IWAIZUMI CLIMBED ONTO THE ROOFTOP

moments after oikawa had mounted the loose tiles. "i was walking behind you just then, y'know," he said, wiping his hands down the front of his shirt to get rid of the droplets of water that had been stuck to the bannister from the morning's rain.

oikawa shot him a watery smile. "i know. but i didn't want to turn around and talk to you when i'm not used to seeing you on the street."

iwaizumi's thick brows furrowed together. "that's a crap excuse," he said bluntly.

"i know," oikawa admitted with a goofy smile.

the tanned boy chewed on his lip, which was chapped and sore from the cold weather, and watched oikawa's feet with a growing frown. "i've never noticed before but... do you walk with a limp?"

"hm? oh, uh, yeah, a little bit," he said quietly, subconsciously resting his palm over his left thigh.

"an accident?"

oikawa shrugged nonchalantly. "something like that."

they both sat down on the rooftop, in their customary positions. the tiles used to feel hard when he sat on them, but he'd grown used to them now. they were familiar, more familiar than the home he'd grown up in. they sat in silence at first, and iwaizumi took a moment to wonder if anyone ever saw them up there, two shadows dancing on the rooftop with the city lights twisting around their feet, tangling in their hair.

or maybe they just saw two rebellious teenagers with nowhere else to go. that thought was more accurate anyway. just two broken teenagers who found solace in each other.

"you weren't here yesterday," oikawa said out of the blue. iwaizumi glanced across at him, and noticed the backpack strapped over his shoulder. it was navy blue, looking a little worn around the edges, with an alien keychain dangling off the zipper. he'd never seen it before.

"hm? oh, right, yeah, some shit happened, that's all," he answered, dragging his eyes away from that keychain.

oikawa ran a hand through his hair, sighing. this boy was making his head hurt. "are you okay?"

"i'm fine," iwaizumi assured him, but there was a strain in his voice, a strain that suggested he wasn't fine at all.

"i'm here if you want to talk."

"i know," iwaizumi said. when he said that, oikawa knew that he meant it. he felt like he had finally gotten through to the boy after months of meeting on the top of the world. "hey, uh, i didn't want to mention this before," he started suddenly, toying with a loose thread on his shirt, "but when you were shouting... you said something about being gay. are you?"

oikawa turned away, gritting his teeth. "would that matter?"

iwaizumi frowned, his eyes crinkling. "no, of course not. but i wanna know if that's why you're so... insecure about yourself. is that why you think you're weak? because you like guys?"

tooru wanted to leave, right there and then. but he forced himself to stay, for iwaizumi. he was sick of running away from all of his problems.

"i... i don't know. maybe. that's what other people think."

iwaizumi gave a frustrated groan. "what did i say-"

"don't listen to them. i know. but it's not as easy as that."

iwaizumi emptied his lungs into a long sigh. "yeah, i know, sorry. but don't think you're weak or soft just cos you like guys. it doesn't change who you are."

oikawa nodded wordlessly. his eyes shone a bit brighter than before. maybe iwaizumi had gotten through to him, too. nevertheless quick to change the subject, he suddenly swung the blue backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it, the alien keyring rocking side to side. "anyway, i brought some snacks."

iwaizumi's brows quirked. "what?"

humming distractedly, he rummaged through his bag and tossed something at the boy's chest. hajime caught it reflexively and peered curiously at the packet. then he pulled a deadpan face. "pocky? are you being serious?"

"it's all i could grab," oikawa said, stringing together a laugh as he zipped his bag back up. iwaizumi tossed the box back lazily, hitting oikawa on the head. he rubbed the back of his neck with a pout. "ouch! why are you so mean iwa-chan?"

"if you think i'm playing the damn pocky game with you, you're badly mistaken."

"i never said that!" oikawa defended with a very faint blush spreading along his cheeks. iwaizumi decided to ignore it. "though if you're offering-" this time a stone hit him, very small, the size of a button, but sharp enough to make him cry out again. "okay okay. you're so violent iwa-chan!"

iwaizumi snickered quietly as oikawa opened the packet and pulled out a stick of pocky, then offered one to him, not quite looking him in the eye.

he rolled his eyes but took one anyway, snatching it out of the box so quickly it snapped in half and he bit into it with a sour look.

they sat munching on their snacks in silence. it was a silence that seemed to drag for a long time for iwaizumi. he wanted oikawa to talk, to fill the silence, to distract him from the shit that was going on in his head.

isn't that why he kept coming up here? because he needed to escape.

because oikawa was his best escape.

"you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

iwaizumi missed the pocky and accidentally bit his tongue. it was hard enough to draw blood, a metallic taste sitting in his mouth as he spat out a curse.

no matter how much he tried to keep himself closed off, this boy could read him like an open book. it was infuriating and inspiring all at once.

he dropped his hands to his lap, rolling the remaining biscuit between his fingers like a chewed pencil. "i got into an argument with my mum." he swallowed, the lump in his making it more difficult to choke out the words. "that's not exactly unusual. but this one escalated a bit. there was some shouting, some... some violence. then she kicked me out of the house."

oikawa stiffened, his long legs splayed out in front of him. "i-iwa... shit, i'm so sorry."

"hmph. it was gonna happen eventually."

"what will you do?"

iwaizumi tossed the rest of the pocky away, watching it roll down the roof and tumble off the edge. he felt sick. "i don't know. got no other family."

"i thought i was your family."

iwaizumi lifted his head and ghosted oikawa's face with his eyes. they lingered on that smile he'd grown so accustomed to seeing. it was only very faint on the boy's lips now after hearing what had happened, but it was familiar all the same, comforting in a way. he'd started to get to know that smile, memorise it like one might memorise the way home.

iwaizumi shook his head, shook those thoughts out of his head.

he couldn't go there. he refused to. his heart was too stubborn. he'd only end up hurting him anyway. he seemed to only hurt the people around him. he only knew how to be a burden.

iwaizumi grumbled something under his breath and brought out the pack of cigarettes he'd stowed away in his inside pocket. a lighter was also produced. oikawa glanced over lazily when he heard him flick the lighter. the flame sparked and dipped in the wind as he held it to the cigarette. embers showered the floor. smoke curled from his lip.

"i thought-"

"i don't," iwaizumi said curtly. "they're fucking horrible. but i need to clear my thoughts."

"it certainly ain't clearing your lungs," the other boy muttered, shaking his head as if admonishing him. then, after a second of deliberation, he held out his hand. "let me try."

iwaizumi's eyebrows quirked up into an arch. "really?"

"yeah. why not?"

shrugging, he took one last drag, shaking the fizzling embers onto the floor, and handed it over. oikawa held it awkwardly between his fingers and pressed it to his mouth. he inhaled deeply, then started coughing. iwaizumi laughed under his breath. he looked cute trying to smoke. in an innocent kind of way. but as soon as iwaizumi thought that, he shook his head again, sobered up. he's the gay one, he thought bitterly. not me.

"oi, give it back," he said, and oikawa handed it back to him, clearly unimpressed.

"that's disgusting."

the tanned boy gave him a devilish grin. "i know."

"i don't understand you."

"not asking you to," iwaizumi replied with his usual indifference, voice gritty and low.

they both jumped when oikawa's phone started ringing. iwaizumi looked away, embarrassed at being startled so easily, then took another drag of his cigarette, pulled a face, and twisted it beneath the heel of his battered old trainers.

"i know, i'm really sorry. i'm at a friend's house though. perfectly safe," oikawa was saying through the phone when iwaizumi tuned back in, speaking in a hushed whisper. "okay, mum. i might be home a bit late again. but please don't worry about me. i'm perfectly fine. okay. yes, yes i know. okay. bye mum."

oikawa hung up the phone and hung his head with a frustrated groan. "i should probably go soon."

iwaizumi felt his gut clench when he said that. it clenched so hard he felt like he wanted to be sick. "can't you stay." the words come out in a low, desperate whisper. he barely even heard himself over the thundering of his heart.

oikawa leaned over towards him, close enough that iwaizumi could smell the deodorant sticking to his skin. it was strong and sickly, but it was oikawa's scent and it was a scent he'd grown used to. a scent he missed when it wasn't there.

"sorry what did you say?"

iwaizumi swallowed hard. he clutched tightly onto the sleeves of his jumper to stop them shaking. "i said can't you stay."

there was no way in hell he would be going home tonight. he wasn't welcome there anymore. he struggled to remember a time when he had been.
and he didn't want to be alone again. he was so fucking tired of being alone, of being lonely.

oikawa's brown eyes widened, doe-like, startled. it was the first time iwaizumi had so openly, so honestly asked him to stay.

he gave his answer within seconds, his lips curving into that lopsided, toothy grin of his that iwaizumi never wanted to forget. "okay. i'll stay. but if my mum kills me, i'm coming back to haunt you."