"You only know you love her when you let her go."

Song for the chapter is to the right :)

Enjoy!

xx

Chapter Fourteen

Shane...

As I grew closer to him, time seemed to slow down. Memories came to me, hunting my mind. I remembered his annoying arrogance, his conceited smirk, his disgusting remarks, even his ridiculous way to think the world circled around him.

But then I remembered all those times he had helped me out even though he had no reason to; like that time when he'd taken me to the river and invited me a McDonald's hamburger. He had also fought for me in Helen's birthday party. He had hugged me when I cried over Evan instead of making me fun of me. He had carried me through the rocks in river town.

I realized Mom was right, Shane was a good person behind that arrogant façade. His attitude was nothing but a wall to protect himself from getting hurt. He didn't want to get close to anyone, he didn't want to give them the power of being able to wound his core.  I remembered how vulnerable he had seemed when he was drunk, telling me he loved me.

However, nothing justified his actions. He shouldn't have dragged me in that closet and kissed me like that. I pulled my hands into fists. I really felt like slapping him right there but I knew he wasn't the only to blame, I shouldn't have kissed him back. God, but it'd been so hard to reject him again, feeling the vulnerability coming out of his pores.

His hazel eyes looked right into my blue ones as we took the last steps that would bring us face to face. I bit my lower in expectation. He pulled his earphones out of his ears.

We stopped walking and I had to tilt my head back to look at his face. He was serious, he was not giving me a mocking smile or a smirk. His lips were pressed in a tight line. Having him this close, made me realize how bad I wanted to slap him for causing all this mess. I waited for him to speak but I was surprise to hear him say,

"Do it," he encouraged and I frowned, "Slap me. I deserve it."

"How do you know-"

The ghost of a smile formed on his lips, "You are pretty readable," I actually considered giving him a good slap but what for? It wouldn't change anything. It would do no good to anyone.

I unclenched my fits, "I'm not violent person," Shane stared at me in silence and I could only stare right back at him. I'd thought of thousands of insults to yell at him when that moment came, but as I stood there, I couldn't find myself to say any of them.

Silence surrounded us. Everything seemed to be written in our eyes.

Finally, Shane averted his gaze, scratching the back of his head. When he looked back at me, all seriousness was gone, his usual playful expression was back, "So, what are you doing out so late?" even his tone had gone back to normal.

"I'm taking an extra course," I relaxed my shoulders.

"Let me guess, math?" he smiled at me.

"No," I sighed, "Creative writing,"

"Oh, getting poetic for me, aren't we?" he smirked at me and I gave him a really look, "You don't need to go as far as learning poetry to get me, babe,"

I rolled my eyes, "Don't call me babe,"

"You know you like it," he was back to being flirting, arrogant Shane in full motion.

I realized that was Shane's MO, he always acted as if nothing happened. He had done the same thing when he had told me he loved me. He lied to me, saying he didn't remember a thing. This time was a little different though, he had told me to slap him at the beginning. Maybe, he was testing me to see if I still talked to him or if I would completely ignore him after what happened. Either way, I was okay with him avoiding the subject. I had no energy left to get into it, not with the recent events with Evan.

I rubbed my face, in a hopeless attempt to push some of the sadness away.

"Are you okay?" Shane asked with genuine concern in his voice. I looked at him.

"What do you think?" I answered tiredly. My relation-ship was ruined because of him.

Shane looked guilty for a second, "I..." he cleared his throat, "Are you hungry?" his question made me frown.

It was then I realized I hadn't had dinner before going to CW class, I'd been that excited, "Yeah, a little,"

"Would you like some pizza?" I gazed at him curious of where he was going with this, "I know a place. It's a few blocks away," oh, was he...? "We could walk there,"

I hesitated, "Shane, I don't think that's a good idea," his face fell, "I'll eat something home. Good night, Shane." I walked past him. I'd taken a few steps when I heard his voice again.

"Jules, wait," I stopped but didn't turn around, "I'm sorry." The words echoed around me, surprising me. I'd never expected him to apologize. In fact it was the first time he apologized to me. I turned to him. He stood there, shoulders hanging in a defeat manner and guilty plastered on his face, "I'm sorry, okay? I screwed up. I know I did. I just..." he trailed off unsure, "I'm bad at this, okay? I suck at these things. I don't know how to handle it but I do know I don't wanna lose you."

"Shane-"

"You're the first female friend I have ever had without banging." I grimaced at the word and folded my arms across my chest, "You changed me for good. I need you in my life,"

"I love him," I felt the need to point that out. Shane's expression morphed into a painful one but he pushed through.

"I know," he spoke, taking a step forward, "And im not asking you to reciprocate my feelings. I'm just asking for your friend-ship, that's all. You are a good friend and I need you in my life to yell at me when I'm being a jerk, which is pretty often by the way,"

"You dragged me into a closet and kissed me against my will. I can't just move on as if nothing had happened," I explained, getting a little upset.

"I know that and I apologized,"

"Sometimes, apologies are not enough," I said honestly.

"What else can I do?" he asked, holding his hands up in defeat, "Tell me and ill do it. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

I sighed, "I'm too tired for this."

"Jules, please," he pleaded, coming closer, "Give me a chance. Let me prove you I can be a good friend,"

"Why?" I asked, looking right into his eyes, "Why do you want to be my friend?"

"I told you. You're the first female friend I've ever had,"

"Without banging," I quoted him.

"Yeah," he smiled at his own words.

"Listen, I'm tired, sleepy and hungry so I better get home now," I gave my back to him.

"I'm lonely," I stopped in my tracks.

I turned to him once again, "that's a lie. You're Shane Mason, you're popular. You could have any girl you want,"

"That's not true. I can't have you," he blurted out, "Sorry, that was inappropriate." He scratched the back of his head, "I just need a friend, Jules. That's all."

"What about Jordan?"

"He's my only friend plus he has Lau."

"Why me?"

"I trust you. Besides, it's not like I can go around finding friends out of the blue. We've known each other for a while now," his pleading eyes scrutinized my face, hoping for a sign of approval.

Oh, well...

"Fine," I said, aiming my finger at him, "But if you do something funny, I'll stop talking to you for good." His face lit up.

He grinned at me, "You won't regret it. Pizza then?"

I shook my head, "Too soon, maybe next week we can hang out."

"Fair enough."

"Alright. Have a nice night, Shane." I smiled at him before starting to walk away.

"Goodnight, minion." He whispered behind me, "And Jules?"

"Yes?"

"If I were him, I'd forgive you." I didn't even bother turning around, "You're worth it." And with that he was gone.

!!

"Iced coffee or latte?" Lau asked me, leaning over our table. She knew those were my two options when we came to the coffee shop.

I shrugged, yawning, "What does my face tell you?" she held her chin, analyzing my face.

"Neither of them. You, my friend, need a strong black coffee today,"

I smiled at her, "That's why you're my bestie."

"Hey," Jason protested, sitting next to me, forcing me to move over, "I thought I was your bestie,"

"Don't get jealous, Jay-Jay," Lau said, pushing her hair over her shoulder, "We can share her. We are like Edward and Jacob, Peeta and Gale, Eric and Bill, and so on."

Jason scowled at her, "Who the hell are those people?"

Lau rolled her eyes, "You need to read more,"

"And you need to bring our drinks, lady," Jason retorted.

Lau glared at him, "Don't order me around." Jason opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

"Guys, stop it. I really need a coffee," I yawned again.

"Ok, I'll go get it. What do you want, Jason?"

"A green tea," both of us snapped our heads towards my best friend, he was an alien among us.

"What?" he asked, glancing between us.

"Tea? Are you serious?" Lau folded her arms across her chest.

"What? I like tea," he defended.

"No, you don't." I remembered him puking when we were 12 and he'd tasted some weird tea mom had prepared for us to be healthier. After that, Jason couldn't even look at a tea cup.

Jason sighed in defeat, "Fine. I just read this article about British liking tea so..." Lau burst out laughing.

I chuckled, "for the last time, you are not British, Jason."

"I know but I like their culture,"

"That doesn't mean you have to copy it. You can't force yourself to like tea," I told him seriously, "Bring him a mocha, Lau."

"I'll be right back," she stated, giving Jason one last amused look.

Two black coffees later, I was still extremely sleepy. I rested my head on the table, looking at the window. Cold wind was dancing outside, moving the trees slightly. The Fairy's coffee shop sign was hanging precariously from a post, swaying with the wind. We had the habit of coming here after school was over.

"I can't believe he made you organize the library," Lau commented after I told her about the night before. My second class with Evan had been the same, except for the fact he left me in the library with Fred to organize it. By the time I got home, it was late and I had homework to do. I went to sleep at 1 am or something, only to get up early and go to school.

"He's punishing her," Jason stated, sipping in his third mocha coffee.

"He has no right to do that." Lau sounded indignant. I lifted my head, leaning back in my seat.

"Maybe I should quit this class,"

"No way," Lau said, placing her hand on the table, "You love this class. You've wanted this extra course since you entered high school. Don't give it up for him,"

"Lau is right," Jason agreed, "Besides, he's just wounded. Give him time."

Shane's words rushed back to me.

If I were him, I'd forgive you. You're worth it.

I glanced at Jason, "If you were him, would you forgive me?" Jason seemed surprised for a second and then a smile spread across his lips.

"Of course," he replied, I sighed, "Just give him time, Jules. That's all he needs,"

"How can I do that when I see him every day?" I wondered aloud.

Lau extended her hand over the table to squeeze mine, "Everything is going to be okay. What's meant to be, will be." Lau gave me a reassuring smile, "Now, do you need another coffee before heading to your course?"

I nodded, "Last thing I want is to fall asleep in his class." Lau got up the table, pulling her hair up in a messy bun. Jason watched her every move discretely but I noticed. She left and I pinched his arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" he winced, rubbing his arm.

"Stop looking her like that," I reprehended, "You're lucky Lau is naïve enough not to notice but she will if you don't stop,"

"She can't possibly find out what I feel just by the way I look at her,"

"She can if you keep looking at her like you're in a desert and she's a cold, refreshing Coca-Cola,"

"Is it that bad?" I nodded, "Okay, I'll try."

"Good." 

"By the way, I promised Helen I wouldn't tell you but Evan is staying at her place,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, he'd been staying there for the past few days. Her aunt is so happy to have him there."

I lowered my gaze, "I'm happy for him. He shouldn't leave in that house in Rivertown,"

"Yeah, Helen is excited he agreed to stay with them for a couple days. She wants him out of that house,"

"She hates me, doesn't she?" Jason didn't say anything, I looked at him.

"She is really protective of him." I knew what his evasive answer told me: She did hate me. How could I blame her? She loved her brother, and I hurt him when I'd promised her I wouldn't.

Lau came back and I drank my coffee as fast as I could without burning my tongue. I left the coffee shop, getting my hands inside my jeans' pockets. It was chilly outside. It was a ten minutes' walk to the facility when I was getting the course but I enjoyed it.  

I crossed the street, getting on the side walk and for a moment, I got a creepy feeling of being watched. I looked around but I saw nothing more than parked cars and a few people walking down the sidewalk like me. I shook my head, feeling paranoic.

Creative writing class, here we come.

Unknown's P.O.V

I rested my chin on the steering wheel, watching her. She was wearing jeans and a pink, flowered t-shirt. Her brown hair was loose, moving along with the wind. She crossed the street and her big blue eyes looked in my direction. What's she seeing me? I didn't think so. My black SUV was just another car parked at the side of the street. The engine was off so there was nothing to be suspicious about.

Jules got on the sidewalk, and I lost sight of her. I got out of the car, moving towards her in long, fast strides. I got close enough to smell her sweet perfume.  

Stop. She will see you.

My conscious chastised me, making me stop in my tracks. I watched her walk further away until she disappeared in a corner.

You'll know me soon, Jules.

You will.