Evan Woods.

Saturday 07:30 p.m.

"What's going on?" I asked for the third time in the day.

Helen and Aunt Paula paced around the living room without stopping. They had me sitting on the couch, alleging I needed to sit down for this. It'd been ten minutes and all they'd done is share knowing glances, bite their nails and pace around.

I sighed tiredly, "For how long are going to do this?"

Aunt Paula cleared her throat, "Just be patient, honey. This isn't easy for her."

I stared at Helen who looked pale, white as paper, "What is it?"

They were starting to scare me. It looked like it was serious thing, "Helen," I called out, making her stop. She looked at me, sucking both of her lips into her mouth and letting them out again. She opened her mouth to speak but shut it.

Aunt Paula swung her arms around, exasperated, "Oh for God sakes, she's-"

"I'm pregnant." Helen cut her off.

My first reaction: Laugh.

I laughed it off, "Right." They didn't laugh with me, "Very funny. I'll give you guys points for acting. You did great."

Aunt Paula gave me a piteous look, "She's not joking, Evan."

Helen hung her head.

"She has to be." I insisted, the smile vanishing from my face, "She doesn't have a boyfriend. they broke up like three months ago." I looked at Helen, "You told me that. You weren't lying. You wouldn't lie to me, right?"

"No, I would never lie to you." I smiled again only to have it vanished again from my face when Helen continued, "But I saw him after that. Jules' birthday... we were drunk and-"

"No." I cut her off, jumping to my feet, "Are you freaking serious right now?"

Helen lowered her head, "I'm sorry."

My jaw dropped to the floor, "Oh, shit! You're being serious right now! Oh holy shit!" it was my turn to pace around, "I'll kill him! I'll kill that bastard! I'll fucking kill him!" I held my head.

Helen winced. Aunt Paula reached for me, "Calm down, Evan."

"Holy shit! My little sister is pregnant and you want me to calm down? To hell calming down, I'll kill him!" I headed for the door.

"No!" Aunt Paula ran after me, holding my arm, "Don't open the door! There's snow blocking it!"

I released myself from her grab, knowing she was right. Realization hit me with force, "This was your plan all along. Telling me during the snowstorm so I couldn't go out and kill him."

Aunt Paula looked guilty, "Well, yeah."

"Ah! You sneaky women!" I groaned, walking to my room, "I'll kill him tomorrow! Or the day after that! Don't doubt it!"

I left them there. I needed some time alone to digest this.

Sunday 08:06 p.m.

Grief...

I wrote the word and then put the pen between my teeth for a moment. I stared at the cup of coffee on the table in front of me, right next to my keyboard.

Mom's smile came to my mind and she was suddenly behind me, placing the cup on my table, like a fading memory.

"Writing again?" she whispered, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I could almost feel the pressure of her hand there.

"Yeah."

"What is it about this time?" she sounded genuinely curious.

"A boy, a boy living in the streets, surviving."

She pouted, "It sounds depressing. You're too young to write sad stories."

"We reflect ourselves in our writing." I said, "You told me that."

"I did." She admitted, squeezing my shoulder, "You'll be a great writer someday."

I huffed, "Don't have so much faith in me."

She leaned in and kissed my cheek, "I will always have faith in you."

She left and the memory faded away, leaving me alone in that room.

Do you still have faith in me, mom?

Even after I betrayed you?

Even when you're dead because of me?

Instinctively, my hand went for the tattoo on my neck. I deserved that tattoo. I deserved its meaning.

There was a gentle knock on the door. I knew who it was. It had taken her this long to collect the courage to come and face me. I wasn't angry anymore, not like yesterday. I wasn't even disappointed. She didn't need me to be disappointed. She was going through enough. I knew she was terrified.

"Come in."

Helen walked in, hands behind her back and sat on my bed, "Hey."

I turned on my seat to face her, "Hey."

"From 1 to ten, how much do you hate me?" she asked, running her fingers through her hair.

I sighed, "I don't hate you, silly."

"I'm so sorry, Evan. I know you expected me to be smarter than this, that-"

"Stop." I cut her off, "I expected you to be yourself, to make mistakes, to fulfill your dreams. I expected you to live, Helen. That's all I expect from you. Live."

"I know you're disappointed."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You just don't want to say it. You don't want me to feel bad."

"Helen, getting angry at you is not going to change anything, is it?" she pulled her feet up to sit with her legs cross. I noticed her bare feet, "Are you serious?"

She gave me a confused look, "What?"

"Walking bare feet with this cold?" I got up and looked for some fluffy socks in one of the drawers. I knelt in front of her and grabbed her feet to put them on.

"The heat is on. Calm down."

"It's still cold. He could get cold or something."

"He?" she smiled down at me.

"The baby."

She messed my hair up, "You're adorable, big brother."

I stood up, "I'm not. I'm pretty evil. You should ask around."

"Right."

I placed my hands on my hips, "Does he know?"

"Jason?"

I gave her a tired look, "No, that other guy you were sleeping with."

"No need to get sarcastic." She retorted, "No, he doesn't know."

"Well, are you going to tell him?"

She lowered her gaze, "I don't want to. Can I do that? Can I just keep the baby and raise him on my own?"

"You do know he's going to find out pretty soon, right?" I pointed her stomach.

"I could be home schooled."

"Helen..."

"I could say is not his."

"He's not that stupid." I told her, "Once he finds out, he'll do the math."

"I could have slept with two guys the same night. Who knows?"

"He knows you. He knows you're in love with him and that you wouldn't spare a glance at another guy."

"How can he know that?"

I shrugged, "Sometimes, we just know."

She rubbed her face, "I don't want to tell him. It's my baby."

"It's his baby, too. He has the right to know." I sat next to her, "It's the right thing to do and you know it."

She let out a long breath, "I know. I know."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, "It'll be alright. You're not alone."

She rested her on my shoulder, "I know but I'm so scared."

I kissed her hair, "Don't be. I got you. Your safety have always been my priority." My mind travelled to a quick memory.

"Where is she? That little brat!" my drunken father screamed through the hallway. I walked to be right in front of him.

"She's not here." I lied. Helen was sleeping in her room.

"Then where the hell is she?" he punched the wall, still looking in the direction of her room.

"I don't know..." I pushed his chest, I was so small in front of him, "Idiot."

"What the hell did you just call me?!"

I ran downstairs and he chased after me. I knew he would hit me until he passed out but at least he would forget about Helen.

"Thank you for always looking out for me."

"It's been my pleasure."

Monday 9:40 p.m

I hated alcohol. I hated how it made people different from what they were. I hated seeing those disoriented eyes, the stumbling, the slurring. I just hated everything about it. Especially, the person it reminded me of.

My father...

That alcoholic monster that had taken everything from me.

I shook my head, pushing those thoughts away. It wasn't the time to think about him.

Regardless my hatred towards the liquid, I raised my hand with the shot and drank it. Tequila swam down my throat, burning everything in its path. The sensation refreshed me because for just a second, my mind and body focused on that burning sensation and it gave me a second of peace.

A second of oblivion.

I'm a hypocrite.

I smiled to myself. How could I drink after what happened? How could I? Why would I?

To forget.

Another shot.

Another second of oblivion.

But as soon as that burning sensation passed, her face came back to me. And for some reason, it wasn't her smiling face what came to mind, it was her, crying: The hurt and disappointment on her expression, that pain that had stolen the glint of her breath-taking blue eyes. Those lips I loved, pursed, trembling. That enchanting voice broken and cautious.

I hurt her.

I've hurt her so much.

It was a miracle she hadn't cut me out of her life for good.

Could I live without her? I was in such dark place when she found me. She brought me back to the light, without her, it was all gone: hope, love, happiness. All vanished along with her. I couldn't blame her. She stood up for herself. She had every right to and she didn't need me. She could find someone in a blink of an eye. She was sweet, caring, kind and so ridiculously beautiful.

The thought of her with someone else made me squeeze the small glass in my hands. Mine.

No, not yours, not anymore.

I relaxed my hand, licking my lips. My mouth was dry and the little bar with bottles in front of me looked blurry. Wow, tequila did its job pretty quickly. Good.

I raised my hand to take another shot when a delicate hand grabbed my wrist.

"Drinking is not the solution." Her voice was calmed, collected, "You should know better."

I clenched my jaw, "What are you doing here, Jane?"

She sat on the stool next to mine, taking the glass from me, "Saving you, apparently."

I let out a sarcastic chuckle, looking at her, "You destroyed me so you can save me? Is that what you do?"

She lowered her gaze, "I... I'm really sorry, Evan. I-"

"Don't." I said through clenched teeth, "Just don't. Save it."

Pained blue eyes...

Trembling lips...

Jules...

"Leave." I took the glass from her, drinking it all and slamming it against the bar.

"You can try and blame it all on me. Hate me." she started, "But you lied to her, Evan. It's not all on me."

I glared at her, "You didn't even consider giving the chance to tell her, did you?"

She pursed her lips, "I did. I gave you plenty of time to tell her. I even gave her hints."

I frowned, "You what?" she closed her mouth as if she'd said something she shouldn't have said, "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing." She looked away.

"Jane." I held her chin, making her look at me, "You better tell me the truth."

"He offered and I was weak." I let go of her chin. What the hell was she going on about? "Charles, I... he followed her for a while and sent her a few texts. It was just-"

"Oh my God." I could not believe this girl, "You sent Charles, that drug addict from the therapy group after my girlfriend? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Lower your voice." She hurried, looking around us, "He's been clean for years, you know that."

"Oh God!" I grabbed my hair, pulling at it in anger, "You're insane. You're fucking insane."

I stood up, feeling the need to get away from her. I couldn't believe I'd liked this girl before, that we'd been friends. She was a psycho.

Tears filled her eyes, "Don't call me that. You know how much I hate it."

"It's the truth. I'm out of here." I backed away from her and the bar. After picking up my coat, I stumbled towards the exit, swaging a little. Outside was colder than I expected but nothing I couldn't handle.

I walked down the sidewalk angrily, "Evan! Evan! Wait!" she grabbed my arm but I slapped her hand and kept on walking, still swaging a little, "Please! Just wait! Evan! Please!" she appeared in front of me, stopping me.

"Get out of my way, Jane." I threatened.

"No, you can't leave like this. Let's talk it out, okay? Please, do it for us."

I gritted my teeth, "There is no us."

Tears rolled down her cheeks freely but it didn't affect me, not the way it affected me when Jules cried in front of me. Jane cling to my chest, "I made mistakes but I was desperate. I..." she paused, holding my face with both hands, "I love you. I love you so much. It's always been you."

I looked right into her eyes, removing her hands from my face, "It's never been you."

She looked like she'd been slapped.

I carried on, "I never loved you, Jane and I'm glad I didn't. I was blind to see the kind of person you are."

She clung to my chest this time, "No, don't say that. You know me."

I took her hands and pushed them away from my chest, "Have a good life."

I walked around her and moved forward. I could hear her sobs behind me but I didn't even flinch. She had put in danger the girl I loved. She had tried to ruin the chance I had to be happy. She was out of my life for good.

I walked for a while, letting the cold ease my anger.

Subconsciously, my body took me to Jules' house. I stood in front of the two-story house with my hands inside my coat pockets and white smoke coming out of my mouth. The lights were on. What time was it?

It felt like it'd been forever since the last time I saw her. I wanted to see her so badly, to hold her in my arms, to feel her against me. But I would settle with just seeing her from afar if she let me.

I sound like a stalker.

It was Monday night. We couldn't meet last Saturday because of that stupid snowstorm and we had postponed for Tuesday.

Tomorrow...

It seemed so far away. It felt like life enjoyed prolonging my misery.

I pulled my phone out and looked for her contact. I just needed to hear her voice, just for a second.

She answered at the third ring, "Hey."

Her sweet angelic voice filled my ears and I closed my eyes, enjoying it, "Hey."

Silence.

"Evan, what are you doing?"

"Just talk to me." I pleaded, "Tell me anything. I just need to hear your voice."

"You sound... are you drunk?"

I laughed a little, "No, just a little tipsy."

"Where are you?"

I hesitated, "You really don't want to know that."

"Evan, where are you?" she insisted.

"In front of your house."

"What?" I heard some noises and then she appeared in the living room window. Her hair in a messy bun. My heart skipped a beat. God, I missed her so much, "Are you out of your mind? It's freezing out there!"

"It wouldn't be the first time I risk my life for you."

She glared at me and instead of looking frightening, she looked adorable, "It's not the time for jokes. For God sakes, Evan." She hung up.

I stared at her confused. She disappeared from the window and a minute later, she stormed out of the house. As she grew closer, I could see the little frown on her forehead. She didn't look happy. Wasn't she happy to see me? Because I was, I couldn't stop the grin forming on my lips.

"Hey, beautiful." I whispered, grinning like an idiot.

She shook, rubbing her arms, "You're crazy."

Up close, her face was a little red from the sudden cold and her lips...

Don't look at her lips, Evan.

Now it's not the time.

She still had that little frown on her forehead, was she pissed at me? "I didn't mean to show up like this..." I trailed off, "I just... wanted to see you for a second." And hold you, and kiss you and hear your voice until I fall asleep.

"What were you thinking? Drinking and walking around in this weather? Come on in. I'll call you an Uber." She stated, turning around.

I reached out and held her hand, stopping her. She turned slightly to look at our joined hands, "Wait. Just wait." I cleared my throat, organizing my thoughts, "I know I shouldn't be here. I just..." I squeezed her hand lovingly, "I miss you so much." Her frown disappeared and I saw that blush I found adorable filling her cheeks, "I miss who I am when I'm with you."

"And who are you when you're with me?"

"I'm a happy man."

She smiled, making my heart race in my chest, "You're drunk."

"Drunk in love." I sang, pulling her to me.

She shouldn't have smiled like that, it made me forget everything. It made feel like she was letting me in again.

She stumbled, crashing against me. She looked up to me, those endless blue eyes hunting me, "Let's get inside. It's cold." She pushed against my chest to get away and it hurt. But I let her push me away, breaking all contact between us.

I wasn't being fair to her. She asked for time. We would have all the time of the world to chat the next day. I shouldn't be pressuring her like this, especially after drinking that much.

I raised my hands in the air, "I'll go now. Thank you for letting me your pretty face."

She blushed again, "You're not leaving like this. Evan," I blew her a kiss and stumbled backwards to the sidewalk, "Evan!"

I stopped and stared at her for a second, "You're right." I said and relief washed over her face.

"Thank God! Come on! Let's call you an Uber."

"I shouldn't be leaving like this." I remembered her words as clear as day. I walked up to her and held her face with both hands, "I should man up and kiss you."

I pressed my lips against her softly, giving her enough time and space to push me away and when she didn't, I kissed her with all I had. Ours lips rubbing, feeling, brushing against each other, sending my heart into a daze. Her hands crawled to my hair and she pulled me to her, kissing me back with so much passion, it let me breathless. I caressed her face gently and broke the kiss. Our heavy breathing mixing.

"Just remember what we have when you make a choice tomorrow." I gave her one last short kiss before backing away and leaving.

Just remember, Jules. 

xx

Author's note: I can't thank you enough for the patience and time you have put to this story. Just one more chapter for the end :) I'm both excited and nostalgic. 

Love, guys,

Ariana G.