Chi spent the next ten minutes grilling me about the caliber of mage tutors the Vault housed. What skills they had, what their specialties were, personalities even. And though she didn't have her notebook out like the last time, it still brought back memories of teaching sessions going over words of Spoken this Clan would otherwise have never known.

As much as they didn't want to admit it, I could see the careful eagerness in Chi's dark eyes, in Spade's quiet lingering. Our kind never received training from mages, not anymore, and even in the past, an anonymous Clan like theirs wouldn't have. And though the twins looked mainly uninterested or annoyed that I had their leader's ear, again, I saw more than one look from Spade when I mentioned the Vault's prophet - though I doubted he would like Danny much after they met.

"Tell me about Ailech, your healer here."

Spade's deep voice sounded like he was very much trying for less interested than he truly was. I glanced around only partially for show, just to make sure Ailech would never hear what I was about to say, though I knew he wasn't in the room.

"He is the best healer I've ever seen, best I've ever even heard of. And...he's a good man."

"And his family? His brothers?" Spade continued, watching me, the longest he had held my eyes since my arrival.

"They were taken by a Fallen called the Collector, James' father. He killed them and stole their bodies, just like he did with Syn. It happened when he was a child."

"Why?" Chi and Spade spoke in unison, and she smiled coyly. He dropped his eyes respectfully.

"I think James' father wanted to stop him from using his abilities, but didn't know which brother had what he wanted, or would eventually have it. I don't know why he took their bodies. And I actually don't know how Ailech got away either..."

"He's smart," Chi stated matter-of-factly.

"Smart doesn't save you from the Collector, but he has certainly been through a lot and learned a lot because of it. He...has a role to play in what's coming against the Collector."

Chi's sharp jaw tensed as her dark eyes narrowed. I knew her question before she asked it.

"Do we play a role?"

"No. We didn't bring you here to use you, any of you, only to protect you."

"What is your role?" Halo spoke up for the first time.

"One part kamikaze soldier, one part sacrificial lamb?" I attempted a joke, but I doubted it was convincing.

"Avenge Syn first," Chi said with determination etched into the lines of her face, her eyes boring into mine. And though she didn't say it, I knew I was forgiven. Or, at least, she had decided to listen to Ailech's advice and her rage and revenge were turned to the Collector now, not me.

That was why she wanted to learn, to train. And though I knew no amount of training or expert tutors could make her and her boys worthy foes of the Collector, I nodded, not knowing what else to say.

» ✦ «

I found myself in the closest mess hall only a couple of minutes after leaving Jordan, after wanting to kiss her and actually doing it. It felt strange wanting to kiss someone, to touch them without killing them. Strange, but not in an unpleasant way, just a foreign way, like when you try a new training and are sore in a regularly dormant muscle. But then my mind circled back to that evening in her room when my nature or past or perversion had taken over and I had wanted to both touch and kill her. Yet another question for me to push to the back of my mind with no one to ask, not that I would ever have asked anyone even if they could know the answer. I didn't even know how I would explain it, articulate it. I barely could to myself. It was just another wall I would never be able to scale, never overcome.

I was on my second plate when Malachi sauntered in as if nothing in his day had been out of the ordinary. As if Jordan hadn't peeled back his anger and peeked under his armor just a quarter-hour earlier. As if he hadn't said he used to believe in me, used to wish that I would defeat my father, save him. As if he hadn't shown me the only thing I wanted from him; a glimmer of hope that he wasn't loyal to the Collector, not fully, just afraid of him, broken by him. He had been controlled by him for so long, he no longer knew the difference between loyalty and submission, only self-preservation. But I knew, I saw it. I knew he could be saved. Because I knew there was something under his hatred and anger now. Something worth saving.

I watched him from across the room with a smile touching my lips. He knew I was there, but he ignored me, the only sign that our last encounter was still fresh in his mind.

» ✦ «

The Vault was amazing, everything I had dreamt of since I first heard whispers of it years earlier. The wardwork alone was beyond what I could have imagined, let alone ever begun to do myself. The number of mages blew my mind, the amount of power and knowledge all around me. The history! And Abby, the Vault's grandfatherly leader, naturally put me at ease, though I could tell James felt quite differently and had some type of history with him. Even Abby's power - I could feel it, his magic and abilities, as thick as a Shift in the air whenever we shared the same space. I had never felt that type of magic before, that summit of power.

It felt strange to sleep in a different room than Nevaeh. And though being in a safe place was amazing, and we were exhausted from months of constant vigilance, I couldn't sleep without her. I ended up going to her room and sleeping in her bed just like we had for months in the hotel. The beds were big enough here, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, my sister safe beside me, I fell into a deep sleep of peaceful dreams.

We slept through the night and well into the morning, unafraid and undisturbed, and it was the greatest gift the Vault could have given to us. Then Jordan arrived and we spoke, just beginning to get into the horrors of her time with Jevin when we were called to Abby's office. I had so many questions for James, but I kept them in. I would ask my leader why the Hell he had killed a mage later, a friend of Abby's no less. Why he had acted on behalf of Malachi, which I was sure must have been the case. What was his angle? He always had a plan.

Instead of asking all the questions I had, I was a good Clan member and looked to my leader, followed his orders, and left, letting Malachi and James figure it out. Jordan stayed too, ever the opposite of a good follower.

To be honest, after leaving the office, I didn't really know what to do, or what there was to do, or where things were. So Nevaeh and I wandered until we found a cafeteria and hunkered down for a late, leisurely breakfast. I preferred to cook my own food, but the meal was good, and there was an endless supply and plenty of the vegetarian variety. Plus, I was starving after sleeping so long. Then James walked in, looking distracted, deep in thought, but with a curve pulling up the corners of his lips. He looked...happy, and it made a tension in my shoulders I didn't even know I had been carrying relax. He didn't notice we were at our small table tucked back in a corner as he sat down to eat, but it was kind of fun to watch him without him knowing, to see him just being.

Then Malachi came in with his loose, lazy gate, and his golden eyes, looking like an animal just waiting for the opportunity to pounce on some unsuspecting prey. Luckily, he sat in the corner across the room from James and ate the cafeteria's offerings instead.

I was about to comment to Nev how funny it was that almost every corner of the cafeteria was occupied by Darklings, our backs to our respective walls like the paranoid freaks we were, when Jordan walked in with Chi and her Clan in tow. She scanned the room, tracking each of us in our separate corners like we had been broken up and sent there for bad behavior, and a rare, wry smile made an appearance on her face. She took the empty corner with the Clan she had spent weeks with, nodding to James, Nev and me first, ignoring Malachi, though I knew she knew he was there. He ignored her too, though his eyes kept bouncing to Chi throughout the rest of his meal, looking less and less gold, more and more yellow, glowing like some big cat in the shadows.

» ✦ «

I felt immensely better once my ribs were back in their anatomically correct places. And once I had food in me, though I still hadn't had any luck finding a goddamn drink. But with my immediate needs met, my body was bombarding me with the fact that I still hadn't slept. And though the last thing I wanted was to have a visit from my master, I also was learning more and more intel, which was unfortunate, as I knew he would be able to get it out of me.

Why couldn't Gabriel, his annoying True Pair, and their ridiculous misfit posse keep their secrets to themselves? Second Shifts, the magnitude of the mage's power-draining magic, even Jordan's ability to grab emotions and strip a person bare, not to mention actually being True Pairs, Halfling True Pairs. They couldn't have simply played their hands close to their chests and only shown me her Sign, or some shadow of their connection or their Clan bonds - no, they had to lay it all out and spill their guts. And now I would have to tell my master over my bleeding own.

The grating ruminating thought tried to flit through my mind again. The one that had been tickling my brain ever since I got the assignment to attack their caravan. The one that had maybe been buried even deeper for far longer. What I had said in the gym, when I was choking on my fear, when I had sounded like a child again, hoping James would come back and kill his father, rescue me, was looping again and again through my thoughts, a movie reel I couldn't stop. But I batted it away time and time again like a fly. It was just a trick of his Pair's ability. Just the foolish fantasy a caged dog had of freedom. I wouldn't even know what to do with it.

Sure, it had been true, I would be on their side if they could win, but they couldn't. And it didn't matter to me who was on which side anyway, not really, only survival mattered. I knew exactly where I was going after death and I would do anything to avoid it. I'd rather be a bitch for the winning side than a hero on the losers'. I'd rather be the villain but alive than some saintly martyr, trapped in Hell or brought back to be something worse. I'd be a terrible hero anyway. The urges I had every time I looked at the snack-sized leader of the weak Clan across the room from me proved that.

I couldn't quite place how I knew her, but I did. And it was from something unpleasant, which made me dislike her more. Her sharp, dark eyes made me feel something tighten in my chest, her voice made me want to recoil. Her whole family made me uncomfortable. So, naturally, I wanted to kill them all. Maybe then the discomfort would leave me. I had to keep training my mind away from those thoughts, as I was having a pleasant meal and didn't want to ruin it by getting zapped by Abby's purity collar. But still, every time I let my eyes wander, they landed back on her, Chimarah, trying to sift through my mind and pinpoint how exactly I knew her, that small face and haunting voice. Even being in her Clan's warehouse had itched, bothering me somehow, but at least I had the distraction of the impending Skia playtime to keep my mind off it then.

I refocused on my plate for what seemed the tenth time and resigned myself to sleeping later, meeting whatever creative horrors awaited me from my master. I only hoped the walls of the Vault were thick.

Alright so life is crazy busy right now and I won't be updating twice weekly anymore. Probably just Fridays (: but I'll do my best to make those deadlines at least!!

Hope you liked this perspectives chapter!