(y/n) - your name

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"FRIGGA! NO!" I cried out as she reached out to me, her pained gasps surrounding me as Malekith plunged the sword into her from her back.

It's all my fault!

I couldn't save her!

I cried out as I watched the scene over and over again, feeling pathetic and useless as I could never save her. I watched how I barged into her room, turning into a dark monster and her breaking me out to save me before she died. 

Frigga died because of me. 

Because I was turning into a monster.

"It wasn't your fault..."

I gasp awake, eyes snapping open as I heard Frigga's voice. Her sound soothing over me but that didn't stop the tears that dripped down my face. "She's strong in ways you'd never even know. Even lady (y/n)." I catch the brothers arguing once again and I peek my head out the blanket. Thor was manning the ship as Loki sat next to me and brushed my hair back gently.

"This day, the next, a hundred years, it's nothing! It's a heartbeat! You'll never be ready! The only woman whose love you've prized will be snatched from you!"

"And what of you!? Do you not care for the woman you have caused pain yourself!?" I feel Loki bristle up next to me, his hand pausing over my head. "I can see something different in you when you look at Lady (y/n)!"

"There is nothing going on!"

"And you will always continue to deny the love you sought to receive. Do you not see that she cares for you too!"

"Enough!"

"No brother! I won't surrender to this!"

"The son of Odin." Loki hisses out.

"No, not just of Odin! You think you alone were loved of mother? You had her tricks, but I had her trust!"

"Trust. Was that her last expression? Trust? When you let her die!"

Frigga...

I block out the rest of the fight, shutting my eyes tight and wallowing in my tears that fell as I blocked off my ears. Memories of that fight flashing before my eyes over and over again.

I'm sorry Frigga, I'm so sorry.

It's all my fault.

I killed you.

I couldn't save you.

I let you die.

You shouldn't have died.

You should've been alive and scolding your kids.

I did this to you.

I'm sorry.

"You did everything to save her." I sniffle and look up as Loki wipes my tears away, holding my hands tightly in his. I knew he saw my memories and I grew angry, ripping my hands from his and putting in my earphones. I didn't want him to see the thoughts or the images in my head, drowning him out with my music. "Don't do this (y/n), you will only hurt yourself more." I ignore Loki, not wanting to hurt him any more than I already was. I didn't want him to see his mother die over and over again in my head.

Even though she was supposed to die, I wanted to save her. 

I didn't want her dead.

I turn around on the boat, the wind blowing over us through the quiet and very dead looking world. I let the film run its course as Jane speaks up about Malekith being here. Everyone quickly grabs onto something to steady themselves when Thor unceremoniously drops the boat onto the sandy ground, picking it up as a cloud around us.

Thor suddenly takes Loki and drags him off the boat to talk to him as Jane stands idly by and I stay in the boat, not wanting to intervene. The brothers come back but Loki had cuffs around his wrists. 

"Lady (y/n), are you not coming?" Thor asks and I shake my head.

"You know I'm not supposed to..." He sighs and nods, letting me stay in the boat but Loki frowns at me as he gets dragged to the top of the sandy dunes. I watch them hide until the next course of action takes place and Thor releases Loki from his cuffs but he 'betrays' him and stabs him before throwing him down the hill.

I was getting anxious, sitting in the boat and not keeping an eye on things. "Fine, might as well watch." I get out of the boat and climb up the dune, kneeling behind it to watch the fight ensue after Thor failed to kill the Aether that was removed from Jane. I watch as the Aether rises like broken crystal shards, suddenly pointing straight at me.

"(y/n)!" Loki yells out and my eyes widen to see the Aether flying straight for me.

"What the fuck-" I screech as I envelop myself in a white dome forcefield, the Aether trying to pry itself through my magic. "What the fuck is going on!?" I scream out as I suddenly get lifted in the air, not by my own doing, but by Malekith as he summons the Aether to him.

"Lady (y/n)!"

"I was trying to stay out of the fight what the hell!" I yell as I struggle to hold up the shield as I was held in the air.

"You let her go or so help me." Loki seethes out in rage, his green powers circling around his arms angrily as he glares at Malekith. I panic as my dome starts to crack and the Aether starts breaking through.

"No no no no!" I yell out and Loki looks at me with pure panic. The brothers start fighting against the dark elves, one of the soldiers throwing a black hole kind of weapon and Loki gets sucked into it. "Loki!" I scream out, breaking through the forcefield and flying to grab him before he could disappear. I grunt in slight pain as we roll over the sand, opening my eyes and freezing to see Loki hovering over me with his arms and legs on either side of me. 

Oh fuck...

I couldn't help the blush on my cheeks as he looks down at me, panting slightly. "You shouldn't have done that." Loki gasps out, gently holding my cheek and I blink at him in surprise.

I turn my head and my eyes widen to see the Aether flying for me again. "Loki move!" I shove him away and use my body to shield him, expecting to feel pain but I turn around to see the Aether flying away. "Are you ok?" He nods slowly and I brush his hair away gently, leaning my forehead on his. Loki lets out a shaky breath, closing his eyes as he holds my face in his hands.

"She is light personified and I will have her killed." Malekith hisses out, absorbing the Aether and I hear Thor scream out for me. 

"Lady (y/n)!" Time slows down and I turn around to see Malekith's soldier raise a sword to me. Before I could do anything, I get shoved to the side and I let out a scream as I see Loki take the hit instead of me. I falter as I see Malekith's soldier step back and I remember that this wasn't the real Loki, letting out a breath of relief even though I was briefly fooled for a hot second.

"See you in hell, monster." Loki sneers and the soldier roars out in pain as one of his own black hole gadgets were used on him, swallowed up and disappearing. Thor runs up to Loki, and I let him have his moment of grieving for his brother that slowly died in his arms.

Loki, I know you're still here. Where are you?

I see a glimmer of green and I look up next to me from the floor to see Loki appear to me, still hidden from Jane and Thor. I feel a rush of magic wash over me and I see Thor panic to see that I had disappeared from his sight.

"Lady (y/n)!?" Jane calms him down and drags him away from the battlefield leaving Loki and me alone.

"I'm glad you're still alive." I sigh out, slowly getting up on my feet as I brushed the sand off my clothes.

"I could tell from the way you held my duplicate." I blush as Loki leans down, his face close to mine.

"Back off." I stutter, trying to shove Loki back but he holds my hands that were on his chest, pulling me close. I hold my breath as he wraps an arm around my waist, the other holding my cheek.

"I find it strange to have someone like you, care about someone like me."

"I-I..." I freeze up as Loki stares into my eyes, a glint in the swirling green as he smirks at me lightly and holds me close. I swear he could hear my heart beat rapidly against my chest as he chuckled softly, leaning his forehead on mine and I sigh out. All I could feel was him around me, a soft warmth spreading through my body as I closed my eyes and held Loki's face. 

I care about you because I just do.

Loki's breath hitches as I caress his cheeks with my thumb, our chests flush against each other as Loki hugged me tightly. We stay like this for a while, just holding each other until I hear something behind him.

"It seems like our rescue team is here." Loki grins down at me and I flush red, quickly following him as we approach the messenger. Loki scares him and knocks him out, taking his appearance while still keeping me hidden. He holds out a hand for me to grab and helps me onto the flying boat.