Jamie wasn't sure what he was thinking of going to John's house, except out of all of his friends John might sort of get it. He could well imagine what Laura would think of him reading his mom's diary but John wouldn't be so censorious. Kevin knew nothing of the situation, and Lucy was far too closely connected. It was only when he was knocking on the door that he questioned his wisdom in turning up. John's parents might not welcome him after he'd thumped their son.

'Jamie!' Darlene exclaimed her face betraying nothing. 'I wasn't expecting to see you.'

'Sorry Mrs Lombardo,' he said looking down.

'It's Darlene. Honestly you boys.' She laughed uproariously, quite the contrast to his mom. 'What on earth got into you?'

He shrugged. 'John didn't tell you?'

Darlene gave him a rueful look as she led him through to the living room. 'He said you took umbrage at how he treated Laura.'

Jamie smiled to himself, he couldn't see John saying 'umbrage' somehow. 'Nah, that was just my excuse to hit him. Well to hit someone. Although John was an ass to her.'

Darlene pursed her lips for a moment and then smiled again. 'Junior has a bit of growing up to do, he's too young to be settling down with anyone.' She paused, and John Junior entered the room looking startled to see Jamie sat there.

'What are you doing here? Come for round two.' He bumped his fists with Jamie, and Darlene rolled her eyes.

'No, I uh thought I should explain to your mom what happened, that it was my fault,' Jamie said although that had only crossed his mind when he was stood on their doorstep. Darlene tilted her head, and taking a deep breath Jamie told her everything. 

'Oh Jamie, you shouldn't have read Lottie's diary,' Darlene said sounding deeply disappointed. 

'I know,' Jamie said shame-faced. 'You knew all this stuff, didn't you?'

Darlene stood up and walked to the drinks cabinet pouring herself something out of one of the bottles. John's eyes narrowed, and Darlene gave him an impatient look.

'Don't you start,' she said before turning her attention back to Jamie. 'Yes, I knew about your father. I knew that was why Lottie left him.'

'Why didn't she tell me?' That was what he couldn't get his head around, it was almost like she'd been protecting Nick.

'She didn't want to hurt you,' Darlene said squeezing his hand. 'You were so little, and you didn't remember. What good would it have done?'

'I'd rather have known...all these years I've been spending time with dad...he's an animal. Why would she let me go to him?'

Darlene looked flummoxed. 'I'm not sure Jamie. I don't think she had much of a choice, your dad was entitled to access.'

Jamie scoffed. 'I don't think he would have cared. These days he cancels half the time, and before that, he used to palm me off on my grandparents.'

'They're your family too,' Darlene said softly. 'You had a right to know them.' Jamie shrugged his shoulders, his dad's parents were old and dull but he knew he'd sound like a brat if he expressed that opinion.

'So did mom's friends all know what he was doing to her?' he asked instead, almost seeking to apportion blame elsewhere. Darlene took another sip of her drink but before she could answer the front door slammed and John Senior came in. Darlene looked at her drink, her face guilty.

'Hi Johnny, we're in the living room,' she called brightly. John came in grumbling about work but he stopped when he saw Jamie.

'Jamie's just had a bit of disturbing news,' Darlene said quickly, her hands tight around her glass. 

John shook his head slightly when he caught sight of it. 'Bit early for that isn't it,' he remarked mildly.

'Yes, it is,' Darlene admitted. 'But something's happened.' Jamie listened as Darlene explained to John; to his own ears the story sounded more and more incredible. John went and poured himself a drink, and Jamie did not miss Darlene's smug look.

'So you guys knew all about this?' Jamie asked again.

'Not at the time,' Darlene said. 'But Lottie told me afterwards, after she left your dad. But I probably don't know the half of it, it's not something she likes talking about.'

Jamie frowned. 'But how could no one know? I mean some of the stuff I read, he must have beaten her black and blue. How could you not have seen?' He realised he sounded accusatory, and when he met Darlene's eyes he could have sworn he saw guilt in them.

'I didn't see so much of Lottie then,' Darlene said clearing her throat. 'I never saw bruises or anything. And she never said a word. I did suspect something was wrong though. I mean I wasn't surprised when I found out. I should have looked more closely.'

John waved his hand, before downing his drink. 'That's not true Darlene, you did know, deep down.' Jamie's eyes flew to her but John shook his head. 'It was my fault, Jamie. Darlene knew something wasn't right, and I didn't take her seriously. I just thought she was gossiping, and I made excuses. If it was down to Darlene we would have done something, she always said Nick was bad news but I didn't want to interfere.'

'No John it wasn't your fault,' Darlene said hastily. 'I was Lottie's best friend, she should have been able to come to me.'

'Yeah but she was obviously terrified, and I didn't want to get involved.' John got to his feet to get himself another drink, and Jamie was taken aback by the anger in his voice. 'There was one time when you were about three Jamie, I gave you and your mom a ride home. As soon as Charlotte saw Nick's car on the drive she changed. She couldn't get out of my car fast enough, she was nervous as hell.' He inhaled deeply. 'Then Nick came out. I'm not the most perceptive guy but even I could tell he was angry, and that your mom was scared of him. I tried to convince myself he was just an asshole.' He took a large gulp of his drink before turning back to Jamie. 'I'll never forgive myself for that, I might as well have hit her myself.'

'Don't be stupid dad,' John Junior said, his voice indignant. He'd been so quiet Jamie had almost forgotten he was there.

'No, Charlotte was our friend, and we weren't there for her. We should have been.' He looked at Darlene, his face pained. 'I mean I should have been.' Jamie could hear the guilt in his voice, and again the unwelcome thought that something had gone on between John and his mom popped into his head.

'You were there for Lottie when it counted,' Darlene said so quietly that Jamie had to strain to hear her.

'It should never have got to that stage. You knew after she'd lost the baby that something was seriously wrong. If we'd intervened then....'

John Junior exchanged a look with Jamie, clearly as bewildered as he was. 'What are you guys talking about?'

Darlene bit her lip, and John frowned.

'You do know everything, Jamie?' Darlene asked quietly.

'How would I know?' he snapped his frustration spilling over. 'Everyone's been lying to me my whole life.' Darlene exchanged a wary look with John. 'Look you'd better just tell me cos I'm gonna go ask my mom, and dad, and everyone. If John and my mom had an affair...'

Darlene spluttered. 'Oh my god, that's what you're thinking! No, it's nothing like that.' She sighed, and her face softened. 'Well, I guess you are gonna find out eventually. After your mom lost the baby she was put on tranquillisers, she was like a zombie.'

'But mom never takes drugs,' Jamie said. Charlotte wouldn't even take a tablet for a headache.

'No she won't nowadays but she did back then. She was in such a low place, and one day she took too many.'

Jamie's eyes widened. 'She overdosed?'

'It was an accident,' Darlene said rapidly. 'She didn't mean too, I guess she just wanted to feel better and she lost count of how many she'd taken.'

Jamie felt his stomach sink, just when he thought it was as bad as it could get. 'And what happened?'

'We found her, me and John. I can't even remember why we went to see her but we did, and she was acting weird. Johnny realised she'd what she'd done.' Jamie's eyes flitted over to John, and he felt a mixture of emotions. Shame for thinking he'd seduced his mom, gratitude that he might have saved her life. 

'It was an accident,' Darlene repeated grabbing his hand and squeezing it. 'You mustn't read too much into this.' He nodded dumbly. 'I'm serious Jamie. In all of this, the only bad guy is your father.' Jamie met her eyes and she flushed.

Yes his father, his dad, was the bad guy. And it hurt like hell to admit it.

                                                                   ~~~

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