If I fall asleep, please don't let me dream.
I keep on wishing that I'll forget those awful things I've seen.
Is there a way to tell the difference in between a dream and a memory?

In Fear and Faith - Dream Catcher

I'm not sure at what point I fell asleep, but I knew it was a dream from the start. I was in an impressive house, not like the Clan's manor, it was more luxurious, more extravagant. I saw a child walking up the stairs, maybe seven or eight. He looked so small on the grand, stone staircase. His hair was pitch black like the shadows in the corners of the room. I knew it was James.

Someone dressed like a maid or house-worker walked by him, avoiding his gaze and leaning against the rail, trying to stay as far from him as possible. I saw the little boy turn to look at her right as she made the mistake of glancing at him too. He flashed a smile, his teeth like razors, his eyes changing to black pools, just for a moment. The woman let out a small squeaked scream before hurrying past him on the steps.

The scene melted into a dark room with an old man sitting in a chair, his arms were tied behind him and his head hung. I heard a door clang shut and the man lifted his head, his eyes immediately took on a look of dread and I saw his neck tense, the thin skin stretched in fear. The man's voice was raspy and weak when he spoke.

"Please...let me go, I don't know where she is, I can't do anything for him. There's nothing I can do. Please, just let me go. I know you don't want to do this, you're just a child, he's making you, I know. I can help you, boy."

As soon as he spoke the last words I cringed. I knew it was James who had come into the room, and offering help didn't seem like the smartest thing to say to him. The voice that answered was different, but still smooth and mocking, definitely James. He was a young teenager, thirteen I'd guess. He walked into the dim light and the man pushed back in his chair, trying to get as far from him as possible within his constraints.

James had a thin knife in one hand, and a series of cuts neatly lined up on his other hand and arm. They ran from the center of the back of his left hand to halfway up his elbow and they looked fresh, blood still ran from one of them. The man's eyes sank to the wounds and James laughed. He somehow sounded similar and yet completely different, his voice colder, his laugh darker. It made me shiver even in my dream.

"You like my clock? Every time you don't tell me what I need to know I have to mark. Each mark represents a debt to my father, each debt is another reason he owns me. After all, I'm his, my blood is his, my soul."

James' eyes had the look of amusement in them that I had grown accustomed to, but it was different too, just like everything else about him, the same but not. A clock somewhere in the house struck eleven and James turned his face to the noise before a sly smile pulled up the corner of his mouth.

"This is the seventh, one more debt I owe. Did you know that means you've just killed seven people by not telling me what I need? That's what most of his errands are, well, maybe he'll use a couple of my marks as punishments, so maybe you've only murdering five people. Probably children, my father hates children. Do you have any?"

James moved the knife to his arm and then paused, crouching down in front of the man.

"Would you like to watch? You can picture me cutting into them instead of poor, helpless me if it makes things easier."

James laughed again, throwing his head back. Then he took the knife and laid it against his skin, he slid it back slowly, watching the blood leak from the cut. His face stayed still as he made the mark, not an inkling of pain or emotion in his eyes, like a machine. He had his head cocked slightly, like he sometimes did when he was thinking of something, or seeing something strange.

When the cut was made, perfectly lined up with the others, perfectly spaced, James tossed the knife to the corner of the room and looked back to the man whose face now had a look of abject horror and disgust on it.

"L-look kid, I can help you get out of here, I can get you the...the help you need. I know you don't want to do this, he makes you, I-I get it, but you don't want to. Just let me go and I can save you from this, from him."

The man looked like he might be sick, but his words were louder this time.

James cocked his head again, in the opposite direction this time, and let his arm drop to his side, the blood slowly running down to his fingertips.

"I'm sorry but you're gravely mistaken, no one can save me. Now, let's try this again. I do hope I won't need another mark before you tell me what I need to know. Oh, and just so you know...I do want to do this, trust me, I want to do this very much."

In a blink James' eyes went dark and the room sizzled with his power. The man screamed when he saw James' Shift.

"Wh-what are you?" The captive stammered after he had recovered from his shock.

James chuckled before answering, baring his teeth as he did.

"I'm an Angel, can't you tell?"

The room swam again and disappeared into darkness. This time I saw a study, a fireplace crackled on the far wall and I felt myself walking toward it. There was a small child, not more than five curled up next to the fire and he sniffled as I approached. He looked up and his wide, dark eyes looked terrified, wet streaks ran down his soot-streaked cheeks. He held his arm against his chest and I could see blackened flesh peeking out from his sleeve. He had blood on his face and a bruise on one cheek just beginning to swell.

I wanted to drop to my knees and help the poor child, but it was like I was merely watching from another's eyes. Then a voice that wasn't my own came from me.

"Don't cry, it's pathetic and weak and if your father found you like this he would kill you. Go find someone to wrap your hand, then go practice again. If you weren't so careless with your training you wouldn't have burnt yourself in the first place and your father wouldn't have had to punish you. Now leave, I can't stand the sight of you any longer."

The voice was a woman's and from her tone and the pitiful look in the little boy's - in James' - eyes, I guessed it was his mother. I felt anger boil up in me. How dare she treat him that way! He was her own child, and she acted like she despised him.

The last scene I saw was of James at thirteen again. He had thin scars on his arm now, running up from the back of his left hand. They still looked recent, the wounds just changed from scab to new, light skin. Only a week or so after the scene with the old man I guessed.

James was sitting on the end of his bed, his feet planted on the ground, staring unseeing out ahead of him. He slowly rubbed the scars, starting with the ones on the back of his hand and moving up his arm. His lips were moving but I couldn't tell what he was saying, then his eyes dropped to his scars and I could make out the words.

"Lucy, Eric, Dale, the new servant girl, Madeline, and then my punishments..." He spoke as if each mark was a name, saying each as he ran his finger over the representative line. The last two were his punishments, seven scars all together. He raised his eyes as he rubbed the last one.

"Last one. I'll be faster next time."

His eyes looked dead as he stared out into his room again. The door opened and a woman with auburn hair stood in the doorway, she was pretty but everything about her seemed harsh.

"You're father wants to see you, he isn't in a good mood so I wouldn't keep him waiting if I were you. Bring your knife, you owe him something."

She said the last words with a smile touching her lips. She knew what was about to happen, and she was happy about it. I felt my stomach turn at the thought.

As James stood the light from the doorway fell over his face and neck and something looked different. I realized that the skin across his throat was unmarred by any mark or line or scar. I knew that after the night I was watching the scar would be there. Some part of me knew this was when he got it.

James grabbed the same thin knife he had used to make his marks and walked past his mother without looking at her. She closed the door and the room was plunged into darkness.

» ✦ «

I woke up in a soft, warm bed surrounded by the most wonderful smell; pine and smoke and mint. I smiled and stretched, feeling soft sheets on my skin, then I remembered where I had fallen asleep. I opened my eyes to a dark ceiling. I sat up in James' bed, but he wasn't there. I slid my feet to the side and slowly moved them to the floor, trying to make the bed's sighs as quiet as possible. I saw a tuft of dark hair sticking out from the end of the couch by the fire and walked over to find James sleeping there. My connection didn't feel any sorrow or guilt and the crushing pain was gone too. I was glad he was finally getting some peace, even if it was only in unconsciousness.

I silently opened his door and slipped out, closing it behind me before I walked across the dark basement. At the top of the stairs I finally took a deep breath. I couldn't believe all that had transpired the night before. I felt like I actually knew James, then my dreams came back to me and I had to fight the tears burning behind my eyes.

How strange to think the only things that could make me feel any real emotions were the emotions of someone else, the past of someone else. My own past only brought apathy and the mild desire to walk into traffic. I felt my heart jump a little as I thought of the feelings I had for James. I pushed them from my mind as I turned the handle to the kitchen.

Light blinded me as I opened the door. I had thought it was still the middle of the night, or maybe early morning, early enough for it to still be dark outside, clearly I had approximated incorrectly by a few hours.

Kael and Nevaeh were sitting at the breakfast bar eating what looked like salads with an assortment of candied nuts in little cups next to them. Kael had a large forkful of greens mostly in his mouth, but he pulled it out after a moment of shocked silence. His opened mouth quickly turned into a toothy grin and he slid from his stool and closed the few feet between us quickly, patting me on the back hard enough to save me if I was choking, before he stepped back and leaned on the counter.

"So, it went well. You are alive, and you don't look unhappy or maimed or injured. And you were with him all night. You aren't pregnant, are you?"

He feigned a concerned look before laughing and shaking his bangs out of his face, the rest of his hair was pulled into a messy ponytail at the crown of his head. I couldn't help but notice the sneer on Nevaeh's face, but the idea of rubbing in the fact that I had technically spent the night with James didn't seem appealing. What we had shared hardly seemed right to gloat about. It had been private and intimate in a way I didn't yet fully understand.

Instead of playing along with Kael I just smiled and grabbed a mug from the counter.

"We talked, that's all."

"What! Not even a goodnight kiss? You two are bo-ring."

Kael gave a mischievous smirk before returning to his seat and forcing a huge mouthful of leaves into his mouth. I may have been searching for a change in subject, or maybe the thought just came to me, but I realized I had never asked why the manor seemed vegetarian. I nodded to the salads before I spoke.

"You didn't tell me when you asked me to stay here that I would have to give up steak, you know. Maybe I would have chosen dark if they offered bacon."

Kael snorted a short laugh as he chewed.

"That's my fault mainly, and a little of Nevaeh's doing as well. As an Earth, I'm fairly well connected to my environment and nature. Long story short; I can't eat meat, makes me sick for days. Nevaeh's father was an Earth too, so she grew up in a vegetarian home. James enjoys a nice steak every once in a while, but he mainly keeps it out of the house out of respect for me and Nev's lifestyle. I used to think that's where he went for his late night trips, but there are surprisingly few twenty-four hour quality steak joints near us."

The whole time Kael had given his explanation he continued to unload large forkfuls of greenery into his mouth. Nevaeh merely picked at hers, a scowl on her face.

A groggy voice spoke from the hallway behind me, making my heart skip a beat.

"G'morning. Anybody make coffee yet?"

I casually turned but Nevaeh and Kael's heads both snapped to James at the sound of his voice.

There was a coffee maker dripping away on the countertop, so I poured for us both, setting his mug on the island as he made a big show of stretching and cracking his back, neck and seemingly every possible junction in his hands.

"Rough night?" Kael asked casually, but with a playful look in his eyes.

"Yeah lil' bit actually. She's been trained really well, brother. She caught me off guard once, laid me out actually. "

"Oh, she got you off-I mean caught you off, did she?" Kael joked. James just smacked the back of his head as he walked by.

His hair was blonde again, which didn't surprise me. I assumed just because I knew, that didn't mean he'd tell everyone, or maybe Kael already did know, it didn't matter. I smiled into my mug as I thought about all the things we had shared.

"What are you grinning at?" James said teasingly as he crossed the kitchen toward me. About halfway to me it looked as if he wasn't sure how close to get, so he leaned on the island instead.

"Just good coffee, that's all," I said before taking a big sip that burned the roof of my mouth.

"So True Pairs, eh? Fucking fantastic! I guess that explains why she's so good, right? She's your mirror, your, well...pair! This is going to be great. Do you guys share Signs and Gifts too? Can you talk to each other in your heads? Like, I know Jordan can hear stuff, but can she reply? Give me details, this is legendary!"

Kael was acting like an excited puppy again. If he had a tail it would have been wagging furiously. James dropped his head and chuckled a little before replying.

"Let me check."

I heard you last night, you said my name. You said it in your head after my memory when I was attacking you, trying to...well, try that again?

James' thoughts seemed so natural in my head and I loved the extra layer of fire they brought. I had felt his presence ever since he came up the stairs, but it was always more intense when he spoke to me this way. I kept sipping my coffee as I tried to focus on his mind.

Your bed is nice.

James seemed to choke on his drink for a second before it turned to a slight laugh. His tight-lipped smile was close to reaching his eyes as they met mine above the rim of my cup.

Thank you, I like it too, usually.

A second later he dropped his eyes and drained his mug before casually replying 'yup' to Kael and rummaging through the fridge. Kael looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

"What about your Signs? Gifts? Aren't you supposed to have some, I don't know, some overlap?"

"Hey, I only know as much as you do. And since I haven't spent much time with my Pair, I haven't tested these things. We'll have to do a little extra training and exploring I think."

Kael made a suggestive face and rolled his hands down his body while shimmying at James' word choice. Nevaeh just rolled her eyes and slid off her barstool, heading for the stairs. James continued.

"What I do know is that we need to get her Sign to appear before we can really try anything out. I might have had one mix, but I can't be certain."

I saw a flash of a memory in my head, of a hand, James' hand, raising and throwing out hot wind that knock me back from the road and oncoming bus in the city the second time we crossed pathes. I felt James' surprise at what he had done, and then I was back in the kitchen.

I glanced to James who was waiting for me. He had one eyebrow raised in question, asking if I understood what the memory meant. I gave a slight nod before finishing my coffee and setting the mug in the sink.

I had thought the same thing before. How could he have thrown that gust of wind at me, how could he have saved me, if he had no connection to Air? I had to stop myself from smiling again. I liked being connected to him.

I like it too.

I was shocked to hear James' reply in my head.

We'll work on your blocks more and the guards for your mind, don't worry.

I took a chance and tried to silently ask him a question, to see if he could really hear me all the time when I directed my thoughts at him.

How come I can turn off my Gift, but you can't? Why can I turn on the fire now but you can't block me anymore?

James' face took on a mischievous look before I heard his reply.

I can't ever turn off my Gift, my visions. It's my way of trying to understand people, searching them. My power is always there, so I could block you before, but I could never actually stop our Gifts from touching. You can shut yours off completely, just like Nevaeh can, but since I don't choose when my visions come, or what I see in people, I can't turn it off. Blocking you is incredibly difficult now, so the only way either of us will ever get any peace is if you turn off your Gift.

His words made me smile, the undercurrent of his last statement was clearly meant to be humorous.

During our entire mini-conversation, Kael had been quietly watching. Now he spoke up.

"That's creepy cool. Our enemies won't even know what hit them. And I thought Nev and I had some great chemistry. We'll be unstoppable!"

Kael hopped off his stool and started walking toward the stairs like Nev had before he turned back.

"Are we visiting the pack today? Ace says it's happening tonight, so being on-call might be smart."

James gave a quick nod and then we were alone.

"So, you like my bed."

He had an amused smile pulling up one side of his mouth and the cocky look in his eyes made it seem a little sexy.

I smirked back.

"It's alright. How was the couch?"

He let out a breath of laughter.

"I can honestly say that's the best night's sleep I've gotten in weeks. And it's because you're stubborn and frustrating...and exactly what I needed. Thank you."

I smiled at him before walking toward the hall, but stopped when I heard him speak again.

"Will you be joining us tonight? I think it's about time you had some field experience, don't you?"

Do we recognize this band? They started off the book, yes? Interesting...very interesting...

T