IWAIZUMI LOOKED LIKE A BEAUTIFUL MONSTER

up on that rooftop. he was dishevelled in his appearance. his shirt - the same one he'd donned the night previous - was crumpled and clung unconvincingly to his rugged frame. thick shadows hugged his eyes, and his hair was thick and matted from being exposed to the wind and rain.

but there were lights too. and the lights frosted around him and dripped down his face and fluttered in his hair and because of the lights, oikawa couldn't seem to take his eyes off him.

beautiful monster.

oikawa snapped out of it.

"you haven't moved since last night." it wasn't a question, and iwaizumi didn't have an answer. he barely lifted his gaze from the skyline, the stars in his eyes blinking sleepily. "when was the last time you ate?"

iwaizumi shrugged, his movements stiff, like a doll that's been sat on the shelf for years in the same position, its limbs rusted into place.

"when was the last time you went home?"

more intrusive questions. more evasive answers.

"i don't have a home."

oikawa bared his teeth, stomping closer in his black trainers. "what do you mean? why not?"

the boy puffed a ring of smoke through his nose. "that's none of your business."

oikawa smiled bitterly. "i'm making it my business. i don't like seeing you like this."

"then close your eyes."

oikawa stooped closer, nose twitching. "you smell, iwa-chan."

"good to know."

"when was the last time you showered? or ate? or even fucking slept? you think i haven't noticed those god-awful bags of yours? you look like one of the living dead."

his patience was wearing thin. those emotions he'd bottled up were starting to splinter and bleed into his words, dictate his thoughts.

"oi, you don't know me, shittykawa, so don't pretend to care."

"i'm not pretending," he hissed, teeth gritted. "please let me help you."

iwaizumi turned away. "i don't need any help."

oikawa pinched the bridge of his nose. "you're so fucking stubborn!"

"and you're so fucking obtrusive!"

"for good reasons. who can blame me after you started talking about all that suicide crap. i... i don't want you to end up lost and helpless."

iwaizumi paused. "you're being awfully kind to a stranger."

"you're not a stranger. we've been meeting here almost every night for at least a month. i know you well enough-"

iwaizumi snapped again. "you don't know me at all. that's the thing. nobody knows me. they don't..."

"look hard enough?" oikawa finished with a jaded sigh. "well neither do you, because you haven't seemed to notice that i've been here the whole time."

"eh?"

oikawa turned away, eyes downcast. he was too tired to argue any longer. "just go home, iwaizumi. please, just go home."

✦

"you went home?"

iwaizumi nodded, blinking away the raindrops still webbing his lashes. it had only been a light drizzle, lasting a few minutes before oikawa's arrival. they were lucky it had been a fairly dry season so far.

"i'm glad. though it's supposed to rain heavier later on," he told him, skidding on the damp tiles.

iwaizumi shrugged lazily. "i've got a coat. coat's got a hood."

"you're gonna stay? you might get a chill."

the boy smiled thinly. "then you can stay and warm me up," he teased with an undermining honesty in his tone.

"y-yeah, sure," oikawa agreed with a faint blush. "though my mum might wonder why i come home soaked to the bone."

"for the sake of homeless people."

oikawa bit his lip, his heart throbbing in his chest. "iwaizumi... you're not homeless are you?"

iwaizumi didn't reply for a few minutes.

the air hung damp and heavy, trembling with the threat of rain.

"no, i'm not. but i might as well be. my home isn't much of a home anymore."

oikawa inched closer, watery brown eyes fixed on his. "could i ask why?"

iwaizumi pressed his lips together firmly, as if it was the only way to inhibit the entire truth from spilling out. "maybe another time."

the rain started shortly after, and oikawa decided to stay. he didn't have a coat, so iwaizumi ended up draping his over both of them. the material was warm and smelled like peppermint tea, and oikawa tugged it closer around his shoulders as the sky opened up with heaven's artillery.

they stayed silent as they watched the rain lash the tiles, spitting up at them and making oikawa's hair turn frizzy. the sky was dark and the rain muted the light from the city below. but he didn't mind.

it was still beautiful to him.

as long as iwaizumi was there, anything could be.

"are you sure you want to stay? who knows how long this rain's gonna last."

oikawa shrugged. his shoulder brushed up against iwaizumi's. "i'll stay," he said simply. "so... tell me about yourself, iwaizumi."

the boy sighed. "you know enough."

"but i don't know you at all! you said so yourself!"

"you know enough," he repeated.

oikawa's teeth gritted together. iwaizumi could feel the tremble of his body as he grew agitated. "why won't you let people get close?"

"why won't you leave me alone?"

"because you've been alone far too long."

"maybe i like being alone."

"nobody likes being alone."

"nobody likes you."

"that's mean, iwa-chan," he whined, pulling his knees right up to his chin and resting his head on them. the rain was starting to slow into a light patter. "do you really like being alone?"

iwiazumi rubbed his eyes. his hands were cold and wet from holding the coat over them. "sometimes."

"does that mean you want me to leave you alone?"

"..."

"i can go if you-"

"oh just stay goddamn it."

iwiazumi could hear the grin in oikawa's voice as he spoke. "hmph, that's what i thought."

iwaizumi bit hard on his lip. for some inexplicable reason, he felt the need to smile.

but he wasn't going to smile.

he hadn't smiled in years. and this boy wasn't going to make him start now.

they sat in silence for a little while, listening to their breathing, rolling out of sync, out of tune, a shapeless symphony of invisible ghosts passing their lips.

then iwaizumi spoke, suddenly, as the rain started to ease off and then seem to disappear altogether. "i have a question." he tentatively moved the hood off their heads. there was the slightest drizzle still, invisible, but it felt cool and fresh on his face.

"this is a first. ask away."

"what do you do when you're frustrated?"

oikawa thought hard about the question, tapping a finger against his bottom lip in a slow rhythm. "uhm, i don't know. i don't do anything really."

iwaizumi shifted the coat, wrapping it around his waist. "you don't get angry or anything?"

oikawa shrugged. "not really. i suppose i either blame myself or just try and get over it."

"so you just bottle it up, in effect?"

"i guess," the boy admitted with a pursed expression, and iwaizumi sighed. he suddenly climbed to his feet, dusted down the seat of his pants and, with the coat dangling loosely down his legs, shuffled to the edge of the roof. his head spun and his stomach lurched at the dizzying height, but he shrugged it away. "oi, shittykawa, come over here a sec."

the boy complied without question, joining him a second later, being careful not to slip on the wet tiles. "what is it, iwa-chan? you're not gonna push me off are you?" he joked weakly.

iwaizumi chewed on his lip. "i don't think it's healthy... having all that shit bottle up inside you," he mumbled. it was the first time he'd taken the initiative for conversation.

"huh? what 'shit'?" he said testily.

"that stuff that you're full of. why not let it out?"

the brunet look incredulous. "you want me to take a shit, up here?"

iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated. "i meant your emotions, dumbass. right here, right now - scream, shout, throw a hissy fit, whatever. get it all out your system and you'll feel a hell of a lot better."

oikawa studied the other boy carefully. "what's brought this on?"

iwaizumi huffed, scuffing his heel and sending loose stones skittering over the edge. "just... i just think it'll help."

he fluttered a sigh as oikawa hesitated. "i can leave if you want. if you need more privacy or something."

slowly, gingerly, a blush crept up the boy's cheeks. "no. how about we do it together?"