Jamie had yet to return his mom's diary even though he'd found out what he needed to know, or he sort of had at any rate. His parent's marriage had been awful, and his mom was probably still in love with Louis when she'd married his dad. He wasn't sure what to think about it all. He opened the diary remembering that the entries had become quite mundane. Maybe his parents had simply realised they were incompatible and there was no dramatic breakup.

He flipped to December 1964 where he'd stopped reading, and the next entry wasn't until sometime in 1965. He'd noticed his mom was now including a lot less detail, or maybe nothing much was happening that was worth recording.

Nick has been such a grouch lately, I can't do anything right. I got an A on an essay and all he could say was "about time." I'm sick of him putting me down.

I asked Nick about going to California for the summer and he actually said he'd consider it!

Something has happened I just know it. Nick came in slamming the door and he stormed to the bedroom. I'd best keep out of his way.

Why do I always do it? I know when Nick's in a mood I should keep out of his way but I couldn't stop myself asking him what was going on. He's barely said a word all week. He told me to shut the hell up and keep out of his way because it was all my fault. I should have done what he said but I kept persisting. I wanted to know what was my fault. He swung for me saying I was a dumb slut who'd seduced him and ruined his career. I think he's missed out on a promotion again, and obviously, it's my fault. Sometimes I wish I'd never met him.

Jamie paused wondering what 'swung for' meant. It sounded to him like his dad must have hit his mom but maybe it was a turn of phrase, or his mom meant she'd got a verbal tongue lashing. He sure hoped that was all it was.

Nick said we can go to California for the summer. I thanked him but he said he wasn't doing it for me, he was going to see if he could get a job there as his career is dead here. I do hope he finds something even though it'll mean I'll have to transfer for my final year.

We're staying with my mom for the summer. Nick didn't really want to but he didn't want to pay for a hotel either...honestly, there is no pleasing him.

Nick had a job interview today so I met up with Darlene. It was so cute watching Jamie and Junior play together, fingers crossed Nick gets a job locally. Darlene was pretty miserable though. I asked her what was wrong and she burst into tears! She thinks John's cheating. I didn't know what to say but John always had an eye for the girls.

I mentioned to Nick about John cheating and he laughed. He said Darlene couldn't expect any better when she was just a stupid, boring, housewife. I suspect his words were meant more as a warning to me, or a threat...

I am so happy!!! Nick's been offered a job here!! Of course, he's being a misery about it saying he doesn't really want to relocate but I don't care. I can't wait to move back home.

I met up with Darlene and Susan. It was almost like old times, being back together again, and yet it was a bit weird. Darlene's moping cos of John, and Susan's walking on air cos she's just got married...we're kinda on different wavelengths...

Darlene told me John confessed! He's seeing some waitress called Marlene. I almost laughed, how easy it must be for him to get their names mixed up! Darlene said he's promised to finish with her so they'll work it out. I don't know what to think. Well, I think she should leave him but then if I told her some of the things Nick's done I bet she'd tell me the same. It's not so simple really. I think she was a bit surprised I didn't have any words of wisdom for her.

Jamie closed the diary for a moment, he wasn't supposed to know this stuff. Not only was he intruding on his mom's private thoughts, but he was invading Darlene's privacy as well. John was obviously right about his dad but he would never tell him what he'd uncovered.

December 1965

I'm so happy, I think I might be pregnant. I haven't told Nick yet, I only suspect. I don't think he'll be very pleased but the timing is perfect! I'll have graduated just before it will be born.

January 1966

Nick guessed I was pregnant cos I've been throwing up the past few days. Fuming is not the word! He ranted and raved for hours. Said I was determined to be a burden on him, that we should have waited until I'd graduated, and I should have worked for a few years first to make a contribution to the family.

I barely feel sick now, this pregnancy is so much easier than Jamie's was, and Nick seems to have begrudgingly accepted it. He's stopped moaning.

I might have known it was too good to be true....I started miscarrying yesterday....Nick said maybe I was never pregnant. I think he was trying to make me feel better, he wasn't sneering that I'd been stupid for once. I know it's a miscarriage though, I can tell.

April 1966

I don't know what Nick's problem is, since we've been in California he's got worse. We don't even live near my family or friends, and no one at college knows anything about our marriage but he's so sour about everything. It's like he's determined not to be happy.

May 1966

I asked Nick if we could do something for my birthday and he said no. He suggested I ask my ex boyfriend to take me out! God, he's jealous of a guy who is not even in the country!

Well, my birthday was a total let down, I knew it would be. Nick didn't even have Jamie make me a card, I feel like he's punishing me.

I met up with Darlene and the kids, they are so sweet together. I wish Nick liked Darlene and John. I know John's kind of annoying but I make an effort with his friends so why won't he with mine? Darlene could see I was kinda miserable and I admitted I was upset about my birthday. She said she'd make dinner for us all, as a belated birthday celebration. I had to beg Nick to go, saying it was good for Jamie to mix with children his own age, eventually he agreed.

June 1966

I don't know where to begin with this...we went to Darlene's for dinner and it was fine to start with. Then John and Nick got into a discussion about manual work and its benefit to the economy versus the arts...I could tell Nick was putting John down and I was so embarrassed so I tried to intervene and change the subject. Eventually, they started talking movies and I thought that was an end to it. During the drive home Nick was silent, I tried to talk to him but he just ignored me. When we got home I put Jamie to bed, and he really let me have it...

I'd thought I was smoothing things over but Nick said I'd undermined him, and embarrassed him. I pointed out I was just trying to change the subject as John was uncomfortable. Nick said I cared more for my friend's husband than him. I laughed cos he was being absurd, I've known John all my life and I would never go there. Nick flew off the handle then, accusing me of disregarding his feelings and mocking him. I apologised but it was too late.

He grabbed hold of me and shuck me, I tried not to react, not wanting to provoke him. His fingers were digging into my arms and he was saying stuff about how I probably wished I was with John. He then ripped open the front of my dress, tearing it from the buttons, saying maybe I should have shown John what he'd be getting. I started crying then. I'd dressed up nicely for Nick and he went and ripped my dress....I know it's dumb but I was so upset.

That made him even angrier and he slapped my face telling me to shut the hell up, that he was sick of my dramatics and my tantrums. That made me cry all the more and he slapped me even harder....I yelled that I hated him and I wished he was dead...he began to hit me again and again....all over....I tried to get away from him and I clawed at his face....he shoved me then, and my head hit the fireplace as I fell down....

I must have been knocked out, the next thing I remember was waking up with Nick holding me in his arms. He was pressing a cloth against my head and there was blood everywhere. "Shush, it's okay," he said. I couldn't focus at first, I hurt all over.

"You did this to me," I said touching my head. My fingers were covered in blood and I could see my dress was ruined.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart," he said. "It'll never happen again, I love you. You're my world." He pulled me tighter into his arms and he began to cry...

                                                                                 ~~~

A/N This is the last of Charlotte's diary entries, it's up to Jamie now what he does with the information.

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