By the time I wake, Silas is already gone. The side of the bed he slept on is cold, meaning he left long ago to deal with the issue we pushed back until this morning. I groan and untwist myself from the sheets, sliding out of his bed. At some point, I have to return to my chambers and that might as well be now. There's no better time than the present to get yelled at for bringing the crown prince into the issue.

I search for that small bit of care but can't find anything. After all the wasted time I've spent throwing myself at his feet, I've finally given up.

The morning is still silent so hardly anyone passes me as I walk from one end of the castle to the other. When I make it there, I'm met by silence. Wherever Silas is, he's already gone through here and left. They might have killed each other by now but I don't bother checking Renit's chambers for the massacre and disappear into my own.

The sheets are pulled back from last night and the rug is still scrunched from where Renit tripped over it. I don't want to train today; I don't want to see his face, and I don't want to consider his existence. After last night, there's no sense in trying. If I try more than what I have, I'll be burying myself sooner than later.

Not wanting to stick around and wait for Renit to summon me for training, I take a hot bath and soak until my fingers are numb and my eyes are heavy again. If he comes, I use the almond shampoo and soap to match the strong-scented lotion that makes my head spin. Mani said he liked the smell, Renit said he hated it. So I will wear something he hates.

I walk back into my chambers in nothing but my towel and new bandages wrapped around my wrists. I underestimated how difficult the process would be to replace them on my own, without a second pair of hands. Picking at the white fabric, I don't notice his presence in the room but I look up and spot his shadow, standing towards the door.

Hair dripping, skin wet, completely vulnerable in my towel, I stop. And frown. "Get out," I say blandly.

"You know I didn't mean to do that," Renit retorts. He stands with his back pressed against the door, arms crossed against his chest. Metal bracers cover his forearms and elbow protectors and very complicated leather armor over his abdomen with buckles and straps for weapons. The familiar baldric I've seen him wear nearly every day is stocked with throwing knives.

Sweat shines his forehead and his hair. To be training this early in the morning—he's trying to take his mind off something.

I sigh and shuffle to my large closet. "I don't care. Now leave."

I shut the door to the closet and pick out a crimson tunic and dark pants. His boots click across the floorboards and the shadow of his figure darkens the crack underneath the door but he doesn't advance, nor does he open it to scream at me for disobeying him. "Roux, you know I would never hurt you intentionally. We'll summon Hallie to clean the wounds and then we'll forget all about this." His voice muffles through the door and I listen to the words but none of them register. An emptiness has cracked open inside my heart, leaking fluid, and there's no way to stitch it back together.

Renit had his chance. If he wanted to care, he should have done it a long time ago. When I was trying. He had two months to make this work between us and last night was the final straw. I can't see myself trying for the rest of my life, no matter how long that may be. If I keep living like this, not very long.

I drop the towel and start changing. If he opens the door now, he'll be in for a rude awakening. "I don't want a healer," I say barely loud enough for him to hear.

He sighs. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You can give me back Arego and my parents and let me leave this hellhole." Once I'm changed, I open the door and stare up at the hard lines of his face. Nothing. I feel nothing. During the engagement ceremony, I thought there could be something between us if we tried hard enough but now, I don't think that's possible. He's too...Renit. He refuses to break out of that shell he's coiled himself into.

He steps back and gives me space to pass into my bathing room where I brush out my hair and pull back half of it. I must summon Mani to cut it back to my collarbones; the strands are becoming too long and I've never cared for having uncooperative hair. Compared to Celestine, a girl unable to manage a short style.

Renit leans against the doorframe and watches me apply a light layer of cosmetics, just enough to accent my amber eyes. "You know I can't do that," he mumbles.

I shrug. "Then you can't do anything other than leave me alone." Like he isn't standing there, I push past into my chambers. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pull leather boots over my socks and lace them.

"So that's it? You're just going to ignore me for the rest of your life?" Across the room, he picks up something off the floor and twists it back and forth in his hands.

"I've given up trying; the same way you have."

"I haven't given up trying, I haven't..." He lets his voice trail off because he knows the next words in both our minds. He never bothered to try in the first place. "Even you said before we need to make this work."

He stops in front of me but I don't meet his eye. There's no need to, nor do I want to look into his face and find every feature I could care to love if he let me. His effort will always be stomped on by mine—I've already given my all to gain the respect of others, even Bren and Celestine, and I'm tired. Renit is just another piece in this game of life and for this one, my efforts are exhausted.

"You're right, I did say that," I confess. "But that was a long time ago and I've realized trying to reason with you is too much effort for what it's worth." I slide off the edge of the bed and stand between him and it. I have no other option but to look into his face, into those pleading eyes trying for once. If he was brave enough to open up to me and tell me who he lost and why he's so angry at the world, then maybe I would consider. But he never would. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work in the kitchens to tend to."

"You don't work in the kitchens anymore." His brows knit together.

"I might as well do something valuable with my time and since I'm not good enough to train with you, I'll be needed elsewhere." I expect him to scream at me, maybe even shake my shoulders or grab my chin in his rough hand and squeeze so tight my jaw breaks but he nods and swallows. It's too loud in the quiet.

Silas said something to him this morning, enough to make him change his entire perspective. Or at least make him consider trying to be my friend instead of my enemy. One day too late, I suppose.

He extends the object in his hand towards me, the dagger he gifted not too long ago. I remember him handing it to me with a cautious smile, like handing over a newborn child to a stranger. This time, Renit is much more willing to give it away. "At least take this."

I frown at it, at his hand wrapped around the handle as he extends it, blade first. His knuckles are scarred with old wounds, his skin is dry and cracked from training. Dark ink sticks out from underneath one of the leather bracers. All of that image is the close embodiment of Renit and yet, he seems so distant. I've explored him and learned some about his past but there's still so much left to uncover that I don't see him as someone I positively know. The words leave my tongue before I can stop them. "I don't think I'll be needing that anymore." As much as I want to keep that dagger for the small bond between us, I can't. "It was a mistake to give that to me in the first place, why don't you keep it?"

I slide past him and towards the door of my chambers. There's hurt in his eyes, in the way he turns to face me as I'm prepared to leave and head towards the kitchens. This is it. If he doesn't want to fight, then this is the end between us, at least for a long while. Chances come more often in an immortal life but some witches are very skilled at holding grudges.

"Roux, please." He takes one step towards me. "I'm...trying."

I look him up and down, the prince, the warrior, the witch, and the weapon. A quick flick of my eyes has me taking in the muscle and the handsome face. Instead of responding and giving him any satisfaction, I turn on my heel and shut the door quietly behind me. My heart is so numb that I don't want to talk it out—I'm turning into him. Renit has never stuck around, he crushes his pride in his fist and chokes the life out of it as he takes long strides away.

Just as I'm doing now. There's a lightness in my step as I walk down the halls, nodding at the servants and the guards I pass. Some greet me with a smile, others force themselves not to shift uncomfortably as I pass. They fear what I can do, even with the titanium band containing me still. Out of everyone in this castle, I stand to be the witch who can do the most damage to this entire structure.

Renit doesn't chase after me and plead his case. He has done enough of that for a lifetime, considering he used the word, please. I still haven't heard a formal apology out of him and that only makes it easier for me to shove him away with every attempt he makes to break through. How the tables have turned.

I worked for two months to break down those walls and found myself left with nothing when he screamed at me for leaving the castle with Silas. He still doesn't trust me, even after I haven't once considered hurting anyone in this castle other than Darius. Instigating the level of trust goes much farther than not hurting anyone. No, there's more than one reason he doesn't trust me—pride being one of them. Shoving me out because of that pride is as terrible as letting me believe Renit could ever care.