IWAIZUMI WOKE UP FIRST.

the blanket that oikawa had produced from his backpack the night before slipped off his shoulders as he sat up, covering his mouth to stifle a yawn. it had almost been as if the brunet had known they would be sleeping on the roof, bringing along the two blankets that were warm and smelt of lavender.

they had slept there the entire night; the sun was just starting to break over the rooftops, dusting the two boys with golden mist. oikawa looked heavenly, alluring, with the lights dancing along his skin like that. although he also looked a bit dishevelled, with his crumpled clothes and unruly hair, it also made him look wild, in an oddly attractive kind of way. rugged. natural. iwaizumi bit hard on his lip as he tried to shove those thoughts out of his mind for good.

he's the gay one. not me.

he's the gay one. not me.

and he couldn't take his eyes off the boy. his face was smooth and untouched by those worry lines which were usually visible. he looked so peaceful, so at peace. and iwaizumi couldn't help but appreciate that. he appreciated it enough to reach across and brush his fingers along that smooth, golden face.

but then he woke up.

iwaizumi snatched his fingers back as if they had been burnt as oikawa broke out into a yawn, showering him with breath that didn't smell so good. his heart was thudding dully in his ears and he quickly created more distance between them. had he felt him touch his face?

"morning," hajime said gruffly, still feeling embarrassed about what he'd just done, what he'd just thought.

"oh, good morning," oikawa muttered in return. his morning voice was low and rough and iwaizumi felt something stir in his chest. "shit, we actually slept here all night?" he scratched the back of his head, where the hair was matted and stuck flat against his scalp, and looked around. his eyes fell on iwaizumi's and something in his face changed.

the boy frowned. "what?"

"n-nothing," he muttered quickly, too quickly, and with a blush on his cheeks.

iwaizumi sensed that something had changed between them. that sleeping on that roof together had done something to the air around them. it made him feel electric, untouchable. just him, oikawa and the lights. nothing else mattered at that moment.

oikawa suddenly made a noise that was half way between a groan and a yawn, covering his face with his hands. "my mum really is going to kill me now. she probably has the entire police department out looking for me."

iwaizumi rolled his eyes and huffed, and oikawa immediately felt guilty. he knew what the tanned boy was thinking. at least he had a mum that cared. "sorry, i didn't think-"

"doesn't matter," he muttered quickly, stretching his arms out behind his back, feeling the muscles knot in his back. "god, i stink."

oikawa chuckled. a soft, throaty chuckle that made a shiver ghost down iwaizumi's spine. "i think we both need a shower."

they shared a laugh at that. it was so much easier to smile and laugh around each other now.because iwaizumi felt at peace, like how oikawa had looked when he was sleeping. he found peace up here on the rooftop. he found peace in oikawa. and it had taken him a long time to realise that. now he wasn't so sure if he was ready to accept the fact that oikawa gave him peace, he gave him comfort, more comfort than his own home did. because he wasn't exactly sure what that meant for them?

"hey, you okay?"

"what? of course i am, shittykawa," iwaizumi snapped, his voice wavering slightly. then he sighed and amended his answer. "no, of course i'm not."

oikawa shuffled closer to him, the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. his sleepy brown eyes looked alluring, simply alluring. "i know, i'm sorry. what will you do now?"

"i don't know. i'm not really welcome at home anymore."

oikawa looked pained. he was feeling iwaizumi's pain, the pain he'd kept bottled away all these years. "are you sure? she is your mother, after all. she still has the natural instinct to care for her child."

iwaizumi barked a cold, dry laugh. "trust me, my mother's never had any of that maternal instinct shit. i was just another mouth she had to feed." he swallowed then, his adam's apple rolling in his throat, and then, without speaking a word, rolled up the back of his crumpled shirt.

oikawa's breath hitched audibly.

"she threw a vase at me."

"fuck, iwaizumi," oikawa spat, his voice trembling, splintering like a piece of rotting wood. he couldn't tear his eyes away from the yellowing patch of skin on the boy's back. a second later, iwaizumi felt oikawa's fingers on his skin, tracing the bruise softly, tentatively. he barely even felt it, even though he wanted to.

a soft shiver ghosted his spine.

"why didn't you say earlier?"

"why does it matter?"

"because it does! it does matter. you matter," oikawa hissed, his voice low and urgent, desperate to be heard. "you matter a lot to me, hajime."

the tanned boy froze, his heart in his throat. don't go there, please don't go there. you can't fall for a broken boy like me. "don't say shit you don't mean."

oikawa did something unexpected then. he took iwaizumi's face in his hands, forcing him to look at him. right at him. iwaizumi's face paled but the tips of his ears went pink at the sudden contact, the sudden intimacy. "you need to stop acting like nobody gives a shit about you. stop ignoring the fact that i am right here and i give a shit."

iwaizumi couldn't think of anything to say. his voice had left him completely. all he could do was stare, stare at the boy who'd patched him back up, a little loosely, a little imperfectly, but patched up the pieces to stop him falling apart completely.

it started raining at some point. "there's our shower," oikawa had said, but iwaizumi wasn't quite sure when because he was too caught up in those honey-brown eyes, drowning in them. one minute his skin was dry, the next it wasn't, raindrops sliding over the bridge of his nose and down his arms and nestling in his hair and sticking to his lashes.

he wasn't quite sure when they started kissing either. one minute he was drowning in those eyes, the next his lips were pressed against the brunet's, slightly damp from the rain, a little chapped, not quite as soft as he thought they would be.

(when had he thought about oikawa's lips?)

but those little imperfections only seemed to make the kiss more perfect.

until it wasn't. until iwaizumi realised that he would only drag this boy into the gutter with him.

"shit," he cussed, his lips still lingering much too close to oikawa's. "shit, shit, shit."

"was it really that bad?"

"fuck no," iwaizumi breathed, trying to pull away but he couldn't. it wasn't oikawa, it was him. "your breath fucking stinks though."

"so does yours," oikawa muttered. he wasn't looking at hajime anymore and that saddened him.

"i'm sorry," iwaizumi whispered, his words fanning over the boy's face, sinking into his skin. oikawa lifted his eyes slowly. he looked guilty. but iwaizumi didn't want him to be. "who... who started it?"

the brunet blinked. "i-i don't know. but w-was it wrong? should we not have-"

"i don't know. did you want to?"

his face softened slightly. iwaizumi wanted to reach out and touch it, touch those chapped, softly curving lips.

"yes."

"me too."

it was still raining but iwaizumi barely felt it. all he could feel was oikawa, his breath, his warmth, his electricity.

"let's just forget."

"the k-kiss?" iwaizumi struggled to get the word out; it seemed to stick in his throat like a web.

oikawa shook his head and gestured over the edge of the roof, where light was starting to pour through the cracks, making everything look glittery and beautiful. but not as beautiful as the boy in front of him.

"no. not the kiss. everything else. everyone else. we both came to this rooftop to escape, didn't we?"

this boy was his escape. this boy had his escape plan etched on his heart and he was that much closer to reaching it.

"i want to stay up here forever. just you and me. and the lights. the goddamn beautiful lights," iwaizumi said with a shaky sigh. "i just want to stay."

oikawa's hands fluttered to his face again. they felt so soft and warm, so much like the home he'd never had. "we can. i'll always be waiting for you up here. i'm your new home now, iwaizumi. you're not lost anymore. you can always come back to me."

[ fin ]

ahhh i feel like this ending is reeeeeally rushed and kinda sudden ;-; and i could have made it a lot angstier but i'm feeling sad enough so i wanted to write a happy ending for once. sorry if it's disappointing >w<

nevertheless, i want to thank all of you for taking the time to read this. i know it's not a very good story lol, but all of your votes and comments are always so appreciated!

don't forget to smile!
~ JESS