It had to happen tonight. The raid at Unser's.

She didn't feel good about it, but Alex knew it was too late to back out. Since the chief was a friend of the club, she didn't understand why Clay picked him. Still she trusted the insight of her former president. It wasn't really her place to ask questions, she had learned that by now. 

It had been a rough day and she rather went to bed early than waiting until 11 AM. First of all, Phil had been driven off the road this morning. As far as she knew, it had been the Niners. Since Clay had been shot, things had been quiet, but today had proven that the air wasn't cleared at all. At the end of the morning, Piney's memorial had finally taken place, to which she had taken Kozik. A little later Jax had returned with Bobby, who had been released from prison. They were finally complete – and to celebrate, the three Nomads were officially patched over. 

Alex started to feel useless now the workshop was so busy. It was a small comfort to know that Clay had given her a secret mission, because Jax saved all the shitty jobs for her, making her scrub the toilets every day and she swore that he had told the others to miss the toilets at purpose. 

Still she kept going without complaining. At least it caused her to be away from Juice most of the time, although he seemed to feel that need as well. She didn't know where he was most of the time, but suspected him to retreat to his room when working on his laptop. 

Around 9 she got a call from Gemma. 

"I have a bit of an odd request," she started. "But could you go to Tig's house? His daughter died a few hours ago and I think someone should keep an eye on him. Something tells me you know better how to deal with such loss than his other brothers."

Dazed, Alex rubbed her face. A little more than an hour ago Chibs had been around to fill Kozik in, and she had caught a few of his words; that Tig's daughter was burnt alive before the eyes of her father. But why did Gemma send her? She was so overwhelmed that she agreed before she knew it. She couldn't come up with a good excuse anyway. 

For a while she stared forward, then she called Clay. 

"Yeah?" the man grunted.

"Gemma just told me to go to Tig, to keep an eye on him. I'm sure you know better what happened to his daughter than me." She hesitated. "I was afraid I would raise suspicion if I told her that I had to do something for the club this late. Maybe we should go to Unser tomorrow?"

Clay sighed. "Why did she sent you to Tig?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno – the other day we had a good talk about Thomas. Maybe she believes that I can help him with a good talk as well, I dunno. What do you want me to do?"

"Hmm. Go. We'll do the raid tomorrow."

Alex nodded. "Okay."

She ended the call. The fact that he didn't want to carry out his plan without her, made her beam with pride. She put on her cut and walked to the living room, telling Kozik what she was about to do.

He gave her a thumbs up and muttered he would watch some tv before he went to bed. His aloofness was more noticeably each day and it hurt her. Before he moved in with her they went along pretty well, but now there was always a strange tension between them. Was it still because she refused to invite Juice over? Had she insulted him?

She shook it off. It might have nothing to do with you. After all, he had lost his leg, had been to a memorial today and he had just heard what had happened to Tig's daughter. Since the two were close friends for years, there was no doubt that he had known the girl too. 

. . .

Half an hour later she entered Tig's house. There was a strong cigarette smell and the place looked like there hadn't been a cleaner in months. Something told Alex that he went home very rarely – only when he wanted to be alone. 

Alex hadn't spend a lot of time with Tig and since he had ordered her to blow him at the beginning of her prospecting period, she'd never felt comfortable around him. However, her friendship with Juice had also started to grow on a moment they had both felt vulnerable. Maybe this would lead to a friendship as well. 

Tig hadn't said a word since he had opened the door. He dragged himself back to the couch, sat down with a bottle of liquor and drank from it. Alex sat down next to him. 

"Gemma sent me. She didn't want you to be alone right now."

He didn't react. She considered it as a miracle that he had responded to the doorbell at all – maybe he had hoped for someone else. 

Maybe for his daughter, so everything would turn out to be a nightmare. 

How many times had she felt that hope herself? Every time she had heard the rumble of a bike, she had thought it was Kip. Every time her phone went off, she had hoped that it was her little brother, telling her that it was all a prank. Once the pain got a hold of you, it was impossible to think rationally. Especially after a bottle of liquor and a few joints. 

For a long time Alex just sat next to him while Tig stared forward. Tears were shining in his piercing blue eyes. 

Suddenly he started to talk. "She was calling me... screamed my name... she knew it was my fault." His voice almost died away. "It was my fault. I killed her. And the smell of her burning flesh... I thought I was doing the right thing... it was never my intention to kill the girl. And now... now they grabbed my girl. My girl." He leaned back in the couch, draping his arm over his eyes. 

Alex tried to understand his rambling. If Chibs hadn't told Kozik what had happened three weeks ago, she would have had no clue what he was talking about. She had no idea if it had been Chibs' intention to catch his words, but she was just trained in catching sounds. 

Right after Clay had been shot, Tig had lost control. When it turned out to be the Niners, he had driven around the city until he had found Laroy, who was sitting at the terrace of a restaurant. He had crashed his car right into the booth, killing the man's girl. 

Who turned out to be the daughter of a infamous gangster now. 

In revenge, Pope had taken the life of the daughter of the murderer of his own kid. 

It was all so fucked up – this whole life was fucked up. 

If she was honest, she understood Pope. That however wasn't something she could tell Tig. The girl had been innocent and her own thoughts made her feel sick, but right after Kip passed away, she had felt the need to wipe out Cameron's family as well, to cause him as much pain as possible. 

Losing someone who was so close to you just destroyed you, and she was sure Tig would want his revenge as well. 

Alex sat a little more straight. The man next to her had trouble breathing, she sensed that he was close to crying. But what the hell should she tell him? Back then, Juice had killed a bunch of criminals – guys who had deserved to die. And Gemma had dealt with her grief a long time ago. But this man had just seen his daughter being burnt to death. 

There were no comforting words, it was simple as that. 

"Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked after a while. "You ate something today?" Her own question made her flinch. As if he could swallow a single bite the next days. 

"Hmm..." He was still leaning back. "Maybe... you should give me a good blow. Some distraction..."

Alex froze. She was sure that he wasn't joking this time. "I'll get you a croweater. She can also –"

"No. I want you to do it. Men suck differently than women." He started to unbuckle his belt – quite clumsily because he was drunk. 

"I'm your brother, Tig," she answered annoyed. "I'm not a whore."

"That neither stopped you from sucking Juice's dick, did it?"

Alex turned her head away when he took his dick out of his pants. 

"You want your top rocker, right? My opinion is more important than that of your brown lover. And he's doing it with the whores again anyway, so he can't blame you for wanting to taste something else too. Come on boy, you wanted to help me. Don't back down. I'll put in a good word for you with the others."

She had blown Miles to stay with the club, maybe... She clenched her fingers to fists until her nails were cutting her skin. Her own thoughts were disgusting. How many times had she told Juice that she didn't want to blow her way into the club? 

"I don't need a good word," she answered through gritted teeth. "If you vote me in, it's because I'm a good Son and not because I give a good blow. If you want a man to suck your dick, I'll find you a manwhore." She wished she could just go home, but she didn't want to flee like some pussy. "You want that?"

Tig sighed. "Never mind. I just..." He stared at the ceiling, his cock still exposed. "I just wanna feel something else."

"Pop some pills. You got nothing around?"

Slowly he shook his head. 

Alex got up and walked to the other side of the room. After a moment of hesitation, she called Juice.

"Yeah?" His voice sounded bored. 

"I'm with Tig," she said in a low voice. "You got some stuff which will help him to pass out for a couple of hours?"

"Uh, yeah. You want me to bring it?"

"If you don't mind..."

She heard him sigh. "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

Suddenly, Tig started to cry. With leaden steps she walked back; by now she really had no idea how she could help him. Eventually she ignored her doubts and responded instinctively, even if that might be girly. She pulled him into a hug. Tears jumped in her eyes when he clung to her, murmuring inaudible words as he pressed his face to her chest. 

Alex's heart leaped in her chest, she was scared to death that he would feel her not completely flat chest. Nervously she rubbed his back until the doorbell rang. 

"I asked Juice to get you something to relax." She let go of the man and headed to the front door to let her ex in. In an attempt to hide her tears, she avoided his glance. 

Juice paid no attention to her. He walked past her, toward the living room. Halfway he stopped in his tracks and turned around, his face full of disgust. 

"I guess I interrupted a special moment?" He clenched his jaw. 

Quickly, Alex stepped closer. "He wanted me to blow him when I asked him how I could help him. I didn't do it," she whispered. "But that guy knows no shame and doesn't feel the need to pull up his pants."

Juice looked briefly at her, then he turned towards Tig and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey brother. I got some pills that will help you sleep. Clothe yourself again, the prospect is feeling... small."

Tig looked over his shoulder, his eyes glazing over. "Oh... hi... You're here for a threesome?"

"No Tig, I got pills. Shane will get you some water."

Quickly, Alex walked to the kitchen to fill a glass of water. She gave it to Juice, who ordered the man once again to pull up his pants. Once he had managed to do that, Juice helped him to the bedroom and returned. 

"He'll be out for a couple of hours." Juice's hands slipped into his pockets, he stood a step away from her. "I'll stay here tonight, you can go home."

"But Gemma..."

"Gemma is an Old Lady. I'm a Son and I dismiss you. Or do you want him to drop his pants again?"

She cast her glance downwards. Even though she had done nothing, she felt filthy. 

"Okay," she said quietly, wiping her eyes. 

She heard footsteps. For a moment she thought he was walking away, then she suddenly felt his arms around her. She had no idea why, but suddenly she couldn't stop crying. She held him tight, her body melting against his causing a shiver. 

"I miss you so much," she whispered. She squeezed her eyes when a paralyzing feeling traveled through her arms. 

He sighed. "That's your own choice, Alex."

"I know." She looked up to him. "I don't want this anymore. I want you back. I want to tell the others."

The look on his face didn't change, he still kept his distance. "You're emotional now, it remains to be seen if you don't change your mind tomorrow."

Alex bent her head. 

He was right, unfortunately. She had no idea how she would feel tomorrow. 

"Go to bed, Alex. Okay? You're exhausted."

She didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay with him. But she also understood why he didn't want her around and she nodded. Right before she wanted to turn around, he laid a hand against her cheek and stroked the skin with his thumb. 

As she looked up, he kissed her forehead and pulled her close again.

"I miss you too," he said softly. 

She closed her eyes. Since the moment they broke up she had felt numb, and all the emotions she felt right now were confusing her. She wanted to promise him that she wanted to go public, but she was too scared to disappoint him again. 

With slumped shoulders she turned away from him and sauntered away. 

. . .

Hey all! I wanted to share my new Juice-story with you, it's called 'Roomies' and this is the blurb:

Getting a room mate sounded like an easy way to save money. However, being stuck with the most annoying girl on the planet wasn't what Juice had in mind when he opened his apartment to what he thought was a decent and quiet young man.

I hope you want to give it a try. (: