen the ties with other charters."

Shane looked him in the eye, a small smile around his lips. "Thanks pres."

Jax answered the smile at the way the prospect addressed him, this time without a mocking tone. He stood up, slapping the kid against the back of his head. "Get back to work. Before your Old Man barges in to see what the hell the two of us are doin' here."

. . .

Hey all! I've started a new book, it's called "He Stole My Life". In case someone's interested, this is the summary: 

"Your body will be mine."

That was the note the sixteen year old Elles found, coming from an unknown sender. She however knows enough: the guy who hung like a shadow over her life during the first two years of high school is back. And he deserves the title 'sociopath' more than ever.

What would you do if you switched bodies with a sociopath? If he can effortlessly move between your family and friends, without you being able to warn them? If he can use your body for whatever purpose, while all you can do is watch? What would you do?

It's not a fanfiction, but I hope you want to give it a chance nevertheless. (:
I'll put the link in the comments. 

Thanks for reading, and as always I'd love to hear from you!