Chapter 16

Harper

The nightmares stopped after three more nights.

I didn't throw up anymore.

And there were no more tears.

Dad and I were still getting along well, and I voluntarily spent time with him.

Sometimes we watched sports games (I pretended to be interested for his benefit) and sometimes he'd watch Netflix with me (he pretended to be interested in the drama on Gossip Girl).

We didn't hear anything from my mom: my nightmare was fading into the back of my mind and I didn't think anything of it anymore. I knew she wasn't going to show up in my life and even if she did, I had faith that dad and I would be able to work everything out.

Noah was weird a bit for the first few days after I skipped school, but I worked overtime to make sure he knew that everything was okay.

He was more attentive to my body than I was, and I knew that he'd be able to tell that something was off even before I did sometimes, but I think I threw him off of my trail.

I fell into a rhythm with school, I was getting my work done, I was getting enough sleep, and I could easily say that I was happier than I'd been in years.

The next month flew by in a whirlwind of fun dates with Noah, exhilarating football games even when we got crushed, and genuinely fun days with my dad.

"Are you excited for tonight?" I asked curiously, turning to face Noah.

Noah sighed, rolling onto his side so that his face was directly in front of mine.

"Kind of the opposite. I don't want it to happen." Noah whispered, slowly reaching out to pull my hips against his.

"Why?" I whispered. There was something about someone else whispering that just made you have to whisper too. I don't know.

I gently pushed my knee in-between Noah's legs, twisting mine with his in an attempt to get as close as possible.

"It's my last football game ever, probably." Noah sighed, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "Kind of bitter sweet."

"You'll no longer be obligated to be respectful around my dad." I laughed.

"Yeah for about two weeks until Basketball starts." Noah laughed.

"What?" I frowned.

Noah gave me an odd look.

"Your dad is the assistant offense coach for men's basketball at school."

"My dad coaches basketball? Since when?" I frowned, leaning back slightly.

"Since forever? Why's that such a big deal?"

"Because I play basketball... I'm trying out for the team this year."

"For real?"

"For real." I laughed. "I dunno, I was pretty cut up when you left and I tried out for basketball and turns out I'm actually good."

"Well sick, your dad will love that."

"I can't believe he didn't tell me he coaches." I mumbled, resting my head on Noah's chest again.

"Yeah." Noah sighed.

"He's still going to be your coach?" I asked hesitantly. I'd been so ready for Noah to be no longer tied to my dad in a way other than me...

"Pretty much." Noah laughed. "Just because football's over doesn't mean anything changes. It's just moving inside to the gym rather than the turf. I'll still be at your house for dinner the night before games just with a different team."

"Shit, Noah, why do you have to be so athletic?"

"Why does your dad have to be my coach?" Noah shot back.

I stuck my tongue out at him but Noah quickly retaliated by leaning forwards to softly bite it.

I laughed, licking his nose before resting my head back on the pillow.

"Mick and Roy haven't said anything else about us?" I asked softly.

"Nothing that we need to be concerned about." Noah shook his head. "Just guy talk."

"Like how many times a weekend you get laid?" I raised my eyebrows. "Or how many times you've gotten road head?"

"Something like that." Noah laughed, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "I mean what do you expect, Roy and Anna don't do shit even though they've been together for ages and Mick barely talks to girls. They think I'm a God."

"Exciting." I rolled my eyes, shifting my hips.

Noah let out a sigh, pushing his hips against mine again as he closed his eyes.

"I could stay like this forever." I whispered, moving my hips too.

"We need to talk about something." Noah whispered.

I stopped instantly.

I mistook his sigh for one of pleasure, but apparently it was apprehension.

"Those words are never good to hear." I whispered, opening my eyes again.

Noah sighed, his eyes still closed as he moved his hand from my hip to lay flat across my stomach.

His touch slid up until he was cupping my chest, then up to my face where he twisted his fingers snugly in my hair.

He pulled a little bit too tight, causing my to wince.

"Either you're getting into that weird mood again where you get all dominant or something iffy is on your mind." I sighed. "Spill."

"All the olives in my fridge have gone missing." Noah whispered, his eyes still closed but now they were squeezed shut and his forehead was pinched together.

"Oh..." I whispered.

"And I know it wasn't my aunt and uncle who ate them."

I bit my lip, my heart rate speeding up to match his that was thudding against my chest.

"Your dad said something a few weeks ago and I wasn't going to say anything..." Noah whispered, squeezing his eyes shut even more. "But Harper I can't ignore this any longer."

I stayed silent.

"Nightmares? Throwing up? Crying?" Noah whispered, his bottom lip quivering.

I reached up to run my fingers through his hair, tears collecting in my eyes when I saw his bottom lip shake.

"Noah..." I whispered.

"I thought it was just a coincidence. Maybe I was being overly sensitive because of what happened last time. And then you ate an entire jar of olives from my pantry and your breasts are so much bigger and your hips are fuller and you've just got that look about you that makes me want to jump you all the time and I just..."

A tear slipped out of his eye and fell on the pillow, causing my stomach to sink as I tightened my grip on his hair.

"Harper I see things... I know things..." Noah said seriously, his voice at full volume now.

He opened his eyes that were bloodshot and dilated, his gaze staring directly into mine.

"I... I'm not even sure." I shook my head.

"But you knew." Noah's voice cracked. "You've known something was up and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't... I don't want to think about it." I said quietly. "Last time... Last time was just so... So..."

"Holy shit." Noah whispered, leaning forwards to press his forehead against my chest. "Holy shit." He breathed.

I pulled him close against me, resting my chin on top of his head as I tugged on his hair.

As soon as I felt his body shake with a sob, that's when I lost it.

That's when I started to cry, holding him as tightly as I could as I felt my world unravel for the second time.

"Why does this keep happening to us?" Noah mumbled, his voice shaky and hoarse.

"Noah I don't want last time to repeat itself."

"It won't, you're not living with your mom this time, it won't be so bad." Noah said seriously, pulling back from me. His face was shiny and blotchy, but I knew I probably looked worse. "I'll be there every step of the way, holding your hand through everything, I don't-"

"No, I mean I don't want that to happen. I don't... I can't go through that again."

"You don't think we... You don't mean..."

"I'm not getting another abortion."

"Harper." Noah said my name slowly in disbelief, his forehead pulling tight again. "You can't be serious..."

"I'll make it through graduation. I'll have the kid before college. I'm going to community college anyways, I don't have the grades to go anywhere big, I'll be fine."

I took a deep breath, shaking my head.

"You have to get up... You've got to be at the game." I whispered, pressing my forehead against his.

"Are you coming tonight?" Noah asked, pushing back the duvet as he sat up straight.

"Of course I am. It's your last game." I told him, pulling the duvet closer around my body as a chill rushed over my skin.

Noah sighed, stretching his arms over his head as he stood up from the bed.

"Cute butt." I mumbled, a smile spreading on my face.

Noah let out a laugh, turning around to face me for a minute.

"You know what, we're gonna be alright." Noah said confidently, walking over to the dresser to grab some underwear. "We'll figure life out."

"Damn right we will." I replied, sitting up with the duvet still wrapped around me. "But let's not jump to any rash decisions until I actually take a test."

Noah froze as he was halfway through pulling jeans up his legs.

"You haven't even taken a test?" He asked, his voice low.

I shook my head. "I didn't want... I didn't want to know anything before you knew and I just..." I trailed off.

"Don't." Noah said suddenly, continuing to pull his pants up. "Don't take a test."

"What?" I laughed, raising my eyebrows.

"Don't confirm anything." Noah frowned, tugging a t-shirt over his head. "I don't... I don't want to know anything for sure. Just give us some more time."

"No test." I confirmed. "No doctors. Nobody knows."

"You and I are going to be the only ones that know anything might be out of the ordinary, okay?" Noah told me, walking over towards the bed.

"We're keeping this a secret indefinitely." I whispered, not taking my eyes off of his. "Just you and me. Our little secret."

"Our little secret." Noah confirmed, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "I'll see you at the game."

"Wanna stay over?" I asked impulsively.

"Tonight? I don't think coach would be cool with that." Noah shook his head, kissing my cheek again. "Not that I wouldn't want to, of course."

"We can ask?" I whispered. "Maybe?"

"Maybe." Noah nodded, his eyes dropping to the chain around my neck. He let out a sigh as he picked up the ring from resting against my chest. "I like that you still wear this." He whispered.

I looked down, kissing his fingers that were holding the metal.

"Me too." I whispered.

"Because I don't give a damn what anyone says, I'm still marrying you one day." Noah said confidently before pressing a kiss to my lips. "Alright, I gotta get out of here."

"Good luck at the game." I said happily, pulling the duvet tighter around me. "I'll see you later."

"I'll see you at the game. Don't be late." Noah told me, walking towards the door. "And be out of here by six, that's when my aunt and uncle will be home."

"Got it." I laughed, laying back down against the pillows.

Noah opened the door to leave, glancing back at me one more time.

"I love you, Harper Lawrence." Noah said softly, his hand still on the doorknob.

"I love you." I whispered, reaching up to play with the ring hanging around my neck. "So much."