Chapter 22

Harper

I've always been the kind of person that gets second-hand pain.

In a game if someone gets injured, I wince, instinctively grabbing my own limb or body part that the other person knocked or broke or twisted.

When someone stubs their toe, I scrunch my own toes up, my stomach flipping.

I'd be a horrible doctor because any sort of injury makes my stomach weak and my heart rate speed up.

One time in a basketball game another girl broke her elbow and it was all sticking out at a nasty angle and she was screaming and everyone was moving around and I passed out.

I don't do well with injuries.

So when my body hit the floor and my back twisted, I instantly knew I was out for the game.

Even if I didn't get injured, it would throw me off my game and I couldn't get back in.

Excruciating pain shot through my abdomen, enough to make me cry out loud.

My right hip, right knee, and right elbow scraped across the gym floor loudly and instantly started stinging.

I tried taking in a breath but it only made my head spin with how much my middle was hurting.

I'd never felt pain like this before in my life. Nothing even came close.

And just like that, the room started spinning, and I passed out.

There was once an episode of Glee when they all kept going to the dentist or something because they would trip on the laughing gas they got. I think it was the Britney Spears episode.

But that's what I felt like.

At first, I was vaguely aware of the ambulance ride to the hospital. The flashing lights and loud sirens and my dad telling me that everything was going to be okay and that Noah was on his way.

That didn't bring me any comfort. I knew that Noah didn't want to follow through with what I wanted.

How could I put him through it?

I was vaguely aware of a ton of doctors around me. I was aware enough to be able to tell that something was seriously wrong with me and that I was going to go into surgery.

But then things started to get fuzzy.

I was eighteen so my dad had no legal say over me so I was supposed to be responsible for everything.

But I wasn't comprehending anything.

The lights were flashing overhead as the bed I was in was being wheeled down the hallway and then I felt myself losing it.

It was euphoric experience that you read about and think 'oh wow that's total bullshit'. All of those stories of people having out of body experiences always make me laugh.

I never believed them because they seem like completely made up crap, right?

Well apparently not.

Because I saw myself laying in the bed with a pale face and an oxygen mask and an IV in my arm and doctors quickly pushing the bed and talking intently to each other.

I saw them wheel me into the operating room and then the door shut, leaving me outside.

I could no longer see myself but I heard my dad's voice down the hall and then Noah's voice.

I quickly followed the sound, feeling like I'd just slept for ten hours and was completely rejuvenated. I felt lighter than usual but I was definitely still walking.

Were my injuries this serious? Was I dying?

I found my dad and Noah in a private waiting room, sitting with one chair in between them.

"She's going to be okay though, right?"

"It's just a burst spleen. They think it was still swollen due to the fact that she had mono last year. She'll be alright they just need to take it out, she's bleeding a lot internally." My dad was telling Noah.

I took a seat across from them, knowing that they couldn't see me, but still wanting to just watch Noah in all of his glory.

I was really in love with the guy.

Noah took a deep breath, rubbing his palms over his knees. "Thank God. When you called... I thought..." Noah shook his head. "But she burst her spleen by going down in a basketball game?" Noah asked in shock, leaning forwards again.

"One of those freak accidents. She's pretty scraped up too, she went skidding across the court." My dad explained.

Noah took a deep breath, pushing his hair back from his face.

"And did the doctors say anything else? About...?" Noah trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

I instinctively grabbed my stomach, wondering if there really was something in there.

It had been long enough that I wasn't imagining the slightly noticeable bump forming. And Noah was right... My symptoms were pretty obvious.

My dad just looked at Noah and it seemed for a minute that both of them knew the same thing.

Did my dad know I was pregnant?

"No, nothing else." My dad shook his head.

Noah just nodded, biting his bottom lip.

"Coach I have to tell you something and I need you to promise me you'll keep your cool." Noah said seriously, running his hands through his hair again.

"No promises." My dad laughed. "What's going on?"

"I don't think... I uh..." Noah trailed off, struggling to find the right words. "There's something I need to tell you."

"I'm all ears." My dad said, his face growing serious as he leaned forwards with his elbows on his knees. "But before you start am I your Coach listening with confidentiality or am I your girlfriend's dad?"

Noah winced, running his hand down his face.

"That's a tough one. I think... I think you need to be a little bit of both right now."

"Oh boy."

"Oh boy." Noah confirmed, his knees bouncing up and down.

"Alright, take a deep breath, stop fidgeting, and start talking." My dad said seriously. "I'm a neutral party."

"Not for long." Noah whispered. "Okay."

I leaned towards them in anticipation.

Was Noah about to spill our secrets?

"Four years ago... Four years ago I moved to a new town when my dad got transferred." Noah started. "And on my first day at school I was placed next to a girl and that girl was... She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever set eyes on." Noah said, looking down at the floor. "And yeah we were only freshman, we were barely fifteen years old, but I asked her out, we started going out, hanging out, spending time with each other's families..."

My dad leaned back in his chair and I could instantly tell by the look on his face that he knew where this was going.

"We were young and fearless and stupid and one night her mom was out of town, I stayed over, and we thought we were mature enough to handle sleeping together. It became a staple of our relationship and we were careful at first, we really were. But the longer we dated, the more careless we became. Then she started getting sick in the mornings, having crazy nightmares, losing sleep, and eating a ton of olives. It took a few months but we realized that we fucked up, big time." Noah explained, taking a deep breath.

He rubbed his chin with his hand, glancing up at my dad before continuing to talk.

"We thought we'd be responsible and tell our parents what was going on, right? Well my parents freaked out and her mom lost her mind. Her mom forced her to get an abortion and today I found out my parents were more than okay with it, they paid for it, they pushed for it, and they didn't tell me." Noah explained. "My parents sent me to live with my aunt and uncle after that. I never heard what happened to her because everyone made it perfectly clear that I was done with that life."

My dad ran his hands down his face and I could've sworn he looked like he was about to cry.

"Fast forward until about six months ago. I'm sitting in your kitchen at a team dinner and you're ridiculously tense because your daughter is supposed to arrive soon. Then a girl walks through that door and I instantly recognize the voice. She's more sarcastic than I remember and looks a hell of a lot edgier but it's her, it's the girl I fell in love with four years ago." Noah said quietly. "We didn't tell you because we thought you'd kill me, and quite frankly I wouldn't mind if you did."

"Noah..." My dad said quietly.

"No, let me finish." Noah shook his head. "Coach, please."

"Go on." My dad nodded, rubbing his face.

"We met up at a party and it was obvious that whatever used to be between us was still there, if not stronger. We started dating, we tried to act like we were a fresh couple but it was hard to. Mick and Roy found out, I'm pretty sure my cousin Kelly knows, my aunt and uncle know, and then history started to repeat itself..."

Please don't... Please don't go there.

Noah...

"Do you remember that day that Harper was sick in the morning? You guys had that heart to heart about getting to know each other? She told you that she had a nightmare and it made her sick? And she just couldn't seem to shake the stomach bug?" Noah started.

My dad just nodded.

"Well I noticed it too. I noticed the trends. I don't think she wants me to tell you this... But I just... I think... Harper has been ignoring it but it has to be multiple months by now and I think she's pregnant again." Noah whispered. "Coach, you don't understand how much I regret this. You don't understand how much I regret everything. I needed to tell you, as her dad. And I need your advice, as my coach."

My dad took a deep breath, leaning forwards.

"Before they took her up to surgery, they warned me that the procedure might put stress on the fetus." My dad whispered. "She's pregnant. She's in her second trimester."

Noah looked like he was going to be sick and I felt the breath leave me body.

Was I even breathing, though?

"She's..."

"She's pregnant." My dad nodded. "Noah..." My dad trailed off.

"I don't know what to do." Noah whispered. "And I think... I think... I think everyone had it right last time."

My dad stayed silent for a minute, looking down at his feet.

"Right now, we wait for her to get out of surgery. We don't... We don't make any decisions right now." My dad said quietly. "Noah, I want to be able to be your Coach right now but I just can't. I'm Harper's dad and that's taking up everything right now."

"I assumed." Noah whispered. "I'm sorry."

"But thank you for telling me, okay? You're a good man, Noah." My dad offered a smile.

It quickly faded off of his face.

They both looked up as a doctor walked into the room.

"Mr. Norman?" The doctor asked.

My dad and Noah stood up and so did I, even though nobody could see me I felt like I had to.

"Yeah?" My dad asked.

"Harper is out of surgery, she's in recovery. You can come see her now, she'll be waking up within the hour."

"Can I?" Noah asked quietly.

"Family only for right now." The doctor said.

The room started spinning slightly as Noah sat back down.

I watched him, my heart feeling like it was about to burst out of my chest.

"I love you." I told him, having to sit down before I fell over from dizziness.

Then I couldn't hear anything and the room went fuzzy and next thing I knew I was laying flat on my back and a hand was holding mine.

I opened my eyes and took a deep breath.

Was everything I just saw true? Did that actually happen?

"Hey... Harper..." My dad said, leaning forwards.

I turned to look at him, my heart rate spiking.

"Everything okay?" My dad asked quietly.

"Am I pregnant?" I whispered, tears filling my eyes.

My dad took a deep breath, squeezing my hand.

"Yeah." He whispered.

"Does Noah know?" I asked.

My dad nodded again.

"He does." He whispered.

I closed my eyes, squeezing my dad's hand.

"Please don't be mad at me." I begged. "Please."

"Harper, I'm not mad." My dad whispered. "Not in the slightest."

I felt sick to my stomach as I tried to calm myself down.

"Did Noah tell you..."

"He told me everything."

"And?" I asked, opening my eyes again to look at my dad.

"And... And nothing. We didn't... We didn't talk about it much."

"He doesn't want this kid." I whispered.

"No, no he doesn't."

"I want the kid."

"Harper..."

"No, dad, listen to me." I said seriously, trying to sit up.

I winced at the pain in my stomach and laid back against the pillow.

"Careful, honey." My dad sighed, leaning forwards.

"Listen." I told him, my voice raising above a whisper. "You're going to think I'm crazy but you have to hear me out. I want to have this kid. I think... I think it's best for me."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"But I do. Dad, I've had four years to think about what life would've been like with a kid compared to what it's like without." I said quietly. "I'm not going to college. I don't have the grades for that. I'll take a few years, raise my baby, and then go back to school."

"Harper... You just got out of surgery, you-"

"Dad, listen to me!" I exclaimed. "This is what I want! This isn't a rash decision! I've wanted this for four years!"

My dad took a deep breath.

"Noah is on a good path, Harper. He's going to a Big10 school next year, he got into the Ross School of Business at Michigan, he's on a good path."

"And I don't want him in on this. I want to do it myself."

"You what?" My dad asked in shock. "Harper you're kidding..."

"He doesn't want this and I don't want this and I think that... I have a plan."

"You have a plan." My dad repeated.

"It's a stretch, but I have a plan." I nodded, closing my eyes for a minute as I got a little bit dizzy.

"You just had surgery I think you should take a breath and-"

"I think Noah will be fine if he's under the impression that the surgery went well but the baby didn't make it."

"You want me to lie?"

"Yeah, dad, I do." I nodded. "And I think... I think I should go stay with Grandma and Grandpa."

"With my parents?"

"Yes."

"My parents?"

"Your parents."

My dad took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair.

"This is what you want?"

"I'm eighteen. I can get my GED, I can-"

"You're sure this is what you want?" My dad repeated, clasping his hands behind his head.

"One hundred percent positive." I nodded.

"I'll make the call."