"So you know that you have two more years with us? After that you have to go out on you're own."

Again with the stupid speeches. This bitch is always in my ear! "You can't look like a roadie if you wanna get adopted." Blah blah blah! SHUT...UP! Every six months Mrs. Wilkinson is always down my throat about my clothes. What'd you expect when you give a 15 year old girl with no family hand me downs? A miracle? Bitch please! Work with whatcha got is what I say!

"Carlyn? Are you listening?" I heard this old broad beckon.

I had to show her that I could speak without profane language.

"Yes ma'am. Loud and clear."

See? How easy was that shit? Sometimes I wonder how old this old bat is and how is she still kicking. I bet she's so old that when she graduated from high school they had to announce her class as the class of 8. She stood up from the old desk and shuffled her old brittle bones over to the door.

"Remember its adoption day today. Please be on your best behavior. Please?"

"I will ma'am. Scouts honor."

Clearly I was bullshitting her as I walked out of her office. Another day another adoption that never happens. Once you get to a certain age your cute factor is non existent and nobody wants you. I was so used to not finding a family that most of the time I stayed in my room and would listen to Aerosmith and Green Day. I bet you're probably thinking "this bitch is white!" Not at all. I'm as black as the African guy from Next Friday. I only listen to my rock CDs on adoption days. Any other day I listen to a lot of the old school stuff. EPMD Dr. Dre LL Cool J Naughty By Nature you know the good hip hop. The shit that's out now is some of the worst shit I've ever heard. What the fuck is a soulja boy and why do I want to crank it? If I wanted to super man a hoe I would throw her a white t-shirt with a huge S drawn on the front of it in permanent marker. I know I sound like a bitch but it's only because I'm tired of being in this shit hole of a orphanage where the food is shitty and the kids are just as annoying as that old ass nun. Sometimes I wanted to be adopted. Other days I could care less. I just waited for the day where I was no longer a slave to the system. I laid in my room the rest of the day and watched from the window as parents came in and out to look over the little ones that were cute enough to go to a good home like a liter of puppies. This puppy is already 56 in dog years. Maybe even older. The feeling of disappointment was creeping in as I looked on when I decided to lay down and close my eyes. That feeling of wanting a family was bombarding my mind. Damn. So much for fighting that feeling of hopelessness.