Izuku jumped up with a start, his head pounded and tears streamed down his face. His room was dark, much too dark. His All Might memorabilia was casted in shadow almost making it look twisted. The smile that usually lit up the figure's features seemed to darken the atmosphere.

He could almost picture his nightmare still; Ochako breathing heavily before the light dimmed in her brown eyes. Before she closed them in his arms. The greenette shook the thought from his mind as he got up.

His footfalls were silent as he made his way to the bathroom, switching on the light; he saw the damage done by his reoccurring nightmare.

His reflection looked so tired, so broken, nothing like the hero persona of the Deku who could do it, he looked more like the Deku Kacchan had thought him to be.

As he cried to his reflection, it almost began to speak, a sadistic cynical smile painting it's features. It was a stark contrast from the bright boy he was in the morning.

You couldn't even save her in your dreams, what makes you think you can help her in any way now?

Izuku squeezed his eyes shut, stop, stop, stop, stop he brought up his palms and squeezed at his temples. You're better than this.

Don't lie to us now, you've always been useless Deku, you think about it all the time. You don't deserve any of your friends, you don't deserve your quirk, and you definitely don't deserve your idol mentoring you. Remember, you'll always be Useless Deku.

"That's not true," he sniffled murmuring quietly. He opened his eyes, staring back at his now 'normal' reflection. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were stained with tears.

He didn't know when, but at one point he had reached down and turned on the faucet. Cold cool clean water soaked his hands, and he soon found him self rubbing at his eyes. Washing away the tears and any remnants of them.

Carefully, quietly, the greenette made his way back to his bed, he knew he'd continue to see Ochako's lifeless eyes. However he'd be better prepared this time.

~♧~

Mr. Aizawa was talking, Izuku was sure of that, but his voiced was muffled. Both by Izuku's lack of sleep and the voices in his head drowning out whatever hero stuff Aizawa was lecturing about.

Of course, his strange behavior didn't go unnoticed by Aizawa. Although he was objectively mad at Izuku for not paying attention; he also knew that Heroics was his favorite class, so for him not to pay attention meant he was thinking about something much more important. So the erasure hero left him be.

Aizawa, however, wasn't the only one who noticed Izuku acting strangely. The newly dubbed 'Dekusquad' also picked up on the greenette's strange behavior, and of them none were more worried then Ochako Uraraka.

Glancing at him from the opposite side of the classroom Ochako bit her lip in worry. She was sure at this point her lip was probably bleeding but that probably was nothing compared to what Izuku was most likely going through.

The brunette sighed and diverted her attention back to the board, deciding she'd probably confront him after class.

~♧~

The bell rung, but Izuku didn't hear it, he wasn't focused at all. He was tired god he was so tired. He was going through too many nights without sleep, he concluded.

Glancing around he finally noticed his classmates were packing up to go back to the dorms. The bell probably rang he numbly realized as he got up; the motion was slow, as if he was fighting against chains that kept him held down to his desk.

He barely registered the feeling of someone tugging at his uniform.

"Hey, Deku?" came the kind voice of Ochako Uraraka, "are, are you okay?" her voice was nervous, soft, a stark contrast to her confident bubbly tone.

Taking a deep breath he plastered a smile onto his face, it was clearly fake but it'd have to do. The last thing he wanted to do was worry Uraraka.

"Yeah, I'm, I'm fine," his voice came out as more of a croak from misuse.

"Deku, we're friends aren't we? You can trust me with your problems, I'm here to listen y'know?" Uraraka looked up at him hopefully, a small comforting smile graced her lips. "You don't even have to talk to me about it, it's just, me you and Iida promised, remember? I don't want another Stain incident...," her smile faltered and her eyes watered slightly, but only for a moment.

Izuku bit his lip, hoping the pain would distract him from the stinging in his eyes. She was right, they had promised.

"Are we gonna talk about it?"

"About what Uraraka?" Izuku tilted his head slightly, Iida hand-chopped nervously.

"About Stain," her face hardened, "y'know, I feel like we need to have something in place to prevent this stuff," Uraraka thought for a moment, "I know!" she lifted her hand palm towards the middle of their circle and fingers extended and closed her eyes, "I solemnly swear on my love of Mochi tell one of you, or both of you when something is wrong," she opened her eyes then pointed to the two boys, "your turn!"

Izuku copied Uraraka's motions, hand raised eyes closed, "I swear on," he opened his eyes, thought for a moment then closed his eyes and resumed the chant, "on all of my all might merch to tell one or both of you when something is wrong," Uraraka giggled quietly and they both turned to Iida.

Iida smiled and copied his two other friends "I swear on my duties as class rep to inform one or both of you in the event that something unfortunate happens," Izuku and Uraraka laughed, hands clutching their stomachs smiling as Iida opened one eye smiled then laughed with them.

Izuku blinked as Uraraka tugged on his sleeve again, grounding him to the here and now.

"C-Can we talk about this later?" he looked down at her, eyes pleading. The brunette bit the inside of her cheek, before sighing quietly.

"Okay, but promise you'll tell me what's wrong? Or at least tell Iida?" Izuku could see that she wasn't going go to leave him alone, and that she wasn't going to let him get away easy.

"I will," he promised, a small reassuring smile quirked his lips upward.

~♧~

Ochako was heavy in his arms, not because she was heavy, but more because he felt like he was about to give out. Her face, normally bright, was dull, the color in her face drained, even her normally pinkened cheeks lacked color.

"De-ku?" she looked up at him, eyes so dull, so dead, her hand cupping his face, "it's gonna be okay," she gave him a weak smile before her hand dropped limply and her eyes began to glaze over.

Izuku jolted upward and screamed. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks as a small voice in his head taunted him for his ineptitude.

You'll never save anyone, you're useless, just useless Deku who can't do anything

Izuku's eyes burned, his throat hurt, his nails were digging too deep into his thighs, but he didn't notice, he just kept screaming; kept screaming till his throat was raw and scratchy, and he couldnt scream anymore.

Finally he grounded himself, tears still rolled down his face but he was calm, he was fine. It was okay he'd be okay--

You're lying to us again, but you're not only lying to yourself you're lying to her, you told her you were okay, and you promised that you'd tell her what was wrong, you're a coward and a liar.

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, maybe it was because he missed her soft brown hair, maybe it was because he was tired of that stupid voice being right, or maybe he was just feeling selfish. Whatever it was, he found himself silently tip-toeing over to the elevator.

As he silently made his way to the elevator he attempted to stay as quiet as possible. Noticing as an afterthought how far away the elevator seemed, but soon he was standing in front of the metal shiny metal box. Sucking in a breath he pushed the 'up' button and waited for the elevator arrived.

The greenette rubbed his bare arms, realizing that walking here barefoot wasn't the best idea, the floor was cold and it sent shivers up his spine. The cold seemed to wake him up a bit, as he realized his eyes were probably red and puffy and he probably looked like a nightmare. Besides what was he doing anyway? He couldn't just appear at Uraraka's dorm room unannounced. She'd probably think he was weird, and if she heard him out she'd probably think he was pretty stupid and kinda lame for letting something so insignificant get to him. However, Izuku was stubborn, he already made it this far after all. Besides, he just really wanted to see that she was okay.

The elevator's quiet ding pulled him from his thoughts. He quietly made his way into the elevator, the carpet was at least warmer then the floor.

~♧~

The ride up and walk to Uraraka's room was a blur as he soon found himself in front of her door. He brought his hand up to knock, tears already blurring his vision as he remembered the limp Uraraka in his arms, but before knocking he heard something. It was quiet and he certainly wouldnt have been able to hear it had the dorms been awake and bustling, but it was there. It sounded like uneven breathing and pain, oh so much pain. It sounded like crying, soft, quiet, crying. Izuku almost went back to his room before remembering, she promised too.

He knocked on the brunette's door quietly, and heard her gasp quietly before he heard shuffling. He heard water, presumably coming out of a faucet, and then shuffling coming towards the door.

The door creaked quietly as it opened to reveal a sleepy Uraraka. Her nose was a bit red and he could almost trace her tear tracks with his eyes. It made the reality of her being alone and crying all the more real.

"Hey," she whispered quietly, "I had a feeling it was you."

Her image began to blur as tears started to build up again. Before he knew what was happening he was desperately hugging her like his life depended on it. His hands dug into her shirt. His face was pressed into the nook where her neck met her shoulder. On any normal day they would've both flushed red and jumped back, apologies spewing out of their mouths. Yet now, Uraraka just hugged back just as hard.

Izuku barely registered that they were both crying, their silent sobs filled the dorms; Uraraka was shaking in his arms as heart wrenching sobs wracked through her, Izuku guessed he was no different.

He barely noticed when their legs gave way; as they just sat on the ground in the entrance of Uraraka's dorm, sobbing in each others arms. Their bodies were flush against each other as they held the other tightly. Like they were their life line, the only thing that kept them from floating out into the sea of self loathing.

"I-I, I dreamed you died," came her voice, soft and scratchy. "You died in my arms and all I could do was watch, you were screaming so much, oh god Izuku you...," she hiccuped quietly letting out another son "Izuku you screamed and called out to me but there was nothing I could do, nothing I could do," she cried again her body shook, "Overhaul, he took you apart like, l-like, like a doll, slowly tearing your limbs apart, and I just watched, oh god Izuku all I could do was watch," she stopped talking and opted to just crying into his shoulder again.

Izuku barely even registered the use of his first name, as he was immediately filled with the need to reassure and protect the sobbing girl in his arms.

"O-Ochako?" his voice was quiet almost unhearable from all the screaming earlier, "hey Ochako?" she pulled away slightly, but only to look up at him, brown eyes wide in panic, tears still pooling out of them. His heart panged, "its okay, I'm right here, it's okay," he pulled her close and patted her hair, rubbing circles into the small of her back. It was so unusually intimate, but it didn't matter, he could apologize in the morning.

"I know, I know you're okay, but Deku," she was back to using his nickname, and for some reason, that hurt, "it felt so real, and knowing it could have been real I--" she didn't continue, didn't need to continue.

"I am here, I'm always going to be here, it's okay," he whispered quietly. Uraraka was quiet for a moment, before she pulled away again and looked up at him. There was still tear tracks on her face but she had stopped crying.

"Deku, are you okay? There's no way you came here because you heard me crying, and please don't tell me it's nothing, cause it's not," her eyes were wide and pleading as she searched his face for any indication of what was wrong.

Izuku let out a strangled sob as Uraraka's appeared to loose it's color, her eyes were dull, she was dying, she was dying, do something, do something, do something, save her, save her, save her. He had no idea when but his breathing picked up and Uraraka was hugging him close rubbing his back and petting his hair.

"It's okay, it's okay, hey, Izuku, it's okay, sh-sh," she whispered, "you can tell me, it's okay, it's gonna be okay."

"You died too," he said finally, tears blurred his vision and he squeezed them shut and hugged tighter. "You died, and I couldn't save you, and I'm never gonna be able to save anyone, and I can't do anything, I'm useless, just useless Deku, Kacchan was rig--" she tugged his sleeve, grounding him for the third time that day.

"You're wrong, just absolutely wrong," her voice was hard, immovable, like a rock, "I'm not dead, and you've saved so many people, Eri would still be being tortured and exploited if it weren't for you, and Kouta would be dead, heck, you even helped save Bakugo, and me! You're not useless at all, and don't you ever, ever, think that about yourself!" She smiled at him, through all the sadness, she was beaming, like a beacon of hope shining light for Izuku to find his way, where he had no idea, but he'd follow that smile to the ends of the earth. He flushed, it was stupid, but the praise and her smiling did something weird to his heart. Then she seemed to remember something and she beamed brighter, "do you remember what is said about your nickname?" Her smile got even wider.

Izuku didn't even have to think before he responded, "that it sounds like 'you can do it'?"

She nodded, "I meant it y'know? When you saved me during the entrance exam, it changed my life, even when everyone else was running and hiding, you saved me, you can do it, you can save people, and you already have, and do everyday!" she smiled brighter, and Izuku's already pinkened cheeks flushed darker.

They stayed like that for a while, staring into each others eyes, smiles quirked their lips upward as they hugged. At some point Uraraka moved to sit in his lap, but he hardly noticed. Soon they were laughing, hysterically giggling as they pressed their foreheads against the other, hands intertwined.

"I love you so much, so, so much," came her whisper, Izuku beamed at her, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest hearing that. It was at that moment, inspired by Uraraka's words that he finally realized I really love her. He started laughing again, before kissing her, her lips were soft and tasted like strawberries. As soon as he kissed her, he pulled away.

He had no idea where his sudden confidence was coming from, but he relished in it. Ochako blinked at him before blushing, tips of her fingers gingerly touching her lips.

"I love you too"