MADNESS
— 9. Departure

Bjorn and Ylva were shocked when they returned to learn that Sigurd had been killed by Ivar, his own brother. Ivar had thrown an ax at Sigurd as he was blinded by his rage, killing him in the process.

At the funeral, she stood beside Bjorn, staring down at Sigurd's body uneasily.

Ubbe walked over to his brother's body and crouched down in front of it. He placed an ax down next to Sigurd's corpse and turned his head to lock eyes with Ivar, who was looking down at the ground in shame.

Freya stood beside Ivar, a hand placed on his shoulder in comfort.

Ylva sighed and looked down at the ground, a part of her feeling uneasy. She would be traveling with Bjorn soon, leaving Freya with a man who had been so willing to kill his own brother. She felt guilty but she knew she couldn't control Freya.

Freya wanted to stay and there was nothing Ylva or Bjorn could do to stop her from deciding otherwise.

____

Ivar was sitting in a tent with his brothers, Harald, and a few others, talking about the whole ordeal. Freya was not there, neither was Ylva or Bjorn.

"I know what you're all thinking," Ivar spoke up uneasily as Bjorn and Ylva suddenly entered the tent, "But it is not true! I didn't mean to kill him. He made me kill him."

Hearing Ivar's words, Ylva scoffed and exchanged a look with Bjorn, neither of them believing that to be true.

"He taunted me. He made fun of me. What was I supposed to do? What kind of a man taunts and tells lies about his own brother?" Ivar explained to them, trying to contain his guilt and sadness.

"And what lies did he tell?" Hvitserk suddenly questioned, raising a brow at Ivar.

"Well, you know that as well as I do, Hvitserk," Ivar replied as he gave his older brother a cold look.

"He said you weren't a real man," Ubbe asked, causing the group to turn to him while Ivar refused to look him in the eyes.

"And what would you have done if he had said that to you, Ubbe? What would you have done if you were 'a real man'?" Ivar questioned his brother as he stared down at the table in front of him, "What if he spoke badly about the woman you loved and kissed her right in front of you? What would you have done?"

At that moment, Ylva and Bjorn turned and exchanged a look with each other, knowing Ivar was talking about Freya.

"I swear to the gods and everything that is sacred that I never meant to kill him. Anger overcame me. And I wasn't thinking. I am truly sorry," Ivar explained as he glanced around at the group, "Freya understands that. Why can't any of you?"

There was a long moment of silence. Unable to take it anymore, Ivar picked up his helmet, climbed off his seat and crawled out of the room.

Once he was gone, Ubbe stood up, pointing his finger in the direction that Ivar had left in. "You cannot leave him in charge of the Great Army," He complained as he looked directly at Bjorn and Ylva.

"That is your affair, Ubbe," Bjorn reminded his younger brother, "You're his big brother. You take charge. I told you, this is none of our concern," He continued as he gestured to himself and Ylva.

"Ylva and I plan to return to the Mediterranean..." He trailed off as he walked over to Halfdan and placed a hand on the man's shoulder, "With Halfdan."

"Will you return first to Kattegat?" Harald suddenly spoke up, causing Bjorn to turn to give him a weird look.

"We have no intention of doing that. Our fate is too urgent," Bjorn informed Harald as he took a large sip of his cup of ale.

Ylva nodded in agreement. Though she did not have the same reasons for not wanting to stop in Kattegat.

Of course, she missed her children dearly, but she knew the truth. If she stopped to see them before returning on her journey with Bjorn to the Mediterranean, she feared she'd not want to leave them again. And it was her destiny to be at Bjorn's side as they sailed the Mediterranean. She could not let anything ruin that.

"Then I will go there," Harald suddenly decided, earning a puzzled look from Ylva.

"Will you now?" She asked him sarcastically.

"And I will tell Lagertha about the avenging of Ragnar's death and the defeat of the Saxons. And the great gift of land to our people," Harald explained and Ylva nodded in understanding.

"Tell Lagertha and my brother and my children that Bjorn and I think of them often and we shall return soon, with many stories to tell them about our travels," She explained with a sad smile on her face as she tried to contain her tears.

"Skol," Harald spoke up as he held his cup out.

"Skol," She and Bjorn repeated after him as they all clinked their mugs together.

Bjorn and Ylva exchanged a look before walking toward the opening in the tent to leave.

"And what about Freya?" Ubbe suddenly asked, causing the duo to immediately stop walking.

Ylva closed her eyes briefly and sighed, just before turning to face Ubbe. "And what about her?"

"She cannot stay here with Ivar. You know that. You know that better than anyone. Everyone can see that he is unfit to lead the Great Army. Everyone but her. If these warriors see her standing at his side, they will do the same," Ubbe explained, an uneasy look on his face, "We cannot let that happen. If they lead this army together, no one would be able to stop them."

"Freya is no longer my concern. She is an adult. She can make her own decisions," Ylva forced herself to say, knowing even though she didn't want Freya to stay with Ivar, she couldn't do anything to stop it, "I've tried to keep her away from him, yet everything I do seems to make her drift even more way from me and more toward him."

Ylva took a deep breath, giving Ubbe one last look before walking out of the tent with Bjorn following soon after.

____

On their boat, Bjorn and Ylva were barking orders to their warriors, wanting everything set and ready to leave.

"It seems once again, this is goodbye," Freya spoke up as she walked toward Ylva, smiling sadly, "At least this time, we get a proper one."

Ylva smiled and walked over to Freya, cupping her face in his hands. "No matter what, you will always have me, remember that. I would do anything for you, anything to keep you safe, away from harm."

"I'm not a child anymore," Freya smiled up at her mother, "I'm not your responsibility."

"Freya, you will always be my responsibility, no matter what," She reminded Freya as shook her head.

"I dare say that is what I've always loved most about having you as a mother," Freya confessed in a whisper, "You'll always protect me no matter what. Even if I hate you for it."

"That's what being a mother is," Ylva replied, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

She pulled away from Freya, quick to wipe her tears. She sighed and before she could react, Freya hugged her tightly.

Ylva smiled, immediately hugging her oldest daughter back. "We will see each other soon. I know it."

"That we will," Freya replied softly as she nodded her head. She turned on her heel, beginning to walk away.

"Mother," She suddenly called out and Ylva immediately turned to face her, "Thank you for loving me, even when I didn't deserve to be loved. Anyone else would have thrown me to the wolves."

Ylva smiled at her daughter's words and shook her head. "You always deserved to be loved, no matter what, Freya. It was only you who thought otherwise. You think you're incapable of loving another, but I know that's not true. You're afraid of forming a bond with anyone, fearing that they might abandon you if they knew who you are truly are. But that isn't true. I know the truth. One day, you will find love with someone with whom will love you for you and they will make you happy. I know it."

Moments had passed and Ylva smiled sadly as she watched Freya walk away.

The horns sounded, meaning it was time to leave. Bjorn laughed happily and appeared behind Ylva. He wrapped his arms around her from the back, pressing numerous to her neck and cheek.

She began to smile and Bjorn lifted her off the ground slightly, causing her to laugh. "Are you ready?" She asked as she turned to look him in the eyes.

"More than ready," Bjorn replied, smiling widely at the thought of sailing once more.

____

In Kattegat, Gyda was running around, carrying a shield and ax as Rorik attempted to slash at her. She was laughed, amused by her brother's attempts in getting to her.

She roughly shoved him back and tossed him her ax, allowing him to hold an ax in one hand and a sword in the other.

He began to slash at her and Gyda smiled, using her shield to block his form of attacks. She ducked and avoided him, continuing to smile in amusement.

He lunged toward her, beginning to swing at her repeatedly. He shoved her back, causing her to laugh as she fell onto a table. She continued to hold her ax up, leading to him continuing to hit that.

"Enough! Enough! I get it! You're strong," Gyda laughed loudly in amusement as she held out her hand.

Rorik panted, grabbing ahold of her hand. He helped her up, only to watch as she switched position and made him fall onto the table.

She smirked, looking down at her older brother. "But I shall always be stronger," She commented, a satisfied look on her face as she helped him up, "You're almost sixteen now. You're practically a man. It's time we start training Halig and Erik."

"Erik is only seven," Rorik complained and Gyda smiled, nodding her head.

"Mother started teaching us and Freya at his age," Gyda pointed out in a calm tone, "It runs in the blood on Mother's side to start training that young. She is not here to start training with Erik, which means it is within our right to do so in her place."

"Do you think they'll ever come back?" Rorik suddenly asked, turning to give Gyda a curious look, "Mother and Father?"

"Of course they will," Gyda replied, letting out a large scoff, "Mother and Father are two of the greatest warriors of this land. Father is the son of Ragnar Lothbrok. Mother fought in her first battle at eleven. It would take much more than a journey to the Mediterranean to defeat them."

Gyda smiled, wrapping an arm around Rorik as they both stood up and went to find their younger siblings.

_____

It was nighttime and on their boat, Ylva sat by the fire with Halfdan and Bjorn. Bjorn had his arm wrapped Ylva, the two of them sitting close together as Ylva had her head rested on his chest. "Why did you really decide to come with me?" Bjorn found himself asking Halfdan curiously.

"Why did you go into the wilderness?" Halfdan retorted and a small smile appeared on Ylva's face, "You had something to prove. So do I."

"What do you want to achieve?" Bjorn questioned curiously as he turned to look at the man.

"My brother loves fame more than I do. For me, I just want to live," Halfdan admitted softly and Ylva smiled at the thought, "But I want to live with the greatest intensity. I want to feel every moment of my life, as long as it lasts. I want to be more than just alive, if you understand me."

"Oh, I do," Bjorn replied, smiling as he exchanged a look with Ylva.

Just then, the duo turned, watching as Sinric walked over to join them. "Sinric," Bjorn greeted the man, surprised to see him awake that late at night, "What keeps you awake?"

"I have been thinking," He informed them in a calm tone, "Where we are going, it will be much better to appear as traders rather than raiders."

"So? What of it?" Ylva shrugged, frowning at the man.

"So, you and Ylva should send most of your fleet hope," Sinric replied, earning a puzzled look from Ylva.

"I'm sorry, what?" She asked, frowning in confusion.

"Better to proceed with, at most, three of your ships," He continued, causing Bjorn to give him a weird look.

"But I will feel naked," Bjorn complained to Sinric as he continued to give him a weird look.

"Better naked than dead," Sinric pointed out and Ylva couldn't help but smile slightly.

"He might have a point there," Ylva commented, causing Bjorn to sigh and place his face in his hands.