Alex-

It was November, my first year in college. Only a year after the devastating hurricane that ripped through my home town.

I could hear the rain start to patter on the windows of the the lecture hall. I could only hope that it would stay calm enough for me to get back to the dorm without any issues.

The lecture finished about fifteen minutes after the rain started, it was starting to get heavy now. I didn't want to be in a public place. I could feel the memories lapping at the edges of my mind, trying to drag me down.

Waves, taller than buildings. Trees and wood ricocheting off buildings. So much salt water. James... I could see him, he wasn't too far away... Maybe I could get to him. Maybe I could help him.

I gasped. Quickening my pace. I needed to get back to the dorm before I collapsed.

I made it to the base of the stairs. Second floor. Third floor. And finally fourth. But I couldn't quite make it to my dorm. The wave of memories brought back by some stupid rain.

The hard waves crashing me against seemingly everything. James, My friends. Everything.

Gone under the waves. I managed to get on top of one of the largest houses. I could see people struggling in the waves, people laying over boards. I could hear screams. But most of all. I could feel the wind ripping at my hair and clothes. I couldn't see far enough to know if people were alive anymore. The darkness swallowed up any chance.

Then the eye of the storm came.

The sky turned yellow and blue. Almost soft. The waves stopped. It was beautiful.

Until I looked down from my perch.

I could see the forms of people in the water. A mop of red hair caught my eye. Was that James?!? Oh God.

It can't be.

Please no.

I can't go on like this.

Then the storm came back.

This time I couldn't hear anything except the pounding of blood in my ears. No screams. No movement. Everything was gone.

I was the eye of the hurricane.

I gasped as I came back to reality. I felt completely sick. I was exhausted. Done. I could feel someone cradling my head and shoulders but I couldn't be bothered to open my eyes right now.

My head hurt like motherfricken hell. My mouth was dry, I felt like throwing up. 

I let my eyes open slowly. Adjusting to the light of the hallway.

I could hear the person mumbling under his breath.

"Alex, You're safe, don't worry, I have you, we're safe, you're safe"

I opened them a touch more to meet with the greenish hazel eyes of the one and only John Laurens. 

"oh thank god, Alex are you good for me to pick you up?" I just let out a numb nod. He scooped me up into his arms and gingerly carried me to my room.

John was my absolute best friend, there was a type of closeness between the two of us.

I just felt numb right now. 

I could barely register the movement of John putting me down onto the  couch. He went and gathered all of the blankets in our dorm and put them on top of me. I just sat there blankly. I just stared at the wall as he made me tea. 

I was blank. 

John came and sat down in front of me. I was relived that it was him who had found me and no one else.

"are you okay Alex?"

i couldn't bring myself to answer that question.  

" I'm sure I'll live,"I Tell him. He doesn't seem too happy about my answer but that was all could promise. 

"Just give me a minute," I tell him. I promptly kick off the blankets and run to the bathroom to spill out my guts. he followed me to the bathroom where I was throwing up every touch of food I had eaten within the past two days, It wasn't a lot, so I was left dry heaving. 

I felt awful.

I had never had this bad of a panic attack before, it physically hurt me.

I ended up crying on the floor with John holding me and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

I just snuggled into his side and kept on crying. I was so tired. 

I just mumbled out an I love you before falling asleep.

I could see a blush form across his face.

"Yah? Well I love you more," he said it breathlessly. It sounded beautiful and I smiled.