Weekend after weekend until the end of summer I would go back and forth from the orphanage to Chanhassen for lesions. By the time I was able to play something as simple as chopsticks it was a week before school had started. The final Saturday came around and I was sitting in the guest room after arriving at Paisley Park and I decided that sitting in my room on a Saturday night with nothing to do was starting to get ridiculous. I got off the bed and left the room to wonder the building looking for something to do. When I got down to the end of the hall I could hear a young girl singing somewhere followed by the sound of a guitar. It didn't sound like the Teley Prince played. This sound was different. It was acoustic. As I tried to follow the sound of the song that echoed the halls I found myself down on the second floor.

  "It's coming from the studio!" I said to myself.

I felt myself smiling my brains out as I followed the melody to the studio door. I grabbed the door knob and turned it slowly. The door came open and the song grew louder the more I pushed. I peeked around and there was Prince sitting on a stool with a young girl with brown curly hair sitting across from him with her back facing the door. I felt like I recognized that head of curls but I wasn't too sure. Her voice carried each note as Prince strummed away. This girl could make Brian McKnight sound pitchy as she sang 'Never Felt This Way'. After the song was over I walked in the room and quietly closed the door. Prince was giving the young girl pointers about practicing singing from her diaphragm and other musical shit.

  "When you hold you're notes you want to breathe through you nose as you let the air out. That's how you can hold them out for so long and get the standing ovation you're looking for." He told the girl.

As he took off the strap to his guitar his eyes happen to fall on me still standing at the door.

  "Oh! Hi there! Come have a seat we're just wrapping up for the night." He said as he smiled at me.

The young girl turned to face me and to my surprise I'm inhibitions were right.

  "Nali! What are you doing here? You can sing?" I asked as I went to give her a hug.

  "Well of course I can sing. Prince has been giving me lessons for a while now." She said.

I was finally happy to see a familiar face around here. The only face I knew was Prince and the security guard Tony. I grabbed a chair and sat down beside her happily.

  "So Prince tells me that you're taking piano! How's that going?" Erin asked.

"Oooh it's going. I don't know where but it's definitely going." I said as I pulled gently at on of my micro braids.

"You think you suck don't you?"

"Hell yeah!" I shouted.

Just then I heard the gentle sound of change tapping the glass of that stupid jar. Prince put it just in front of my nose and shook his head with his eyes closed and his index finger on his lips.

"Aww shit!" I said.

"Carlyn!" Erin exclaimed as she giggled.

"What! It slipped I swear."

I put a dollar in quarters in the jar just in case I had another 'slip up' since that was the last of the money that I had.

"Well before you slip up again I have to get going. Derrin is taking me out to dinner tonight to celebrate some new client he just pulled or something he was rambling on about."

"Cool! Tell him I said sup!"

"I will! See ya later Carly! Behave."

"You bet!"

Prince stood up and gave Erin a hug.

"Tell Derrin I said congratulations. See you next summer my love."

"I'm gonna miss you P!" She said hugging him tightly.

"I'm gonna miss you too. Come out and jam sometime after the semester." He said as he let her go.

"I will! Take care of her ok?" She said pointing at me.

"Always."

Erin headed to the door and pulled out her blackberry as it rang.

"Bye Nali!" I said as she waved to me answering her phone and leaving the room.

Now it was just me and the man in purple. And I mean that literally. This dude looked like a shorter thinner and ethnic grape kool-aid man with the suit he had on. Every time I see him he's gotta have purple on! What's that about?

"Sooooo what are we learning tomorrow? William Tell Overture or some crazy Beethoven song that I can't pronounce?" I asked as he went to rack his purple acoustic and get his MadCat Teley.

"Maybe. But since your here I wanted to ask you something." He said sitting doe next to me.

"Somehow I knew this was going to be a question session."

"And it always is."

"Yeah for you. Anyway ask your question little man."

"You might wanna work on your insults. Calling me short doesn't do much damage to my non existent feelings as you would say."

"Naaaah. I haven't noticed!"

My sarcasm would never shake him because he was the king of being sarcastic. This old dude was cool in a way. Even though for a man in his late 40's didn't look old at all. He looked like his same pictures from the 80's. He finally got around to asking his question.

"Why do you have to be so guarded all the time?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well when you're here you're trying to act like you don't need anybody but when I see how you act with Joey you're not the same person. You're more open to emotion. Why is that?"

My comfort level changed the moment the word guarded came out of his mouth.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"What are you runnin' from little girl?"

"Stop calling me that I'm not a child!"

"Then what are you?"

"A young adult! Stop trying to pry into my personal life! I'll let you in when I feel like it and right now I don't feel like it!"

"You're nowhere near a young adult. Not with that attitude and mouth you have." He said flatly.

"You don't know shit about me dude!"

"I know enough just by looking at you!"

"Bullshit! You and your fucking assumptions are getting on my nerves!"

"Then why are you here?"

"Because you and the old senile bitch agreed to this!"

"That's not it you're here because you want to be here. You could have easily refused but you didn't."

"Yeah tell me this shit now you possessive jackass!"

"I know what the answer is. You're scared. You don't want to get close to people because you don't want them to abandon you."

"Shut up."

"Oh! I struck a nerve there! I'm right aren't I?"

"No you're not shut up!"

"Yeah I am. Know why? Because you can only love Joey while he's little so you feel needed. He loves you now but when he gets adopted and gets older he'll forget about you. So you do everything to make him happy so he won't forget you."

"Stop it!"

Tears began to form in my eyes and I wipe them away so he would have another something to pick on me about. Prince still tried to pry some more as I kept fighting my anger.

"Why? We're getting somewhere."

"I'm not telling you shit man!"

"But you are because you're crying. You don't want to get close to anybody so you shut your emotions down so you don't have to feel pain. What happened with you? I know there's more than just your mama leaving you at a playground all alone."

"That's none of your business mother fucker!"

I stormed my way to the door flinging it open furiously.

"We're not done Carlyn!" He shouted.

"Fuck off clown!" I shouted back sprinting down the hall.

I had to stop because I couldn't see where I was going. I just leaned against the closest wall and bawled my eyes out. I never even noticed Prince had come out of his studio and followed behind me. I felt his had touch my shoulder and I pulled myself away.

"Talk to me Carlyn. Tell me what happen."

"No!"

"You're carrying unnecessary pain when you come here and you've opened up a lot. Don't stop now! You're doing so well. You want someone you can trust. You want a family and I get that but I wanna help you."

"And you're not a therapist."

"No but I know something did happen. No mother would just leave their baby! I know that. There was a reason and I know it had nothing to do with you and a lot to do with her."

Prince was right on all points. My mom didn't leave me just because.

"Then if I tell you will you shut the hell up and let this go?"

"I promise. Let's go back to the studio and talk."

We went back to the studio and sat down on a small sofa in the corner of the room.

"Now. Start from the very beginning." He said taking my hand.

"My mom and I were close when I was little. Then she met some guy after my 4th birthday. About three months later he was living with us and things were fine. At least until my mom came home from a party and found him touching me. He told me it was a game but told her that he didn't do anything. She never stopped him up until I had finished kindergarten. But then after a while he didn't care and he made my mom choose. She chose him."

The shock was plain on his face. Now he knows everything.

"She picked him over me. I was all alone! I wanted her and she never came back."

I cried even harder and he pulled me close to him to comfort me.

"Carlyn. I'm so sorry." He said softly.

"She said she loved me and left." I cried.

"That will never happen again kid. It's all over now. I promise."

I felt better but the pain was still there. I never wanted so badly to have a family until that night of my terrifying confession. I wanted to have a a family that wouldn't abandon me ever again.