We drove until we found a two-track that led into the naked late-winter woods, not wanting to be so conspicuous as to lay our unconscious guest on the highway's shoulder, even if it wasn't a busy one.

Ailech placed both hands over Malachi's closed eyes, his head turned like he was listening for something, his own eyes closed as well. And then he stayed like that, 'searching' him. So, we waited. And watched. And listened to the forest.

It was strange watching another healer work, not being the only one in the Clan anymore, or the best one in the Clan. Though I wasn't sure if Ailech was really 'in' our Clan. I had always thought of healing as my role. Nevaeh was the stealth and mind weaving, also kind of the bitch of the group, and the money. James was the leader, the natural, the source of our power. I was the healer and physical strength, comedic relief when needed. And Jordan...she was something else, our humanity without being weak like so many thought humanity brought, while still being fierce. Fiercely loyal. Fiercely good. She kept us connected to the world and kept James connected to something in it, to the idea of not leaving it. She had connected him to being a person, not just a leader, something more than a Half. Maybe that's what she was, our heart, our drive for more, for better.

But now having Ailech here, a mage that made me look like a street magician - it was strange. I almost felt misplaced, like some of my responsibility had been stripped away. Actually, seeing him do what he was born to do, what he could naturally do so much better than me, was pretty cool to watch, strange but cool. I could probably learn so much from him. And I would finally learn from mages like our kind was meant to. It made me crack a smile, made me excited to get to the Vault, a feeling I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

My anxiety had been melting away over the last days, more every hour as it sunk in that I wasn't the leader anymore, that I didn't have my sister's life depending on me, every decision on my shoulders. My very bones trusted James, regardless of his blood, and the fact that I was back with him, with someone who was born to lead, to protect his Clan, and somehow always managed to make the right decision to do that - I was happy, truly happy.

Plus, if Ailech really could find a trace of the Collector in Malachi, or rather, if he could find the right trace, I would be hugely impressed. Even when I had warded him at the beginning of our trip, it has been close to impossible to see what shadows were from a connected presence and what darkness was just from his life, his history, or his own bloodline, his own mind. Separating which connections to the Collector were sinister but natural, from which were sinister and embedded was like trying to detangle yarn that couldn't keep its shape.

Basically, healing Malachi was like trying to put back together a smashed vase. Where did you even start? The man was a fucking dumpster fire, and that was coming from me, someone who had just kissed and stabbed his dead-but-alive-again evil ex. I just hoped James knew what he was doing bringing him with us.

I was already impressed by Ailech's heals, on himself and us, but if he could truly 'search' through a Halfling and find one specific damaged line leaving him, then he should have his own damn class at the Vault. He probably could have made my wards look like child's play if that had been his specialty.

My wandering mind was brought back to reality as Ailech hissed in through his teeth like he was in pain. His eyes squeezed shut as he continued to suck breath in and push it out through gritted teeth, his whole body was tensed like he was in a seizure. Then, with a final groan, he sat back on his heels, shaking his hands out in front of him like they were hot.

"Well, that burned like the clap on the sun, but I think I got it all, severed whatever kind of sick connection that was. But damn, I seriously hope that isn't what he's been feeling this whole time. It was like his eyes were on fire. No wonder he's been pissy. I only pulled it into my hands for a moment, but if that's what the cost was for the link, then he could make you and James both look like children in Cordelia's training."

Though Ailech spoke with a note of humor in his voice, looking at James and Jordan I saw the sad glance they gave each other. Confirming that whoever Cordelia was, her 'training' must be highly unpleasant. A moment later Malachi blinked up at us, coming-to just in time for Ailech to reach one hand out in warning.

"You make one move and I'll lay you out again, 'kay psycho?"

But even with Ailech's threat, Malachi ignored him. Instead, he rolled his golden eyes around in his head and blinked a few times before speaking in a bored tone.

"I see you found our little spyglass. Well, this is unquestionably more comfortable."

"You can feel it's gone? Was it a burning? That was really what you were feeling this whole time?" Ailech asked with true curiosity in his voice, almost sounding impressed. Almost.

Malachi sat up and swiveled to face James, turning his back to Ailech and his questions.

"You've burned people's eyes out, right Gabriel? Well, I can't say I have any sympathy for them, but at least I understand the anguish they felt. Is that called empathy? Hm regardless, I'll keep the tactic in mind for future use - I bet it will be a persuasive tool."

"Empathy or burning eyes out?" I muttered under my breath. Nevvy cracked a smile next to me.

"But you were using a dulling word, Angel name or something. Right?" Ailech spoke up before James could answer Malachi, still sounding incredulous.

Malachi slowly looked back to Ailech, his gilded eyes looking more yellow than gold in the forest's dim light, bright like an animal's. His wild smile didn't help make him look any less of a beast.

"No pain, no gain, little Human. I would have thought you'd understand that, understand the fleeting nature of pain since you can heal it away so well. But no, you're still afraid of a little discomfort, of the price. Hm, strange."

His voice was low and soft, like it was coming from somewhere deep inside him, like a purr. Everything about him made my stomach turn, and I wondered if it was his similarities to James, just without a soul. That is, if James had a soul.

I looked up to see my brother watching me from the other side of Malachi like he knew my thoughts. But he didn't, that was Jordan's gift, not his. I still felt guilty though. Of course he had a soul, or something like it, some drive to do good, to try to be good. I should be ashamed of myself for thinking any worse of him just because of what he was. But I couldn't help it, couldn't keep the thoughts away that I might have to kill him one day, if his blood overcame whatever else was in him, driving him to be good. I loved him. I trusted him. But I wasn't delusional, and I dreaded the looming possibility of that day's arrival.

"I can teach you to not fear pain, to pull your power from it instead, to love it, to live in it. Mmh, to bask in it. If only you'll let me show you, little Angel."

Malachi continued in his deep, velvet voice, but he was watching Jordan now, his head turned to one side as he peered up at her. I wanted to step between them, block her from his view, though I didn't know why. I got my answer a moment later.

Jordan stumbled back like she had been struck, but by the time she hit the ground she was still, her stormy eyes staring up at the bare treetops wide and unseeing, her hair splayed out around her in the dirt and snow and thin leaves like a dark halo.

Ailech was by her side a moment later, but James went straight to the source.

One moment he was across the clearing from me, and the next he was on top of his old training partner, his eyes black, lips pulled back in a bestial snarl showing pointed teeth. He looked like a true demon as I felt his power tear through the clearing, raising the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck like he was electricity itself. Both of his hands were around Malachi's neck as he bared down on him.

"Let her go," James growled in his face, pushing down on Malachi's neck so hard it would have snapped a Human's.

"Of course, my prince." Malachi smiled up at James, perfectly calm as he showed his bound palms in submission.

Jordan gasped in a breath and sat bolt upright, her chest heaving as she sobbed.

Sobbed. Jordan was crying.

The scene had only taken a few seconds, from her standing there looking at Malachi to her collapse, James' pounce, and then her waking. But I got the feeling a lot longer had passed in her mind, wherever she had gone. Wherever Malachi had taken her, hijacking her Gift.

She sunk her head into her hands and stayed there, pulling her knees up toward her chest. Her wet breaths seemed to roar through the quiet forest. Ailech still crouched next to her awkwardly like he didn't quite know what to do, and when James approached, he was visibly relieved and moved away. James wrapped his arms around Jordan's shaking shoulders and held her gently, though the look in his eyes was anything but gentle as he stared with deadly purpose over the top of her bowed head at Malachi.

Malachi just smiled, flicking his tongue back and forth, clicking his piercing against his teeth rhythmically, his yellow eyes taking it all in with delight.

» ✦ «

The sounds of the wintery forest should have been peaceful, the cold, fresh air comforting, but instead, it just made me feel exposed. Made me realize how our entire group was being delayed, at greater risk because we had an unwilling stowaway. How Chi and her Clan were still in danger because of this detour. That even as we tried to help Malachi, he was trying to take us down. Maybe that was his true purpose, a distraction, something to pull our attention. Maybe James' father knew that his son's biggest blindspot would always be the people in his past he had hurt, his guilt.

But if he really had tried to get himself knocked out, to make sure he wouldn't let the Collector see the Vault's entrance firsthand, then maybe James was right and there was something to be saved. Unfortunately, I more agreed with Nevaeh's explanation - that he had simply done it to thwart the Collector, even though he was on his side, to exact some sort of control over his own life, some act of rebellion when he could. But then maybe we could use that to our advantage too.

All my thoughts disappeared when he woke up, when he spoke and every word showed just how damaged he was, how mistreated he had been his whole life. I tried to fight back the feelings of pity I felt welling up, at how he hardly even noticed a pain that had made Ailech cry out. The words Cordelia said to James after our sole session kept repeating in my head.

I am so sorry for the life you have endured, child.

It held so much more knowing that they had both endured it when they actually were children. But at least James had known years without that kind of pain or training. But not Malachi. Something in me ached for him, answering some call, and it made it hard to hear his words to Ailech.

But then he addressed me, his gleaming eyes on me, and I could feel him pulling me in, feel those haunting eyes digging into me. My Gift shifted in my mind, a shiver, but I didn't have time to wonder why before a memory grabbed my mind and tore into it. I wasn't the one in control, the memory had the power, my Gift was dragged into it and my mind pulled along with it.

The first things I noticed were dark eyes watching me, James' eyes. The second thing was that my entire body hurt, different hurts all over, some sharp, some dull, some burning, but everything hurt. And the third thing was that I couldn't move.

I was tied to a chair as James stood before me, younger, darker, colder. He wore a smile that made my breath catch - this wasn't my Pair, this was a monster. I felt dread rising in me, or in the memory's host, in Malachi. He was afraid of James. And as I looked up at him, at the feral excitement in his eyes at what he was about to do to me, I was afraid of him too.

James pushed his hair back with slick hands, hands coated in blood, Malachi's blood. And his smile tipped higher, showing his straight, white teeth. I saw them morph in front of me, turning to elongated points, and when I looked up higher, I saw his eyes had changed to black pools, reflecting back Malachi's wide eyes, golden and full of fear. James' hand rose slowly to my throat, his shadowed gaze locked with mine the whole time like he was drinking in the image, like he enjoyed my panic.

When his fingers reached my neck it wasn't with skin, but burning coals as he pulled his Sign to his fingertips and grabbed me. I smelled the sizzle of my own flesh and I screamed until my voice went hoarse. Then he threw his head back and laughed.

When my eyes opened again, my hands were bound. My body still hurt, but in different ways, maybe less. I was older, or Malachi was, I could feel my body was bigger, stronger. I was leaning forward, over something, staring at a polished marble floor, but when I tried to move, adjust to see what else the room held, I realized my hands were bound not only to each other but the floor. A thick chain connected the shackles at my wrists to a loop on the floor, keeping my arms stretched out before me. My muscles were stiff like I had been there for a long time, left and waiting.

I heard footfalls behind me and my aching muscles tensed, dread seeping into my veins again. Then I heard the crack of a whip, to practice, or maybe just to frighten me further. I felt Malachi's body tighten, but no strike followed. Instead, I heard James' smooth voice and Malachi flinched harder at the sound than he had at the whip.

"You lost again. How many did my father say this time?"

I felt my dry mouth open after a beat, my lips cracked, and a low voice that wasn't my own replied.

"Ten."

"Hm, that seems low. He must know how weak you are. Let's see if we can fix that. If you stay quiet, I'll reward you." His words were condescending, and I heard a smile colder than the stone beneath me in his voice. He would enjoy this, and something told me, maybe Malachi's own mind, that I wouldn't be able to stay quiet.

There was a second's pause, my breath held frozen in my chest, and then what felt like lightning tore through my back, peeling my skin and ripping a scream from my throat no matter how I tried to stay silent. I sunk my teeth into my lip but it wasn't enough to keep my cries muffled.

Finally, I felt the tenth razored edge slice through my skin, down my back, and the body I was in sagged. But a second later another came, and another, and another. I lost count after seventeen, knowing there couldn't possibly be any skin left on Malachi's back.

My knees had given out sometime earlier and I was collapsed against the stone, barely able to gasp in breath. Then I heard Malachi's voice, cracked and weak as he begged. Begged James to stop, to have mercy, to finish. The pain in my back mingled with the pain in my chest at hearing his words, his voice so broken. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to be done, to wake up and be back in the forest.

My eyes opened a third time and I immediately knew it was a new memory. My body still hurt, but again less, and I was standing, my hands unbound in a fighting stance. My body moved of its own accord, dodging and blocking, striking and countering swiftly. I felt the dance down to my core, a laugh climbing my throat, a smile on my lips. But then I misstepped, one small mistake, and my opponent's face became clear like I was finally able to focus on it.

James landed a solid blow to the center of my face and I heard my nose crunch, my cheek split. But instead of giving a moment to recover, so we could continue to train as he would have at the manor, so we could reset, he advanced forward, blow after blow until I fell to the ground. But he still continued, on top of me now, his knees on either side of my chest, one hand twisted in my hair, holding my head steady as he came down, again and again.

He had a vicious smile on his face as it became splattered with my blood, his fist coming away redder with each blow. I felt my face caving in, my bones splintering under his hands. Fear and pain washed over me as he struck, over and over until the image faded to hazy darkness.

The fourth time my eyes opened I wanted to cry, it was too much, I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to see this, to see James like this, Malachi like this. But I couldn't stop it. My body hurt, but only a distant thrum. The pain in my heart far outweighed any my body could feel.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up. I was on my knees, outside, the stars twinkling above me beautifully. Then I saw the midnight blue eyes, the ones I used to think were more beautiful than the night sky but now made me want to shrink away, even as I felt thin admiration still in Malachi's mind. I saw those eyes turn black as I felt my shoulder dislocate. I didn't scream, just continued to stare up into those black eyes, adoration and hatred swirling in Malachi's mind in sick, equal measure.

"Fix it," James growled, his voice sounding nothing like the smooth calm I was used to. He was angry, though it didn't seem to be at me. Something else was bothering him, and it worried Malachi.

I reached up and jammed my shoulder back with a pop. But I winced, just barely, my eyes squinting slightly at the feeling. James noticed as a sneer pulled up one side of his lips, showing his pointed teeth, flashing in the bright starlight.

"Again. Yourself this time. Get it fucking right." His voice sounded like his father's, disappointed and disgusted with my weakness. And that was the last thought I had before my phantom hand reached up and pulled my shoulder out with a crack.

By the fifth time my eyes opened, I already knew what was coming. I don't know how, but I knew who I would see when I looked up. Grayson. He looked younger, but only just. And he smiled at me in a way that made me understand exactly why James hated him so. Speaking of the devil, James was laying next to me on the floor, his head lolled to the side, his eyes closed, his black hair pushed back from his face.

He looked young like that, and I suppose he was, he looked much younger than the last memory, just a child really, barely a teen. It made me want to go to him, shield him somehow. To my surprise, that's just what Malachi did as he crawled closer and reached over to shake James gently.

Grayson laughed, leveling his beady eyes on James. A moment later my Pair's body began to twitch, convulsing on the floor as Grayson used his ability on him even as he was already unconscious from the pain. Malachi watched in horror at James' body shaking on the floor before sitting back on his heels and bowing his head, not able to watch as he waited his turn.

I felt the agony of Grayson's power for only a moment before everything was plunged into darkness, before the waves of pain overcame me and I sunk into nothingness. I prayed I would open my eyes and be back in the woods, begged anything that was listening for this to end. I didn't want this. I didn't want to see it, feel it. I didn't want to know it. I couldn't take it anymore, I wasn't strong enough.

But the sixth time my eyes opened was the worst. I was in the Collector's chambers, I could feel it, like Malachi's knowledge was leaking into my own mind in his memory. I could still feel hurts in my body, a larger body, older, stronger. But the pain was far away, easily forgotten. I heard a crash and a clatter as something was thrown across the room, as something smashed, then a roar that sounded not of this world. It echoed through the stone beneath me like the Earth shuddered at it.

The rage in that yell froze the breath in Malachi's chest and I knew that James had left, disappeared, and I was going to suffer for it. That the Collector was going to destroy me until his anger was satiated. Malachi's breath quickened and I felt pure terror for the first time in a vision, not dread, not fear, but true and total, deep and icy terror with no escape. Not even escape in death. I felt tears slip from my eyes as I knelt, bowing my head as my entire body began to shake with fear. I clasped my hands in my lap to try and stop their trembling, but it didn't matter. A sob escaped my throat before Malachi bit down hard to keep the rest silent, tasting blood.

At that moment I knew I couldn't run from the Collector, I couldn't fight him, I could only submit and hope he let me survive. I was weak, alone, defenseless. I was at his mercy, now and forever...and I was wholly afraid.

And then I was staring at the cold gray sky, gasping for breath, sobbing and choking and shaking with fear, with pain, with sadness and other emotions I couldn't even name because I had never been able to imagine them before, let alone feel them. I felt James wrap his arms around me, but there was no comfort there. How could there be when he had caused so much pain? When he had terrorized Malachi for years? I locked my Gift away, never wanting to see through it again as I continued to sob into my hands.

I am so sorry for this chapter. It sucks and I have nothing more to say.

T