For those who didn't reach the published version of my Wattpad Love. Crookwell is the name of Jules' town.

And surprise! This chapter starts with a little of Evan's point of view ツ

Growing up

Chapter Twelve

Evan

140 kph

The white numbers glowed in the darkness of my car. That set off the speed alarm in the car system. I'd had it set up like that to avoid fines for speeding but that night I simply didn't care.

Jules...

I squeezed the steering wheel. I couldn't help picturing her kissing that brainless douchebag inside my head. The image was torturing me, adding fuel to the anger within me. I clenched my teeth.

She was the first person I'd let in since my parents death. She was the first person I trusted. Hell, she was the first one I'd actually opened up and told her the entire story of that night.

Her tears-filled eyes came to my mind, hunting me. I couldn't deny how much it pained me to see her cry, but I was seeing red in that house. I needed to leave. I had to cool down. Besides, I had the right to be selfish.

She kissed him back.

That thought made me sick to my stomach. I loved the girl. I wanted to be everything for her.

She was mine. Period.

The drizzle was turning into heavy rain on my windshield when I reached Crookwell. I stopped on a red light, breathing heavily. To my left I had the street that would lead me to the road to Rivertown and to my right, it was Crookwell, I could see the town's blurred lights from where I was. Jules' worry face rushed to me.

She was right. I was in no condition for driving, I chose Crookwell. It was close and calmed. The road to Rivertown was long and rocky, and with this rain there were probably fallen branches and mud on the way.

I parked in front of a Victorian light green house. I really hoped I chose the right house.

She kissed him back.

Bitterness filled my veins slowly. I killed the engine, resting my forehead on the steering wheel.

Breathe, Evan. Think of a calmed place.

I remembered my therapist words. How could I think of a freaking calmed place when I couldn't stop picturing her in his arms, her soft lips against his own?

"Fuck!" I hit the dashboard three times before leaning back in my seat.

I let out a long breath, messing up my hair. I glanced at the house, unsure of making the right call by coming here but I was too unstable for driving. I grasped a hoodie from my backseat and put it on. It was raining pretty heavily outside.

I got off the car, running through the gardened path to the house. When I was secure beneath the porch's roof, I knocked on the door.

"I'm coming!" I heard her voice and it instantly calmed me. It sounded like home. She opened her door, looking beyond surprise when her eyes landed on me.

"Evan," she whispered, scanning me, "are you alright?"

I shook my head.

Her face contorted in sadness. Without saying a word, she stepped forwards and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in her neck.

Not only did she sound like home. She smelled like home, too.

After all, she was my home.

Jules.

Time stopped for me. I didn't move, I didn't even flinch when the rain got so heavy; it was actually hitting my bare flesh hard. And then it came the cold, rushing towards me, making me shiver.

I stood there in the middle of the road, soaked and sobbing. I knew I had to get inside but somehow I was punishing myself for what I'd done. However, no amount of physical pain could match what I felt inside.

I had something beautiful, something perfectly imperfect and I had destroyed it. I had stepped on it, and disrespected it.

Was that the reason I wanted to find love? So I could destroy it with my bare hands.

You're being too hard on yourself, my conscious said sadly.

I walked back to my house, shaking, rubbing my hands over my arms.

I lost Him.

I swear I felt like I was being stabbed in the chest when I thought about losing him. I closed the door behind me and rolled down until I was sitting on the floor, soaking the carpet beneath me. If something happened to him, I would never forgive myself.

Oh Evan...

Day 3 without Evan.

Saturday used to be my favorite day of the week, it was free of school which meant more time to spend with my boyfriend or talk to him over the phone. Ever since I'd met Evan I'd gotten used to talk to him every day, it was a habit, a need. So detaching myself from that habit was painful. Not knowing anything about him was killing me.

Was he okay? Were we over?

I'd tried calling him but there was no answer. I hadn't told anyone about what happened; I just avoided questions about Evan when Lau or Jason asked. Laura knew what I'd done but she didn't know I'd told Evan.

"Sweetie?" mom called me out while we were having breakfast, "are you alright?"

Pretended smile, here we come.

"Yes,"

Mom frowned at me, "then why are you starting at your fruits instead of eating them?"

"Oh," I realized I'd been staring at the chopped strawberries for a while, my heart sank  lower in my stomach, "I'm not really hungry,"

"Eat," mom demanded.

"Mom, I..." I trailed off, trying to let her know to leave me alone just for this time. Mom sighed, pulling her chair towards mine.

She picked up a slice of watermelon with her fork and offered it to me, "open your mouth,"

"Mom, I'm not five,"

"But you're still my little girl," she smiled at me, "and I will always be here to pick you up when you fall," my eyes watered.

"I..."

"Shh, it's okay," she shooed me; "You don't have to say anything. I understand," I opened my mouth to take the slice of fruit in, "good girl," she praised, wiping off a tear that had escaped my eyes.

My mother was feeding me and I didn't feel childish or immature. I felt understood. I felt loved.

We were having such intimate, deep moment. I realized she would always be there for me as long as she lived. I could count on her; I didn't have to face this alone.

No one wants to be alone when they're in pain.

After finishing my breakfast, I cried over her shoulder silently. I needed that hug more than anything in the world.

Day 8 without Evan.

"I'm sorry," Laura said, sitting on her bed. She invited me over since mom and I had been carrying a few things to our new house. I'd told her everything, I needed people to get through this, "I'm really sorry, Twinny, but you did the right thing,"

"I know."

"No wonder you've been like a zombie this week, all I could get from you were yes and no answers," why was it so hard to smile? "Everything will be alright,"

I was having a hard time believing that. Evan had not answered my calls or texts. I'd stopped bothering him three days ago. There was no point in calling if he didn't want to know anything about me. If he wanted to talk, he knew where to find me.

"Come on," Lau pulled me to my feet, "Stop that Bella swan crawling attitude, you're better than that,"

I sighed, looking at her, "I just... I've never dealt with a breakup before. It's killing me,"

"Yes but it's not the end of the world, Jules," she held my shoulders, "there's one thing I've learned from life, it keeps going." her eyes had a glint of determination.

"It's harder when I know everything is my fault. Guilt is not something I am used to."

"It will eventually go away. Everything passes, time is natural healer. You'll see it. Just give yourself some time to heal,"

I gave her a sad smile, "He's not coming back, is he?"

"I don't know but it's better if you don't expect anything from him. That way it will hurt less if he doesn't come back to you,"

I blew out some air and Lau gave me a sympathetic look.

"You'll be okay." she assured.

"Promise?"

She nodded, "Promise."

Day 10 without Evan.

"That's the last box." Jordan stated, leaning against the wall. It was almost midnight; we'd been bringing all our things to the new house. The house was beautiful, it was bigger than my previous one so I'd probably feel lonelier when mom went to work. Good thing was, Lau was right next to me. I could actually see her room from mine.

I was grateful we decided to move out that weekend, it was keeping my head off things. I really tried not to think about Evan but when I had nothing to do, it was impossible. Therefore, I needed to keep myself busy. And believe me when you're moving out, you have no room to think.

The new house had a beautiful garden; I promised myself I would water these flowers. I didn't want another flower cemetery in my front yard.

"Jules!" Lau exclaimed excitedly, "Your mom is talking to a hot guy on the street," I frowned and followed her to the Window.

Jordan gave us a disapproving look, "Really, girls?"

We pulled the curtain aside to look outside. And mom was in fact talking to a tall, well-built man. She was smiling shyly at him.

"Your mom so wants him," Jordan joined us, looking above our heads since we were smaller.

"Shut up!" I said, curiosity getting the best of me.

The man caressed her face tenderly. They seemed comfortable around each other as if they'd been...

Dating for a while.

Was he the cardiologist mom mentioned few months ago?

"Oh God, he's going to kiss her," Lau announced, holding her mouth. I gasped at the scene. They shared short, gentle kiss.

"This is better than late night soap operas," Jordan muttered.

"You watch soap operas?" I asked in disbelief.

"Erm... I...." he cleared his throat, "of course not."

Lau and I shared glances before saying, "He watches soap operas,"

"They're coming!" Jordan shouted.

And if you have ever spied on someone, you'll know the panicking feeling when they're coming.

The three of us panicked, walking around the living room like lost baby elephants. It was ridiculous, really.

When mom opened the door, I pretended to be shaking dust off an invisible couch because I realized a little too late there was nothing in front of me. Lau was posing like a runaway model and Jordan was flexing his arms muscles.

Mom gave us a what the hell look but pushed through it, "Jules, this is john. John this is my daughter Jules and her friends, Jordan. And Laura,"

They waved their hands at him while I approached to shake his hand. I needed to take a better look at the man. He'd been exploring my mother's mouth outside our house. I had rights.

"Nice to meet you, sir," I smiled politely at him. John was a tall, well-built and blond man with envied fair skin. His eyes were hazel with big eyelashes. He reminded me of someone. His reassemble with Shane was unbelievable. He looked like he was in his late thirties.

"Your mother has told me wonders about you," he said returning my smile.

"She has?"

"Yes, she said you like writing," he stated, taking a step forward, "I have a friend who teaches creative writing courses. Are you interested?"

My face brightened up, "Yes!"

"Alright, his classes are at 7 pm every day in Colton's facility. It's close from here; I'll give him a call so you can start on Monday,"

"Oh but how much does it cost?" I asked, knowing mom would probably flip if it was too expensive. We were economically unstable until we sell our previous house.

"Don't worry, it's on me," he placed his hands inside his pants.

Oh so he's trying to win me over.

I mentally shrugged. I didn't mind getting a creative writing course for free. Besides, I didn't miss the hopeless in love way mom was staring at him. She was happy and that was enough for me to approve it.

"Okay," I gave him a toothy grin.

Day 12 without Evan

I should really stop counting the days, it's pathetic.

Nightfall was here, I let the fresh night air behind me as soon I as entered Colton's facility. It was an old school, where adults took night classes. It had nostalgic aura around.

Is it just me or schools without students look depressing?

I saw a group of students, heading towards me. They walked past me except for one.

A ginger guy waved his hand at me, "Hey there, coming for CR class?" I nodded, "end of hallway,"

"Thank you."

"No problem. I'm Fred." he offered his hand.

I took it, "Jules,"

"I'm the administrator here. If you have questions or trouble, let me know,"

"Okay." he continued his way and I continued mine. I found the classroom but it was empty.

I checked the time on my phone: 6:47 pm. I'd arrived early. I was really excited about this course. I was like a child in Christmas waiting to open his gifts. It was the first thing that had actually made me smile since the Evan incident. I didn't know which seat to pick so I chose one in the middle. I was drawing faces on my notebook when I heard someone clear his throat.

I lifted my gaze to find someone standing on the door. I gasped. My eyes menaced to pop out of their sockets. He was wearing dark pants, a formal dark blue shirt and black shoes. He simply stood there staring at me. He looked equally shocked to see me there. My heart was pumping blood fast through my veins.

"Evan," I whispered so low, he probably didn't hear me.

"What are you doing here?" his tone was cold and accusing. He probably thought I'd planned all this to see him. I didn't know he was taking that class. I couldn't find my voice until I noticed the cold way he was looking at me. That gave me strength to speak.

"I'm taking this class," my voice was filled with nervousness and indecision.

He looks so hot.

I thought, checking him out. He looked like a bad school boy.

Evan pressed his lips in a tight line, "Why? How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't, I swear." I affirmed seriously.

"So is it a coincidence?" he cocked an eyebrow. I nodded, "as if I'm going to believe that," he walked inside, placing a black bag on the desk.

Wait...

No, that couldn't be possible.

Two girls and a guy walked inside.

"hey, Mr. Woods," They greeted him, getting their seats. My eyes widened.

"You're..." I trailed off, shocked.

"Yes, Jules. I'm your teacher." he said, smirking at me.

Oh God!

Leave it to me to have my hot ex-boyfriend for a teacher.