Like every morning, the kitchens are bustling with activity. The wooden tables are stocked with guards, servants, courtiers, and other guests still here from the engagement celebration. I scowl at the thought of him now, at the thought of his arm wrapped around my back—holding me tightly as we danced. Even though it wasn't long ago, that night feels like a distant memory.

I walk into the kitchens and nod at Dalis, who gives me a confused look. "What are you doing here, girl?" Mills asks as he appears from the closet carrying a bucket of apples. I can already smell the pies baking in the oven. Apple, my favorite.

Marinating in cinnamon, a bowl of sliced apples sits on the counter. My mouth salivates at the sight. "I thought you might need help today. I wouldn't want to leave you unattended," I offer.

They exchange a look but Dalis shrugs. "Fine by me, as long as we don't have to pay you. Come, you'll assemble the pies," Mills orders. He ushers me over with that wrinkled hand and I do as he says.

For hours, I lose myself in the craft of rolling out the dough for the pies, my arms straining, and put that rolled out dough in the pie dish. Mills compliments the steadiness of my hands and even bothers to tell me I have the opportunity to be an excellent baker. That's the first compliment I've received in months, other than Renit telling me my eyes are bright.

Conversation dies in the kitchens by the hour. My stomach growls with hunger but I don't want to stop and face the cold reality of the world, even after Dalis leaves because her shift is over until lunch. She discards her dirty apron on the hook, bids her farewell, and strands me with Mills who finally ushers me out once my hands are clean of cinnamon.

I take a plate with me and fill it with cold breakfast foods. This will be enough to soothe the hunger in my stomach until the end of the day if I can eat it all. In Arego, I could barely eat enough at one point and now, after so many meals, my stomach can tolerate much more.

Only a few residents litter the tables now, either sitting by themselves or with one or two people. I scan the kitchens, my eyes falling on Darius sitting at the edge of a table, picking at the food on his plate. There's no better time than now to make amends. With a sigh, I slide my plate onto the table and plop myself down to the bench opposite of him.

His violet eyes look up at me and with a grin, he nods. "Come to hit me with another tray, Aimrey?" He asks.

"No, just figured you might like some company," I respond, already digging into my food. He watches me carefully without a hint of that familiar smugness I've grown annoyed to over these months. I still can't stand him but it'll be easier, down the road, if we learn to hate each other with dignity.

He studies the bandages on my arms and raises a brow. "Did Renit get too feisty in the bedroom?"

"No, that was my fault." It's a lie but I don't feel like explaining myself to another person. Dalis asked me quietly what happened, and I told her every part, only because she's trustworthy enough to never tell another soul. Mills is the person to start a riot if he knew the truth. If there's even a scratch on Dalis, it becomes a game of how long she can withstand his questions before losing her mind. "A little mistake." I poke at the potatoes with my fork.

"That doesn't look like a mistake. Did Renit do something?" He slides the fork across his teeth, looking all too interested in the gossip I might share.

I shake my head convincingly and he nods, dropping it. When my knee shakes from the inability to sit still, I hope he doesn't notice. After a moment of silence in which the only sound is us eating the food on our plates, I clear my throat. "Listen, I wanted to apologize for trying to...kill you that day. I lost my temper when I saw you with Celestine."

He shrugs. "That's not the first time someone has done such a thing. And it won't be the last." I expect him to apologize for all the things he's done too, but I knew I was expecting too much from him. He wouldn't apologize for setting this place on fire if it came to that. The blame always goes elsewhere and someone else is the one to apologize.

Someone walks into the kitchens and I look, groaning under my breath, as Renit walks towards us. Determination clouds his features, normal, as he grabs my wrist without saying a word and unlocks the titanium band keeping my power quelled. As soon as it leaves my wrist, that familiar gulf of wind inside of me takes hold and my power is restored.

I can keep that door open to my power instead of locking it away inside of my body for weeks at a time. Sometimes months. I look back on my habits in Arego; it was unhealthy and dangerous to keep such a power quelled when underneath the vulnerability of such a small village. I could have destroyed the surface with a blink of my eye.

"This is a sign," Renit confides, his hand still wrapped around my small wrist. "This is a sign that I trust you." He takes a step back, clutching the titanium band and Darius looks between the two of us, confused.

I take a bite of my potatoes, watching Renit the entire time, and drag the fork along my teeth. "Good for you, prince."

Darius stares at me and I ignore him as Renit looks ready to drop to his knees and beg for my forgiveness. Never did I think he would stoop so low to tell me he trusts me. It's not an apology but my heart wishes to throw my arms around him and never let go. Then I remember his nails digging into my flesh and that feeling is wiped away like a wet stain.

He steps close to me one more, eyes darting between me and his cousin. "Roux, please. Can we...can we talk for a moment? Alone?" Renit asks. Darius sits back to get the full spectrum of this view, his eyes wide with shock. Has he ever heard his cousin, the weapon, speak this way?

With the titanium band wrapped around his palm, his own power is quelled. I keep my eyes on that as I say, "Anything you have to tell me can be said in front of Darius. You have nothing to hide." I give him one of my very convincing smiles.

Renit huffs through his nose. "I think we should talk about this without Darius here."

"Actually, I've very interested in what is going on here," Darius interrupts. He takes a daring sip from his copper cup, rusted at the rim. "You must have him wrapped around your finger." He winks at me and I debate making another scene in these empty kitchens, one Renit wouldn't interrupt as I beat him with a plate and then his cup. As soon as I thought that characteristic to be gone, his smug arrogance returns.

I frown at him. "That's not true." For Renit's sake, I avoid making him appear more foolish than he already does. Practically begging me for forgiveness will not bode well for rumors. Darius's big mouth won't bother to stop those rumors from spreading, either.

Renit hides the titanium band in the pocket of his pants, as though the loss of his power was startling his nerves. "If you...can you finish your meal and we'll talk about this?" He pleads.

"No, we're done here. I don't want to talk about this." I stab my fork into potatoes and Darius sucks in a breath.

Renit realizes he won't receive the answer he wants. He huffs through his nose, takes the titanium band, and departs the kitchens. Silence rocks through me, a dull cold, and it isn't until I meet Darius's eye that I know where it's coming from. Shame. Hate. My heart blackening. Should I forgive him?

"What was that all about?" Darius questions. All the food on his plate has been ignored.

"That's what it looks like when the tables have turned." I pick at my food, appetite lost. Everything I look at makes me want to vomit. "I've given up trying to be good enough for him and he's...Renit's trying to make himself look good."

Before Darius can say another word, I take my plate and discard it in the kitchens. I don't bother cleaning it because there isn't any time, I just want to lock the door to my chambers and hide away until another day—maybe until I'm ready to train again. There is a hole in my heart, one that no one can fix, and I need to let myself rest.