GREATNESS
— 15. Exile

Bjorn and Ylva were eleven at the time, sitting at a table together eating their evening meal alongside Gyda. Lagertha and Ragnar had gone to Kattegat for two days and left Ylva in charge, which didn't settle well with Bjorn.

He believed he deserved to be the head of the farm while his mother and father were gone. He didn't believe it was fair Ylva could appear out of nowhere and suddenly be appointed the boss of them.

Bjorn was older than her by two moons. He thought that reason enough for him to be in charge.

"I want to go see my Uncle Rollo," Bjorn suddenly spoke up, causing Gyda and Ylva to turn to look at him, "And I plan to go after dinner."

"I gave Ragnar my word that I would look after you both here," Ylva informed him and Bjorn let out a large scoff.

"You are not looking after us!" Bjorn complained as he gestured between himself and Gyda, "We look after ourselves. You act like an adult but you're even younger than I am."

"Yet who is the most mature?" Ylva retorted calmly, causing Bjorn to fall silent.

Gyda quietly chuckled, earning a glare from Bjorn while Ylva smiled.

"I don't know even know why you're staying with us. You came here out of nowhere, with only the clothes on your back and a need to boss us all around and Father lets you. I don't understand it. He said you were only staying a few days. It's been months! Why won't you leave already? I share a room already with Gyda. I don't want to share a room too. Don't you have your own home to stay at?"

By the end of his rant, Bjorn's face fell, noticing how Ylva looked genuinely hurt by his words. He watched as she poured herself a cup of ale but instead of drinking it, she threw the contents of it in Bjorn's face. She shot him a glare before storming out of the home.

Bjorn sighed deeply and wiped the ale off his face. He groaned and turned to Gyda, who was giving him a disapproving look. "What?" He asked her in an annoyed tone.

"Don't you hear Father and Mother talking? Ylva has no place to go. Her father is trying to kill her. He locked her brothers up in dungeons and if her brother Sihtric hadn't helped her escape, she would have been killed in her sleep," Gyda explained, causing Bjorn's eyes to widen.

He sighed deeply in defeat and stood up. He glanced at Gyda, just before walking outside. It was raining, but Bjorn didn't care. He walked through the field before spotting Ylva at a tree.

"I didn't know the reason you were staying with us. I'm sorry for snapping at you the way you did," Bjorn spoke up and Ylva rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't want your pity," She argued, earning an annoyed look from Bjorn.

"I'm not pitying you," He complained and Ylva scoffed loudly.

"You are," She responded in a stern tone, "If you hadn't known the truth, you wouldn't be apologizing."

"You have a point," Bjorn admitted softly as he looked down at the ground. He sighed, taking a seat beside her against the tree, "I really am sorry for always being mean to you. I just..." He trailed off, sighing as he turned to look her in the eyes, "My father treats you like are an adult. He doesn't do that with me. He takes you to Kattegat with him and to see Floki and Rollo. He never does that with me. And most of the time, he trains with you, not me."

"He's trying to prepare me for what I plan to do in the future," Ylva confessed, earning a puzzled look from Bjorn.

"What do you plan to do in the future?" Bjorn found himself asking Ylva out of curiosity.

"I am going to rule this land," She informed him, causing Bjorn's eyes to widen, "One day, I will combine Kattegat and Ashton and make it one. Many have attempted to do it in the last few centuries, but none have succeeded. I will," She informed him with a confident expression on her face.

"Earl Haraldson rules Kattegat," He reminded her and Ylva shook her head.

"He won't for long. I can feel it. Kattegat and Ashton have always been destined to become one. A day will come soon enough where I raise an army bigger than anyone would think someone my age is capable of. I shall take Ashton back from my father and I will kill anyone who gets in my way, starting with him and his precious wife," She explained in a confident tone, "I will amount to greatness and be a better ruler than any who came before me in my bloodline. I shall rule with love, but I will still inspire enough fear to make sure no one ever stands against me. I will make this land better. And if I die in the process, at least I will die trying to achieve something I believed in."

"That is a big dream for someone our age," Bjorn commented and Ylva smiled, shaking her head in response, "We're only eleven!"

"You can do anything you put your mind to, Bjorn," She reminded him as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"What else is included in this dream of yours? Will you marry?" Bjorn asked her and just by the look on his face, Ylva began to laugh.

"I will never marry nor will I have children," Ylva declared and Bjorn lowered his head, looking almost disappointed, "Don't give me that look. Not even an hour ago, you hated me more than anything in this world."

"That is because I didn't know the truth!" Bjorn complained, causing Ylva to laugh in amusement.

"One day, Bjorn, you will marry a beautiful girl who will love you unconditionally," Ylva informed him, resting her head on his shoulder, "You will love her, too, and you will have many children. But you must treat her well. Never betray her for another. Never cheat. Treat her as though she were a goddess and always be loyal. For if you are not, you might lose her forever."

"You sound like my mother," Bjorn complained, earning an amused smile from Ylva, "You sound like an adult."

"People who have been through what I have are forced to grow up quicker than we should have to," Ylva admitted in a whisper, a disappointed look on her face.

"I hope you achieve your dream of taking back Ashton," Bjorn admitted as he wrapped an arm around her, "And I hope that one day, after you have left this farm and become the powerful Earl I know you will be, we will meet again and perhaps you might change your mind about marriage."

"I'd never marry you!" Ylva replied, beginning to laugh, "You're too stubborn and a person who has shared a room with you for months now, I know that you don't know how to not make messes and clean up after yourself. No one would want that type of husband."

Bjorn remained silent and rolled his eyes while Ylva smiled in amusement. "We're eleven years old. There's no need to talk of marriage now," Ylva informed him as she moved closer to him, "But to make you feel better..." She trailed off and briefly kissed him on the lips before standing up, "I hope you're happy."

Bjorn stared up at Ylva with wide eyes, watching as she began to walk away without another word said.

    After months of living together, Bjorn finally began to warm up to Ylva in a way he never had before. He grew to care for her and imagined a time in the future where she could be his wife. However, only a week after that day, Ylva had been forced to leave.

A year had passed before Bjorn and his family had learned of what she was up to. She was twelve by that time and just like she had told Bjorn she would do, she raised an army. She fought in her first battle and Bjorn couldn't help but feel envious.

By that time, Ragnar had gone on his first journey to England and when he returned, he, Bjorn, and Lagertha learned that Ashton had been taken by Ylva once and for all. She had been only thirteen and the family couldn't be more proud of the young girl.

Bjorn had thought of her often. He never had the opportunity to see her again. Not for many years, but that didn't mean he didn't hear numerous stories about her. She was a formidable warrior, but he had already known that. She was a great beauty, too, but Bjorn knew that too. And as he heard each story, he couldn't help but admire the girl.

And in truth, as the years passed and even after they had reunited and soon married, Ylva had and always would be his inspiration. His strength. And in a way, Bjorn was hers, especially after the loss of Sihtric, which some claimed to had broken the mighty Ylva the Dread's spirit.

And they were right.

   When they fled Kattegat, it was Ylva who had brought them to a place that they'd be safe and unable to be found at. After all, she had been on the run for three years as a girl. If anyone could find a place to stay hidden, it was her.

  At their hideout, Bjorn walked to a nearby stream, filling a bucket with water before returning to the rest of the group.

Ylva was kneeling in front of Thyra and Erik, speaking to them quietly. Rorik and Gyda were a few feet away, using their knives to carve pieces of wood out of boredom. Torvi was near Ylva, sitting on the ground with her own children, Hali and Asa. Her son Guthrum had slain in battle by Hvitserk, just as Hali and Asa's father, Sihtric, had been killed as well by Freya.

"Why don't we go to Hedeby?" Ubbe suddenly spoke up, turning to glance at Lagertha, "Do you still have people there? What about Ashton?"

"They won't be for long when Ivar discovers our plans," Bjorn replied in a calm tone, "And surely, Ivar has either merged the crowns of Ashton and Kattegat or Harald has taken my wife's lands for himself."

"How long before his scouts find us?" Torvi found herself asking the group in a concerned tone.

"A few weeks, maybe, if we're lucky," Bjorn answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"I refuse to accept that this is the end of my story," Lagertha complained in a stern tone as she turned to face the group, "To be captured, humiliated, and killed by Ivar and Freya. No. I am worth more than that."

"We don't have an army capable of challenging him," Bjorn snapped at his mother in an aggravated tone.

"There must be something we can do, somewhere we can go," Rorik spoke up and Bjorn scoffed loudly.

"Where? Where, Rorik?" Ylva asked her eldest son with an attitude, "What can we do, where can we go, huh? Freya and Ivar will surely chase us to the ends of the Earth if it meant they'd get to kill us once and for all. There is nowhere we can go."

"We could go to England," Bishop Heahmund suddenly spoke up, causing Ylva to turn to the man with a weird look on her face.

"Hmm. Where they will kill us," Bjorn replied in a sarcastic tone.

"Possibly. Not necessarily," Heahmund responded calmly, "I will intercede on your behalf with King Æthelwulf. He will almost certainly welcome you," He explained and Ylva looked up at the man from her seated position, a part of her looking interested, "But he will ask you to fight for him against the Danes or other raiding Vikings."

"It's worth a try, isn't it?" Gyda asked, glancing between her mother and father.

"We could establish our claim to the lands in East Anglia given to us by Ecbert," Ubbe spoke up, agreeing with Gyda.

"I don't want to leave my country and my home," Ylva argued, shaking her head in disapproval, "I'd rather die than flee like a coward."

"Does it look like we have a choice, Mother?" Gyda complained to her mother in an annoyed tone, "We get it. Uncle Sihtric is dead. Freya betrayed you. Halig is dead. Rorik and I might be able to take care of ourselves, but you have Thyra and Erik to think of as well. Would you truly put them in harm's way because of your pride?"

Ylva stood up, shooting her daughter a glare. With that, she walked out of their hideout, causing Gyda to sigh in defeat while Bjorn looked conflicted.

_____

   Ylva had separated from the rest of the group after Gyda's outburst on her. She walked to the woods, needing some time alone. She was falling apart. She lost her brother, her son, and she was betrayed by the girl she called her daughter. Everyone wanted her to just get over it, but she couldn't.

    Ylva was standing in the woods alone, carving Sihtric's name in Viking runes into the tree in front of her.

"I should have been there, to save you from Freya. She wouldn't have been able to do what she had if I had just killed her when I had the chance. It's my fault she had the opportunity to kill you. And now, not only have I lost you, but I lost my son Halig. I sure hope he's with you in Valhalla," She spoke up, smiling sadly as she brushed her fingers over the carvings she made in the tree, "Perhaps you're even feasting with Erik and our mother. Maybe even Father, too. Who knows? Perhaps Odin forgave him for all that he did and he's bettered himself while feasting with the gods. That'd be a pretty sight when I die. We'd have a good laugh about that."

  Ylva paused, sighing as she looked down at the ground, trying to contain her sadness. "You always claimed that I was the one to save this family. That I am the one who kept us all alive all these years, but in truth, it was always the other way around. You were the one keeping me alive," She explained, beginning to tear up as her lip quivered, "Freya is to be Queen of Kattegat now and she'll surely take Ashton for herself, too. You always predicted this and warned me about what she was destined to do yet I always chose to ignore it. I'd say you were crazy, that she was just a child. Many times over the years, I chose her over you and it caused us to drift. I'm sorry about that."

"Now, Bjorn and the rest of them are saying we should flee to England and I don't know how I can do that. I've said many times that I would rather die than give up my Earldom, but I have children to think of. I lost Halig and Freya betrayed me. I have four other children to think of. But..." She trailed off, beginning to cry as tears streamed down her face, "But I fought so hard for everything I've built for myself. I don't know how I can just give it up."

Ylva slowly lifted her head, trembling as she began to speak in a whisper. "I don't know what to do and I really wish you were here to tell me, big brother."

"I give up, Sihtric. I can't... " She sighed softly, shaking her head as she began to sob, "I can't take it anymore, Sihtric, I can't. I can't move on from this and I don't want to. You're gone and it's all my fault. Nobody can say otherwise. And I know, even if I were to avenge you, I wouldn't feel better. I wouldn't feel peace. I wouldn't feel anything," She cried out as she placed a hand over her aching heart, "Because you'd still be gone and nothing can change that. If thinking like that makes me weak, I don't care. I can't handle you being gone. I can't handle feeling like that. You have always been the one that has kept me going, making sure I stayed strong. Without you, I...." She trailed off as she stared down at the ground in shame, "You have always been my strength and now you're not here. Even thinking about it just hurts so much and I can't..."

Ylva took a deep breath, lifting her head as tears spilled down her cheek. "I can't bear it," She admitted in a whisper, a devastated look on her face.

She cried softly, stepping away from the tree as she wiped her tears. Her brother was gone and she'd never be the sane.