A death in me is a death in you.

Like Moths the Flames - The Blackout

The tense silence dragged on in the kitchen for an unbearably long time, but I hardly even noticed. I had never felt so much fury and hatred. I had never felt that kind of anger. My usual anger led to violence or trying to force the terrible, gory thoughts from my mind, but this...this was different. This anger stemmed from something steeped in pain, and that pain's fire had turned to burning hate, as if it was easier that way, easier to hold.

I had thought James was honest with me, I could have sworn he was, at least mostly, partly, but I had been dead wrong. I had been so open to this new life, so ready for change. I had grown too trusting and soft. My silly little crush on a man I didn't even know had taken me by such surprise, I hadn't realized what it had done to me. I was disgusted with myself and that just added to my anger.

I made a silent vow to not fall prey to my emotions again. I would be untouchable. I would be stone. I would be strong. I would learn all I could from the Clan, improve and hone my powers and then I would leave. Go on my own, that's how I was meant to be anyways. I had learned a long time ago that attachments were weaknesses. I was better off on my own.

"I think we have some things to discuss, Jordan."

James finally broke the silence. My name sounded foreign on his lips. His tone was persuasive, but his eyes were cold and something deeper in his voice set off alarms in my mind. The memory of his violent thoughts and the determination that anchored them pulled at me but I refused to be afraid. If death awaited me in my future before I learned enough to leave the Clan, I wouldn't die a coward. I would rather burn out in an act of defiance than fade away with a whimper.

"Actually, I think you've made yourself pretty clear, if by accident. Too bad I had to discover it on my own since you're too much of a coward to come at me from the front. But hey, to each their own. Forgive me if I don't want to give you the opportunity to lie to me further."

I placed as much venom into each word as was possible before I turned to Kael.

"When do I train next?" It was difficult to make my voice pleasant, but I tried to remember that I had never felt hatred or death-threats leak from Kael's mind at me. He wasn't the wolf, James was.

"Nine," Kael answered shortly, his eyes wide with disbelief at what was unfolding before him. He and Nev were both frozen in place. The sound of dinner sizzling the only noise breaking the silence.

"Perfect, I'll be back by then."

I turned towards the door when I felt a strong hand close around my upper arm, I spun so quickly he didn't even have the edge of a second to react. My fist made solid contact with James' cheek and I felt his face swing to the side with the force of the blow.

I heard Nevaeh let out a small noise of surprise, but I kept my eyes on James. He stayed half-turned from me, one hand steadying himself on the island in the center of the kitchen. He slowly raised his eyes to mine, a small line of blood filling the crease at the corner of his mouth, he wiped at it with the back of the hand that had grabbed me a moment earlier, smearing it slightly. The sight of it began to twist my stomach, but I ordered the feeling away. James didn't deserve my sympathy, not anymore.

"Now that was a mistake, Angel."

His voice sounded almost playful, but the threat was thickly apparent. His words promised consequences, but I didn't care. I knew I would lose in a fight, it was silly of me to even think I could fend off James, but I didn't care. My plan of staying and training that I had harbored moments earlier felt like a distant dream. If James was going to make his move, it would be tonight, I knew it.

"Then why don't you make me regret it." The words hissed through my clenched jaw before I turned to the door once more.

I stomped down the porch and across the grass, halfway through the yard I broke into a run. My feet pounded the ground as I gained momentum. I felt like I was flying through the woods and I let my anger fuel my speed. It was full dark out now, but I was glad for the night's shadows and shelter.

The woods flew by me in a blur of brown, black, and greens but somehow I wasn't comforted like I normally was in the twilight forest. Thoughts of James kept creeping in my head but I beat them back as best I could. Despite my efforts, his words echoed through my mind, and the boiling emotions I had glimpsed before he had shut me out still scorched me, burning my insides.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I collapsed against the foot of an old tree, which had long ago relinquished its leaves. A sob escaped my throat before I even realized I was fighting tears. I hadn't cried for years and the burn behind my eyes felt alien. I leaned my head back against the bark and closed my eyes, sealing in the rain that was trying to escape. I felt the cold trail as one sole tear ran down my cheek, but none followed. A whirlwind of thoughts circled around in my mind, all of which contained James, all of which deepened the pit of tearing betrayal in my chest.

The longer I sat there, allowing the gravity of the night's events to sink in, the more my anger turned to grief. The grief of losing the future I thought I had with the Clan, the pain of realizing everything was ruined, and even the ache of losing James, or at least what I had thought James was. The fact that he would most likely kill me hardly even seemed to matter. I had nothing anyways, again.

I felt my nails dig into my palms as I balled my hands into fists, forcing my sorrow and pity down. No. I wouldn't give up. I would fight until I truly had nothing left, and if by some miracle, James' thoughts had lied, or he changed his mind and decided to let me live, then I would learn about my powers and heritage on my own. I didn't need the Clan. I wouldn't go down as one of his little followers, as weak, as some sort of pet of the Clan's making.

Slowly I pushed myself up from the tree, I still had my knife on me and I opened it as I steeled my resolve. The feeling of its familiar handle pressing against my palm made me feel slightly better. The blade reflected in the low light and its thin edge comforted me like a friend's smile. I flipped it over my knuckles a few times, relishing the consistency of its weight.

"Nice trick. Ready to apologize yet?"

I looked up from the blade at the sound of James' smooth voice. He stood ten yards off, in the t-shirt and damp jeans from the kitchen. Blue and white wisps licked up and down his arms at his sides and it took me a moment to realize what they were...flames. Thin wires flipped and fell over his forearms and jumped between his fingers. I could feel the air sizzling and crackling with his power, but I refused to show fear.

"Apologize to my murderer? To the one pretending to be my pair, my leader, all the while planning my death? I don't owe you a damn thing. I trusted you and you betrayed me. So go ahead, kill me."

In my mix of emotions, I threw my weapon down, realizing that despite my big talk, I didn't actually want to fight James. No matter how I denied it, no matter how much I loathed the idea of dying without a fight, of being weak, I cared for James. Even if it had all been fake to him, a lie, that didn't mean it was for me.

"I won't give you the satisfaction of a fight. I won't give you the justification of being able to say you were defending yourself or that I was trying to escape. No, you'll have to kill me in the cowardly way you had planned. Murdering someone who won't fight back, who doesn't have a reason to. Someone who trusted you." I raised my arms out to my sides in a final show of my lack of resistance.

James stalked forward until I was within his reach. And just as I expected, his arm shot out and I felt his hand close around my throat.

"Your trick isn't going to work, playing the victim like some kind of martyr." He spat the words as he shoved me back until I was pinned against the tree. The wrath in his voice was almost enough to shake my resolve.

"Your act is all very good, but I know what you'll do, I've seen what you're capable of and I'm going to stop you before your nature wins. You're not one of us, you never will be, you never even could have been, you're soulless and I won't let you live to do all the things you will."

As James' words sunk in I began to feel the cold quicksand of self-loathing pull me down. He had seen a vision of me? He saw me go dark? Become the very thing I had planned on using my life to fight?

I hadn't felt self-disgust since before the Clan, the certainty that I was something evil, something wrong, but now, having proof I really was a monster, even amid monsters, all the anger I had felt for James was extinguished, leaving behind an unbearable weight. James must have seen the change in my face because his grip loosened a degree or two.

I felt my eyes burn again, but I didn't care anymore. What did it matter if I looked weak now? I was a monster, a thing of evil that shouldn't have ever been on the Earth to begin with. I had been kidding myself my whole life trying to pretend I was good or could be good, when in truth I wasn't capable of anything but horror and hate and destruction. And I had always known it in some way, deep down. I was soulless like James had said, corrupt beyond saving.

"Kill me then. If I'm a monster, you'll be doing me a favor. Just tell me, how long have you known? When did you see it? Today when you were out? Or did you already know when you found me in the woods? How long have you been keeping this from me? How long have you been lying?"

"You get no last request!" James roared in my face. He heaved me towards him before throwing me against the tree I had been pressed against moments earlier. The force from the impact left my mind swimming and I dropped to my hands and knees in front of him, black starbursts filling my vision.

"Then just do it, don't torture me by making me live, just end it and be done. I haven't hurt anyone yet, so there's no reason to draw this out."

I looked up at him and somehow the sight of him in his rage brought a slight curve to my lips. The early moonlight caught his hair and he seemed to belong in its light, he looked truly divine, like a god of the night.

"Why are you smiling?" His voice was a mixture between confusion and irritation. I debated lying, but what was the point? If these were to be the last words from my lips, they might as well be true.

"I just can't think of a better last sight than you." I sounded like I was stating a fact, and in a way I was. James was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and if this was when my end was, at least I would see beauty like his before my eyes closed forever.

The corners of James' lips twitched down into an involuntary frown for a second before his face was a mask of dark anger once more. In one fluid movement, he bent, picked up my blade from the dirt and leaves, and held it out to me, handle first.

"Here's your final mercy. Take your own life to stop your actions, to save the world from yourself. At least in your death, you can redeem yourself of the horror you would have become. And I won't have to remember you as a monster."

There seemed to be more behind James' words than he had wished, but I didn't care to try and decode him anymore, what was the point? I took the knife and sat back on my feet.

I couldn't count how many times I had considered taking my own life, but now I knew I was really going to. I had always wondered if I was a villain or a hero, and now I knew. The realization that I finally figured out who I was, and that I was doing something about it somehow calmed me and I raised the edge of the knife to my neck. I had thought of every possible means of suicide on a multitude of occasions and cutting my throat had always appealed to me for some reason, probably because of my fascination with blood.

I held James' eyes as I pressed the knife slightly into my skin. The pain was white-hot, but seeing him standing over me gave me a peace that overcame the pain and I felt a smile pull at my lips again. I met James' dark eyes and something seemed to change in them, but I was tired of trying to figure him out. I realized I was tired of fighting my nature too, of pretending I was good, of tearing myself to shreds to try and be something I could never be.

In one fast jerk, I pulled the razor edge across my neck, pushing in deep. There was one moment in which I felt hot blood pour over my hand and down my chest, into my throat, and down to my lungs...then I closed my eyes, trying to burn James' face into my mind as I waited for everything to fade away.

I heard a strange rhythm and the warmth of my blood didn't turn into the icy breath of death like I had expected, maybe dying wouldn't be so unpleasant. Maybe it wouldn't be cold like I had always imagined.

What seemed an entire night crawled by and I realized I was still breathing and an odd feeling was moving through my neck, like a soft pull. I opened my eyes to find James over me, the rhythm slowly becoming words and I realized he was saving me, chanting Angel names as his hands covered my neck. He had blood flowing from his wrist onto my throat, like he had cut himself and I almost lost consciousness just from the sight of his river of crimson.

I could feel my skin pulling and stitching itself back together and somehow it didn't seem unnatural. I didn't remember falling, but I was on my back, the faint stars painting the dark sky behind James's golden hair, the midnight blue of the expanse behind him matching his eyes perfectly. His damp hair fell in his face as he leaned over me and I wished I could pull the strength to push it back but my arms felt as heavy as iron.

Gradually my mind cleared and I remember why I was there and what had happened.

"No," I tried to cry, but it came as a mumbled whisper instead. "Stop. Let me..." I managed to gasp the words out, but James didn't seem to hear me.

The knife was still in my hand and I tried to raise it again to its destination, but James shifted his eyes to mine and I felt his presence immediately. I gasped in a wet, painful breath as his power touched mine, which must have opened at some point during my death. My gasp sounded like a moan as my back arched off the forest floor. The fire on my skin was an inferno compared to our usual encounters and I felt myself flush, which surprised me, considering most of my body's blood was now either on my chest or the browning leaves that surrounded us.

Stay still, Angel.

His voice drifted through my mind and the gentleness of it was mirrored in his eyes as he continued his healing words. I was so confused, I wanted to know why he was saving me, why he was letting a demon like me live, why he was using all the tenderness of someone who cared, but all I could muster was a weak 'why?'

I was wrong.

His words filled my head and it took me a moment to comprehend them. Wrong? I could feel myself gaining strength and the electricity I was pulling from James gave me enough power to lay my hand on his over my neck. His skin sent a tingle of power up my arm. His eyes looked darker than usual and I felt the air crackling around us. I tried one last time to pull his hand from my neck and it finally seemed like I had gotten through to him as he paused.

"Will you please stop being so damn stubborn and just let me heal you? I'm not very good at this and I need to focus. I'll explain after."

I let my hand drop from his and instead focused on the sky above us and the branches trying to blot it out. It was a clear evening, with no clouds to hold in the day's heat. I shivered as the chill from the ground I was laying on seeped into me, and James moved one hand from my neck to my stomach, the hand without the injured wrist. Immediately warmth spread through my core, extending out until it radiated through my arms and legs.

A moment later the tingling in my neck subsided and James carefully removed his bloody hand from my throat, the deep red liquid dripping from his fingertips sent a jolt of panic through me, again, but I quickly stuffed it down. He shook his hand to rid his excess blood as if it annoyed him, before wrapping his fingers around his wrist to slow the still-rapid flow.

"That's the best I can do, I never was very good at healing. If Kael was here..." His words drifted off into the still night air. The fog of my mind was still too heavy to formulate an appropriate reply.

"You'll have a scar...and it might be sore for a little while...but there doesn't seem to be any deeper damage."

As if his words gave permission to the pain, a raw burn began to grow in a thin line across my throat. I felt where the self-inflicted wound should have been with half-numb fingers and sure enough, I felt a slightly raised wire of smooth skin across the center of my neck. It felt smaller than I had expected, like I had been cut with a hair-thin razor, not my thick knife.

I stared up at the sky again, trying to arrange my thoughts.

"Missed me that quickly?" I attempted a small smile but the pain when I tried to swallow made it more of a wince.

James let out a short breath that might have been a try for a laugh, but his face was still serious.

"You changed my vision. You changed my mind." There was something in his eyes that seemed different, but I couldn't even begin to place it.

"So now I'm suddenly not a lost cause? What did you see? Both times." I tried to sound determined, but my breath still didn't seem to flow correctly, as if my lungs knew I shouldn't be alive and were resisting my second life with a vengeance.

James gave a slight smile before answering.

"I've learned many things from my Gift...one of them is that the future is better-left unknown. I've rarely seen someone react positively to knowing their path, but I can tell you that you're loyal to us, and you will always be fighting to be good. That's all I can ask. That's all any of us can do." He sounded genuine, but it was still difficult for me to believe that all my worries and fears could disappear just like that.

"Well, I see you've perfected the fortune-teller's non-answer. Congratulations." I said the words sarcastically as I finally got my voice to listen to me, but I couldn't help a smile from painting my face.

"Keep smiling, Angel. If you want a hint at your future, here it is; you'll have a hard life with us, but if you keep that smile, it will help."

There was a moment where something passed over his eyes, something gentle, more so than I had seen before, but then he stiffened slightly and it was gone. In a swift, graceful movement he stood, extending a bloody hand to help me up.

"Are you complimenting my smile?" I teased as I grabbed his arm, allowing him to haul me up.

The pain in my neck was dramatically less than moments earlier and I was surprised by how normal I felt, even a little energized. I guessed he had slipped an extra Angel name or two into his heal to give me strength.

James had an entertained look on his face as he replied.

"What, I bring you back from near-death a couple of times and suddenly you get a big head?"

"Coming from Mr. Humble over here."

We started slowly walking back towards the house and somehow all the emotion and pain of the last half-hour didn't seem real. It was the past and I wondered if I would have acted any differently if the roles had been reversed.

"Arrogance, just one of my many services." James joked back, sounding like the him from earlier, in his room.

"Are your other services similar to your whore friends?" I slid him a sideways glance and the corner of his lips curved up into a slight smirk.

"Why, you interested? Apparently, you like how I look quite a bit. But I'll warn you, I'm expensive."

I couldn't decide if the heat in my cheeks was from his flirtatious tone or the embarrassment of him bringing up my confession of his beauty when I thought I was about to die, but either way, I was glad the trees kept my face out of the moon's light for most of our walk.

"And you say I have the big head?"

I reached over and pushed his shoulder until he dodged away and batted at my hand playfully. We walked in silence for a couple of minutes, but it was a comfortable silence. The alone time was too good to pass up though and I spoke.

"So, what were you doing out tonight, really? Care to share the truth this time?"

James let out a sigh that seemed more for the exaggerated effect rather than any real need to exhale before replying.

"If you must know, I saw some things going on in the city tonight...I decided to stop them from happening. My visions have been fairly active lately." He shook his hair out as if remembering his run-in with the river. "Unfortunately, I came into more attention than I had anticipated. My river escape wasn't exactly part of the plan. I don't like being cold and wet, so night swims in early autumn aren't really my thing."

"Understandable," I replied. I had always preferred being too hot over too cold. "But I still don't get why the all-mighty James would need an escape route anyway. Who were you possibly being chased by that you couldn't take?"

James slid me a sheepish look, or as sheepish a look as a lion could give.

"Police."

I gave him a look that was a mixture of faux shock and accusation before he continued.

"I told you I had some unwanted attention and I figured jumping off a bridge was the easiest way to avoid an altercation or risk them seeing anything too unexplainable. I kept my hood up, so I doubt they got a good look at me. They probably think the fall killed me and will be dragging downriver for a body for days."

His face had mischief on it again, as if the thought of numerous cops wading through muddy, cold water searching for a nonexistent body was an enjoyable image to him. I smiled and shook my head.

"Every night's an adventure," I said under my breath.

James gave me a playful shove which I returned.

How we could possibly go from murdering each other to joking and teasing was beyond my imagination. It was strange how everything changed in a matter of minutes, but I couldn't find it in myself to be angry or even hurt. If James had thought I was going bad, then I was grateful he was willing to kill me, to stop me from becoming something I would hate.

It was strange, but everything seemed better than before, like a letting, a dam breaking and washing away so much dust and dirt, like everything was finally making sense and going well...almost too well. My stomach turned as a horrible thought crossed my mind. What if this was all an act, what if James still had some plan. I stopped walking and James turned after noticing I wasn't with him anymore.

"Let me in your mind." I tried not to sound as suspicious as I suddenly felt. I refused to show my guilt at the request either. If he had nothing to hide, then he shouldn't have any problem letting me in.

"You don't trust me?" He said evenly, his eyes on mine.

"Can you blame me?"

"I guess not."

I felt the familiar heavenly, burning sensation as he lowered his block.

"But," he said slowly, raising a hand as if to stop my Gift from advancing, "stay out of my past, my memories. Anything that doesn't have to do with my intentions toward you as a member of this Clan is off-limits. Understood?"

He sounded stern and I nodded my agreement, even though I had no idea how to access past experiences or memories, except for when I had been in Kael's mind as he thought of Ambriel, but I assumed that only worked if the person was actively thinking of their past.

I tried to focus my thoughts on James' mind like I had when I wanted to know what Kael was thinking earlier that afternoon. I didn't want to admit it, but I was still afraid I would find hate and anger, but instead, a calm wave covered me. The emotions I pulled were welcoming and protective, something similar to admiration even. There was a tense suspicion beneath it all and a wariness, but it wasn't far beyond what one would expect of an outsider.

"You don't trust me?" I echoed his earlier statement.

"Can you blame me?" He replied in suit.

I gave a short laugh at the scriptedness. "Guess not."

I turned my attention back into his mind. There was an almost unconscious focus on something I couldn't quite grasp and a deep care, loyalty, and protection to the Clan as a whole. I was surprised to find that I was included in this, in a much stronger sense than I had expected, almost like I was a friend.

"You like me," I said with a satisfied smirk.

"You're alright." James smiled a little and glanced to the ground in a way that would have looked bashful if anyone else had done it.

"Wrap it up now, Angel, you're giving me a headache." He said past a half-chuckle.

I grinned before delving back in. There was something I hadn't noticed before, but it was like looking through dirty, clouded glass, just out of focus. Whatever it was, it was dark and ran deep. Something about a man, a darkness, a hatred and...blood.

Suddenly, an image flashed in my mind, bright and violent. A woman lying motionless in a great pool of red. It stained the polished floor beneath her in an arc of crimson. My nightmare flooded back to me and I pulled back from his mind, trying to rid the memory from my own. The idea that his thoughts had somehow influenced my dreams came to me, but I didn't know if that was even possible, if pairs could share memories or aspects of memories. If we could share nightmares.

"What did you see?" James asked in a truly surprised tone, which I believed meant he was shocked I had found something that would make me react in such a way. It made me feel guilty for breaking into his private thoughts and feelings.

"I just got a little off track, that's all. I'm good though, I've seen enough." I paused, wondering if my next words were really true. "I trust you...mostly," I spoke with a smile.

James didn't return it and I knew why.

"Off track? How far off track? What exactly did you see?" He managed to sound both suspicious and disappointed and I felt my face fall.

"I'm not very good with my control yet...I saw...or felt...or whatever it is I can do..." I paused, frustrated with how my explanation was going.

"There was a man, you hate him, he's evil...and then there was blood, lots of it...there was a woman too, it was her blood...was it Ambriel?" It dawned on me that it must be her, everything came together as I voiced my realization. "The man, he's Ambriel's killer, the murderer from the city, the one you're hunting, isn't he?"

James had a slight line on his brow and I could tell he was bothered by something so I continued.

"I've seen him too. I dreamt of him, or I think it was him. I don't know how, they just...I just think they're the same. He's even been in my dreams when I'm awake. I finally saw him last time though. He's been watching me and I followed him and, there was so much blood, in the woods, it grabbed me and..." I realized I was rambling and glanced to James. He stood perfectly, eerily still, his face set in determined lines, his only movement was a muscle in his jaw as it tensed, loosened, and tensed again.

"Go on," he said in a low, controlled voice, but his eyes flashed with dark intentions. Luckily, I could tell they weren't aimed at me or the mere sight of him might have frozen his new blood in my veins.

"It sounds stupid, but you know how dreams never make sense, so just bear with me." I stopped until he gave a curt nod, acknowledging my request.

"The blood was like a quicksand and it pulled me down, it was suffocating me and I was about to faint when..." I shook my head slightly trying to remember how I had woken from my unconsciousness, "something hurt me, shocked me back, and that's when I saw him. He was standing a little ways off, tall with black hair and dark pants, he was...he was handsome. I don't know if he saw me, and I don't think I saw his face, but I knew. And then he just turned and walked away. He laughed too, an evil laugh. That's all I remember." I left out the part about speaking James' name with my last breath since it wasn't crucial for him to know.

James stood with a serious face, clearly stitching my story with his own memories and it was many seconds before he spoke.

"Where were you, in this dream?"

"I was in the woods," I replied, deciding if there was a true need for him to know the exact location, I'd tell it, but as far as I could tell, he was just gathering details, nothing concrete. "I saw feathers too...in the blood."

James seemed to have heard enough and ran his fingers through his still-damp, and now bloody, hair as he let out a frustrated breath.

"I was worried about that. I had my suspicions about the killer being a Halfling, though I hoped for something less. But if you're having prophecies of bloody feathers, it's probably a sign of stronger Angel nature."

"Wait, prophecy? Maybe it was just a dream and it doesn't mean anything." The thought of having some kind of prophetic power seemed completely unreal but James gave me a look that clearly said he wasn't convinced.

"Do you think it was just a dream?" He asked evenly.

Immediately 'no' flew through my mind, but I decided on a more conservative answer.

"I don't know, maybe," I replied in the most casual voice I could muster. James cocked his head to the side as if to say 'really?' but spoke before I could reply.

"You're the one that said Ambriel's killer is the person you saw, the one who's been watching you. I don't believe in coincidences." He leaned back on a tree and crossed his arms.

"Fine, so I have prophecies, you have visions. We should never be surprised by anything ever again." I said in a disbelieving tone. James merely chuckled.

"I wish it worked like that. Any other dreams you would like to share?"

My first dream seemed comically accurate now and a wry smile formed on my lips.

"Yeah actually, the night after I first saw you, in my store. You were chasing me, you caught me and killed me. Sound familiar?" I poignantly looked down at my blood-stained hands and shirt before jokingly glaring at him, but his face was serious again.

"Did it happen exactly like this?" His question seemed strange to me, but I answered truthfully.

"No, we were in the city and you caught me in an alley...you changed, your eyes and face, it's the only time I've seen your Shift actually, even before I knew what you were, what a Shift was. Then you dove at me, grabbed me and I woke up. But it felt like you were going to kill me."

The memory seemed strange now, and saying it out loud sounded wrong like I was missing something, but I shook the thought away. He was looking past me as I spoke, a thoughtful look on his face. He idly rubbed the outsides of his palms as he thought.

"You don't see the actual events...so definitely prophesies, not visions. Damn." He spoke quietly, almost like he was talking to himself.

"Well, sorry my dreams aren't more helpful. I didn't exactly get to choose my Gifts." I said a little defensively.

"It's not your fault, it's just that prophesies often bring more harm than help. People can see whatever they want in them. They just breed distrust and paranoia. They can be misinterpreted far easier than correctly understood. Some say only the one who sees them can ever really know what they mean, and only after they've come to pass. Not exactly helpful."

He seemed to be wary of my newfound Gift and it frustrated me that so much about myself was unknown to me. I had always had vivid dreams, was each one meant to give me a clue about my life and I had just missed them all up until now? I usually had nightmares, was that a sign of my life to come? Was every dream a prophecy? I hated not knowing so much about myself.

"So, this is yet another thing I should keep hush-hush?" I said tiredly. James gave me an apologetic half-smile and rolled his shoulders.

"You know a secret two keep is only safe if one of them's dead, maybe I should work on the security of this information." He said with a devious smirk.

"Hell, make up your mind. You either want to kill me or you don't, stop this back and forth. Indecision doesn't suit you." I said in a semi-flirtatious tone.

"Oh, and what does suit me?" His smile widened into a playful grin as he looked down at me.

The way he was looking at me gave me a light feeling in my chest but I didn't try to stuff it down this time. It was nice, it made me feel a little more human, a little less like a prophetic, telepathic monster.

I leaned forward as I pretended to think, biting the inside of my cheek until the timing was right and I had the correct angle for the momentum needed.

"Competition," I said as I locked eyes with James, a small entertained smile on my face.

In a sudden burst, I planted my palm in the center of his chest and shoved him backward, I slipped my calf behind his at the same time, sending him sprawling onto his back in the most ungraceful flailing of arms and legs I had ever seen from him. Then I took off in the direction of the house.

"Catch me if you can!" I yelled over my shoulder.

I heard an amused laugh come from where James had landed, but I didn't look back. I knew I wouldn't be able to hear him gaining on me since he was practically a ghost when he ran, so instead, I just focused on quickening the rhythm of my feet and running as fast and hard as I could. I saw pale light a little ways ahead which signaled I was fast approaching the clearing where the house resided. I hadn't exactly made the rules clear for our impromptu game of tag, but I assumed the manor was 'safe'.

I stole a look behind me and saw James winding between trees and vaulting over bushes only a few yards back. Even over my heavy breathing and the sound of my own footsteps, I could hear him this time. I was relieved to know he wasn't completely silent, it made him seem slightly more human. Slightly.

I broke the tree line into the clear night air with James fast on my heels. I heard him only a few feet behind me now, which only spurred me on faster. I looked towards the house, trying to focus on my goal when I noticed Kael and Nevaeh sitting on the front steps. Kael looked like a ghost through the haze he had billowing around him. He seemed to be giving chain-smoking a new meaning.

Even from my distance I could see a look of horror on his face as he saw what he must have assumed was me running for my life from James, my front soaked in blood as I tore towards them. I almost found his misconception comical, considering that this was simply a friendly game of tag, not an act of violence. A flash of bruised pride ran through me next that Kael thought I would run from a fight, but I shook it off as I focused on my goal of the porch.

My moment of humor was quickly discarded as the sensation of falling overtook me. I saw the ground rising up to meet me and braced for a hard landing, but instead of the expected impact, I was turned and landed on James' chest. We rolled over each other in a cloud of dirt and torn-up grass before he ended on top of me, pinning me down. James had a playful close-lipped smile on his face which almost looked like a normal person's, but there was still a sharp glint underneath, something more than mere competitiveness, like a predator that was pleased it had caught its prey.

"Tag, you're it," he said breathlessly.

I had never seen James pant before and he reminded me of a dog a little as his shaggy hair hung above me. I felt laughter bubbling up in me and I let it out easily. James' smile widened slightly, showing a sliver of bright teeth and the hardness in his face lessened. I glanced towards the house as I felt a small earthquake rumbling our way, but at the sound of my laughter, Kael slowed his run, unbridled bewilderment on his face.

"You're...laughing?" He directed at me before shifting his eyes to James, "And you're smiling...sorta. The living fuck is going on?" He sounded irritated for the first time I had ever witnessed.

James looked up from me to Kael, who was now towering over us like a tree, his arms crossed over his burly chest.

"It was just a little misunderstanding, we worked it out."

James' words sounded casual, trying for trivial, but I saw a quick flash of guilt in his eyes. I nudged his leg on mine to get his attention and when he looked down at me I gave him a reassuring small smile. He nodded as if to acknowledge my kindness, but his eyes still fell to the scar on my neck before he pushed off the ground to stand. He reached down and helped me up for the second time that evening as Kael stood with a dumbfounded look on his usually happy face.

Nevaeh sashayed up to us with a pouty, disappointed downturn to her full lips.

"Oh, you're still alive, so I guess you made up." She crossed her arms and paused for a moment before continuing.

"Great," she said flatly. "Well, at least you took it outside, I'd hate for you to bleed everywhere...again." She sneered.

I took a step forward but James stuck an arm out and halted me.

"Don't pick a fight, Nev, she's feistier than you may think." His voice had his usual teasing air, but there was warning evident underneath.

Kael finally seemed to recover and come to his pair's aid.

"What she meant to say was that at least you guys didn't break anything. Remember our first fight?" He looked at me and I was glad to see his puppy-like demeanor was back. "James and I took out the whole back window during our first spat...I used to be a bit of a hothead." He sounded apologetic but his smile said he was proud of the fact.

"Still are," James said with a grin as he gave his friend a good-natured push.

"Psh, me? I'm as docile as a lil' old lady now, you're the one with the attitude problem." Kael clutched his hands to his chest in an innocent pose as he spoke, batting his eyes at me as if to convince me of his saintly nature.

"I like my attitude," James mumbled in faux-defense.

"That makes one of us," Nevaeh muttered under her breath, just loud enough for us to hear. Kael shot her a sideways glance which she skillfully ignored. He turned his attention back to James when his warning look didn't seem to have an effect on Nev.

"You also like boring-as-death books, Russian vodka, and depressing-as-shit music...and don't even get me started on where you'd keep the thermostat if it was up to you! Plus, you're the strangest mix between a hedonist, sadist, and masochist I've ever met." Kael smiled sweetly at his brother, who merely smirked back, looking mischievous as ever.

Kael's eyes moved to me and slowly took in my bloodstained gear, the gore streaking my neck and the leaves and dead grass I could feel crinkling in my hair.

I looked to James and was slightly entertained by his similar appearance. He didn't have nearly as much blood on him but his arms and hands were a burnt ruby color, and his wrist still had a slow leak of blood coming from where he had cut himself. His hair looked even messier than usual and he had some dirt on his face as well as his shoulder where we had made initial impact with the ground when he tackled me.

"So, what the actual fuck happened?" Kael finally asked after he had apparently had enough time studying our disheveled appearances.

Just as I was trying to decide how to answer, and just how much to say, the familiar burn ran over my skin, meaning James was opening his mind to mine.

Vague truth good enough for you?

His smooth words ran through my head and I gave a slight nod, relieved I didn't have to decide on a response.

"I had a vision about her but because her Gift is getting stronger I couldn't keep my...ah, let's call them concerns...from her as well as I'd expected. She misinterpreted my feelings and reacted accordingly. She's spirited so things escalated quickly, but then I saw something that changed my mind...and we patched things up, so to speak."

His explanation made me crack another small knowing smile, especially the hint at the truth in 'patched things up', 'things' meaning my slit throat.

Kael looked me up and down before apparently deciding he didn't care or really didn't want to know that badly as long as everything was fine now. He threw his arms up in the air in exasperation as he spoke.

"At least you didn't break that window, that thing was a bitch to replace." Kael paused for a moment, seeming to really see James for the first time.

"Wait, why are you out of breath? I've seen you run way harder without breaking a sweat. You losing your edge, old man?" He teased.

"I wanted to be fair, so I didn't use any Angel names or my power in our little game of tag, that's all. I'd like to see you sprint a mile after healing someone from near-death without using Afriel, or the Winds...not even Forcas. Hell, I didn't even use any of my Shift. And I needed some help with her heal too, so," he held his wrist up, showing the gash, "I was already feeling pretty drained even before our race. You wouldn't have even been able to get close to her, brother. She's quick." He replied, sounding jokingly defensive.

"Of course she's quick, she's an Air. I'm smart enough to not get into a game of tag with the wind. It would be like me going against my little Nevvie." Kael beamed over at his partner, looking like he had just paid her the biggest compliment of her life.

"I always beat Nev, though," James said with a cocky smirk.

Nevaeh was still standing in a stiff stance with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at me. She let out an annoyed breath before turning on her heel and stalking off toward the house. I watched her go for a couple of seconds before a brisk wind reminded me that I was soaked and getting chilled, the heat from James' power long gone.

"Well, I guess I still have training tonight. Nine o'clock, right? That's got to be soon." All I wanted was to get inside and out of my sticky, smelly clothing.

"You sure? We can just pick back up tomorrow." Kael said in an affectionate tone like I was a child who had fallen off their bicycle.

"Thanks, but I'd rather get as full a day as I can in...just let me shower first," I said with a glance at my clothes for unneeded emphasis.

Kael nodded before replying. "You both should. Y'all look like a fucking dumpster fire."

James shoved Kael again and tried to wipe some of my bloody grime on him before we all headed inside.

I technically didn't lie. Merely mislead you, my dears. She did die. Mostly. And for the second time too...I'm beginning to think she might not make it very long in the big, bad, real world...

But hm, what an interesting turn of events. Did James really have a vision, or two? Or is something else at play here? What did he read? WHEN WILL WE KNOW!? Well, when will YOU know, I already do, of course.

Comment, vote, share, call me & breathe creepily into the phone, whatever you're into.

T