KAREN BY: -juniormint-

radsweetheart: To begin with, I really like this plot! I have seen a few stories similar to this and I really like the diversity in the cast. I see that it resembles Thirteen Reasons Why in a way? For example, when Jacob biked his way to the police station, it reminded me of Clay from the show. There were some punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors but with a few revisions they can be fixed easily. I felt like the story progressed way too quickly, like one moment Karen and Jacob were talking and all of a sudden he was at the police station. I think you should have let Jacob process the fact that Karen was dead and in front of him instead of jumping to conclusions so quickly. The story has a lot of potential and it intrigues me but remember to take the story slow and let it progress. I say that because, personally, I believe that the tension/suspense hooks the reader more and makes them want to keep reading! Overall, you are also very descriptive/detailed, and you can do great with this book!