"Walk away now."

I had every reason to believe that this was the most fatherly advice Dimitri had ever received from his father. Walk away now. So he did care. Maybe not much. But just enough to speak up. I had never seen Dimitri like this before. He looked at his father as if not believing the words that just came out of his mouth. 

Karolina did a wise thing by taking Sonja to her room upstairs with Lady Natasha trailing behind her. I saw the worried and longing look in her eyes as she walked past Dimitri. It was so silent. Dimitri's grip of Rolan's collar loosened and he blinked a few times before storming out of the door. I did what I always did: I followed him.

Although I didn't make my presence known. He kept wiping his hands that were covered in blood. His white button-up shirt had splatters of blood on it. Every moment graced with indignation. He walked faster and I couldn't help it but notice how his hands were shaking. Without thinking, I grabbed them. He stopped walking abruptly and his gaze fell on me. A part of me broke when I saw tears in his eyes.

"I did it," he said. "I'm just like him."

"No, you're not," I interjected. 

"I ran away hoping that I would never be like him," he said, looking at his bloody hands.

I shook my head and said, "No. Don't say that. Your father—he hurt your family. But you protected them."

"And yet he's the one to remind me of the monster I was so afraid of as a child. I ran so far away only to be the monster I ran away from."

"You're not that monster!" I nearly yelled, trying to snap some senses into him again. "You're not that kind of person," I said, barely above a whisper. I knew him better.

I hated seeing him like this. In a dark moment of weakness. He took deep breaths and walked past me. I sighed in response and followed him silently. It was hours until Dimitri decided to go back. Rolan would probably never set foot here again. And poor, poor Olena was disappointed at how dinner turned out. The poor lady was really trying hard. When we got back, she was cleaning up the table. Everybody else was gone. Dimitri stepped into the room and Olena looked up. She gave him a small smile and opened her arms. He hugged her and she whispered words into his ear.

The only two words I heard were my boy. . .

She pulled away and said, "If you feel that you need to return to America, then go. I will not force you to be here. Our family. . .it needs some time to mend."

"Devastated?" Christian asked, sitting down next to me on the roof. We were back in America and Dimitri was busy with his job. The stars looked lonely so I decided to be with them.

I pursed my lips and said, "No. Just starting to get the bitter taste of life. Maybe life is not as beautiful as we all think."

"You do realize we've been through this mortal thing, right?" he asked, looking at me teasingly.

I rolled my eyes and shrugged, "Yeah, I know. I don't remember every detail of my life, though. Just the small painful bits of how I died. I used to think that everybody here was happy. I mean, they're breathing and can kind of postpone their consequences."

"Justice will always fine its way, Rose. Time and place don't matter. It will always be served," he said, leaning his back on the chimney. He was like the wise old grandpa. 

I sighed in response and said, "Whenever I walk through the woods, I always hear people talking and laughing. It sounds beautiful and makes me feel so alive. There's just so much life in this world. Sometimes I can't help but wonder how it can be so bad."

I mean, being here was a crazy flight of emotions. But it made me feel like I was living, especially with Dimitri when he would include me. "The road is not always smooth," Christian said, "But people always find the smallest speck of happiness and cling onto it, no matter how much they deny. It could be a memory, a person or a thing. It all depends on each person."

I smiled at him and asked, "What do you think Dimitri clings onto in bad times?"

"Don't you know?"

I thought hard. I came up with blankness. I shrugged and replied, "I guess I don't really know." 

"That's for you to find out, not me. He is your appointed human, after all."

"Thank you, Christian. You're very helpful," I said sarcastically. "Sometimes I want to go through the mortal thingy again." I really did. Surprisingly, though. I mean, all the reasons told me otherwise but with each passing moment with Dimitri and in this world, I just wanted to be here. Permanently.

His expression changed to a darker tone. "Why? You're already in a good place, Rose."

I chuckled and asked, "And why not? What if there's a place better than good? What if there is a way for me to-"

"No!" he cut in sharply. His eyes cutting me like a knife. "You are a guardian angel and you will stay a guardian angel. I'd rather be thrown into the Valley of the Unforgivables than see you go through the process again."

I froze. My heart was beating in my heart so hard that it hurt. I swallowed and watched Christian disappear from my sight. I was taken back by his strong objection. As if there was a way. . .

I went back inside the house and sat myself where I belonged: the kitchen. But sweets weren't my friends this time. I was too wrapped up about Christian. Why was he so. . .against living a mortal life again? It was impossible to become a mortal again. We all knew that. His response was excessive, if you ask me. Funny, he acted as if there was a way-

Wait a second.

If it really was impossible to be a mortal again, why would he react so rashly like that?

I could easily imagine his disapproving look. His infamous don't-even-think-about-it look. My bubble of excitement deflated and I propped my elbow up on the counter. Life was almost boring as a guardian angel. I couldn't talk to other people beside Christian, Dimitri, and people with a special kind of sense. Even then, talking did not come easily. 

"Did somebody take away your candy?"

I whipped my head around and saw Dimitri closing the front door. He just got back from work. So far, everything was peaceful. I shook my head and replied, "No. Nobody took my candy. I just didn't feel like eating them right now."

"What's gotten you all glum?" he asked, putting his black bag on the kitchen counter.

"Nothing."

"Now that's a lie."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Of course, you know everything now, oh great wise man."

"I am not a wise man, Rose. It's just there's always something behind every nothing," he said, opening the refrigerator.

I smiled and said, "It's nothing you have to worry about. Trust me."

"Trust you? You mean, trust you to eat all of my food and light my wallet on fire when you're upset? No, thank you. I always worry when you tell me not to worry."

I gave him a cheeky smile. "Well, that's something you'll have to put up with until my time here is up. Don't worry. You'll get your happy, little, lonely life back."

He poured himself a glass of milk and said, "Too late. I always worry."

Somehow that made me smile. Good.

I apologize for the length of the chapter here and my disappearance. Stupid writer's block and college stuff. I have the SAT coming up in March for college entrance and I am not thrilled. Any tips on math? Or taking the SAT? This will be my first time because we don't take SATs here in Thailand. This is kind of new to me.

Anyway, thanks for reading and waiting for me. You are super duper patient and I really appreciate that.

Love, 

Iris