GREATNESS
— 28. Estranged

It was late by the time Ylva returned to the tent she shared with Bjorn. He was still wearing his war paint, blood still on his face as he stared down at the fire in front of him with a blank expression on his face.

Ylva sighed and walked over to him, placing a hand on his back while she rested her chin on his shoulder. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, only to find that Bjorn didn't react to it in the slightest.

"What is on your mind, husband?" She asked him after a moment of silence.

"Everything," Bjorn admitted in a whisper, looking shameful, "About Kattegat. About Ragnar. About how I've been a poor father."

Hearing the last part of his confession, Ylva sighed and nodded her head in agreement. "I have not been the best of parents, either. I did not even know my own son was alive," She confessed, looking ashamed, "I have thoughts, too, though. I have dreams. Dreams I still not have achieved. We have six children yet only one is with us now. One is trapped in Kattegat, our two youngest are half a world away and Gyda, our eldest, who is half a world away as well, in love with a Saxon king, while my other daughter Freya is not as much our enemy as I once believed. She did what she did for love. It would seem my daughters are cursed with a weakness that is the same as mine. I am a fool for love. I wonder if our next child will be the same."

Hearing Ylva mention their children, Bjorn turned to Ylva, his eyes widening slightly. "I have rarely heard you speak of our unborn child," He admitted as he turned to face her, sighing, "Are you happy?"

Ylva nodded and poured a drink for herself. "I am happy now. Our unborn child brings me hope for the future. Perhaps the seer was wrong and our child will live," She paused, beginning to smile softly, "I also do like the thought of carrying your child inside me. The child of Bjorn Ironside."

Bjorn smiled at Ylva's words, watching as she walked closer to him. "You are the most extraordinary woman I ever met, you know. You never cease to amaze me, my love," He admitted, turning to face her.

"I am just like any other woman, Bjorn. I don't want to have to do anything I don't want to do," She admitted as she moved closer to Bjorn, beginning to untie his shirt, "But I was born in a place of power that allowed me to achieve my dreams and I killed any man who tried to tell me I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I didn't want to be trapped and I killed Erik to make sure I wasn't. I want to free and being with you allows me to do so."

Bjorn smiled and stared down at Ylva. He began to lean forward to kiss her, only to have Ylva lightly shove him back. "I want to fight," She admitted, bearing her teeth as Bjorn moved toward the bed without breaking eye contact with her, "For that is when I feel most alive. I want to be one of the most famous shield maidens of all time and I wish for our children to be as great of warriors as we are," She explained, shoving Bjorn onto the bed before she knelt before his parted legs, "And I want to be a mystery to you, even after being married to you for all these years and I am. I want to be at your side, now and always, and so we are. I want us to explore new lands together and rule at each other's side at equals."

Ylva smiled at Bjorn, who stared back at her. "I'm crazy, aren't I?" She asked, leaning down before she licked a stripe up Bjorn's abdomen, all the way to the middle of his chest.

Bjorn groaned in pleasure, beginning to smile down at her. "Trust me, I know. The first day I met you as a boy, you blackened my eye and somehow convinced my father that it was my fault it happened," He explained, causing them both to laugh.

"And such craziness never put you off?" She asked, removing her pants before she climbed on top of Bjorn while only wearing a shirt that was already half-opened.

"It only made me love you more," Bjorn replied as he shook his head in response. He looked down, smiling as he watched her begin to untie his pants.

"Listen, Bjorn, I want to have sex. As we have always done the night before a battle," She confessed, only to watch Bjorn tilt his head as he stared up at her.

"You do not want to be with Gunnhild?" He asked, a suspicious look on his face.

"You are my husband, Bjorn. You will always come first. Gunnhild is...a concubine, you could say," She admitted, gradually beginning to smirk as she lowered herself onto Bjorn, which caused him to groan in pleasure, "I might die tomorrow. Or you might. But, in any case, I wish to feel you inside me, even though I am already swelling with your child. I want to feel the warmth of it, in case it is the last time."

Bjorn groaned as Ylva began to buck her hips, slowly moving up and down on him. He lifted his hands, slowly pulling down her shirt to reveal her breasts. He placed her hands on her waist, both of them moaning in pleasure.

______

It was night time and inside the cabin, they were using to make their battle plans in, Hvitserk was closest to the door when a hooded woman entered. Ylva turned and frowned, only to watch as the woman removed her hood to reveal herself to be Freya. The moment he laid eyes on her, Hvitserk's eyes widened in shock.

Hvitserk gasped and immediately rushed over to her. He sighed in relief, cupping her face in his hands before he pressed his forehead against hers. "Freya, what...what are you doing here?" He asked in a concerned tone, "Ivar will kill you if he finds out you are here."

"I had to come," Freya informed him calmly as she turned to look at Bjorn and Ylva, the latter unable to bring herself to look her daughter in the eyes, "I have things I must say. But first..." She trailed off and turned, the whole group watching as Halig entered with a calm expression on his face.

"Halig?" Ylva asked in disbelief and Halig smiled, nodding his head at his mother. Her son was alive.

"Hello, Mother," He greeted her and within seconds, Bjorn and Ylva rushed over to their son. They hugged him tightly, both of them beginning to cry tears of joy now that their son had been returned to them.

Smiling, Rorik walked over and hugged his brother as well.

"I am sorry, for all of this. Partly, this is all my fault. I could've stopped him long ago, but I only made matters worse," She confessed, tears in her eyes as she looked around, "He killed our baby, Hvitserk."

The moment he heard the news, Hvitserk froze in place. He slowly turned her, his eyes widening in disbelief as tears began to fill them.

Ylva sighed as she heard the news, turning to exchange a look with Bjorn.

"He...He left him in the woods to die because he had the eyes of a snake, just as Sigurd had. The eyes of the serpent your grandfather slain in the sagas," Freya informed Hvitserk, tears beginning to form in her eyes, "Ivar is a monster. You have to stop him. I wish I stopped him long ago, but I didn't. I should have, but I didn't."

"How?" Ylva asked as she finally looked Freya in the eye for the first time since the girl had arrived.

"There is a secret way into the town. Ivar created it for his own escape. That's how I got out," She informed the group in a calm tone, "I will show your scouts where it is and I will open it for you in the morning. Be ready."

Bjorn walked toward Freya, looking almost suspicious of her.

However, without saying anything else, Freya turned to leave. Bjorn ended up grabbing her arm before she could do so and Freya hesitantly turned to face him. "Thank you, Freya. This means a lot," He told her in a soft tone and Freya stared up at him, trying to contain her tears.

"I want to see Ivar strung up in a tree. I want him to experience the most painful of deaths after everything he has cost me, even if it means I myself have to die," She explained in a low, threatening tone, "He cost me everything. I shall return the favor."

Freya glanced around, quickly wiping her tears before she went to leave.

"Freya," A voice suddenly called out, causing Freya to turn. The moment she did so, she found herself being engulfed in a hug by Halig, "Thank you. For everything. I would not have survived what I did if it weren't for you."

"You would have. You're stronger than you let on," Freya admitted, smiling sadly as she placed a hand on the side of his face, "I will miss you, little brother. Just know that I love you. You were the only thing keeping me sane these past few months."

"Please don't leave," Halig pleaded, staring up at Freya with tears in her eyes, "Please don't leave me. If you go back, you'll die. I don't want you to die. I need you. You're my sister. You're my blood, my family. I need you by my side."

"I must go, sweetheart," Freya replied softly as she cupped his face in his hands, "But it will be alright. You will be alright, I promise," She paused, beginning to cry as she hugged him tightly, "I love you, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you, too," Halig responded, crying as he hugged her back.

Freya closed her eyes, forcing back her tears as she kissed him on the head before she headed toward the door.

"No, please!" Halig shouted out as he rushed toward the door, sobbing, "Please don't go, Freya. Please! He'll kill you! You know he will! Please!"

Rorik and Amma quickly rushed over to Halig and pulled the crying boy back, watching him sob as Freya left the room.

Ylva watched the scene in horror, never before seeing Halig so hysterical before. He never cried, even as a baby. He was always so quiet. What had happened?

"Do you trust her?" Harald suddenly asked, causing Ylva to look away from her son and over to Harald.

Bjorn was silent for a long moment, looking downwards. "What choice do we have?" He suddenly commented and Ylva sighed, shaking her head before she walked away.

She walked outside and noticed that Freya still hadn't reached her horse. She sighed in relief and immediately ran over.

"Freya!" She called out, causing Freya to stop and turn to Ylva in shock, "I must thank you, for taking care of Halig."

"He is family and my blood. Did you really think I wouldn't protect him?" Freya asked, letting out a large scoff.

"In all honesty, I did not know," Ylva admitted, a guilty look appearing on her face, "After I left you in York, you became a completely different person."

"Perhaps I wouldn't have done the same for Gyda, but Halig is different. I love that boy, I always have. He was the only one who never treated me like a monster," She explained and Ylva walked toward her, trying to contain her tears.

"Why? Why did you betray me, Freya?" Ylva asked her daughter in a whisper, "I mothered you more than any of them, and still, you betrayed me."

"Ivar made me believe he was the only one who could understand me. When I realized he was wrong, it was too late. I had fallen in love with Hvitserk, who joined Ivar because of me. I couldn't leave him and when Ivar suspected that I still would, he threatened to kill Hvitserk. I could not let that happen," She confessed and Ylva remained in place, realizing that Hvitserk had, indeed, been telling the truth, "When I arrived back from England, I sent a whaler to warn Lagertha about Ivar being on the verge of attacking her. The message was never received because we killed them for what they tried to do to me. They tried to rape me," She paused, waiting for Ylva to respond but she didn't, " I am sorry about what I did to Sihtric, but you must understand. He came to me on the battlefield. It was either I killed him or he killed me and I refused to die."

Ylva didn't respond. Instead, she sighed and nodded her head in understanding.

"I hope you can forgive me for everything I did in the past. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, even when I was younger," Freya spoke up, tearing up as she walked closer to Ylva.

"You were difficult, yes, but I still loved you. I always did. You were my daughter," She paused, sighing as she began to smile sadly, "You still are."

"Please say you forgive me," Freya pleaded, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, "I believe I am going to die tomorrow. Ivar will learn about what I did and I wish to be forgiven by you before I die."

Ylva teared up and walked closer to Freya. She smiled sadly, cupping the girl's face in her hands as she wiped her hands. "You will not die tomorrow. But I forgive you."

"Of course I am going to die tomorrow. The gods hate me. They made my child blind and bear Sigurd's eyes as a way to punish me for having Hvitserk's child but making Ivar believe it was his," She admitted, crying as she did so, "But you know, the whole time I was giving birth and after I had lost him all I could think about..." She trailed off, crying out as she stared up at Ylva, "All I could think about was how much I wanted my own mother."

Hearing Freya's confession, Ylva began to tear up, never believing she'd hear the words come out of Freya's mouth. Freya never admitted how much she needed Ylva, even when both of them knew that she did, more than any of her children.

"Tomorrow, if I am dead, tell Halig that I love him and I thank him for being the only one who never treated me like a monster. Tell him that I know he is destined for great things. Tell him I could not have survived this past year in Kattegat if it weren't for him. He was what kept me sane," Freya explained and Ylva nodded her head.

"I will. I promise," She assured Freya, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry for how much I've wronged you in the past. Everything I've done to wrong you, I regret. It haunts my dreams, to know that I am the cause of my own unhappiness, I am the reason for everything bad that has happened to me," Freya confessed, looking down at the ground in shame.

"It doesn't matter. You will survive tomorrow and you will make up for that," Ylva assured her, smiling sadly as she cupped Freya's face in her hands, "You will be back with me once more. As my daughter. The daughter I love, despite everything that has happened. We will be a family again, I promise. You must survive this, though. Promise me you will stay alive."

"I promise," Freya replied in a whisper and Ylva wasted no time hugging her daughter.

"I love you, Freya. Always Remember that," Ylva whispered into Freya's ear as she pressed a kiss to her cheek.

She pulled away and turned, on the verge of leaving when she saw Hvitserk standing there.

Ylva glanced between them, smiling sadly before walking away. She knew they needed to talk.

_____

That night, Ylva returned to the cabin to find all eyes on her. She glanced around, frowning when she saw Halig nowhere in sight. "Where is Halig?" She asked in concern and Rorik pointed in the direction of the room attached to the cabin.

She nodded and walked toward the room, wasting no time walking in. She found Halig sitting in front of the window, crying to himself.

"I can't even begin to think about how hard it was for you living in Kattegat this past year without any of us," She admitted and Halig shrugged his shoulders.

"It was no different. You and Father were never around anyway," Halig retorted, causing Ylva's face to fall, "At least the house was finally quiet without Gyda and Freya arguing or Erik and Thyra making a mess of the place. In fact, I think I want to go back to Kattegat right now."

"Why are you trying to hurt me?" Ylva suddenly asked, causing Halig to turn to her with wide eyes, "You think I'm a fool, Halig? Freya has been using that tactic on me since long before you were even born."

Halig sighed and turned to his mother, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "In the past year, I barely left our home. I was always kept inside, but despite that, I was content. I was safe and the only time I was put in harm's way was just a few days after Hvitserk left. But other than that, I was fine. The only problem was how much I missed my family. I wanted so badly to be reunited with you, but I don't want to be anymore. Not if it means Freya must die because of me."

"Freya will not die," Ylva argued as she walked toward Halig.

"That is what you want to believe, but it's not true. We both know that. Ivar is going to kill her and there's nothing we can do to stop it," Halig explained, tears rushing down his face as he looked devastated, "I can't bear it. I can't lose her. She's my sister. She's all I had this past year. She might have been cruel at times, but she loved me. She cared for me. And now she is going to die."

"I can't bear to lose her either," Ylva admitted, sighing as she wrapped her arms around Halig, "But we must get through this. Freya would want us to be strong. Tomorrow, your father, your brother, and I must fight and then all will be well again."

"I want to fight, too," Halig demanded, causing Ylva to frown in concern.

"I can't let you do that," Ylva argued as she shook her head in disapproval.

"Why?"

"Why?" Ylva repeated after him as she let out a large scoff, "Perhaps because you almost died last time!"

"I didn't almost die last time. I wasn't even wounded," Halig complained as he stared at his mother in disbelief, "You just forgot about me until it was too late," He paused, shrugging his shoulder as he looked down at the ground, "Hvitserk says it happens a lot to the child born in the middle."

"Halig..." Ylva trailed off and placed a hand on her son's shoulder, "I don't think it's wise for you to fight tomorrow."

"Please," Halig pleaded, a desperate look on his face, "Please, Mother. I must do this. I need to do this. I have never asked for anything in my life so please just grant me this one wish. Please."

Ylva sighed as she stared down at Halig. Despite feeling hesitant, she nodded, causing Halig to smile victoriously. He was about to walk away when Ylva grabbed him by the arm, causing him to turn to his mother. "You keep your shield up at all times and always be on guard," She demanded in a stern tone, "Don't die stupidly. I just got you back."

Halig smiled at his mother. He nodded his head and with that, he walked out of the room.

Ylva watched him walk away, her smile fading as tears filled her eyes. He had a point about Freya. She wanted her to live, but there was not a chance in hell that she actually would.