THIS IS THE PART WHERE I  should start to feel excited. But I don't. Edging closer to Beacon Hills, all I feel is dread. Which is funny, really, since all I've thought about since the day my parents made me leave was the day that I'd eventually return. It was home; It was supposed to feel like I was coming home.

But it didn't.

There's an uncomfortable silence in the car. My mother drives faster than she should and I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts to tell her to slow down. Clearly she can't wait to drop me off with Grandma and run off to start a new life.

The offer was made to go with her, or go live with my dad and his new, far-too-close to my age girlfriend. Neither was appealing. Mom liked to drink too much, and dad, well, he was clearly having some mid-life crisis that I wanted no part of. Truth be told, I was glad to be getting away. The last few years had been filled with nothing but harsh words exchanged and nights crying myself to sleep. Kids are never supposed to feel like the parents, yet I constantly did.

"Sooo..." She glances over at me, bright and bubbly. "Are you excited about seeing your friends ? Scott and— what was it again? Annoying kid with the weird name?"

"Stiles, mom. His name is Stiles."  Even I could hear the annoyance in my tone, but it bothered me. It bothered me that she forgot. He'd been my friend since we were kids. The first year we moved away all I did was talk about them— both of them. And yet she didn't even remember his name.

Who forgets Stiles ?

"And yeah, I guess ..."

Truth be told, I didn't know how to feel. We'd stayed in touch, of course. Or at least I'd tried to. At first the replies were fast, consistent. They'd promised we'd talk all the time, that they'd never forget me. But eventually there were days, sometimes weeks between contact. And it was always me that was the last to reach out, left on read.

I hadn't messaged in months. Neither had they.

I stopped trying.

I snapped from my thoughts when my mother let out a scream, my body flung back into the seat as the car swerved suddenly to the side of the road. My eyes widened, breaths out of control. By the time I caught up with what was going on, all I saw was a dark shadow running off into the woods across the way.

"Mom, a-are you okay? What the hell was that?" I reach out a hand and place it gently on her arm. She nods, swallowing down as she tries to regain her composure.

"I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. It's just some wild animal." She sounds calm as she reaches over to unbuckle her seatbelt, but I can see that it's rattled her. "I need you to drive the rest of the way, ok? I'm a little shaken."

I don't even question it, and before I know it, I'm in the drivers seat and she's falling asleep as I drive the last few miles back to the place my life began. Back to Beacon Hills.

It's another hour, maybe two, before we finally pull into my grandmothers driveway. Mom woke only a short while ago, and has turned the radio up to almost full blast. I can barley hear myself think between the music playing and the sound of her out-of-tune singing. The argument that would ensue isn't worth stopping her. She does this a lot. I guess in some ways blocking out the world and forgetting there are any problems is her way of coping, and who am I to judge her for that? Though sometimes I do. I can't help it.

She turns it down considerably, but still not all the way, when she spots my grandmother. I'm instantly less nervous. My grandmother has always had a calming effect on me. She's one of the few people in my life who actually have their shit together. The pace is slower when she's around. I need that.

"Grandma!" There's a childlike glee to my tone as I open the door and bounce out of the car. The minute I'm close enough, my arms are around her waist, my head on her shoulder as she runs a comforting hand through my brunette locks of hair.

"Hi baby girl! Oh, you have no idea how good it is to see you." She squeezes my frame, then lifts my chin so she can place a sweet kiss upon my forehead. It's in that moment I know that no matter the reaction from anyone else, here I'm safe with her. And suddenly home feels a lot like home again.

"You too." I breathe out, turning abruptly when I hear my bags being dropped in front of my feet. Mom has already sparked a cigarette, taking a long drag before giving her mother a half-assed smile. "Well, thanks for having her, Ma. Don't worry she won't cause you any trouble, I've already told her she'll be helping you out in the diner. She'll be paying her way."

Grandma shakes her head, while my mother mumbles something or another under her breath. Their relationship is strained to say the least. Not that my grandmother hasn't tried. "Right, well, it's a long drive back. I'm gonna get going."

My smile drops. She's leaving already? That's it? That's my big goodbye? I'm surprised. Hurt. And I shouldn't be. I should have been expecting her to run off the second my feet touched the ground. Her arms extend for a hug, but I simply shake my head, reach down to grab my bags and turn to head inside. "Yeah ... see ya."

I should tell her to have a safe drive, but I can't manage it. And before I know it, I hear the car door close before she drives away. And I don't know how long it will be before I see her again. I should be sadder, but I'm not. Because I know I'm already being pushed to the back of her mind.

The front door closes and grandma slings her arm around my shoulders. She looks older than the last time I seen her, more tired. Her hair showing more grey now than blonde, the sparkle in her once piercing blue eyes slightly dulled.

Maybe it's a good thing I'm here. Maybe she does need help running the diner. Since grandad passed, she's had a lot to deal with. I'm sure I can manage to find some time between school and my currently non-existent social life.

"Come on, let's get you settled in, shall we? And then maybe tomorrow you can think about reaching out to your friends before you start back at school?"

Right now, I couldn't think of anything more daunting. What if they don't want to know me anymore ? What if I end up just as alone here, as I was back in Seattle? I'm not sure I could handle the isolation all over again.

But that was tomorrow me's problem. Tonight all I wanted was to rest, and slow down my rapid thoughts.

"Sounds good." I whispered with a smile.

It did not.