The smell of bacon filled the kitchen. Actually he was running late and should head for the clubhouse soon, but because he knew that Alex usually only took a quick bite, he had decided to make eggs while she was showering. His brothers would manage a few more minutes without him. His phone was dead and on the charger, but the chance that they needed him right now was negligible. 

Satisfied, he thought back to the day before. The first steps were taken. There were still lots of things they needed to talk about, but at least she had shown him a glimpse of what was going on in her head and she had convinced him in an unforgettable way that she didn't want to lose him. Automatically his eyes shot to the couch where they had merged the day before. For a moment he could feel her hot breathing ghosting his ear as she whispered words that still made the heat rise to his cheeks.

The doorbell pulled him out of the pleasant memory. Frowning, Juice turned down the heat and walked to the front door. As far as he knew visitors were rare, so there was a big chance it was club related. He didn't know if she would be mad at him for opening the door, but she was still showering and he wasn't going to hide behind a couch or something. 

He swung open the door, meeting Chibs' surprised face. Although Chibs was his only brother who already knew about Shane and him, he still felt a bit awkward.

"Uh, hi," Juice muttered. "Um, Alex is showering."

He froze. Fuck. 

Chibs raised an eyebrow. "Alex?"

"Uh, Shane," he said quickly. "Alex is his middle name," he lied, glad it was an unisex name. "He uh, likes to be called that way outside the club. Makes it easier for him to uh, you know, let go of the part of him that doesn't wanna be gay." 

Man, this sounded so stupid.

"He uh, he calls me Juan." Feeling more and more awkward with every minute passing by, he shrugged his shoulders. "He's not a big fan of other pet names."

Chibs chuckled, slapping his shoulder and walking past him to enter the house. "Sounds very exciting kid. Well, guess I wait until he's done showering."

Juice nodded blankly, following him into the living room. His intestines seemed to squirm. He had to warn Alex that Chibs was here, wishing they had set up some kind of signal for moments like this – knocking three times at the bathroom door or something. Especially because Alex had a habit of walking into the living room after showering; naked, or only with a towel or wearing her lingerie, so he could feel her female body one more time before she became Shane, being off limits for the rest of the day. 

"I'll tell him you're here," Juice muttered, about to go to the bathroom. 

Chibs however laid an arm around his shoulders. "Nah, can't take that long. With that bandage on his leg he can rinse off a bit at most. So eh... I guess the two of ye are back in paradise? My threat had impact on the lad?" He lifted the corner of his mouth. 

"Yeah... We talked. Not about everything, but it's a start." Nervously he looked over his shoulder as the shower was turned off. "So eh, everything okay?" he asked in a loud voice, hoping to alarm Alex that there was someone else around. 

"Nah, not really, I'll tell you when the lad's here. Not in the mood to do it twice."

His answer was so unexpected that he didn't know how to react – which was stupid since he had wanted to warn Alex with his voice. "Uh, nothing too bad I hope?" Suddenly it felt like he had swallowed a stone. "Kozik... Kozik ain't dead, right?!"

"Aye, calm down son. He's fine. Ye don't have to yell, I'm right next to ye."

Fuck, this really wasn't his strong suit. "Sorry uh, I'm just worried." Again he glanced nervously at the hallway. If she would leave the bathroom now, Chibs would undoubtedly see her. "You uh, you already had breakfast? I made eggs. Oh shit, they're probably burnt by now." Quickly he walked into the kitchen, hoping Chibs would follow him. As he stirred the scrambled eggs he noted that it wasn't that bad, although the bacon was a bit too dark. 

"Juicy... are ye a'right?" Chibs had came to stand next to him, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Did ye really talk last night or did he convince ye to pretend ye did."

A drop of sweat glided down his neck. Suspicion was radiating from Chibs' face and right at that moment he realized that Chibs was the worst sponsor Alex could have wished for. He was way too observant, was too skilled in reading people. Could he have done something about it? Should he have promoted himself as a sponsor? He had never trained anyone; his level was the lowest after the prospects, but maybe being a sponsor might have changed that. Once should be his first time, right? It probably wouldn't have done any good to their relationship if she was obliged to obey him, but at least it would have given him some peace.

"Uh yea," he said as he noticed that Chibs was still studying his face. "I uh, I'm just tired." He tried to show him a meaningful grin, but his lips were quivering. "Steamy night."

"With that injured leg?" Chibs asked skeptically. 

"Yeah he uh, he says pain is turnin' him on." Juice squeezed his eyes, suddenly feeling ashamed, although it wasn't even a lie. It was something he had indeed discovered last night; when riding him she had led his fingers to the wound, pressing the tips into the bandage every time he hit the right spot, somehow making her even hornier. 

At first he hadn't really known what to do with it. Even though he was quite skilled when it came down to sex, hurting his partner purposely had been something new. Alex however had explained to him that all her nerves were sensitive because of the pain, making her more aware of every touch, making her enjoy the sex more. And since being buried deep inside her had made it difficult for him to keep a discussion going he had put the subject to rest.

When he looked up to his brother again there was no judgement in his eyes – he rather seemed worried. "Did ye two talk about that? I know this is new for the both of ye and that ye need time to find out what works, but especially now's he's shuttin' ye out emotionally..."

"Yeah we talked about it," he interrupted his friend a little agitated. The man should know he would never intentionally hurt his partner if he hadn't known for sure that she wanted it. "We were just experimentin'. It ain't like I'm gonna buy a whip now."

"He might," Chibs chuckled. He squeezed Juice's shoulder. "Okay boy-o. As long as the two of ye can work next day, I trust yer expertise." He turned away from Juice, walked towards the bathroom and pounded on the door. "Yo lad, hurry up! Got more to do today!"

Relieved, Juice took a deep breath as the fear that Alex would enter the room naked subsided. 

. . .

Only a few minutes later Alex joined them in the kitchen, her shirt showing her flat chest and her baggy jeans hiding her round ass. 

"Hey." Alex gave her sponsor a handshake and briefly glanced at Juice. She clearly didn't feel comfortable and that wasn't because of Chibs – it was because he was still around. Knowing he shouldn't count on any form of affection right now, he turned towards the pans and shoved the contents on two plates. After pouring coffee for the three of them, he sat down at the dinner table with the others. 

"I'm here to share some news," Chibs said. "With the both of ye, since yer not pickin' up yer phone." He gave Juice a disapproving look. 

"Burner was dead," he muttered, knowing that was the worst excuse he could give.

"I'll start with the good news: Kozik's life is no longer in danger"

"Oh god. I'm so happy to hear that!"

Alex sounded so relieved that she wasn't paying attention to her voice. Nervously his eyes flashed towards Chibs, but he didn't seem to notice.

"That's good to hear," Juice nodded. "And the bad news?"

Chibs looked from Juice to Alex. Juice felt a nasty knot in his stomach; the news was really bad, he could feel it. Underneath the table he reached for Alex's hand, but the moment he touched her fingers she pulled them away. Trying to swallow the disappointment, he aimed his attention at Chibs.

"Piney was found dead in the cabin yesterday. He died a few days ago – Lobo Sonora left their signature."

Juice's eyes widened. "Oh shit man..." A cold shiver crept down his spine, knowing it could have been himself or Alex too. After all, this was the reason why they had practically lived together since they had admitted their feelings. Now they had blown up the cartel that danger was luckily passed, but still...

"Jeez," Alex said, clearly distraught. 

Chibs nodded slowly. "Opie cremated him last night."

That news came unexpected. Piney had been one of the founders of the club and now he had just been burned... in silence? Without a goodbye? It felt wrong – something he had never expected from his brothers, from his family. He assumed that Opie knew how his father had wanted his funeral, so all he could do was make peace with it.

With a sigh, Chibs diverted the attention back to him. "There's more. There was another shooting at the garage, probably black. Clay's hit a few times, he's on the ICU. We don't know if he'll make it."

Alex cursed so rudely that Juice jumped up. Leaning with her elbows on the table, she buried her face in her hands. "Does this ever stop? This is fucking mess man!"

Juice couldn't get his mind around it. Piney was dead... Clay was shot... And all that while Kozik had stepped on a landmine only two days ago. It was too much – for him, and also for her.

"Hey," he said softly, laying a hand between her shoulders. 

She however shook off his hand. "Fuck off."

A little desperately he looked at Chibs, who seemed to get the hint and stood up. "Take a few days off, Shane," Chibs said, placing a hand on her shoulder before he headed for the door.

Juice walked with him, an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He didn't know if she was responding so distantly because Chibs was around or that she was shutting him out again.

"I hope that you're the reason he's so distant," Juice muttered as Chibs opened the front door. 

"Lemme know, Juicy. Gotta know if he's gonna bottle this up again or that ye can help him sort things out. A walking bomb is the last thing we need right now."

Juice nodded and watched him leave. Then he leaned against the door, sighing. He really wasn't looking forward to return to the living room, to be rejected by her again – to discover that their last conversation hadn't changed anything.