A/n: Tw for mentions of suicide.

The worst mistake you'd ever made was falling in love with someone who was already dead. You met the redhead several years back by pure chance while she was undercover at ball for a soul collection. It was when she pushed you out of the way of a falling chandelier to save you from an early death that sparked up the friendship. Soon what friendship turned to a very clear mutual romance. But there was a problem, she was already dead.

A grim reaper stays the age they died for eternity. Grell would forever be in the body of a 27ish year old woman, even though she'd been around four hundreds of years by now. And you? You were still human. You'd age, you'd wither and eventually die.

Both you and Grell knew it'd never work out between you. You'd grow old, you wouldn't be able to keep up with her as she stayed young. And eventually, you'd die. And she'd continue to live her afterlife. It hurt the both of you deeply that you couldn't make things work because of that.

That was until you found out how reapers were made. Suicide.

Grell never told you, you found out via another reaper you'd run into. She knew that if she told you, you'd be inclined to take your life just to be with her forever. And she wanted you to live a full, healthy life. There was a catch to being a reaper, you had to work to the point of exhaustion for centuries until you were forgiven and allowed to live the rest of your immoral afterlife as you pleased. It was rare to be forgiven as well, very few reapers get that privilege.

And so you and Grell continued to exist as a human and a reaper as friends who wished for more, but knew it'd never work. She continued to hide it the way she died from you so you'd not make the same mistake. Of course she wanted to be with you for eternity, but she also didn't want you to make the same mistake she did.

"Well, that's it for me today! I'll be off then"

"What? You got less souls? Unfair"

Ronald just shrugged at the redhead and gave her a teasing look.

"Maybe if you didn't misbehave so much the higher ups wouldn't have it out for you" Ronald replied.

"Shut up, they'll have it out for me no matter what. They're just privileged assholes anyway..." Grell sighed.

Taking her ledger from her pocket she flipped though the pages looking for the next soul.

"Oh, only one more. Guess I'm doing better than I thought tod-"

She froze, starring down at the final page in the days ledger. I'm an instant her whole body filled with dread and the world seemed to shatter around her.

(Y/n) (l/n), suicide.
Gunshot wound to the head, 10:43pm.

"Grell? Hello? Earth to Grell?" Ronald spoke.

"I have to go" Grell panicked, stuffing the ledger back in her pocket and picking up her chainsaw.

"What? No goodbye?"

"No time I have to go, NOW"

Ronald watched her run off at top speed, clearly distressed and didn't have a clue what was the big deal. But he let her go, figuring it best not to interfere. Plus his shift was over anyway.

Grell had never run so fast in her life, let alone carrying a heavy chainsaw and in heels. She had no thought for the people around her, her only goal to get to you before you could do it. As much as she wished for a forever life with you, she wished you a proper happy life more. There was too many strings attached to being a reaper, and she'd never be able to forgive herself for being the reason you died. Even if she did get to spend the rest of eternity with you.

Pushing past people, not caring for etiquette or safety she found herself jumping over fences and almost knocking people over in the panicked rush to get to the location in the ledger.

"(Y/n) please don't, no no no!" She panicked.

In her frantic state, she managed to step on the side of her foot and crack her heel off, making her tumble to the ground and land on the bricks with a thud. Completely ignoring the pain in her now probably twisted ankle she just tore her shoes off and got back up to keep running, feeling blood from a cut on her cheek when she hit the ground trickle down her cheek.

The clock was ticking, she could see the park in the distance one second could make all the difference.

And just as she was about to make it over flowerbeds that separated the street and the park, her heart practically stopped a second time when a loud gunshot rang out in the air. Stopping in her tracks, she went cold with dread.

And then she saw it, lying face up in the middle of the stone path right in front of the place you usually met up, your body bleeding out and lifeless. She was too late.

"No... no! (Y/n)!" She screamed, dropping everything and running over, skidding to her knees and picking up your body.

"(Y/N)! DON'T DO THIS! WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP THIS IS A MASSIVE MISTAKE!"

Your blood staining her clothes, and tears starting to well up in her eyes, next to the gun in your hand was a folded up paper in pink. Picking it up she opened it, seeing red ink and only a few sentences.

She knows why I did this, it will hurt her at first. But I cannot bare right leave her behind in the future. This is for us, for our eternity, one day she'll understand. I'm sorry Grell.

But I love you too much, my gorgeous girl.

-(y/n)

Starring down at the note, and then at your body that was beyond saving, her heart shattered knowing exactly why you'd done this. For her.

And now she had to be the one to reap your soul, and fill out your paperwork, waiting for you to show up as a reaper trainee.

"You idiot... you beautiful idiot..." she sobbed.

Breaking down and sobbing into your lifeless chest, the worlds most pained cried echoed through the night. The passer by's stopped and watched, able to realise what has just happened and that this redheaded girl was too late to save someone she cared about.

All the humans around her could do was watch, find a police officer and undertaker to take care of the body and hope that the redhead would be able to grieve the loss.

Hours passed, she stayed there sobbing over your body. Well past her shit ending and when she didn't come back with the days reports of souls a fellow reaper was sent out to find her as usual.

Although usually when Othello was sent out to find the late returning reaper she was off gate crashing a ball, the phantomhives or something. He wasn't expecting to find her sobbing over a body that had been dead for hours now and slowly going into rigor mortis.

At first he didn't know what to do, he'd never seen Grell like this before. Her prised chainsaw thrown aside so careless, her heels broken and thrown on the grass. Her ankle swollen and clearly injured. And of course, the tears as she buried her face into this persons dead chest.

"Hey... you don't usually get upset over collections..." Othello said.

Grell didn't reply, just held up the paper and when Othello took it and read the note, he understood what was going on.

"Fucking hell..." he mumbled under his breath, not expecting such a dramatic and heavy situation.

"They did this because of me... I wanted to spend forever with them but not at this cost. I always told them not to do anything stupid but..." Grell said, a sad twinge in her voice.

"You really have it bad for this one huh? Messing with humans is always a bad idea... although this... hasn't happened before" Othello replied.

He ducked down next to her, looking at the body. Now it was drained of blood and pale, muscles starting to stiffen, blood beginning to dry. Grell was a mess, covered in blood, running makeup, tears and grass stains. Her ankle clearly injured and swollen, starting to show bruises. Her glasses hanging around her neck by the chains and stained with makeup. That cut on her cheek covered with dried blood.

"Bloody hell you're a right mess. Look I know this is... bad. But at least you'll get to see them again in few days as a reaper, right?" Othello said.

"That's not the point! Of course I'm glad to see them but I'm wracked because they made such a big mistake all because of me! They felt the need to sign the contract of being a reaper forever with so many strings attached, shot themselves and doomed themselves to work forever collecting souls because of me! The higher ups treat us horribly I don't want them to have to endure that too! This is my fault, this is all my fault..." she sobbed.

"Hey, it's complicated. Very complicated. But I'm sure they'll talk it out with you when they show up at dispatch. But right now... we need to collect that soul..."

She didn't want to have to do it, to have to slash her own lover open with her scythe. But it had to be done.

Weakly getting up, and limping on her injured ankle she picked up her chainsaw and had to perform the hardest collection of her afterlife. When the cinematic reels were released form your body and swirled around the reapers your whole life played out before them. Including that life changing moment were Grell pushed you away from that falling chandelier.

She could barley look at it, she'd saved your live only to cut it short later on.

But what's done was done. The soul was collected, paperwork stamped and now she had to walk away from the body of her lover and wait for an undertaker to show up in the morning and collect it.

"Come on, let's get back. You need to take a long hot shower and get your ankle looked at... they'll talk to you as soon as they arrive. I know they will" Othello said.

Taking one last look at your bloodied and lifeless body, she turned away with her stuff and with the help of Othello holding her weakened body up, had to leave.

You'd show up in a few days, as a reaper. No doubt about it. And she had no idea what to say to you.