Not long after she had left Kozik's room, one of the guys got a call from Tig who was chased by a bunch of shooting assholes and needed some help to shake them off. Alex was the only one who stayed in the hospital to keep an eye on Clay and Kozik. 

She had to admit that Tig's call was eating her. Again one of them was in danger. Alex knew she was better informed than the other prospects, but still there were a lot of things they were keeping from her and she couldn't think of a reason why Clay was shot by a black gang member or why Tig's life was on the line now. As far as she knew, things were good with black, but it felt like the tiniest move could cause a chain reaction of violence. She felt the longing to participate in the conversations, maybe she could even offer them a different perspective on things but she knew she would never sit at that table. 

By now she had learned that Tig was fine and that everyone was getting ready for the meeting with the cartel and the IRA that would take place today. 

Alex pushed down the door handle. Two hours ago she had peeked inside, but the man had been sleeping. Not so long ago she however had seen Gemma and Jax, so she assumed that he was conscious again. 

She froze at the doorstep as she saw Jax, who was holding a knife against his stepfather's throat. As he looked over his shoulder, his face darkened. 

"The hell is this?" Without thinking, she reached for her gun. 

"If you point that thing on me again, you're out kiddo. Now turn around and wait in the hallway."

Despite her military training Alex had always had difficulties with authority, especially when she sensed that something was wrong. 

"Clay's opinion is more important than yours. Only if he wants me to go, I will."

With a grunt Jax turned around and rushed out of the room. Violently he grabbed her upper arm and leaned into her. Before she could say something, he lashed out, his fist hitting her face. It was so unexpected that she didn't see it coming and cursing she stumbled backwards, covering her eye with her hand. 

"I'm sick of your big mouth. You're just a prospect, you do whatever I tell you to do, whatever anyone of us tells you to do. If I tell you to get the fuck out, you leave. If I tell you to shut your mouth, you grit you teeth for the rest of the week and even when I fucking tell you to cut off your own balls, you do as I say. You got that?!"

In his eyes an intense hate was churning. Alex was familiar enough with that emotion to know that she wasn't the one fueling his hatred, but that she was just an easy victim to take it out on, since she couldn't defend herself without messing things up. 

With her lips pressed together she dropped her eyes in a sign of surrender, although the anger was crawling underneath her skin. 

"Not a word to anyone about this," he said in a dark voice. "This is between Clay and me, it's none of your business."

"If he's dead by the end of the day I won't keep my mouth shut," she answered, lifting her chin. "I pushed a fucking gun against my head to prove my loyalty to the club. Do you really think I'd give a shit about your gun? If you want to gain the gavel in such a backstabbing way, you betray all your brothers and I'll make damn sure they know."

Jax breathed heavily, his nostrils wide. "I'm not going to kill him, dumb ass."

"Then what were you about to do? Shave his chin?" she mocked. 

"You're a fucking hypocrite. Who was the one using a gun to get things done two days ago? Huh?"

Right, he had a point. Her shoulders slumped down in defeat; she wanted to end this conversation, before he would really kick her out. If he wasn't already planning to do so. "Fine. I'll keep my mouth shut." She retreated to the wall and crossed her arms; she wasn't able to hide the discontent she was feeling. 

Jax looked over his shoulder to Clay's room, before he aimed his attention back to her. He clenched his jaw, then he walked away. She waited until he had disappeared from sight and entered Clay's room, where she sat down on a chair. A machine was beeping and there was an oxygen mask on his chest. Suddenly the man looked really old. 

"How many times have you been hit?" she asked, not knowing all too well how to start a conversation. She couldn't remember she had ever been alone with him before. 

His lips curled into a weak smile. "That's really your first question after what you just saw?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Jax wants me to pretend I've never seen that and I'm not really in the mood to end up in the ring again. I can't pull the stab-trick again, huh? So I act like nothing happened, unless you give me other orders."

He studied her face for a while. She tried to read him, but she had no idea what went through his head. "He wants me to step back as president and hand him the gavel. I guess he's tired of waiting and already pictured himself on the throne the moment I ended up in this damn bed."

Alex frowned. Clay didn't seem a man easy to intimidate. "You really give in to him?"

"He's not leaving me a choice. I've done some shit in the past that I'm not proud of, which he will reveal to the others if I don't give in."

She was smart enough not to ask more questions. Sighing, she leaned back. "Well if he's the new president I'm screwed."

"Nah, most of  'em are impressed by you and we need guys like you. They wouldn't be too happy when he suggests to vote you out."

His breathing fell heavier again and he put the mask on his face. Alex kept sitting in the chair, thinking about the things that had just been said. Soon Jax would really be the one pulling the strings... and it was clear that he couldn't wait to drop her string. 

. . .

Jax didn't waste time, she discovered when Juice flopped down on the couch next to her that evening. He had just returned from church and his pale face showed her there had been some heavy conversations. Alex tried to order her thoughts so she could add the new information. She had stayed with Clay for more than an hour and she was still surprised she had feel so relaxed. He hadn't said a word about her secret, he kept referring to her like she was a man and if Juice hadn't claimed the opposite, there had been no reason to believe that he knew the truth. 

As Juice laid down on the couch, his head on her lap, she stroked his face and bent over to kiss the left tattoo on his head. "Rough night?"

"It feels like the whole club is shaken up," he muttered. "Bobby is in custody because Otto ratted, Opie didn't show up at church and will probably take some time off, Clay stepped back as president and..." As he looked up, he shot upright. "Holy shit baby, what happened to you?" He laid a hand against her cheek and gave her an intrusive look. "Who did this? Damn this place is so dark I didn't even see it before!"

Alex studied his face. What effect would it have on the club if she told him what she had seen? Jax would  hate her forever, but she didn't want to keep things from Juice again. They had agreed to be honest with each other and Juice was more important than Jax's goodwill. "Jax. When I entered Clay's room, Jax was threatening him with a knife and when I refused to leave, he got mad and hit me."

Juice's face tensed, his eyes became a shade darker. Even the muscles in his arms contracted. His protectiveness made her chuckle and she gave him a feathery light kiss. "Relax. I can take a hit. And remember that I'm still a guy in his eyes, huh? Knowing that he actually hit a girl will probably fill him with shame."

His heavy breathing gave away that he still wanted to go to Jax's house to teach him a lesson. "Did he at least apologize to you?"

"What do you think? All he did was lecturing me about the slave-like life of a prospect. And now he's our president. That's just great. Did they all agree so easily?"

Juice shrugged his shoulders, his glance still resting on her black eye. "There's a tension between Jax and Clay for years. And all the shit with the cartel... everyone is done with it. The deal didn't even happen since the IRA is only trusting Clay and refused to do business with Jax, causing even more stress."

Alex chewed her lip. "But this feels like... a coup."

"This isn't out of the blue. You remember that shooting at the clubhouse? Right before shit went down Bobby wanted a vote for a new president. Because of the shooting and all the shit after that it blew over, but we all saw it coming. Chibs is promoted to SAA and I think he'll ask Bobby to become his VP once he's released."

Alex sighed deeply and massaged her temples. But why keeping a knife close to Clay's throat? Why needed Jax to blackmail him, forcing him with a dagger to give up his spot as president? She knew she should put it to rest, it wasn't her business, but she hated the fact that Jax was the one who was now wearing the crown. 

"I don't think he'll ever let me patch in," she muttered. 

Juice turned in such a way that his knees were resting on the couch next to her thighs. He took her face in his hands. "I know you won't become close friends, but Jax always kept the well-being of the club in mind. I don't know why he needed to use a knife to get this done or why Clay agreed with this, but we have to trust him and believe that it's best for the club. And because he's always looking to the greater good, I neither believe that he will kick you out – you proved your value more than once and the fact that you have conflicting personalities is no good reason to send you away."

Her arms glided around his waist and she rested her head against his forehead. "But the fact that I'm a woman is a good reason." She sighed softly. "I've always known that all this would be over, the moment I had earned my top rocker. That thought is stressin' me out; I wouldn't know what else to do with my life."

"There's no saying how it might go, Alex. You got my vote. Maybe some other guys wouldn't want to see you leave either."

Alex looked at him. "Do you really want me to become a Son? If you look into your heart?"

He didn't answer immediately, of which she was grateful; it meant that he was giving it a serious thought. 

"Yeah, I do," he said eventually. "If it makes you happy."

"I had expected that you would try to keep me out of the danger zone."

"I don't think I can. Even when you're just my old lady, you have ties with the club. Look what happened to Donna and Tara... It actually gives me peace that you can handle yourself." He dipped his head and started to kiss her neck, causing goose bumps immediately. "And you're fucking hot when you're wearing your cut. Especially when the Reaper will be on the back." He gently sank his teeth in her flesh, his warm breathing brushing her skin. "But you can put on mine now," he whispered in her ear. "Wear nothing but my cut and I'll make sure there are only lustful thoughts on your mind the next hour."