Sunwoo: sunnyD
Eric: sleepatron_3000
Hak: token_straight
Juyeon: manstandingemoji
Chanhee: hellokittyenjoyer
Jacob: Mom™
Kevin: moon_cheese
Sangyeon: Dilf
Hyunjae: Himbo™
Changmin: certified_creep
Younghoon: bread.

Private chat between hellokittyenjoyer and sleepatron_3000

hellokittyenjoyer: eric

sleepatron_3000: yessir o7

hellokittyenjoyer: what are you doing rn

sleepatron_3000: doing your mom

hellokittyenjoyer: wow
hellokittyenjoyer: im laughing so hard it's insane

sleepatron_3000: I'm a comedic genius I know
sleepatron_3000: but to answer your question,, im getting ready for a game rn

hellokittyenjoyer: you have a game today?

sleepatron_3000: i do :D
sleepatron_3000: OH EM GEE
sleepatron_3000: CHANHEE HYUNG YOU SHOULD COME WATCH ME
sleepatron_3000: IT STARTS AT 5 ARE YOU ABLE TO MAKE IT???
sleepatron_3000: HYUNJAE HYUNG SUNWOO AND KEVIN ARE COMING

hellokittyenjoyer: only those 3?

sleepatron_3000: well hak has a class, younghoon and jacob both have work, and i didn't bother asking the others

hellokittyenjoyer: not even juyeon?

sleepatron_3000: im sure hes busy anyways
sleepatron_3000: BUT YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME !!
sleepatron_3000: ITD BE SO COOL HYUNG

hellokittyenjoyer: sure why not

sleepatron_3000: YAYAYAYAY ʚ(*'꒳'*)ɞ

hellokittyenjoyer: BUT
hellokittyenjoyer: im gonna ask the rest of the gc to come

sleepatron_3000: okay???
sleepatron_3000: the more the merrier ¯\_( ツ )_/¯
sleepatron_3000: SEE YOU SOON <333

hellokittyenjoyer: ill wear your jersey number <333

━━━━━

✨yassified burn-outs ✨

hellokittyenjoyer: okay losers
hellokittyenjoyer: im kidnapping you all to erics game today

Dilf™: what

hellokittyenjoyer: i know youre old but dont tell me youre losing your eyesight already sangyeon
hellokittyenjoyer: eric has a game today at 5 and he deserves some support ۹( ÒہÓ )۶

moon_cheese: me, hyunjae, and sunwoo are already going

hellokittyenjoyer: ik,, he told me

Dilf: he plays volleyball right?

sunnyD: yes
sunnyD: and this game is very important
sunnyD: it's the first one of the season,, and hes on starting lineup as libero
sunnyD: so unless youre younghoon, hak, and jacob,, if you dont show up i will personally see to it that you never interact with youngjae ever again

certified_creep: i would ask if he's being serious, but im too scared (☍﹏⁰)｡

Himbo™: hes being serious :D
Himbo™: happened to a dude once in highschool
Himbo™: none of us have talked to hyunjun since sunwoo kicked his ass

sunnyD: and id do it again
sunnyD: he was a fucking asshole
sunnyD: anyways, see you all at 5
sunnyD: its in gym 3

manstandingemoji: i was going anyways

moon_cheese: oh ¿?

Dilf: oh ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

manstandingemoji: my friend Kim Rowoon is on the team and asked me to come

hellokittyenjoyer: DAMNIT
hellokittyenjoyer: ERIC SOHN YOU COWARD

moon_cheese: one day bestie,, one day

manstandingemoji: what

sunnyD: dont worry about it

manstandingemoji: im gonna worry about it

certified_creep: osehufgwohfgp

Dilf: OH I KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT

Himbo™: babe chill (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

Dilf: ignoring that
Dilf: Rowoon is that absolutely jacked dude,, right?

manstandingemoji: i mean
manstandingemoji: i guess?
manstandingemoji: people know him more for his height

sunnyD: ( ≖_≖)

moon_cheese: dw sunwoo,, i got this
moon_cheese: lee juyeon

manstandingemoji: kevin moon

moon_cheese: i want a full introduction to this Kim Rowoon

manstandingemoji: uh
manstandingemoji: sure(??)

moon_cheese: good
moon_cheese: see sunwoo? No violence needed

sunnyD: fine...
sunnyD: but the game's about to start so ill see you all soon

certified_creep: im still scared

Dilf: me too

Himbo™: good :D

Dilf: is it?
Dilf: i feel like im meeting a whole new sunwoo

certified_creep: no fr me too dofgihofig

hellokittyenjoyer: wdym
hellokittyenjoyer: he seems as bitchy as ever to me

certified_creep: idk he just never seemed like the guy to care about someone that much
certified_creep: but he's practically eric's mom

Himbo™: well yeah,, they've known each other since elementary school when eric moved here

certified_creep: no i know
certified_creep: im just saying

sunnyD: well stop saying and start cheering bc the game is starting

certified_creep: see thats the asshole i know

moon_cheese: OIHRGPIEH PLEASE YALL ARE FOUL

━━━━━

✨yassified burn-outs ✨

Himbo™: im thinking of becoming a stripper
Himbo™: thoughts?

bread.: and prayers bestie
bread.: jesus christ

certified_creep: why would you want to be a stripper??? You already work at a bar
certified_creep: isnt that close enough

Himbo™: okay yeah
Himbo™: but like
Himbo™: look at me
Himbo™:

Himbo™: im too hot to be wasting away in a pub with slimy college students

token_straight: says the slimiest college student of them all

hellokittyenjoyer: so youd rather waste away in a strip club with even slimier old men

hellokittyenjoyer: disgusting

Dilf: i mean...
Dilf: hyunjae is hot though

Himbo™: omg daddy ( ♥ ͜ʖ ♥)

hellokittyenjoyer: god you both disgust me

sleepatron_3000: IF YOU BECOME A STRIPPER CAN I BECOME ONE TOO???

sunnyD: YOUNGJAE NO

Himbo™: ERIC YES
Himbo™: LETS DO IT TOGETHER

sunnyD: absolutely not
sunnyD: Son Youngjae I am not letting you ruin your sports scholarship because you decided to join a strip club with your idiot of a faux-brother

sleepatron_3000: ੨( ･᷄ ︵･᷅ )ｼ

certified_creep: i think at this point theres nothing "faux" about it

moon_cheese: brothers who strip together stay together

hellokittyenjoyer: KEVIN FUCKING MOON YOU BETTER START PRAYING TO EVERY GOD THERE IS BECAUSE ONCE I FIND YOU I AM CUTTING OFF ALL YOUR FINGERS AND MAKING YOU EAT THEM

moon_cheese: shut up chanhee im being consistent with my character

token_straight: and kevin was asking who wrote fanfics
token_straight: when it was himself all along

bread.: look what youve done hyunjae

Himbo™: im an enabler what can i say

Mom™: what is happening

moon_cheese: babe chanhees threatening to torture me (ノдヽ)

Mom™: ...
Mom™: yknow forget i asked

sunnyD: owrhgorhfeorig
sunnyD: so real

hellokittyenjoyer: am i the only one noticing how quiet sangyeon got after hyunjae sent that photo

Himbo™: im sexc as fuck like what else should he do? Move on?

bread.: that picture was ugly tf you mean

Himbo™: bitch
Himbo™: who came in your cereal this morning

token_straight: isnt it pissed?

Himbo™: i said what i said
Himbo™: plus
Himbo™: younghoon's a slut on a good day and a downright sextoy on a bad one

hellokittyenjoyer: its true,, he is

Mom™: cover your eyes eric you dont want to see this

sleepatron_3000: (꒪ȏ꒪;)

sunnyD: too late

manstandingemoji: what the fuck

sleepatron_3000: HI JUYEONIE HYUNG (✿˵ᵕ ꈊᵕ˵)৴♡*৹

manstandingemoji: hi eric

Mom™: my saving grace lets please change the topic

moon_cheese: idk babe i was kind of interested in seeing where it would go

certified_creep: i wasnt
certified_creep: i feel like i just saw a pornhub video
certified_creep: and i hated it

token_straight: i have a really good feeling sangyeons watching porn right now

Mom™: guys
Mom™: please

manstandingemoji: i regret ever turning on my phone

sleepatron_3000: (｡•́︿•̀｡)

manstandingemoji: i would have just messaged you privately

sleepatron_3000: (*^_^*)

hellokittyenjoyer: ew oh my god he can read erics emojis

hellokittyenjoyer: thats disgusting

sunnyD: ^^^
sunnyD: i hate how close theyve gotten
sunnyD: especially when they never fucking see each other because soMEONE NEVER COMES TO SEE ME

sleepatron_3000: IM A BUSY GUY KIM SUNWOO

token_straight: guys how many times are you going to have this argument

sunnyD: as many times as it takes before youngjae stops being a hermit and comes to hang out with me

sleepatron_3000: ｡｡ ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

Himbo™: he hangs with me all the time tf you mean hermit

sunnyD: WOW  YOUNGJAE
sunnyD: JUST WOW

moon_cheese: brothers who hang together stay together

hellokittyenjoyer: kevin
hellokittyenjoyer: i am SO CLOSE
hellokittyenjoyer: to genuinely committing 1st degree murder
hellokittyenjoyer: IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY

bread.: i can practically see the knife shaking in his hand as he says that

certified_creep: so true ^^

Mom™: i give up

manstandingemoji: its okay jacob
manstandingemoji: at least you tried