I spend the rest of the day in bed. In the evening, Bruce comes in and smiles at me.
"How are you?"
I shrug. My back still hurts and I feel bruises on my sides. But it is more comfortable to move now, even if it's hard. "Getting better, I guess."
"That's good", he answers. "Do you think you can come down for dinner?"
I try, and when I have problems getting up, he helps me and conducts me to the kitchen. Thor is setting the table and smiles at me.
"Hey (y/n), it's great that you are feeling better! Today's food is roast meat with a lot of vegetables. Even if you don't really like them, I am sure some of them will be to your liking."
I nod and give a smile back, then Bruce helps me to sit down. The other Avengers trickle into the kitchen, Tony being the last one.
I throw a careful look at him, but he avoids my glance and makes great effort to chat with Clint and Bruce about his inventions. Through the meal, I find something strange, but I can't pinpoint what. Not until the dessert (chocolate pudding again, with strawberries) I realize that it's the atmosphere, it feels like no one is missing. A sad sting in my belly, and I try to focus on eating.
When we are waiting for Steve to finish, I ask Bruce if I can sleep in my room tonight.
"No, I would rather know you near the medical devices, in case something happens", he answers. "Not that I expect that. Don't worry. Maybe tomorrow you will be fine enough to sleep in your own bed."
I am slightly uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in the medical room, but I nod. Bruce is the doctor after all.
The others clean up the table and Natasha gets up to conduct me back to the medical room.
"But aren't we going to make an effort to find Loki?", I blurt out.
Everyone pauses and I blush and stare at the tabletop.
"It's just ... you are all acting like nothings wrong, and he could lie in some corner and suffer from his injuries. Or ... I don't know, it doesn't sit well with me."
Natasha and Steve exchange looks.
Steve takes a deep breath and straightens his back. "I know everything here is new for you, and it may seem weird that we just let him go like that. But it is also his choice where he wants to go and if he doesn't want to come back, we wont run after him."
I see Tony looking at me, and him not apologizing or saying anything makes me angry. "But you didn't even ask him, how do you know it is even really his choice?! Sometimes you are acting like you actually don't want him here!"
The last sentence is directed at Tony, who stares angrily back at me.
He points a finger at me. "You are on very thin ice", he hisses.
"Tony, you are too", Steve gives back and raises both hands. "I know Thor and Bruce already talked to you about this, and we know this is hard for you. But this is the decision we made and we will stick to it." He raises his eyebrows at me and waits for my acception.
"Okay", I grumble. I am not in a position to create that much conflict, especially not when nobody agrees with me. "Sorry", I add. But only to smoothen the situation. I don't know what to do about it, but I am definitly adhering to my point. All I can do is ...
I swallow and concern rises in me. All I can do is hoping Loki comes back.
"Let me bring you back to the medical room", Natasha says with a friendly smile.
I nod and she helps me to get up.
"We will find a way to stop these monsters", she tells me in a reassuring tone. "And Loki will come back. It will all be less bad than you expect."
I nod again and try to smile back, hoping I don't come across as impolite. She just wants me to be better.
"It is hard to be a fighter", she continues. "But I am sure that you will live up to that, and you can count on us. Just ask if you need something."
"Thank you", I say and wonder if she ever told Loki that.
She smiles. "You're welcome."
Soon I am back in my bed. The lights go out and I see the street lamps from outside shining through the curtains.
I hope Loki is well.
And with that last thought, I fall asleep.

The next morning, I feel better and worse at the same time. My body seems to recover from the exhaustion of yesterday but the bruises are thriving. I groan and open my eyes.
Daylight shines into the room. The clock says 9:58 a.m. and next to it a post-it is placed:

Good morning,
we are at training, but I will check on you from time to time. I wanted to let you sleep to recover. Please don't leave your bed before I checked on you.
Bruce

I roll my eyes. Don't leave your bed. Could be my new life motto. I look out the window and stretch myself to test my body limits. My joints still hurt, additional to my back and the bruises.
It doesn't take long for Bruce to show up, he palpates my side one more time and announces that I am free to go sit or lay in a different room. Just not too much efforts and certainly no training.
I ask him if Loki is back and Bruce says no. The uncomfortable feeling I have since he ran away grows. I know Thor said he expects Loki to be away for some time, but ... I sigh. Time to get up.
As soon as I stand on my own feet, I feel how fragile I am. I carefully put one foot in front of the other and walk over to the training area. I knock at the door of Gym 1.
"Come in!", Thor's booming voice greets happily.
I shyly enter and close the door behind me. Thor and Natasha grin at me, limbs in a knot and both sweaty with messy hair.
A smile flashes over my face. "You two are training together?"
"Yeah", Natasha answers while Thor struggles to get out of her grip. "We thought it would be good to mix the partners from time to time."
I hesitate. "I am not interrupting, right?"
"Absolutely not!", she beams while Thor groans and struggles harder. I am sure I hear a muffled 'I hate this!'. "Sit down there, you can watch us! Must have been boring in the medical room." Natasha points at the wall.
I nod thankfully and sit down on the gym mats. They continue training, and I let my thoughts wander while I watch. Soon I want to train too, but I can't, and that brings me back to Loki and his disappearance.
Shortly before noon, I just can't help it and excuse myself. I walk to our bedrooms, still wobbly on my legs. Originally, I had planned to go to my room, but in hindsight ...
I grin and slip into Loki's room. The door clicks shut and I let my eyes wander around the room. Lime green walls, daylight shining into the room through the one window on my right. The bedsheets are scrunched and a single hairbrush lays on the ground.
I smirk. Seems like he has been woken up from the alarm yesterday morning and making himself ready wasn't as easy and quick as he wanted it to look like. Sadness pinches me as I am thinking about him not being able to come back here.
I shove it away. I came here to be happy, for heavens sake. I walk over the carpet and pick up the hairbrush. A few long, black hairs stick out of it. I smirk again. On the wardrobe left to the door is a big mirror. I place myself in front of it, and as I look at the hairbrush again, a sudden hint of rebellion hits me. I comb my hair until its nice and shiny. It almost looks like a spell on the brush made them more beautiful than they were before ... I screw up my eyes and lean closer to the mirror. Definitly.
I put the hairbrush on the nightstand and flop onto the bed. Was it weird to do that? Maybe a little bit. But I feel weird since Loki is gone, and coming here is the first thing that made me happy since that. I shrug.
Is if on cue, a few yellow sparks come out of my fingers. I chuckle and sit up against the headbord. As I lean into the pillows, a wave of Loki's perfume reaches my nostrils. The yellow sparks become more.
"Hey", I laugh. "Stay calm. We are still injured and shouldn't over-exercise ourselves."
I try to be more subtle, but the magic has other plans. I play with a spark and suddenly a beam of light comes out of my hand and burns a black spot into the white ceiling.
"Oh shoot." I stare at it with an open mouth. "Well ... we can fix that for sure ..."
I continue to practice and am careful to not produce more than one spark at a time. It is fun to play with them, and I even get it to wander through the air to the door and back. The training still drains my energy, and when I think that Bruce was maybe right about not training, I am already asleep.
A knock on the door wakes me up. I look on the alarm clock on the night stand. Time for dinner.
"Come in", I say with a raspy voice and try to wriggle out of Loki's blankets I huddled into.
The door opens and Thor pokes his head inside. "There you are. Dinner is ready, if you want."
"Thanks", I respond and try not to yawn. "But I would rather sleep some more ... if that's okay."
"Of course. I will tell the others that."
He is about to close the door when I add: "And please don't tell them where exactly I sleep, okay?"
Thor grins and winks at me. "Got it." Then the door clicks.
I blush in the dark and cover my face in my hands. Asgardians. I snicker. Always such a tease.

The next morning I feel much better. I can walk around almost without being exhausted too much, but still Bruce forbids any training. I agree and am soon back in Loki's room practicing my magic. The day rolls by without a sign of the god of mischief coming back and my uneasy feeling still doesn't fade. As long as I can't do anything about it, I train and watch the others. When it turns dark outside, I feel like pausing training.
I lay on Loki's bed, rest for a moment and let my glance wander around the room. It falls on a specific book in the shelves: His dictionary of magic.
I get it and open it at a random page. Still in Asgardian runes on yellowish paper, with little black notes scribbled into it with black ink in a chaotic but beautiful handwriting. I sigh and want to close it, then I get an idea.
After dinner, I pull Thor aside.
"Do you maybe have a book that translates Asgardian into (your/language)?"
Thor examines me. "You didn't find his diary or something, right?"
"Of course not!", I exclaim. "It's just that book that looks interesting. He read a part of it to me once."
Thor seems slightly relieved. "Oh, in this case I have the right thing for you, yes. Follow me." He guides me to his room and hands me a thick book. "Here. Take it as long as you need it."
"Thank you!", I beam and say goodnight.
I walk off to Loki's room and get comfortable in his bed. Then I open the book.
It takes very long for me to understand anything at all, and I read until deep into the night. Eventually, I have sunken into the pillows and just stare at the runes he already explained to me.

Emotional magic. Magic through roughly every emotion possible for the mortal or not mortal mind.

Telepathy. Communication through thoughts. There must be love between the magicians.

Must be ... love ... between ... love ...
The book in my hand topples onto the bedsheet as I fall asleep. The dark lulls me in and I sink into a black dream, I can't see, and I wait to lose conciousness ...
"Help", a voice reaches me from afar, like calling through a long tunnel.
I want to turn around, but in the dark velvety dream I have no body. "Who is there?"
"It's me", the voice calls and suddenly I recognize him.
"Loki, where are you?", I respond loudly. "Where are you?"
"I need help", he says like a whisper.
I still can't see anything, but a sharp pain echoes through me and I think to hear a distant scream.
"Help", Loki's voice pants. "Come alone. Don't bring anyone. Arm yourself. Help ..."
"Where are you?", I scream. "I will be there, where are you?"
But Loki doesn't answer. I try to see and to run, and I feel my body in the real world moving. "Loki!", I cry one last time while I feel the bedsheets twisting around me. "Loki!"
Then I jump awake. I open my eyes wide and stare into the dark. "Shit."