Chapter 5

Noah

She was all that I could think about.

My entire brain was possessed with her.

I couldn't stop thinking about every little detail.

Was her hair still soft?

Did she still snort when she laughed?

Did she cross her fingers when she got nervous?

Was she still adamantly opposed to bare feet or flip flops?

I had so many questions about her habits and how they've changed or stayed the same.

I was in a daze as I was driving home from school, thinking of how beautifully focused she looked while she was trying to pay attention in health. I almost ran two stop signs because I was mesmerized by the memory of her lips and how they looked even more kissable today.

When I pulled into the driveway of my house, I sat there for a minute, wondering how the hell I was going to get through this.

It would be a stretch to say that our relationship had any chance of rekindling.

But if I had to keep seeing her so much, how could I stand it?

I ran my fingers through my hair, knowing that this was a hopeless cause.

A tap on my window caused me to jump, a gasp escaping my lips.

I swore under my breath as I pushed open the door.

"Uncle Ryan." I sighed, pulling my bag over my shoulder.

"Early life crisis?" He raised his eyebrows. "What do you have to get so stressed about?"

"Life." I replied, stepping past him.

"What about it?" Uncle Ryan pressed, following me towards the house.

"Complicated shit." I sighed. "That I don't want to talk about. Leave me alone."

Uncle Ryan stood there perplexed as I walked into the house.

Completely out of character for me to be so rude but did I care? No.

I was being faced with my worst nightmare, literally.

As I walked down the hall to my room, I started getting a little bit angry at both myself and Harper.

How could she get upset with me for not coming to see her?

We both knew her mother was livid with us, me specifically.

What was I going to do? Bring her flowers or something?

"Sorry I got you pregnant and fucked up your life." I said aloud as I angrily set my backpack down on the floor.

I walked towards my bed, stubbing my toe on the edge of my desk.

"Fuck!" I yelled, putting pressure on the toe. "Fuck you!" I yelled at the desk as I kicked it again, full of anger. "It's not my fucking fault!"

I felt like pulling out my hair as the tension in my chest only grew.

"It's not my fault I didn't come see her!" I yelled at the inanimate desk. "It's not like she wanted to see me!"

It felt oddly good, letting out the stress I had been keeping bottled up since I moved here.

"It's not my fault your mom made me move out of the damn county!" I yelled, shoving the desk chair across the room. "And it's not only my fault you got pregnant!"

I let out another yell as I collapsed onto my bed and buried my head into the pillow.

Not once in the past two years had I uttered a word about how I felt during the entire thing.

If my aunt and uncle knew anything, they didn't let on.

I couldn't tell my new friends here what happened because we were fifteen. Their biggest worries was that they'd never seen a live pair of breasts before. Mine was a little bit more advanced.

I heard my door creak open and I sat up straight, embarrassed to feel that my cheeks were damp.

"What?" I asked as my Uncle stepped inside.

He cleared his throat, shutting the door behind him.

"What happened today, Noah?" He asked softly, genuine concern written on his face.

"She's at the school." I whispered. "And her dad is the football coach. And everything in my life is so precariously balanced on this current situation that it could all tip at any minute."

Uncle Ryan just nodded, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned against the desk.

"Well I don't think the desk or the desk chair is to blame for any of this." He said quietly, a slight smile forming on his face.

My cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

"No, listen, okay I'm not having this conversation." I shook my head, standing up from the bed. "I have to get to Roy's before the game I can't-"

"Hey, whoa slow down there." Uncle Ryan told me as I tried to walk past him. "Your aunt and I were talking... And lately you've been a little bit... Off and-"

"I have to go." I replied, still trying to get past him.

"Not so fast. We were thinking maybe it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone about everything. I know we haven't exactly been the best people to talk to about what happened with the girl but-"

"Forget I said anything." I muttered, finally able to get past him.

I grabbed my football bag on the way out of the house and practically ran to my car.

I drove as fast as I could to Roy's house, praying that he was alone when I got there.

Just my luck, there were five other guys in his basement when I came too fast down the stairs.

"Whoa, what's the rush?" Roy laughed, glancing up from drawing something on a piece of paper.

"Are you fucking drawing?" I asked suddenly, unable to repress the comment.

"Explaining a play for tonight. Have you been fucking crying?" Roy's eyes widened as he stood up to his full height.

Everyone was looking at me.

"Nah man my windows were down and some dumb ass bug flew into my eyes." I laughed. "Been rubbing at them non stop, they hurt like a bitch." I managed to make up a story, grabbing a bottle of iced tea from the fridge.

"Iced tea? Are you a middle aged woman?" Mick teased.

I flipped him off, walking across the room to look at the pictures on the mantlepiece.

"Dude you were a fat kid." I said to Roy, looking at the pictures. "How'd you lose all that weight?"

"It was baby fat, dipshit." Roy said, frowning at me.

I just nodded, taking a sip of the iced tea as I picked up a ping pong paddle and twirled it around in my fingers.

"Who wants to play?" I asked happily, turning to face the guys who were still looking at me oddly.

"Yo, you still on your whole 'no alcohol' thing?" Roy frowned, setting down his pencil.

"Of course I am, why?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Then are you high?" Mick asked carefully, glancing at Roy.

"No I'm not." I shook my head. "Is it almost time to get to the game?" I asked quickly.

I needed something to keep my mind off of Harper.

The more I stayed still the more I thought of her and the more I felt like crying.

What the hell was happening to me?

"Yeah, Kelly and Anna were saying that they convinced coach's daughter to come to the game and the after party." Mick looked thrilled.

"Daaaaaaamn." Roy teased. "Can't wait for her to fall in love with me because of my amazing football skills."

I froze, my stomach falling.

"You better be on your game tonight to meet my passes, Keller." Roy told me.

But I wasn't listening.

My brain was spinning and I felt like I was going to be sick.

Harper was going to be at the game?

How was I going to get my mind off of her if I was focused on looking good for her?

She hadn't seen me play since freshman year when I was scrawny and awkward.

"I'm screwed." I whispered to myself, shaking my head. "Absolutely, royally screwed." 

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When the super hot football boy in your AP Bio class sees you bawling in your car after you and ur bf broke up :)))))))))))))) and then fucking tells everyone about it :))))))))))))

-E xx